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  • melp27
    melp27 Member Posts: 295
    edited June 2016

    dont think so chrissy. Im not sure if she has been diagnosed with depression as I have. Just anxiety.

    Not sure wether to distance myself completely or just be acquaintances. Not sure if she sees a councillor or psychologist.

  • bluekoala
    bluekoala Member Posts: 73
    edited June 2016
    Melp27 - I'll tell you about a really good friend of mine who I barely speak to anymore. A number of years back i had a series of miscarriages, and two other mutual friends had still births, over the course of 3 years. This friend carried on all the time about 'survivor guilt', and didn't want me to talk about how hard it was having not been able to have another baby. After a while she stopped having any time for me, and after I while I gave up on trying to get her to find time for me. She suddenly wanted to be my best friend again when my next two babies were born, but the first time didn't last more than a few weeks so I didn't let her the second time. Whether it was the 'survivor guilt' or not that we lost our friendship over, I don't know (the other girls are still her friends), but whatever the reason it hurt for a long time that it happened.
    It's been four years since I decided to let her go, and the hurt is mostly healed. I still see her often (we're in similar circles), but I don't feel anymore I want to avoid her, because I just don't care. She's just another person. I'm glad I could move on and not let her keep rejecting me.
    I haven't had anyone show me any negativity towards my cancer, but I'm only three months in. But I reckon if they were saying to me things like what your friend is I wouldn't want to be hanging around them. But, then, I'm more likely to say to people 'we all have our own shit to deal with, and right now mine is cancer'.
  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438
    edited June 2016

    Wow Blue! Good for you girl!! The fact that the tumour has shrunk so much is really good news for you. So glad that you are holding up so well to the chemo and I really hope that you continue to do so.

    Sending love n hugs. Chrissy

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438
    edited June 2016

    Mel, depression and anxiety usually go hand in hand. It really sounds like she needs to see about getting a proper diagnosis so she can begin to make her life a little different.

    Wether you distance yourself or just pull back from the friendship a little is entirely up to you but the bottom line is if the friendship as it stands now is toxic for you them you really need to do something.

    You have enough to deal with so dealing with someone who is detrimental to your well being is not what you need.

    Love n hugs girl. Chrissy

  • Ausbear
    Ausbear Member Posts: 16
    edited June 2016

    BlueKoala, that is such great news! I bet you feel relieved! How far from surgery are you?

    I have my oncology appt next week on Tuesday. Getting the jitters but hearing that you are doing so well makes me feel less anxious :)

    Take care

  • bluekoala
    bluekoala Member Posts: 73
    edited June 2016

    Ten more Taxol, then two or three weeks recovery, then surgery. Probably early September.

  • Trisha-Anne
    Trisha-Anne Member Posts: 1,661
    edited June 2016

    Mel, I'm sorry you have a friend like this. I've had a couple of friends that have pretty much disappeared from my life completely with this second dx. I think they just can't handle what's happening to me, so they just stay away. That's probably a bit easier than having someone shifting their inability to cope onto me though. I agree with Chrissy - you don't need this in your life at the moment. Walk away if you can - you need to concentrate on you. (((hugs)))

    Blue - you are doing the same regime I did. I'm six weeks out of my final Taxol now. I found AC pretty hard, but the Taxol was a lot easier on me. (((hugs))) to you too

    Ausbear let us know what your onc tells you. I was triple positive the first time and my chemo regime that time was FEC x 3 and Taxotere x 3 with the 12 months of Herceptin. It will be interesting to see if that has changed at all in the past 5 or so years.

    I'm doing great girls, onwards and upwards! Getting stronger each day and getting more done.

    Trish

    xoxo

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438
    edited June 2016

    Yay Trish! Good to hear that you are recovering and onward and upward is the only way to go.

    Hopefully your job hunting is going well and I've noticed on FB that your pawtography has been really busy and that's super good.

    I have been busy, busy, busy and gave completed one of my courses and got just another week to complete the second. It's been an interesting experience to be studying at my age but I've really enjoyed it so I'm thinking about checking out what else is on offer.

    Hope everyone is soldiering on and making the best of each day no matter what's going on.

    Love n hugs all!! Chrissy

  • Tammy_M43
    Tammy_M43 Member Posts: 565
    edited June 2016

    Chrissy, I love learning new things and it is something we should do all our lives!

    Trish, good to hear that you are going well!

    Blue, I hope you keep going so well!

