Ladies in their 30s
Comments
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MHP70 - I wish you not to face again with such a hard disease!
I also think that stress is not the friend of our immune system. I want to change in that way as well. No working at night any more and have more relax and pay more attention to myself
maybe the most important factor is in our genes, which we can't change 
The next 2 days I'll visit 2 oncologists (I have already visited 2-3), I will decide this weekend who will be the perfect for me - I hope I will find one of them good
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Hi Ladies;
Just joining and wanted to say hi! I am 37 and was recently diagnosed with Stage IIa breast cancer. I have had 3 grueling surgeries and started my first round of TC x 4 2 weeks ago. Second treatment next week! I am so very sad as my hair is falling out and I am just devastated
I had my boyfriend chop it off today to my chin and feel soooooo much better! I have an appt at my wig place to get it shaved on Mon but am so NOT ready for it Anyone else on TC? Hope you all are filled with strength and positive energy! Mary
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Hello ladies,
I'm 32, married, with a 7 year year old daughter and 2 two year old son. I was diagnosed with IDC 1/6/11, had bmx 2/9/11 and awaitng pathology reports .
I found a lump in 2009, approx. 7months after the birth of my son and went to my gyno. She told me it was just the milk from breast feeding. The lump was still there at the end of 2009 but then I got pregnant again. Gyno said it was due to breast feeding and pregnancy. I lost the baby at 23 weeks gestation and forgot about the lump. Fast forward to thanksgiving 2010 and I thought the hard lumpy thing got bigger - I could see it. It was at the 11 o'clock position on my left breast and being a size 32AA it was noticeable. I called my gyno again and she suggested I go for an ultrasound. It came back as suspicious and so on the advice of a dear friend went to Memorial Sloane Kettering Cancer Center for my biopsy. So here I am. I opted for a bmx because I had dense breast tissue and very small breasts. Then an MRI found suspicious spots on my right side but I couldn't have an MRI assisted biopsy because my breast was too small...so I opted to just take it all off...I was in some sort of denial until I woke up from my surgery and had a panic attack.
Next step is waiting for the path. report, my BS said there was some lymph node involvement but didn't tell me how many. I'm terrified of chemo, terrified that I will not get enough support to take care of my kids (husband is in some sort of shock and is working non stop and going to the gym constantly). My next concern now is whether I should ask my husband to go to the doc appt with me or if it's better to just go alone. My mom offered to go but I need her to stay with the kids.
This board has been very informative and supportive, thank you everyone for sharing your story and advice. It helps a lot to browse here when I can't get to sleep.
Kim
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Hi Kim ,sorry u r going through all this, but in this board u will a lot of information. Like you I was terrified of chemo and to be honest I have done 6/8 cycles and still get nervous though I know i will be ok, I know the word chemo is hard to gasp but is something you can do it...u will find the strength. As for your husband my advice would be to take him with you, there a lot of meds u need to take and atleast for I would forget my husband was incharge of reminding me what I had go take. Also u don't feel so alone, I find it's hard enough having cancer but at our age is even harder not too many ppl our age at hospitals at least not where I go. I was diagnosed at 31 last yr, never ever Dreamnt that at my age I would be going through this, I kept getting fibroids, like u dense breast, I had just taken a fibroid out the yr before and it was all clear then literraly a yr later they tell me I have cancer with lymph nodes, I did chemo first and surgery is in April. My breast are also very small 32a, but I was able to do MRI and mammogram.
Don't worry too much about chemo you will be fine, for every SE they have meds don't know how good that is, I did ac and now taxotere I think for ac worst was 1St u don't know what to expect had bad thrush and sores in mouth then after they were not bad gave me meds for that and more, u feel tired a bit nauseous but again u gets meds.... Taxotere the same first was hard again mouth issues now I just got second one on Friday hoping to just fly through them all...
Good luck and know u r not alone, u will be in my prayers.0 -
Coni, thank you so much for your encouraging words. It really really really helps. I just get so terrified of any medication.. I went through 4 labours without any painkillers, I over analyze taking advil and just work myself up so that I can't even swallow pills. I hope the pills they give are not too big or difficult to swallow. I was already faitgued and nauseous even before I was diagnosed with cancer, I hope it won't make it worse. Of course, I'm supposed to be sleeping now but here I am, stressing about my apt tomorrow...
