Calling all TNs
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LJ - I am so sorry, they have run out of options. My heart aches for you. When my girlfriend went in to hospice care, the best part was help came to her. She didn't have to expend her energy going to doctor appointments. If she needed something the nurse requested it and it was sent in right away.
Wishing you strenght...0 -
It is unbearable and we are all so hopeless to help. I am so sorry, MBJ, Laurajane, and Susan.
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TifJ- thank you so much for responding..I guess we just never know in life what will happen..we can only do all we can to stay healthy. I've heard that in time the fear lessens..I hope that is the case for all of us...K
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It's this kind of a day....
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Suze, LJ and MBJ:
I feel as though I am caught in a freaking nightmare that I can't wake from when faced with all three of your situations. I can only imagine the sheer frustration, panic, sadness and fear each of you are going through. My heart is, literally, so heavy I feel I can't stand straight; however, I want each of you to know, if prayers, love and healing thoughts have any power over this disease, with what all of us on this thread are sending each of you, I am going to keep on hoping for miracles.
Love and peace,
Linda
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Oh gosh, ladies! This is horrible news! I'm so sorry. I'm in your neck of the woods, lj, so I'm getting the gloomy cold rain, too. I don't know what to say but that I'm thinking of you all. Please keep us posted, laurajane, MBJ and Suze. 0
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Mary, LauraJane and Suze - sending you loving peaceful thoughts. So sad to hear the crapshot landed on your squares...it just doesn't make sense....its wrong, wrong, wrong!!! F**ing C**cer.
For the newbies...I'm 16 months from last chemo and still NED !
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Very well said Linda. It is what we are all feeling.
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TifJ:
This is just so unbelievable it's hard to even grasp. I just never imagined that it all could happen this way - there are just no words.......
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Kelly, my first diagnoses was in 12/02 triple neg 2 pos nodes 3.5 cm tumor. I made it until 3/11 until I had a new primary, but don't let that scare you, I have the brca 1 gene. I made it over 8 years without a recurrence, and actually longer if you take away my new primary. I hope that gives you some hope:) I have heard of many triple negs doing fine, but I understand the fear.
MBJ, Suze, LauraJane-I wish I could just take all this crap away for you. I have no wise words of comfort, just please know I am thinking of you all and wishing all the pain would go away.
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I have no words..I'm so pissed off at this damn cancer...
I HATE YOU CANCER!
but I love you ladies.
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I am with Titan! 100%
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Ya know..sometimes I skim around this board..read the alternative thread where they fight like crazy about big pharma and the fda and taking vitamins and all that stuff...
I finally got pissed and told them to come over and read our thread sometime...it's called a reality check...sheesh....
So..I don't think I will be kicked off here because I didn't swear..but if I'm not on here for awhile you know where I am.(or where I'm not)...
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Titan - big hug and calming thoughts your way. We all feel so helpless.
Wishing everyone a brighter tomorrow.
. K</p>0 -
I have trying to write this out for hours, and my darn iPad is slowing me down, deep breaths ladies, and a big group hug. I wish there was someway we could all visit, look tinto each others eyes, and see acceptance and love.
Entering Hospice is NOT the fat lady warming up. Yes, they generally don't expect your life experience to be more then 6 months. If it appears you will happily outlive that, they will move you to Palliative Care.
As everyone has said, hospice is an extremely personal choice. Family can't make it, our children, can't make it - only WE can decide. Be on the receiving end of chemo for life, I can tell you there have been days I wanted to just roll over and forget about it all. I have ALWAYS has a strong work ethic, and drive to be where I needed to be. Going into hospice means a calm shit shift to pain control, comfort, time with your your family, and helping you share in final, joy filled memories,
Hospice is a way of taking control of the situation, and make it the best. They can bring in counselors for your friends and children.0 -
Suze, let me be the first to tell you that I have always felt you have guided me all along since the day I met you here. Again, you are guiding me with your immense wisdom. You have a mind as bright as the sun. Your mind is so peaceful and organized. I can see that from the way you think things out. What a wonderful way for you to explain to us how you have made your decision about hospice. I truly hope and pray that you are just buying hospice time to take control of the situation, to get some peace for yourself and family, knowing fully well that you will be out of there in 6 months, ready for something new to fight the beast which they have out there by that time. I am praying and wishing with all my heart for a miracle cure for you my dear. God bless you!
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Suzy, I hope you get a great hospice team. Most importantly, I hope they can keep you comfortable.
Did you get a comfort kit? Take good care...0 -
I cannot believe what I am reading here about MBJ, Suze and Laura-Jane and all I am whinging about is frigging vomiting and nausea. How shameful I feel, christ what am I made of when all you ladies are going through what you are, and hanging on and dealing with it so well. I agree with Titan about the vitamins etc and my fear is also pathetic. The only thing I can think of at this awful moment is that you are in God's hands and only he can make the decision of when someone passes or not. I'm not particularly religous in that I don't go to Church but I do believe in God and I think he holds out his hands to us and its up to us whether we take them or not. Remember when you leave home in the mornings its only a 50/50 chance on any given day that you will reach home safely again so who knows. All I can say is hang in there and and think of your 50/50 chance. You never know...... All my love and thoughts ladies. xxooxx
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Thinking of our 3 girls this morning and hoping today shines a bit brighter for you. Can you feel the love surrounding you?
