Ladies in their 30s
Comments
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Alyad- thanks I will diffenetly ask is weird at first he said taxol then he switched me to taxorene, not to crazy about the risk about losing my hair permentatly even if is a little or having allegic reactions. So I'll see what he says.
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Wow can't believe u did them all at once must have been tough! U r amazing!
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LOL. I didn't know any better..My onc said you can do 6 round of TAC or 4 rounds of AC + 4 rounds of T. I asked if there were any differences in SE's and HE SAID NO??!!! I believed him. I figured it was better to get it over with sooner...
I think somewhere I might have read that doing TAC is slightly better than AC + T- well I don't really know that- I just saw TAC described as 3rd generation chemo vs 2nd. TAC kicked my ass. I took about a week off work after each one and now in hindsight, I wish I'd just taken short term disability for 6 months.
There is a study compared TAC vs just TC- there is research showing the A may be extraneous and that the only people it really helped were HER+ people and now they have herceptin instead , plus someone HER+ doesn't even get A- they get Taxotere, Carboplatin and Herceptin.
I think taking all 3 at once was brutal, esp since I had mx with Free TRAM recon 5 weeks prior. Fwiw, they seem to think us young women can hack it a little easier than older women. But I feel like its taken me that much longer to get over everything. Esp since I did 25 rounds of IMRT rads after chemo, getting my skin,axial nodes and mammary nodes zapped. I was so fried my skin turned black. maybe I am a badass. I ended up getting laid off my job a few months after finishing rads and I feel like I have kind of taken all this time as substitute for not taking time off during treatment. I felt beaten down. But I am feeling better, starting a new job in a few weeks that I think I will really like.
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Wow Alyad- u really are amazing, I don't think I could have done it. I stopped working, I was a mess I remember I went in even before they told me it was cancer I think I knew it, just started crying and came home. So I decided I would not be able to work, financially this disease really sucks and we dont ask to get it, EI in Canada only pays 3 months the is disability but can take upmto 4 months I just applied I'm hoping they will accept me, congrats with the new job!! I hope everything goes well!!!
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The job is a temp job- 3 weeks of good work- hopefully turning into a full time job if they get more contracts.
I got called the day after my biopsy by my PCP asking me if I could come in that same day tho I had an appt with her two days later to get the results. I left work to go there- wish I called dh to come with me, he was home from work that rainy day. But it happened so fast. I had taken a long lunch to sign papers refinancing my house, went back to work and got the message to call my PCP. After I saw her, I remember just sitting out in my car in the parking lot thinking- should I go back to work? uh noooo. Didn't want to tell DH on the phone so I just drove home and took the rest of the day off. 2 years later I still can't believe I had cancer at 35. WTH!
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Alyad- it was the same with me my family doc wanted me to see her for a 30 min appointment that's how I knew the news were not good usually is a 15 min one, but she wanted me to come the next day, she works in a walk in so I ask if someone else could give me the results I had waited 10 days didn't want to wait longer and deep inside I knew I guess the lymph node gave it away for me, so here at 31 I'm battling breast cancer there are days I can't believe it and seems a dream so unreal, but then I tell myself I'll be able to tell I survived breast cancer - God willing
Both of us are soo young, do u have any kids? I don't.....but I did just get my first niece. I'm so happy it will be the closest to a daughter.0 -
Coni, I don't have any kids. DH and I had made the decision not to have any way before bc was ever in the picture. We had planned on him getting snipped in 09 anyway, but it got moved up a little cause I had to go off the pill. I really like to go on long distance hiking trips, travel a lot and I would have to put all that hold for 20 years if I had kids. And I am really not all that crazy about children in general. We have 3 cats- our fuzzy kids- pretty easy to find a home for them for a few months when manage to go off and go hiking.
We had planned a 6 month hike of the Appalachian Trail in 09- that was postponed bc of the cancer to this year- my getting laid off a year ago actually worked out nicely as I was planning to quit a few months later anyway to go hiking. We hiked 900 miles/4 months this year- pretty cool- but not the 2200 miles/6-7 months we had hoped for- I struggled a lot- had to hike slower, take more breaks, shorter days, not going fast enough to make it.
My best friend is 5 months pregnant right now tho and I am really looking forward to being in that child's life- she is like a sister- a friend I know I will know my whole life- even tho she is currently living far away going to school. So that child will be my nephew. (its a boy!)
I feel thankful I already had that no kids decision made- rather than perhaps having it made for me by cancer treatment. I have a friend in town who was dx at 35 too- very similar- only married 6 months- but she was Stage IV at the start- mets in her bones- if she got pregnant the hormones would make her mets go crazy- and she has her ovaries shut down and takes an AI- she really wanted kids. But she's still stable 6 years after dx.
