August 2010...anyone starting chemo besides me?!
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Happy Thanksgiving Ladies, I hope you all have an enjoyable holiday with you families. I will be going to my oldest daughter.
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Happy Thanksgiving back to you! I'll be resting and taking anti-nausea while DH and DD make the food. Thanks to everyone for all the support and friendship.
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Thanks Ginger - I'm hoping it won't be so bad this time, but right now I'm pretty sore. I had a good day- made the turkey, stuffing, a whole bunch of batches of cinnamon rolls (that smelled amazing baking), cranberry sauce and veggies. I was tired - I fell asleep a couple of times in between - just rested when I got tired. The kids loved it - we just had Thanksgiving dinner here tonight instead of tomorrow. The kids go to my bro's tomorrow - mom's taking them. Now we have left overs and tomorrow while they're at my brother's, it will give me a little break on the day that I usually feel most yucky after chemo.
But it's kicking in now - I'm very surprised. I thought all that sternum and rib pain when you rub against those bones and stuff was neulasta! But I'm having it without too. May as well have had the shot.... Oh well, one less toxin in my system anyway.
I just took an ativan and two motrin. I think I'm going to add another motrin onto it since I'm still achy and uncomfortable. I guess I psychologically thought I was "done" Monday....but you're not done 'til the SE's go away, are you..... Hm.
Ginger - I pray your SE's leave. I know some women have neuropathy for a while afterwards but that it gradually wanes and leaves. I think once your body starts to stabilize after all of this, your SE's will fade.
I can't tell if I'm getting hair yet - since I didn't lose all of mine, it's hard to see new growth. But it's gotta be there soon, right?? I hope! I always heard it starts to come back on Taxol! Meanwhile I'm ready to crazy glue what's left of my eyebrows in an attempt to keep them all from falling out! Will be interesting to see what this treatment does to them! =:O
Well, I'm going to bed- actually I'm there already. But hoping everyone has a good Thanksgiving. We have much to be thankful for, despite what we've been thru............
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Happy Thanksgiving Americans! And let me just say how thankful I am for all of you -- and of course, you, my Canadian friends too! I am also most thankful that my husband finally got back from Indianapolis last night! He didn't get home until after I was in bed already, but he was up when I woke up at 2:00 with a hot flash so I got to give him a big hug and say hello. We weren't sure he was going to be home for Thanksgiving, so this is really nice! He's been gone for almost two months, right smack in the middle of chemo, and even before he was gone, he was working such long hours, that he really hasn't been around for much of my treatment. It's been very hard that way. Lonely. And he hasn't been to doc appointments and stuff so isn't very informed, and I have to explain things to him, and it's tiring and hard not to feel bad about it. But hopefully that's all over for awhile (though chemo's over). Maybe he can kind of get caught up on things. I told him there's a book I wanted him to read about what it's like when cancer treatment ends and what you still have to go through, and what the challenges are in moving on. He said that sure he would read it. I hope he does. Anyway, didn't mean to spill like that. He is a wonderful, emotionally available and supportive person, and I don't resent any of this. It's just wonderful to have him back. And since we didn't know when he was going to be home, we didn't invite any guest or take any invitations for Thanksgiving dinner, so I made reservations at a favorite, very nice restaurant for us, and I think I like it better that way. It's been so long since we've been together for any length of time when he wasn't rushing around getting ready for work or worn out at the end of the day, that it will be fantastic to sit in a luxurious restaurant, eat delicious food, not be in a rush, no pressure, just talking!
I haven't been posting lately because, well, frankly I've been really manic lately and when I am, it's very hard for me to settle down and read and write. But I've been very productive. Yesterday, I was pretty sick, but still wired, so I spent hours making Christmas decorations for my house. I went to Hobby Lobby and just bought a bunch of stuff that I thought I could put together creatively, and made three different table center pieces, one for our dining room, and one each for our two living rooms, and they turned out so beautifully! I was kind of impressed with myself, actually. (Mania often brings with it more than usual creative thoughts and energy -- one of the few positives of living with bipolar disorder!). Anyway, it was fun.
