MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

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  • valjean
    valjean Member Posts: 1,110

    Happy Birthday, marlegal!

    Many blessings in the future!

  • gavinsgrandma
    gavinsgrandma Member Posts: 115

    Hi Ladies, I think I may fit in here pretty good, I will make my story short and sweet, I turned 50 in January and in May I retired as a hairstylist after 25 years, thought I would find a nice little office job, something easier on the ole Body and off my feet for a few years. Well life had other plans on May 30th I had my Bx( also my grandsons 1st birthday)then the next day I found out it was malignant, on 7/18/13 I had BLM with delayed recon, PS wanted to wait on TE'S so as not to interfere with treatment. During surgery I had 2/2 positive nodes and at 1st f/u with BS found out 15/15 are bad so now we add rads to the mix. Saw MO and he ordered PET came back with more node involvement but no Mets anywhere else, so as far as we know good news there, fingers still crossed. I start my chemo Thursday 8/15 and I have to admit I am very nervous about it. I have really connected with some great ladies on this site but I came across this thread and I felt as though I should qualify😄



    Shary🌞

  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 2,845

    Shary, welcome. This is a great group. I was scared out of my wits in anticipation of chemo, and then it just wasn't that bad. It wasn't fun, but it was doable. Exercise helps. Taking ALL the anti-nausea meds helps too. My onc had me on a schedule of anti-puke meds, with the idea of not allowing it to start. It never did. 

    Oh, and take some kind of pro-biotics, loads and all the time. It helps against thrush and stomach issues.

  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 879

    Welcome Shary - you have landed at one of the best threads for support, encouragement, and knowledge. Wonderful women here who will share experiences. We like to laugh, vent, cry, yell and scream. There is no  such thing as a "dumb" question so ask away.

    It is good to hear that your nodes are doing their job of catching any stray cells that have decided to wander. Best of luck with tx. Others who have "been there, done that" will be able to tell you what to expect as you go through tx.

    Stick around so that we may get to know you better and keep us posted on how you are doing.

  • elimar
    elimar Member Posts: 5,886

    Hello, gavinsgrandma!  That is some terrible timing with getting the Dx just then, but I have said before, there is no good time to get a Dx of B/C.  We just have to roll with it.  I'm doing chemo right now and can say it is nasty, but in some ways, I thought it would really kick my butt and I have only had a couple days where I felt like it did.  I agree with trying to stay active, and one thing I have been doing for the past months is letting the family members do the tedious energy-sapping chores, so that I could use my energy to walk and ride my bike...things that took energy, but were beneficial for my body.  Let us know which chemo you will be doing.  Some here will have done the same and can comment more particularly about it.  The scariest part of chemo is all the aprehension before you actually start, when it is unknown.  Then, it becomes a somewhat boring routine.  IMHO.

  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 2,845

    "and one thing I have been doing for the past months is letting the family members do the tedious energy-sapping chores, so that I could use my energy to walk and ride my bike..."

    Eli, very good point. First thing I did was to hire a cleaning lady. I saved my energy for exercise and for having fun. 

  • elimar
    elimar Member Posts: 5,886

    And it is amazing that something as simple as doing that might make a difference on how you get through the whole ordeal.

                                                     

  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 2,845

    Eli, absolutely! It is amazing what a nice time you can have, even during evil chemo, if you make having a nice time your top priority.

  • Sherryc
    Sherryc Member Posts: 4,503

    Hey ladies, I just realized I had so much fun with my BFF's that I never reported back in to tell ya'll my MO appt went very well. Don't have to see him again until December and then I'll have a bone density this time. I am 20 plus pages behind so I won't even try to catch up. I have been extremely busy at work and does not look like things are slowing down any.

    Welcome to all the newbies that I have missed.

    I hope everyones treatments are going OK.

    HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!!!

  • gavinsgrandma
    gavinsgrandma Member Posts: 115

    Momine, thank you for the tips I am going shopping today and I will get some pro-biotics, I have seen that idea else where. Our stats are very similar.

    Barsco1963, thank you so much for replying, I never thought of it as my nodes are doing their job, I thought if as oh crap it's moving along.

    Elmer, great ideas, I had not thought off having someone to clean for me but that is a great idea, and I can see the value in it for sure.

    I love the cute signs you ladies put on here, how do you do it? Thank you all again for your warm welcomes and I look foreword to meeting everyone else😄



    Shary🌞

  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 2,845

    Shary, if you can't afford or find a cleaning lady, when friends ask what they can do to help, have them come and clean.

    Another thing I found useful was to cook a big batch of something chemo friendly when I was feeling well. Then I froze individual portions. That way I always had something decent to eat, even on the days when I felt too tired or blah to cook. I did things like bolognese sauce (which I ate on quinoa instead of noodles) and soups with a little meat and lots of veggies and legumes. I also got the butcher to cut turkey or chicken breast into 3oz thin slices, then I froze them on a cookie sheet. Those can go in a pan frozen and still cook in about 10 minutes or less. With some steamed veggies or in a salad that makes an easy, yet decently nutritious, meal.