Thank you.
kim
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Dear Kim,
I will take chemo only after the next surgery, but I'm also frightened a little bit. My husband is my greatest support, and I know, that the meetings with different doctors and visiting hospitals together is not only good for me. It's good not to be alone and to talk to him before and after it, to hold each other's hand. It's maybe more important for him to know much more about your disease, about how you may feel. He will feel nearly the same, if he sit in front of a doctor, who speaks about your cancer, your therapy. Maybe he needs this to know how he can help you. Because he must help you and he will I'm sure! If you go together you will feel, that you fight together! If he gets the same informations as you, he can help making a decision if it's needed (I always need it).
I hope my opinion doesn't hurt you! I feel this way, it's important for me, that we're together in this trouble, and we solve this together. Somebody wants to do it alone, but it is much harder way I think. And in our case my parents and my mother-in-law help with the kids, and my husbad can be with me. Maybe you should talk about it with your husband, what he thinks he can do.
best wishes to you!
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Kim, I know exactly how u feel, I'm terrified of needles so I use emla patches, as for pills they r not big, talk to ur onc they can give ya meds through iv too I have a piccline, so the only needle I get is neaulasta and I use the patch so barely feel anything ....but I know just how u feel I'm freaking out about rads I haven't even finished chemo or have had surgery so believe me I know....but don't worry u will be fine...
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Thank you ladies. I do want my husband there, but I feel that he doesn't want to be. He told me a few days before my BMX that he might be out of town during the surgery, It took me crying hysterically to get him to ask his work to change his schedule. He has not told a single person about my condition. His family doesn't know. He feels since they are in France and can't help they don't need to know. My family knows, but support is limited because my parents are also not well themselves, my sister is mentally unstable and the two people who wants and are willing to help have full time jobs and school and new babies. I want him to be with me for this apt but I'm unwilling to cry to get him to go. I'm too tired. He has a full time job and then he goes to the gym to destress, that is his schedule and I have not been able to change that in the past 10 years. When I was recovering in the hospital, he went to work, to the gym and then came to see me for 2 hours. I am a bit hurt over it. When our son was in NICU I went alone to see him every single day. Although my husband did come with me when he died. I don't know. I don't want to go alone, I will ask him to meet me at the doc office since that is a compromise. I would love for him to come get me since I have to take the subway here in NYC, but I will take it if he says he will meet me at the doc since it is close to his work. Other than that I have lots of support from my work and extended family members. I am stressing about getting sick during chemo who will watch my kids??? My husband works from 7 to 8pm, gym for an hour and gets home around 10. My whole family is in Philadelphia. I do have a sitter that I use but she is rather expensive long term. I guess I will do what I can. The only other alternative is to send my kids away to France or Philly but that would break my heart. And I would still be alone all day.
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Kim really breaks my heart that u r going through all this, specially if u feel alone...I know sometimes men react different, and sometimes tend to drawback, they don't seem to be as strong as we are. I would sit with him and tell him that I need him, cancer is not a simple cold, u will have ur days when u won't have energy to do anything and feel tired Is time to take care of u...I would be like how would u like it, if the table was turned if he was the one with cancer, would he like u to go to the gym, I think sometimes man are just soo selfish hang in there I'm sure he will come around
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I am 34 yrs old. I was diagnosed at 32 with Stage IV. I am married with 2 kids age 5 & 7. I am currently in a trial getting TDM1. I had a PET Scan last week and got a call today from the doctor with good news. The cancer is responding well to treatment.
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Kim, I'm terribly sorry about your husband and situation. It is really hard
I 'd do the same, that Coni adviced you. I think I would use very hard words, like - I need your help to fight against cancer. If cancer wins I'll die. I would do anything for you if you were ill, or you were in trouble. He just cannot act like if this hadn't happened. it's so unfair from him!
That means you haven't told it to your children yet? I wouldn't take them away from home. you would do anything, that your husband could live his own life, that he lived before. you really love him... He loves you as well I'm sure, but he is just a man... Your husband will help, or you will find a solution together!
and this board is always here for you!
(((( hugs ))))
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Ready2win yay so happy for u that cancer is responding! That's great news!
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Kim: (((HUGS))) I agree with what the other ladies have said. We are here for you!!
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Hi ladies, my first time, a "Virgin" if you like!!! Wow I'm in tears reading these posts but yet full of such real hope it's mental!