Se-wise, I'm one week out of my last Tx, and not feeling well. All kinds of stuff, but I won't go into it -- we all know what the stuff is! Ginger, I too am having a lot of issues with neuropathy. My onc was very cautious, and I think a little unsure about doing my last Tx, but I opted for it anyway. But I am worried about it. My feet are an issue, but my hands are worse. While I was making decorations yesterday, one of them required me to make little knots with monofilament, and I had to use a needle threader and tweezers to do it, because my fingers were too numb to use them to make the knots. Also, I am a pianist, and I am VERY worried that I won't be able to play like before.
It's been interesting to witness how we have all gone through this process together, from worrying about losing hair, making treatment decisions, choosing doctors, to discovering side effects, feeling positive and optimistic about how well we were going to get through Tx's with our lives intact (like exercising), to finding out maybe it wasn't going to be that easy, to feeling down, frustrated, impatient with friends/family, enormously grateful for friends/family, to looking forward to things winding down or at least moving on to the next steps, to some of us reaching the end of chemo and having all kinds of mixed feelings about that, worries about and problems with radiation, getting ready for more surgeries, etc. How much we have been through together! And I don't know about y'all, but this experience wouldn't have (or wouldn't be) anywhere near as withstandable (is that a word?) without this group. Even my friends and family have come to rely on their own relief and appreciation that I have this group. They are always asking, "What do the women in your group say about that?" or "How are your chemosabes doing?" or "Have you talked to your group about this?" I think they know I get things from you all that I can't get from them. It has been a true gift, and I plan to continue being part of this group for as long as it stays together, and I hope that's a long time.
For those of you having a hard time or feeling sick, I hope you get a reprieve soon! For those of you who have reached the end of chemo, congratulations! It's a huge accomplishment, even if it is a little anti-climactic! For those of you having some good days, go for it and enjoy every minute! For everyone, big hugs and love from one woman who's very grateful today FOR YOU!
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Rachel, congrats on the last chemo. YEAH. Another step done.
Calamaty, so sorry for the side effects. I had my second taxol yesterday. My S/E have been numbness again in my big toes and some stomach issues and of course fatigue, but my Onc is giving me smaller doses to see about my wbc staying up through the Christmas season. If all goes well, he will be upping the dose gradually. My count yesterday was the best since A/C so I am thinking he is a smart man. I did not however get my zoom from steroids this time which I was hoping for. I did however discuss with Onc that if I wasnt doing well today, I would be taking a dex. He is looking at my 18 year old who came with me and saying well, I guess if you were feel nausea it wouldnt hurt to do it once...lol.
While at chemo, we sat with a young 18 year old girl, beautiful long black hair that has hodgkins and she was getting her first dose inclluding Adriamicyn (my office still has some) made me once again realize how thankful I am that it is me and not my kids. We made it fun for her and she pretty much laughed through treatment. We told her first one that fell asleep with the benedryl got a sharpee mustach.
Happy Thanksgiving all, and let's not have any major s/e today. And Adey, I am praying that yours goes away in time for dinner. Love Onward
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Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! I pray for a side effect free or minimal day for everyone. I give thanks for being alive, I give thanks for my family and friends, I give thanks for the job I have, I give thanks for my home and the food we have to eat, I give thanks to all of you for helping me through my journey. I am so blessed!
I haven't posted in a while but I have been reading (the kids make it hard to concentrate enough to write). I loved the idea of LISASINGLEM being on a billboard about breast cancer awareness. What beautiful pictures of such a strong woman! IOWASUE - Love your new picture too. Bald is beautiful!
So sorry to read about insurance issues...it is a shame to have those worries now. I hope some how, we can get this country to realize what is important. When CEOs are bringing home multimillion dollar bonuses, we have a problem. That is more money than most of us will see in a lifetime. How many people could be given a job for an entire year on that "bonus". It is not good enough to have companies making billions, they want to make trillions. Cut the headcount, stress everyone out, and make more profit so we can give the presidents, CEOs millions. Enough on that!
