Calling all TNs
Comments
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Suze: I also agree that it appears you have a really good team working for you. Each person has opinions based on their interpretation of what is going on, so I'm not surprised to hear one of your docs is a bit more resigned than the others. However, that being said, it is better to think positive on anything in life... hands down... no matter what the circumstance. Easier said than done.. been there. Your nodes ARE doing a bang up job, period. That is the whole reason we have them there to begin with, to catch impurities in the blood, infections and so on before they reach other areas of the body. So yes, there is no other way to look at it than to say your nodes are doing what they were created to do. Your PET was clear as I recall so I will look at it as a sign that those nodes caught all those nasty little devils! I'll be praying for you and your team of docs!
I colored my hair 9 weeks pfc this past Tuesday. I used Henna and it turned out very nice! I just took some additional pictures because Henna does change over several hours after coloring. They're currently on my photobucket at http://s1228.photobucket.com/albums/ee444/cc4npg/
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Thanks everyone for your support. I described this experience to my friend as trying to catch a fish with my hands - just when you think you have a hold of it, it slips out of your grasp.
So I am having surgery on Tuesday. My BS got several opinions, and she said that it appeared the nodes - and there are only 2, not 3, yay? - are pretty easy to reach. Because I am not Stage IV and young, she wants to be as aggressive as possible. From her realistic point of view, she thinks that if we just radiate and it recurs in that area, surgery would be impossible and it could make me uncomfortable. So even though she is still not too keen on my chances, she understands that I still have to try. I will then do 5-6 weeks radiation about 2 weeks following surgery (as long as all goes smoothly), then Avastin/chemo.
One thing I am clinging to - the doctors keep saying I have a chemo-resistant cancer. Well, yea, at the end. But I am convinced that I had a significant response to my chemo until 4-6 weeks before the end of my treatment. So I am hoping that first response knocked out any floaters, and that my second round of treatment will do the same. If this cancer had been resistant from the beginning, I'm fairly sure I'd be Stage IV already given its aggressiveness. When I have trouble sleeping, this is what I tell myself
.I'll let you all know how the surgery went!
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Suze35- I think you are so right. Keep fighting and I'm sending you big hugs. And good luck with surgery.
Isabelle XX
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Suze35: I am glad you have a plan now. Surgery and radiation sound like a good idea. BTW: I am surprised that just because one chemo didn't work, they aren't trying another. Not all chemos are the same and I know for LauraJane, the last one she used worked well and hers was resistant to the first chemo, which is one of the standard chemos given. I think it's good that you question this and I would get a couple more opinions.
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Isabelle - thank you
.MBJ - I am going to do another chemo - we just aren't sure what yet. My MO is convinced Avastin with chemo will help me, so if I don't get into the clinical trial arm with Avastin/chemo, I will pull out (unethical, I don't care), and do Avastin with probably Cisplatin/Gemzar. I agree - there is nothing to say the next combo won't work! That is how my oncologist is approaching it, thankfully!
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Suze: I thought that was the case! That is great to hear and we will all be thinking about you come Tuesday. Where is your surgery being performed at?
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MBJ - I'm having it at Mass General.
Teka - thanks, I'm hoping to. We are headed down to Boston to walk along the Charles. It's gorgeous today!0 -
Suze- Best wishes to you on Tuesday! Sounds like you have a good team of drs. Have a wonderful weekend!!
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Have a good weekend Suze..do you feel the love? We will all be with you on Tuesday ok???
Angelisa..like the color you got...I'm thinking of getting my hair colored again soon...to cover up that dang gray...did get it cut SHORT today...I was looking freaky...I told my beautician that I wanted look sassy..(after laughing that I could never be sassy..ha ha)...I'm 51 so I have to go for a look like that..short, sassy..with glasses that make me look smarter than I am...
I know I'm rambling but this is another reason why I hate cancer...I had a sore throat all week long, been googling throat cancer, tonsil cancer. whatever..put off going to the doctor until today...went to a "quick clinic"...did a strep test and almost threw up on the nurse..my gag reflexes certainly weren't hurt by chemo...this came out negative..The Dr. looked down my throat and said..."no tumors there"..I was about ready to shoot him for saying that..but then again I was sooo happy to hear that...anyway, gave me some amoxicyllin..said I may have diarhea..ok I can handle that...I feel better already..I was imagining that he would say that I would need to see my onc and have a biopsy on my throat and blah blah blah...
My dh..said ..you have a sore throat!! I told him that when you have breast cancer..everything freaks you out...
Ok..done..have a great weekend everyone!
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Teka..I remember my first "haircut" well...I decided to go topless 6 weeks after rads..had 1/2" of hair..had my beautician shape it up..cut a few stragglers and tip it it with a caramel color..absolutely loved it...I was freaking the whole time though...she also waxed my eyebrows..didn't have my glasses on and almost fell out of the booth..we were both soo excited and hugging each other...though BC sucks...there have been moments that have brought me to tears...of happiness..and extreme sadness as well...do you guys know what I mean????
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Smile, cough, cry, choke, laugh--- yes, we know what you mean...
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My son making a tackle at today's rugby game:
His fans watching from the "sin bin":
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Awsome pic Heidi..who does he play for? And did they win (yes..I'm that competitive)...
Brady and Gisella..are so dang cute...love it.