I'm 32 and was diagnosed Dec 7th 2010, I have a 6 year old daughter and completed fertility treatment last week and they were able to freeze 7 embryos!!!!!!! which I was delighted about. I start my Chemo next Wednesday and I'm terrified if it wasn't for my daughter I think I would have disappeared! I keep getting an intense feeling of just wanting to runnaway whenever I'm at the hospital! how pathetic? There's always someone who has it worse and that's what I remember when I need a kick up the ass, "Get a Grip" I tell myself, I'm lucky this has been caught and I'm young but then there are days when all of that talk does nothing? but hey everyone has good days and bad days and we will get through this
.Best of luck to all of you and I look forward to hearing your wonderful stories xx
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Casper1 I'm sorry u had to join... But inknow exactly how u feel there are days still I feel like running away .... But let me tell u will do fine with chemo, I know it sounds scary but God gives our body the strength to survive this... I have two more treatments and if I can do it so can u!! I am the biggest baby, I cannot handle pain at all, but I have prayed so much and I'm almost at the end of this dark tunnel..I will pray for u!
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Thanks Coni, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger hey xxx Good luck with your last 2 treatments, you will be in my thoughts and just think the end of your dark tunnel is not far off. Let me know how they go, take it easy x
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hi ladies anyone did mastectomy with reconstruction surgery right away? i will have double mastectomy but only my left requires to wait a whole yr for reconstruction, i can have reconstruction right away with right side....but i dont know if is better to wait for both of them together or one first and then the other, the bc surgeon said that diep would not work for me because i dont have enough fat in stomach, so i was thinking of gaining a bit then do both together......but i wanted to hear others experience
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Coni: I haven't had surgery yet but I am doing one side, rads and then 6mo after rads are done I will have the other side done and reconstruction of both. I think if I were in your situation I would wait and have them both fixed at the same time. I am not looking forward to having only one for 8+ months.
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Thanks Karebear 76! I think that's what I will do both together
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Hi ladies! I am 32 years old and was diagnosed in Sept 2010. I had a mastectomy followed by chemo (TCx4) and now halfway through radiation. I have a five year old daughter, Layna. I am a single mom. I too haven't met anyone my age throughout my treatments, in fact at my oncology center, I really felt like I was in a retirement home for 80yrs and up. Finding others that have dealt with this my age makes it a touch easier knowing you're not alone! My chemo experience was awful, I don't even like to talk about it because I don't want to scare anyone off from chemo. I am looking forward to talking to other women my age about going through BC in their 30's.
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krista613 I know how you feel being the youngest at the oncology center. I actually asked if I could go to the peds floor. I still get the double take from the ladies who check me in when they notice my date of birth.
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hydeskate and krista, im also with you both...When I went for the Look good, feel better session I was the youngest one there..everyone else over 50...I think when i get infusions they are use to me...im the smiling, hyper(steroids) "girl" ive only seen a couple young girls at treatment at unc, but im sure there are more...sometimes i wish there was a group for young women at the center, it would be nice to connect occasionally.
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I am 39 and was dx when I was 37. I had no family hx of breast ca other than my maternal grandmother at 85. She actually passed from colon ca at the age of 95. So I had genetic testing done and found it was actually on my fathers side. I hope that my daughter will never have to go through what I have in her lifetime. She is only 11 yo now. I went through a bilateral mx and chemo and now I am having reconstruction done. I have had alot of surgeries ( the most current one was feb 14 to have new implant put in left side and to clean out old scar tissue from infection I had a few months ago. I also went through a nasty divorce and ex said I was making up my dx so I didn't have to be a mom!!! Yeah not a good support person in my life. I went through most of my tx without any support and I only found this site last year. I am slowly regaining strengh and faith in my fellow man (and woman) because of the emptiness I felt for so long. I do not post much but get alot of hope and inspiration from reading others stories. I just don't want to be hurt by anyone else by opening up that's all. I do come here often to just read about similar situations which gives me some kind of solace through my journey. I hope to someday pay it forward and be there for someone else that feels they have no one on their side. If I can help one person I know I have made a difference being here myself. Please feel free to IM me if you want to talk or ask any questions about my personal journey. my prayers go out to all of you!!!!!
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Glad you are here Kimberly! I worry about my daughter, she is only 5! But still I just pray she never has to go down this road. I had genetic testing too. My paternal grandmother had bc at 63 and 74 but that is the only history. My parents are both doing the bw so we can find out what side it may be on. I have a defective gene of unknown significance. Love that one!! Ugh. So my surgeon treats it like a positive to be safe.
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I'm always wondering - and feel sad, that so often has to join this group someone new.