So happy to see people finishing up their chemo treatments. One week from today for me, with the exception of my herceptin. For those moving on to radiation, surgeries, or more chemo - be strong, you are survivors! So thankful to LIZZYMACK1 for starting this thread. It is wonderful to have such a great group of people to talk to, read your experiences, and know I am not alone.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!
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GOOD DAY CHEMOSABES AND RADICALS!!!!!!
********HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL OF YOU ********
This holiday might as well be sponsored by everything we are going through! We are all, of course, thankful we are knocking cancer out of our bodies and chemo, with it's SEs, makes us want to eat and rest!!!! A beautiful confluence of events! I get to watch the parade, football, cook and NAP (MY FAVORITE!)!!!!
I hope you all have a lovely day and remember, even though we are going through rough times with these txs, we are making progress toward a healthier, better life. For this we must be thankful.
GOOD DAY, GIRLS! I will check in later.....after my tryptophan FOG wears off!
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Happy Happy Thanksgiving to all of you, (and Rachel I"m including us in there as well!) I just spend the better part of 1/2 an hour reading up since YESTERDAY AFTERNOON (lordy are we a verbose group or what???)
Ginger- you're making the right decision. You know your body. Rachel- YAYAYAYYAAY you're done!! Cal- I know I was supposed to say something important to you too, but it's gone the way of the do-do bird. I'll get back to you on that one.
Nails- mine hurt too. And my cuticles are all torn up and painful.
Eyebrows and the loss of them- I didn't lose my eyelashes or eyebrows until 2 weeks after chemo was over. They are know growing back in. But they look as if I shaved them off and they're growing in willy nilly. They have no inate fashion sense themselves. I will have to help them out soon.
Tamoxifin will be my next angsty post. Today I'm staying happy if it kills me.
Why I love you guys- Anyway, just wanted to say this on Thanksgiving (as I recall I meant to say it on our Canadian one, but was too sick). Thank you to each and every one of you. Other than my husband you're the only ones who've heard each and every dark moment, teary tirade and over-the-top waaaay too much information question from me. You're the ones I went to at 2am when I couldn't sleep, and you're the ones I thought of each week when I was receiving treatments or I knew you were. I know we're all far apart and never would've come together in any other way than through this crappy, crappy disease- but I am truly thankful to whatever force put Lizzy up to sending out her request and those of you that jumped along for the ride. XOXO Sweeney.
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Today on Thanksgiving I too give thanks for you guys, my friends here on BCO! I don't think any of you will ever really understand what it has meant to have you guys right here on this board whenever I needed support or just to vent. As a single mom, I don't have anyone to confide exactly how I feel and what is happening to me as I go through this. My friends have been wonderful, but I can't really tell them the truth because sometimes it is gross or just too depressing. And I always have to put on a brave face with my kids so they don't worry. Most of my family lives out of state, and again I don't want to worry them.
So, you guys have been my livesaver. I always knew I could come on here and tell the truth, and not only did you guys understand exactly what I was saying, but you also didn't freak out because you knew exactly how I felt. Thank you guys all so much for being there for me....you and BCO have been a lifesaver through this whole thing!!
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone (even our friends up North)!!!! May God bless everyone with a minimal side effect day!
Debbi
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sptmm62 Hi sp I notice our diagnoses are similar 'cept I am her2 positive. Since I had chemo first I won't know the exact stage/grade until surgery. I keep bugging the oncologist about this. I know I had at least one positive lymph node because of the biopsy. I hope its the only one.
When friends say "how are you feeling" they are opening the door. I have no problem saying "fine except for the hemorroids that are KILLIN.G ME. Gross, I think not,evil maybe just a tad. I just think men as a rule don't get it, no matter how nice they are. Right now I am hot/cold and talking because of the demethasone prior to tomorrows chemo. Hubby just doesn't understand. He doesn't get how the little green pills make you want to clean, create and etc.Have a good holiday. Send good mojo my way that white count is acceptable for last TCH tomorrow. Beth0 -
Aawwww Debbi- now I'm bawling. That's it. I'll have to eat some chocolate now....XO
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Well said Debbi, Wherria, Sweeney, Cal and others. You ladies "get it" like no others, and I don't know how I would have made it through treatment without your experiences, encouragement, understanding and support. I do have a lot to be grateful for this year and high on that list are my August chemo buddies.