Lots of women go on to have kids after treatment - you are still young enough if you want them. I've heard sometimes an onc will suggest 2 years of Tamoxifen then you go off to get pregnant and have a kid then go back on Tamoxifen. Or some women who really want one- just say to hell with it. I'm not sure the extra few % of protection Tamoxifen gives you is worth all the SE's. I went off it after 6 months, but I may or may not go back on. I'm not sure.
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Aylad-we r I'm the same boat,my hubby and I did try two years through infertility treatments but ended in miscarriages and ecptopic pregnancy so we decided that maybe is nit meant for us to have kids, also my cancer is hormonal and I don't think I want to risk nor go through all this again. My niece will receive all my love that I would have given. I have been married for almost 9yrs so I guess we are use to just being the two of us I too have my furry kids three dogs who I love to death and feel so bad that I can't take them for long walks like I use to but this summer God willing I'll start again. They are a husky, golden and a lab retriever.Is so weird how cancer changes ur life and perspectives.0
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Coni, well that is hard that you have tried to have kids and had problems- but at least if you can't have children you know its not bc of bc. Plently of people are child free by choice, our soceity sometimes seems like it tries to make us feel left out somehow. We still get the- so when are you guys having kids? occasionally - more by people who don't know us well- fortunately no real pressure from family- my mom would love to be a grandma, but I've made it known she's SOL on that one.
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Alyad-tell me about it, my in laws and parents know. That we came to conclusion that no more kids, they say that they r ok with that, I know they would want to have grankids, however my dh has four more siblings so I'm sure one is bound to have some and sis just had one and still have a brother. But I still sometimes get the so why aren't u having kids, or why are u taking forever, why are u guys so lazy,just really gets to me. Ummmmm its been 9 yes almost if it hasn't happened pretty sure it won't. But I agree society does make us feel left out if u don't have kids, but now a days having kids it's really tough I find, is not the same when we were growing up times are getting worst and worst. I always tell myself there must be a reason for not having any. Don't get me wrong I always wanted to have a big family, but if God didn't provide me with one cant go against him.
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Hello!
I was diagnosed at 27, but am 31 now.
I am married, to a WONDERFUL man, as of 4/11/09. We don't -- and can't -- have kids (we are at peace with this). We do have a Yorkie, though.
Nice to meet others in their 30's!
Tamara
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Welcome Tamara!!
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Welcome Tamara!
I personally do not want kids and the bc had nothing to do with the decision not to have them. I kind of feel like people who have kids just seem to think that everyone should have the experience- every once in awhile I feel perhaps I am missing out on something, but honestly I find kids as a whole annoying (but I like certain individual children of friends) and I find people who think kids are just the cutest thing in the world brainwashed or something. A couple times I've seen adult talent shows that kids entered and then a kid of average talent won just cause "they were so cute!"
I love my 3 cats and I have freedom to sleep in, take vacations, and my house is quiet!
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Hello Alyad:
you wrote: "I kind of feel like people who have kids just seem to think that everyone should have the experience"
I totally agree !
I do not want children (nor does my husband), especially after having BC, but one of my best friends does not believe me when I tell her I do not want them!!! That same friend was scared to tell me she was pregnant, maybe thinking it is unfair that some people get pregnant while others get cancer, but I hated the "pity" look that said "poor her, because of BC she cannot have kids".
Why can't they understand not everyone want them ?!?!
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Hi Ladies, welcome tamara!
I had a routine check-up with my Oncologist yesterday. Im almost a year out of treatment and all going great to date! Im on tamoxifen. My oncologist told me that I could come off tamoxifen whenever I wanted to become pregnant. When I asked about the fact that I was ER and PR positive and ?risk of recurrence with hormonal surges, he stated that studies show no increased rate of recurrence in women who are hormone positive and pregnancy. He stated I can become pregnant as many times as I like....! Well, Im 30, and just newly engaged, so I dont plan to have children any time soon, but do see them as part of my future, maybe in the next 3 - 4 years, all going well.
I completely understand that having children is a completely personal choice and not everyone wants them. My best friend (who was never diagnosed with cancer) does not want children ever.
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Hey ladies! I will be starting with taxotere and wanted to know if anyone can share with me their experience and side effects I want to ask my onc about the SE... And be prepared with meds to fight the SE,i don't want it to surprise me, I've heard, of water retention, nails, and how many had hair regrowth?Thanks0
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Coni - I did 4 rounds of Taxotere/Cytoxan. My side effects were mild - however the nurses had to do the infusion of Taxotere really slow with me. The first time they ran it too fast and I turned beet red. For side effects to combat neuropathy I took L- Glutamine in powder form on the day of infusions and a few days later. I did a lot of walking and tried to eat well so I did not get water retention. My nails were fine - and I did not ice them. I did wear a clear coat nail polish on my fingers and colored polish on my toes, not sure if that helped. I finished 9/27 and my hair is growing back and I am no longer wearing a wig.