I feel also very strange when sitting in a group of much older people. sometimes they stare at me, you know it There is another thing that I don't like, that everybody feels sorry for me. I hate that faces and sentences, you know "poor girl" etc. I just don't want to see and hear them.I think of all of you when I'm alone young among the cancer patients, and have to meet the pitying faces. You give me strength, that I'm not alone with these feelings.
Now I'm on the 5. day after my axillary node dissection. The lumpectomy was much better :-/ I hope I'll be better soon, I miss driving my car, and bringing home the children in the afternoon. I'm waiting for the path report, if I don't have more positive lymphnodes (there was a micometastasis in the sentinel), maybe I don't have to get chemo. But in this case I have to buy the oncotype test for myself, because we don't have it yet in my country.
I worry about my 5-year-old daughter. She cried yesterday in the nursery (kindergarten?-which is correct?), and didn't want to go to swim in the afternoon (she like it very much, she swims 2x a week). she said she miss me, but she didn't want to tell me everything. I'm thinking about a phsycologist, because we're still on the beginning of our way, and she's so sensitive. Did you have any problems with your children? How did you solve this? I thought I would spend more time just with her, maybe she'll be more opened.
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Are any of you feeling like a different person? This cancer has taught me so much about the person I wanted to be, instead of the person I was. I am more loving, caring, and respectful of other people, and myself. I also learned that I could face anything if I could beat cancer. But I dont know if I have the strength some days for what I'm going thru with my husband.
Now that most of the battle is over for us, my husband and I are dealing with the issues we put on hold before the cancer.
I was a very mean, controlling, demanding, immature person before BC, and my husband paid the price. Now he wants us to seperate to see if he still wants to be married to me, to see if he can trust that the new me is going to stick around. I want so badly to show him this new side of me, but he sometimes think that its af fluke, and that he may be too damged to ever see past the past.
I got another chance on life with the surgery I just had a double masectomy to remove what was left of the tumor after chemo, and now I may lose my husband too. I know what mistakes I made and I own up to them. We will be married 10 years in September. I know we love each other, and he is here every day taking care of me regardless of how I treated him in the past. He has such a big heart! And we are both seeing therapist seperately, wee have done some general sessions together. I just needed a place to talk with other BC women my age, forgive me if my post is too personal, but lately i've become a very open person.
I'm going to stay with my mom in a few weeks for about a month, to see how things go, were going to try dating each other, my husband wants to be alone to think, I want to give him space. This is the first step, from there we decide on a longer seperation and possibly me moving into my own place.if you have any sage advice, or have a similar situation, I need a frind right now.
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Skyydiamond - Im so sorry for what you are going through right now with your husband. I dont know if you are a person of faith, but prayers and leaving things in Gods hand and knowing that he will guide you is such great comfort, he will give you the strength for whatever is in store...love can conquer everything, i think is a great idea that you guys are dating each other again, that brings the spark, romance back into a marriage, but i think that if he was there for you, through all this battle means he loves you, and you need to hang on that, is great that you are able to pin point your mistakes, that a great step you took and the fact that you have changed is even better, let him see you for the new person you are now. BC has changed me so much too, i think it changes everyone and life perspective
I really do think he loves you, and he showed it to you, staying with you this whole time, someone else could have just walked away you know, what i would do know if i were you is show him how much you love him, and how you have changed. I dont know what if you guys took a trip to a nice romantic place, have long talks about when you guys first dated, have romantic dinners, go to a place where you can both relax, and fall in love all over again...
going through breast cancer is a very stressful experience atleast for me you have finance, emotions going all over the map, (specially taking steroids) you feel sick all the time, seriously (sex life gone at least for me) I dont feel sexy at all, all of that can ruin a marriage is so much on our plates, so thats why i suggested a trip to relax. also I think being apart for a little while also helps cause you see how much you miss the person....I hope i have given you good advise
and I wish you all the best, I will pray for you and Im sure everything will work out for two of you!0 -
Right now it is up to God, my husband uis going away on his own for clarity this weekend, and Ill be here with my Mom, if she can make it through the storm predicted for tomorrow. The weather is kind of like my relationship now. Thanks Coni, for listening.
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SKyydiamond - I know we just had a storm here too, well kind of not so bad, just raining now...
but you should do something with you mom you know dont just stay home...or maybe rent funny movies, dont let you self get depress or feel down...you have done chemo if you can survive chemo God will let you survive anything else! but is good to vent....just so you let everything out you know..im here anytime..I have you in my prayers you will see everything will work for the best..i have faith
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I have no advice skkydiamond but I wanted to send (((HUGS)))
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