  • elimar
    elimar Member Posts: 5,886

    Sherryc, Excellent news about your MO appt. and thanks for reminding me I should check out my bone density again this winter.  I do it on an every other year pattern and it will be interesting to see if things have changed much since I will have been off of Tamox. for about a year.

  • eph3_12
    eph3_12 Member Posts: 2,704

    Hey Middies, Haven't been posting much since the 25000 party-still recovering I guessLaughing  We are so smoked up here in the Rogue Valley right now, surrounded by forest fires.  I'm heading to the beach tomorrow - rented a condo, taking me, myself & I and am checking out till Sunday!  Wooooooooo-whooooo!

  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 879

    Sherry - Good to hear that all is well!

    Eph - I am sooooo jealous! What a terrific group you have going to the beach. A condo, the sun, the sand, the waves....... enjoy my friend. 

    Me? I have just returned from the dr and am going to take a couple of weeks off from work - try to get me, myself and I all on the same page and in a better place. Working full time is becoming too exhausting right now. So I will rest up, and enjoy the sun and the summer breeze from my front porch.

  • gavinsgrandma
    gavinsgrandma Member Posts: 115

    Momine, great ideas😄

    barsco1963, Sounds to me like you need a week deserved rest and by the way your front porch sound heavenly😄

    Shary🌞

  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 10,618

    Welcome, Gavinsgrandma.  He's a cutie!

    Barsco, glad you are taking time for yourself to regroup.  Enjoy the time off.

    Speaking of time off, you have a great time breathing some clean ocean air, Eph.

    My current boss came in and chatted with me yesterday.  I had to ask for two days off next week for medical appointments.  He told me that as long as I work for him, I can take any days I need.  Yes, I don't get paid for them, but at least I don't get stressed out.  He is being very understanding.

    Sherry, good news on the MO visit.

  • luvmygoats
    luvmygoats Member Posts: 2,484

    Barsco - Hope the 2 weeks off helps clear some of the cobwebs from your head. Hope it is strictly for "me time" and not something physically with you. Prayers/hugs for you my friend.

    Welcome Shary to the Middies. Sorry for the dx and the timing but glad you've found your way to this rockin' group.

    Meece - Can we clone your boss? What a sweetheart.

    Eph - enjoy the coastal trip. Fire smoke (at least not "campfire" smoke) sounds like not so much fun.

    Well, the fun day of the toilet replacements AND the dead hot water heater is done. Now to pay off the credit card bill.

    Middies - need some advice. Anyone had a bone scan? My lovely sternoclavicular costochondritis is not getting better. Been on Celebrex for 1.5 mo. MO wants to do bone scan now; already had chest CT. Wish - like you Elimar - had been proactive and demanded it first. It just noted that "neck unremarkable". MO didn't even put reason if for it being done so radio. could have maybe concentrated more on neck. I postponed scan until late month since I see BS in the meantime. Want her opinion too.

    How does one fire a doc - MO? He's not done anything out of accepted tx protocol, but just finding faults with him. The MO that was suggested to me practiced at another location but is now at same loc. as he is - which is kinda a bummer. I thought she was too far away - HA - little did I know how infreq. I would be there so distance not so much of a factor. Have 3 other friends who've had BC and use 2 diff. MOs from me. One I would not choose and the other is the one I'm thinking of switching to. Now to make it even more diff. my MO is a top doc. in the area, the other one not. I know sometimes that rating is how much you hobnob and not so much how good med. practice is. He is also on tumor board which is another reason I selected him - thought it showed interest. Oh my. Well, I need pocket partay for Aug. 28th for BS and Aug. 30 for bone scan. I love anything and everything - well no sushi/oysters - but other than that bring it on.

  • elimar
    elimar Member Posts: 5,886

    luvmygoats, It was not me instigating a bone scan.  Because of my stage, I got very little scanning as part of my B/C treatment (other than MRI as part of Dx and then CT for rads positioning.)  I DID get a bone scan because I had to report lingering back (shoulder blade area) pain to the MO and you know how they are if you put bone and pain into the same sentence...  I was happy to get the bone scan, however.  Low radiation AND mine was clear and can be a good baseline for any future issues (that hopefully I will never have.)

    About the doctors, I have switched to another in the same practice before.  It's not as big a deal as you think (and who cares about the egos involved!)  The good part of doing that is that your records are right there.  (Don't forget, I had my CRC surgery from the "new guy" and I flat out told him I felt his colleagues messed up in not Dxing me sooner, and that I hope he was more on the ball than the other two.)  Maybe before switching to another location, you could have a consult with the female MO, mention that it is not going that great with her partner and see if she takes another approach than he does?  If others have recommended her to you already, it might be worth it.