I had no nausea or vomiting thanks to Emend and Reglan. The yucky part of chemo for me was the Neulasta shot to stimulate my white count. That gave me bone pain the first time. I told my Onc and he told me to take Claritin the day of and a few days after and that helped a lot!
Good luck - I had a relatively good experience with chemo.
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Coni, I did 6 rounds of TAC. I can't say for certain what T's SE's were for me- altho I did have the same reaction as in-cognito- my face went red, blood pressure spiked bc I was having an allergic reaction to the T. I was given benedryl before anything else on later rounds and I didn't react again.
Allergic reactions to T are really common and they should be monitoring you closely the first time you get it. I got all my hair back about 7-8 weeks after last round. I never had any issues with neuropathy for nail problems. My nails are maybe a little more brittle and somewhat ridged vertically- but they were like that before- maybe just a little more pronounced after. Mouth issues were my main SE- I learned to be very careful about what I ate- nothing acidic, spicy or abrasive. I took Emend and Zofran, never vomited but was very dizzy. I used cannabis and that worked better than anything else they gave me. I never had any problems with the neulasta shot.
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I have a question for you ladies with young kids. My 3 yr old started throwing up tonight. I am suppose to have chemo on thurs. What do you do when your child is sick and you are trying to keep your counts up for chemo? How do you care for them? I can't just stop being a mom because I have cancer. UGH.
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Hi Karebear! My kids were 5 & 7 when I was going through chemo, but luckily they had nothing more than a little cold during that time. The puking is the worst! I'm so sorry she's sick! My only suggestion would be LOTS of handwashing and Lysol (which I would do anyway, chemo or not!)
Crossing my fingers that it stays away from you!
Good luck and I hope she feels better soon!
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Thanks alyad and in_cognito for sharing tomorrow I meet with oncologist and writing a list of questions and concerns I have. Next Friday is the beginning of my second half of chemo getting closer to the end of my chemo! And moving to surgery and then radiation!! And this chapter God willing will be "closed" although I don't think life will be the same after this experience atleast not for me.
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I got a call on my 37th birthday that I will need to have a biopsy on my left breast.
My baby sister was diagnosed earlier this year, at the age of 32. I am done with having kids, but my heart breaks for my sister who was planning to get pregnant with her second one this year. Our mom passed away this year and my sister didn't want to get pregnant while mom was ill, thinking that there will be plenty of time for babies when mom gets better.
In hindsight, its probably better she didn't get pregnant but it still breaks my heart thinking about it.
Karebear, hope your little one gets better soon. I wonder about that myself, my younger one is going through some stomach flu and I am only a week into recovery from BLMX. No flu shots this year for any of us, maybe we should have...
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how many of you chose to have your other breast removed prophylactically, esp if there is no breast cancer in the family
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Count me in. I had a BMX, but only cancer in one breast.
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tough- they didnt give me the option. when i asked my onc, she said dont bother doing it.
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another question to the ladies, if you have had a masectomy 1st, then chemo, and now rads, how will u know if your chemo worked? what if it didnt and you had an aggressive cancer, and its spreading........am I worrying for no reason? what do most ppl do
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Redinrah,
I originally had a lumpectomy (didn't know it was cancer until after it was out). It was so high up on my chest near my collar bone, and BS wasn't even sure it was breast tissue. After lumpectomy we learned it was IDC, had MRI and discovered 4cm DCIS, plus a few other smaller IDC and DCIS tumors (all in left breast), so a MX was my only option, along w/ doing chemo after MX, since original IDC tumor had already been removed.
I am assuming chemo worked, but since it was done after everything was removed, I won't really know unless I stay cancer free. Do you have a specific reason to worry?
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I chose a BMX after doing a lumpectomy and chemo. I have family history of post-menopausal BC - I am pre-menopausal. My Onc, PCP and ObGyn were fully supportive and felt it was probably more aggressive than the chemo and tamoxifen. They said since I've already had BC, I was at a higher chance of a new primary in the other side. I didn't want to do surveillance on the other side (mammos) for the rest of my life. Sure, there is a chance it could come back in the tissue that was left behind, but I have a positive outlook.
As for your other question, I think the only way we will know if chemo ever truly worked for us is when we die of something else. For many that do chemo before the surgery, they can see their tumor shrinking after chemo.
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I'm struggling with this too...I feel that I should have bmx but my oncon doesn't really agree..but she said it was ultimately up to me... I'm doing chemo first,surgery then rads...I'm already seeing a response to chemo started at2.5 cm to the size of 2 bb's. I still feel that the worry that it coming back in my right side will be to much. Anyone else feeling this way ? Plus I want to be symetical. Silly to worry about but I've started thinly about it...I really love coming here to air out my feelings and see in other young ladies have these same worries and its not just me
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Symmetry was important to me, too. I didn't want to try to "match" the implant w/ the good side, so BMX was for me.
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