We're done eating and my husband just left to go on a weekend hunting trip with his brother. I'm so glad he is getting away. He was hesitant about leaving, but he really needs a break from all this. And, frankly, I can use the next 3 days to wind down totally also without having to think about dinner at night or anything else. So I'm looking forward to it also.
Love ya'll.
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I just wanted to wish everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving. I am very grateful for this space to come and spill all the things that my friends or my husband or my family would freak out to hear. Thank you to Lizzy for starting the forum.
I'm grateful for my life, this year, for my health and for the fact that I am finished with the chemo. Onto better days ahead.
DH is in Canada this week, so doesn't have the day off, but I'm having dinner out with his mother, which should be fun. My best wishes to everyone for a happy and healthy Thanksgiving!
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I'm so thankful for you guys too! I don't know how I could be doing this otherwise. I think about my grandmother -diagnosed in 1978 and died in 1981 of mets.
Now, for the first time EVER in my life, I found myself thinking about what it was like for her - to endure this alone. THey had just moved to Florida to retire- leaving behind their whole family in the Northeast. I often wonder how she got through it - the internet has been a lifeline for me. Really. I mean yes, I have friends here but Facebook and email have been a Godsend for just communicating with them when I needed it. But this board HERE is like no place else. You guys understand it all - the aches, pains, the overall crankiness, the frustration and the fear. Thank you all so much! It's been a long day. Mom brought the kids home after they ate dinner at my brother's and now I'm just looking forward to getting them to bed. That sounds awful, but I just want to curl up with an ativan and a couple of Motrin and rest. I'm having those taxol stabbing pains in my legs, back, groin and sides. UGH! I'm so tired.... I'm ovewhelmed thinking about Christmas - I don't know what to get the kids - usually I'm about done with shopping now. I know I'm in a brain fog from the chemo and that has always gotten better by the weekend....but right now it's just "here".
Hoping everyone had a good day! It's been rainy and freezing here, but the pellet stove is cranking hot and I'm next to it......things are good, in spite of it all.
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Good evening chemosabes and radicals-
In starting this thread I just wanted to make some friends who were going through exactly what I am and those I could identify with. It has grown into so much more and every time I had a scary SE or some other weird, sometimes gratuitous explaination of (!), issue, you all understood. I totally appreciate the support we give each other every day and thank you all for being so good to each other and for giving such support. This is an excellent experience and like no other. For this I am very thankful today and every day.
I had a lovely Thanksgiving with a small gathering and a nice, pleasant meal. Now I am debating going to Walmart at 5AM! I don't think I can do it but I am considering....! Famous last words! GIRLS....should I do it?! I am afraid! You know how you always see those fights etc... and I have NEVER been out on Black Friday BUT they do have $450 notebooks for $200! What to do!??!?!?
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Oooooooh, so cooool! DO IT LIZZY! And then report back, we'll all live vicariously through you!:)
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greetings from infusion land. off and running on my last tch. white count was good. ready to join the ranks with Lisa and move on to Herceptin only. Beth
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Good morning chemosabes and radicals!
A tale of 2 Black Friday shoppers: my very best friend went to Walmart (did not know she was going) and I went to Best Buy. I got NOTHING but a headache and left early! My friend said Walmart was very organized and she got her 32" flat panel! Also, I went to a mall location for Best Buy and instead of letting the line form inside the mall, they made everyone wait OUTSIDE in the rain. My friend was cozy, tucked inside the nice, warm, organized Walmart. I NEVER went out on Black Friday in my life and NEVER will again. Oh, another Best Buy ruse: the tv advertisements were NO WHERE TO BE FOUND and instead this store had it own sales which were not what I was there for. Best Buy sucks! If I was to ever consider doing this again, and because I live in the Northeast where we are literally tripping over Walmarts (there are 4 within 15 minutes of my house in all directions!), I would go there. I was really disappointed in Best Buy especially because they made everyone wait in the rain instead of inside the warm, already opened, mall. Ugh....glad I left early anyway as I was starting to not feel well. Came home and took a Cipro and just woke up!