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Sending my love, too!
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Cocker_Spaniel - please don't ever feel bad about posting about your SE's or fear, your not whining!! This thread is for you (us) to post about what you (we) are going thru. Right now your going thru the toughest part, chemo. Who better to understand than woman who have been there already and your fear is NOT pathetic, it's real and VALID! I think we're all afraid, I know I'm terrified, I do my best not to think of FC all the time but it creeps in on me and I really need to fight to clear it out my head when it does.
LauraJane, Suze, MBJ - Like Heidi, words fail me. Just please know that all of you are in my heart and always in my thoughts.
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I've spent the last hour catching up on my reading here.....and crying.
LauraJane, Suze, and MBJ, I really don't know what to say. I am holding you all in my heart.
Cocker_Spaniel - Don't ever feel that you need to apologize for posting about side effects, fears, or anything else for that matter. We may all be at different points in this journey, but we are all in it together.
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Thinking of all you ladies this morning and my heart is so heavy for you all!
I pray today you have comfort, peace and enjoy your day.
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I have been off this thread for a few day and I cannot believe what I am reading. I sit here crying with all of you over our beloved sisters who have moved us and comforted us as we ran this race together. We all face this beast unitedly and feel the loss as our own.
Suze LJ and MBJ.--no words but that I am praying for you to find peace and comfort now. Enjoy everyday.
Maggie
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Laurajane, Suze & MaryB - I am praying hard that you all have a wonderful day today! I hope that you get peace with whatever decisions you have to make today. If you can connect with us, we are dying to hear from all of you. Lots and lots of hugs, prayers and healing energy is going to all of you today. I wish I could fly over to wherever each and everyone of you are, and look you in your eyes to tell you that everything will be okay, you will be okay. Just believe in the higher wisdom, trust in him as he only knows what is best for each one of us.
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I had the privilege of having lunch with Susan in May. She is such an amazing and strong woman.
She has been in my thoughts everyday since we've met and will be in my thoughts until my last breath.
Susan my offer still stands should you or your family needs anything please do not hesitate to let me know.
Sending you a long warm hug Susan.
Heather
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It's a beautiful day here. The weather is real mild and the sun peeks out every once in a while. I'm going to open my windows and let some fresh air in. I'll turn my heat off first LOL. I'm sitting here making a list of what I hope to do today. Silly things like fill the bird feeders, brush Charlie, water the plants in my greenhouse etc. It takes me a little longer to do these things but I'm happy that I can do it today. My sister is a RN and works for a woman that is a quadriplegic. When I start to feel sad I try and think of her and realize how lucky I am. I've had a wonderful life. I have two beyond fabulous children and grandson. I love my cute little tiny house house and my gardens filled with beautiful plants I love. I've had a wonderful career (albeight modest income) but doing what I love which is the landscape design. It has been so exciting designing and installing magnificent gardens ( if I do say so myself LOL) for my clients. Taking winters off to do my art. I feel so lucky to have met all of you wonderful women on this thread that have helped lift me up when I've been sad, laughed with me and shared hugs. I've been very lucky and I'm extremely grateful. The next time you hear any woe is
me please slap me! I don't want to waste anymore days or nights crying about my future when I know that today is probably going to be better than tomorrow. I'm opening my arms up to today with a big smile on my face. I hope you wonderful ladies have a great day too! Except you ladies on chemo concentrate on the tomorrows they will be better and you'll have these chemo days behind you.0 -
Suze LJ and MBJ, I too am praying that you find comfort in knowing how much your words of wisdom have helped all of us who are dealing with the same issues. Know that we are all praying for you but also look at things this way. You have been given a chance to tell your loved ones how you feel about them and what your dreams for them are. You get to tell them good bye. We could all walk out of our offices and homes today and be killed in a car accident and those people we leave behind would say "but I never got to tell her how much I loved her" "She didn't say good-bye." So embrace each day as the gift that it is because no one is guaranteed tomorrow. Hugs to you all.
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Laurajane- you have an exceptional attitude!! Enjoy your beautiful day!
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LJ....what a wonderful picture i have in my mind of your yard, with birds and wonderful flowers. i just fed my little winged friends and so enjoy watching them flit around. my tulips are already 2+ inches out of the ground and i cannot wait to watch them bloom (partly because i can't remember what colors i planted). meh, chemo brain strikes again!
in these moments it is hard not to look at the things we can no longer do and concentrate on the beauty that surrounds us each and every moment of each and every day. we just have to remember to open our eyes and look around. good for you for being able to do just that! you are a strong soul and i know that strength will carry you when your body no longer seems to be able to. make that list. i hope and pray that you have the strength to check each and every one of those "silly little things" off of it. love to you today and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow............!
as i stand at the edge, i'm reminded how fragile life can be.now if i can remember to look at the the beautiful view.
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