  • luvmygoats
    luvmygoats Member Posts: 2,484

    Thanks Elimar. I had NO scanning originally with my DX. It was so close to what I call "garden variety" BC caught early by all indications, no LVI, no nodes, 1.2 cm. This costochondritis popped up (literally pop) just b4 my 6 month appt in June which is what prompted the chest CT. He wasn't even going to do that until he felt it moved a little with palpation and it is oh so slightly tender. Yes - I have a good friend who had Grade 3 BC treated by the other MO. I say other because there are probably 10 in the same group that treat it in various centers. I'm a chicken and easily embarrassed. Know I need to stick up for myself, stick to my guns and do what I think is right for me. Dunno. Don't think he was 1st choice of BS but then again nurse navigator had his business card. My gyne had opinion of another - not one I would have chosen but I think both of other 2 friends did. Gosh 4 women in this small circle of friends with BS. Odds don't sound too good. Darn - didn't win the Powerball either.

    Wondered about how much radiation. I think CTs have much more than we perceive.

    You know how your mind goes to the dark places. Don't think IF I had to do chemo he would be the one I would want.

  • elimar
    elimar Member Posts: 5,886

    Goatsy, we are almost Dx twins (me, 7mm and only 2 nodes taken) so I can relate to the lack or alarm they exhibit when dealing with us Early-birds.  I think the only reason why I had an initial MRI is that mammo never "saw" the B/C in my dense tissue.  They must have needed to look whether there was just the lump that I could SEE/feel or if there was MORE in there before I got started.

    You definitely need to find an MO on your wavelength.  It makes such a big difference going through this!

  • gavinsgrandma
    gavinsgrandma Member Posts: 115

    Thank you luvmygaots😄



    Shary🌞

  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 879

    Thanks all - the time off is definitely for some "me" time. Having some issues but, I have not (thankfully) had any change in status of late. Just trying to come to terms with where I am at and where I want to be. Hoping that some free time, sunshine, warm air and a good book will help.

    luv - will definitely be in your pocket on both days! Please send out reminders though - you know how our memories are. lol 

    Meece - your boss sounds very understanding. It sure helps when your employer is on board with your needing to do what it takes to stay well. Hope your appts don't give any cause for concern.

  • elimar
    elimar Member Posts: 5,886

    What a sorry tale of greed.  Why some people gots to be so cray-zee?

  • luvmygoats
    luvmygoats Member Posts: 2,484

    Loral - I thought at first it was just the money scam. OMG - I can't believe one human would do stuff like that to another human. Just tie him down and pump him full of chemo juice.

    Thank the Lord for good doctors (may not like mine so much but he is not this jackass) and multple sources of diagnoses.

    You know diagnostic workups for a scam are one thing - not saying it's right - but chemo for no reason. Geesh.

  • heartnsoul76
    heartnsoul76 Member Posts: 1,204

    What a horrible story, Loral! Yes, wouldn't it be great if they gave HIM chemo?

    barsco & Eph - enjoy your time off!  A beach and a porch - my two favorite things. 

    My son is on his college break, so I'm putting him to work while I can!  I hate to do it, but I guess I need to get a bigger storage room from Public Storage.  I have lots of stuff to get rid of and I can't seem to get organized unless I get this stuff out of the way!  And I need my son to help me move all the boxes I've packed plus furniture, etc.  My sunroom is beginning to peek out from all the junk I've tossed in there over the years!

    Sure enough, I didn't have my breast MRI because they didn't bother to seek approval for it until the day before the test.  So, I guess I'll call them tomorrow (just spent all day today on the phone with AT&T).  Oh, if only we could get paid for all the time we spend straightening out other people's mistakes...

    Hope everyone has a GREAT weekend!

  • loral
    loral Member Posts: 818

    Hope everyone has a great one!!!

  • marlegal
    marlegal Member Posts: 1,482

    Welcome to a few newbies, and I'll be in all the pockets for those getting tests next week. Have we heard from Dianarose lately? Hope that poor woman isn't working her fingers to the bone and too worn out to post! Maybe I missed one in scanning the last few pages.

    Barsco, I commend you for knowing that you needed a break. I have no doubt you will make the most of this "me time". We should all do more of that. I'm going to Vegas in Sept with some women from BCO chat and the TaTas group on the Boards. Only know one personally (my travelling partner..have met her many times) but looking forward to making 35+ new friends! That, for me, will be my "me time". Hub's not a traveller but is all for me going on these jaunts thank God.

    Luv, get your butt away from that doc and switch to one you're 100% comfortable with. As others said, you owe him nothing whatsoever and he will not spend two minutes caring that you switch. Do it woman!  Hugs :)

  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 879

    I too have been thinking about dianarose. Hope she is taking it easy and not wearing herself out.

    marlegal - Vegas sounds wonderful. You will, no doubt, have a fantastic time.

    Enjoy the weekend everyone. We are off to BIL's for a family BBQ - looking forward to it.

  • eph3_12
    eph3_12 Member Posts: 2,704

    Home from the beach.  Went from high 90s & crazy smoke to low 60s & fog! LOVED my beach time.  
    Got out of the car at home & wanted to get back in & drive back-low 90s, but the smoke has cleared out for now.  Depending on winds we are supposed to suffer from it until good rains in October or so Undecided

    Dianarose~~~~ how's your flour power holding up?

    goats---switch NOW! (that's my advice anyway.)

    Hope everyone is gearing up for a semi-decent middle week in August of 2013 ALREADY!!!!!  How does that happen?