Libraylil: thanks for checking in from infusion land and isn't it wonderful that you are bidding part of this process goodbye?! I am very happy for you.
Adey: where are you?! Hiding in the sludge?! Come out, come out wherever you are!
Petco: My cat's gift just arrived via fedex! I am going to put together her perch and wait for the cable co to come and install a new box for me. Good day to all of you and your TRYPTOPHAN HANGOVERS!!!
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I forgot the most important part of trying to go out this morning===CHEMO and feeling WINDED! I was totally out of shape to do this. It was the most silly mistake I have made in a long time. I don't know what I was thinking. With everyone scampering about, I was reminded I was not in shape for this madness. Plus all those flus and colds....it was such a ridiculous and stupid idea for me to attempt this. Chemobrain...no, just stupid!0
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Libraylil - congratulations. It is good to be on the other side. Glad you'll be joining us!
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Librarylil - I didn't realize before that you were doing neoadjuvant chemo - that is so fantastic what a great response you got to the TCH. Congrats on your last chemo!!!0
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Happy belated Thanksgiving everyone. I too am so thankful for all of you and this discussion board.
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Ah Sweeny, you stated everything that I'm feeling today and more. Without this forum there was no place else to go when the darkness took over and the burden was too much to lay on family and friends. I'm done with chemo as of this last Wed. and figured that Thanksgiving would be extra special because of making it through this lovely phase of treatment and it was, but my DH was struck down with stomach flu or food poisoning early in the morning and I was on my own to go to son's house to celebrate. Now I realize that feelings of slight irritation over my DH's illness is so incredibly selfish that I almost can't stand myself and I don't think I showed any of that irritation to anyone but you ladies so only you and I know what a biotch I truly am. Today we are all better and I put my certificate with a purple heart on it that I got from my Oncologist up on the bookshelf to admire for awhile. Next up radiation Onco appt. on Dec. 2, I'll keep you all posted and we can compare notes. Just a fashion note, Tilly's has some really cute hats at good prices and I know it's a teen oriented chain but hats are hats. Enjoy those leftovers.
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Lizzy! I'm sorry I didn't see your post to warn you. Walmart is not for the faint of heart on Black Friday. AND they only have like three of the really good doorbuster items per store, the chances of getting it are very small. Same with Best Buy! It's not even FAIR that they advertise them - what good are three notebooks going to do a crowd of 1000 people??! I heard that people were killed this year, but I haven't heard details. I remember 2 years a guy got shot in the parking lot over a Play Station III. It's unreal. Then last year a walmart employee was trampled at the front door.
Walmart sucks online for BF too - I was doing my shopping online and had a shopping cart with several pieces of clothing in it. I went to check out and got the message 'there is a slight problem with your order". The items became out of stock while i was checking out and they sucked them right out of my cart. They should give you a grace period of five minutes or something like Amazon does with their lightening deals! I was so annoyed I just shut it down and went back to bed.
I know some people got some great deals on TV's this year, but gotta wonder if it's all worth the aggravation.
I did snag some great deals on Old Navy at midnight - leggings for $5 - how can you go wrong?? And none of them went out of stock as I checked out. And free shipping. I heard the Old Navy stores were mobbed so I'm glad I avoided all that.
Last year I got some steals from walmart.com but this year really turned me off to walmart.
Not feeling so great today - everything hurts - stabbing pains where my kidneys are and I'm scared about that. I can't even muster the energy to go walk outside but I think i'd better try because I can't feel much worse.......
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I too am thankful for each of you wonderful ladies!!!!! I find it amazing how each ones personality comes through in these discussions. Each one having something wonderful to offer, thanks for all the advice.