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Titan: You don't look 51 to me at all! And I don't think you ramble or if you do I'm guilty and have been since pre cancer. As for the sore throat, I hope you feel better soon. I don't know how to help you get past thinking everything is linked to cancer because I think it's the first thing most of us think when we have any pain. We didn't used to be this way, and I'm trying hard not to do that... but it is hard. My back has been hurting for about a month, since right before exchange, and it seems to be getting better now but if I've told myself out loud once, I've probably done it at least 20 times that it's not linked to cancer. I started doubting myself a bunch of times too, but it feels, acts and appears to be the sciatic nerve that is getting pinched. I think this is just the way it is for a while... so unfortunately I think you're normal in what you thought. If it was just you, we could just put you on an island by yourself... but there's too many of us for that and I think I might feel a little claustrophobic on an island.
Teka: Congrats on your 1st haircut! I suspect my first trip to the beauty shop may be a while even if I don't plan on growing my hair as long as it used to be. Prior to cancer, I think I may have gone once every 9 months or so.
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Titan- I think in that game they did. He plays both A & B sides (he's *really* fit-- more than most of his team mates) and frankly, unlike their high school and college teams (this is a local men's club) I don't pay that much attention to the score as it isn't posted on a board (most of the games are played in a state park field). You bet I did when they were in school though!
The team mates love Brady & Gisele's "sin bin" which is rugby lingo for penalty box. Brady gets a lot of penalties-- both for his aggressiveness to other dogs (unusual for Boston Terriers) and unauthorized chasing of off-field rugby balls. Ruck on! (more rugby lingo)
On another note-- I am saving tons on hair care. No more color and perms for me! Hubby really likes the short & sassy "boycut".
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Titan: I so remember that first time of going topless. Quite emotional and scary is what I remember and I am so happy to have hair again.
Teka: After over a year of no hair styling except for cuts to control the damage, I got my first color weave and I know what you mean--my stylist really takes good care of me. She even went with me to pick out my first wig so she could style and color it.
Heidi: Thank you for sharing your pictures--your dogs are so adorable!!
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Yep, I think we all remember that first topless moment. Just another example of the courage we gals demonstrate everyday; the sense of vulnerability and loss of control is profound and yet we soldier on.
(((group hug)))
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Getting to be that time of year so, here it is again...
Have a good day ladies. I'm nursing another migraine but have a naturalist field trip this afternoon so I'll have to buck up. Need to make another appt. for an occipital nerve block--- keeps me migraine-free for @ 3 1/2 months.
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I got the butt part straight away and laughed out loud. Then I looked again and got the what part!!
(A little slow this morning)Happy haircuts.
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Hedi - sorry about the migraine. My eldest son gets them so I know they can be really tough.
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HeidiToo,
Thanks for the belly laugh.
I hope your head feels better and you enjoy your day.
BarbaraJo50
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Heidi - thanks for the laughs
. I hope your migraine eases up.Spent yesterday down in Boston, just gorgeous weather. Walked along the harbor side (well, the boys scootered), ate crabs and lobsters at The Barking Crab, and finished up with desserts at Finales. I was pretty good on my diet - just a few bites of desserts, and some wine.
I've been going topless for about 2 weeks now. Everyone says it looks great, and I'm getting used to it...time to get it cleaned up though, as some is longer than others in spots.
Off to do my exercise. I'm only up to 15 minutes on the elliptical, ugh, but hoping to get to 30 soon so I can add in a long walk and get my 60/day.
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Suze: It's beautiful today in Los Angeles, too. Going to attempt a bikeride as today is Ciclavia day in LA--seven miles of not a car in site! It goes right by our house. Glad you are getting out and enjoying the weather.
Heidi: Ouch, my mother and sister both suffer from migraines. Hope you feel better soon.
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Heidi,
Your doggies are precious!!!
What a great action shot at the rugby game!!
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Wow! My DH and I just got back from a 14 mile round trip bike ride to just past downtown Los Angeles and back. They shut down a 7 mile route that started near our house from 10 am - 3 pm with mostly bicyclists, some runners, skaters and walkers. I off and on cried for the first 30 minutes because this is the first time I have felt well enough to do more then just go for my short walks! This time last year was right after I finished chemo and right before my MX. What a crazy, long year it has been. I am so glad to be alive!
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Crap! So last night I felt a lump just below and to the right of my fat grafting. I emailed all of my dr's and my Onc said to put heat on it for a week and that it's probably some fat that didn't take! I just checked my email and my BS wants to get me in right away to have it checked, so hopefully tomorrow I can have maybe an US or something to completely eliminate any possibility of it being anything. I keep telling myself it's just fat but I really hate this fear and this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach at the thought of going through this again. So close to being "done".
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MBJ - I am so happy you were able to get out biking! It must have been so emotional. I agree, even in my crappy situation, it just feels good to be alive. ETA - I just read your last post, I'm so sorry you are going through this scare. I know fat "lumps" are so common...I will keep everything crossed that is what you are dealing with!
Speaking of my crappy situation...ARGHHHH! My middle son woke up sick this AM, and now I appear to have a low grade fever. Two freaking days before surgery! I know we can put it off to Thursday most likely, but I want this OVER. Keep your fingers crossed that lots of Vitamin C and a good night's rest knock this out before it gets worse. Of course, my son is fine after a day...fever broke quickly. Sigh.0 -
Suze: thank you! I hope your fever passes quickly. Stay warm, drink lots of chicken soup, lots of Vit C and I will be hoping you can move forward and not have to wait for your surgery. As scared as I am of surgery, I would rather have it out of me then have to wait. Hoping I can get in tomorrow and have it looked at..
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MBJ- well damn... hope you get answers quickly. I know how scary those thoughts can be.
Suze- I was sick last week for @ 36 hours with low-grade fever and neuralgia. It was weird but didn't last long. Perhaps you have something like that.
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Thanks Heidi: Trying not to let my thoughts go there.
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