I am just now getting numbness in my fingers and toes, I don't like this feeling. I even think my face has numbness. Do I wait til next Thur. to tell my onc?
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I waited but mine didn't and still hasn't been as bad as that. Mostly my left heel. I started taking 500mg of Acetyl-L-Carnitine this round and I found that it didn't get worse but the heel thing is back. I also had burning on my feel last time and so far that hasn't happened either.
BTW I read about Acetyl-L-Carnlitine here
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IowaSue - Didn't you just have your 6th TCH last week? Is this the first time you have had numbness? I have been having it since I started with the TCH. Mine comes on after treatment, builds to a peak and then subsides before the next treatment, each time leaving a little larger area numb. Feet, ankles, fingers. Now the numbness extends up my legs to my knees but gets better. I also have some on one side of my face. Most likely what you are experiencing will go away. I take L-glutamine powder and vitamins B6 and E (approved by onc office). I would suggest that you call the onc office and tell them about it just in case they want to have you take anything.
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I def am not a Black Friday shopper- Like Lizzy i did it once but will never do it again!
We are buying a WII with 12 games and 13 gamecube games (apparently those play on the wii) and A ton of those things that go on your remote to make them other things (like a steering wheel) for a really good deal. I shop craigslist like nobodys business LOL
Might be a little used but once we play them they're used anyhow.....
Well happy belated thanksgiving, i ditto everything y'all said! Brought tears of happiness to my eyes to read wonderful things about everyone cuz i feel the same way too. This would have been HELL if i went through it solo!
Iowa- like Omaz mine builds up then fades away- still mention it to the Dr
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Onemonga: you and the word "biotch" used in the same sentence? I never, ever, ever got that impression at all. We are all a little cranky here and there but we are all going through probably the worst thing in our lives we will ever have to (God willing!). I think you are lovely and always enjoy your posts. In fact, I think you are very caring and seem to swoop in and pick us up just when it is needed most I think you have yourself pegged wrong!
Calamtykel: I had you in mind when I posted my plans. I kind of felt you, because of your kids, would definitely have had some BF experience. What a disappointment. I arrived at 5AM so I never had to wait in the rain but I thought that was rude. I was only outside for like 10 minutes. That really stinks that they sucked everything out of your cart. I have heard that happening to people. I was pretty disappointed by the experience but, to be honest, since 9/11 I don't do well in crowds. I always blame that when I get nervous in crowds. My friend and I finally left because I got the impression I was the victim of capitalistic ruse AND the guy in front of me stunk of BO! I have no idea what I was thinking anyway...cold and flu season....I need to have my head checked!
Texas: I am on Craigslist all the time! I buy and sell on Craigs. I buy a lot of used, cheap model cell phones because I am forever finding have a line that needs a phone. I buy these cheap, joker base models and just toss them in a draw. I know I will need them some day and I always buy the basic ones so I don't need to have data! You are absolutely correct about the games in that once you use them they are used anyway so you may as well save a lot of money and buy used. In fact, games are one thing I don't think I would ever buy knew unless I really wanted it and could not find it used only because you play them, beat them and then you are on to the next one! A good thing to buy used.
Well, I am very lucky that with rest and cipro today I did not get sick from venturing into that madness this morning. Only 11 days to #5.....can't wait for 6!!!!!!!!
Numbness: OmazI still think calling the oncs regarding numbness is imperative. Even though we all know it could be neuropathy, we don't want to become complacent when numbness could be totally unrelated to chemo. I think you should definitely call. Just to be safe. Surely they can't dx you over the phone but it is a good idea to seek professional input and reassurance.
Have a good night....I am watching "The Elf" for the 20th time!!!!!!! No matter how many times I watch it, when Will Ferrell screams "Santa" when he is told Santa is coming to Gimbel's the following day NEVER gets old and I always find it hysterical!!!! Oh sadness!
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Hi Lizzy - I was responding to IowaSue because I think she is having new numbness this last treatment and also suggesting she call the onc office. My doc is very familiar with my numbness since I have been complaining about it since tx 1!0