    Melp, sorry about your friend troubles. I too had a close friend before diagnosis who is now rarely in my life. I am sad about it but we all need to take care of ourselves and hope our friends can come with us on the journey. I have made so many new friends since diagnosis that it has helped with the loss. I feel for you (((hugs)))

  • melp27
    melp27 Member Posts: 295
    edited June 2016

    thanks trish and tammy! yeah im giving myself time to process it all then in a while I may come back to her and know what is the right move for me to make next.

  • Ausbear
    Ausbear Member Posts: 16
    edited June 2016

    Hi everybody,

    I met with my oncologist yesterday. She is great!

    We discussed treatment and she suggested a weekly dose of Taxol for 12 weeks with Herceptin in the mix for a full year.

    We talked about the pros and cons of a longer/more intense chemo regime and she assured me that I would see a very minor increase in efficacy with much more side effects if we went harder.

    To be honest, I am happy that the chemo won't be too challenging (this of course is from the outside looking in!).

    I'm scheduled to begin chemo within the next two weeks. In the meantime, I need to go to chemo school (!) on Thursday, have an ECG, get a blood test, have my port installed and finally get that mohawk that I have been talking about since this all started! And I am back at work three days a week. Gonna be a busy fortnight!

    Hope you are all well and happy. Feel free to chime in with your opinions on the treatment plan - I'd love to know what the more experienced ladies have to say about it!

    Cheers

    Clair xo


  • Trisha-Anne
    Trisha-Anne Member Posts: 1,661
    edited June 2016

    Hi Clair

    It's good you have a treatment plan now. Taxol weekly is not too bad. I just finished Taxol and all in all it was one of the easier ones to tolerate. Herceptin isn't too bad either, it's a pain that it goes on for so long, but I didn't have any serious side effects from Herceptin. I found my hair actually started to grow on Taxol - it all fell out on AC - but my eyebrows and eyelashes fell out on the Taxol - so just wait and see how your hair holds up before doing anything drastic, you never know, it might just thin a fair bit without actually falling out completely.

    Good you are getting a port too - Herceptin without a port would be horrible. I used Emla cream (from the chemist) to numb the area before chemo, and never felt the needle going in. It's expensive, but to me was worth it. Oh - and I sucked on iceblocks during the Taxol infusion - it helped minimise the taste changes.

    It's good too that you are going to be so busy over the next couple of weeks, that will help too.


    Trish

    xoxo

  • bluekoala
    bluekoala Member Posts: 73
    edited June 2016
    two things I'm glad I did: get a port in, and not shave my head.


    The port, while annoying to actually get in, and probably a slight nuisance once chemo is done until it can come out, but so much more comfortable than getting a cannula in every week!!!!


    My hair was long, so I cut it short (in a bob), and then just let it fall out. It hasn't all come out yet, and under a scarf it looks like I have normal hair. I'll decide what to do with it once the new hair has grown.
  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438
    edited June 2016

    Yay Clair! Glad you've got your treatment all mapped out........makes you feel proactive. When doing your chemo just remember to hydrate well and listen to your body and rest when it tells you to. Having a port is going to make things a whole lot easier for you.

    Love n hugs. Chrissy

  • Ausbear
    Ausbear Member Posts: 16
    edited June 2016

    Hi ladies,

    Thanks for the great advice! I will be dragging along all kinds of yummy liquids to drink during chemo. My favourite green tea is from T2, its called Gorgeous Geisha and I will be stocking up and taking it in a big ole thermos I have hiding under the sink! I just bought a new water bottle too, nothing like the fear of infection from those hard to clean water bottle litds to spur on an impulse purchase.

    I got my hair cut yesterday, I'm calling it LadyHawke as it is not shaved, just spiky through the mohawk part! I love it :)

    My port surgery is on Monday 27th and then chemo starts on Thursday 30th June. If all goes according to plan, I will be done with treatment by the end of financial year 2017. Seems like ages away but the hard part (chemo) will be over before I know it.

    Big hugs

    Clair


  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438
    edited June 2016

    Clair, just to ket you know, it's not the best idea to drink hot beverages during chemo. You need to keep your mouth cold in order to slow the taste changes as well as protect the mucosa of the mouth from breaking down and ending up with a mouth full of ulcers. By all means have your tea but make sure it is cold.

    Love n hugs. Chrissy

  • aussie12
    aussie12 Member Posts: 421
    edited June 2016

    Hi all

    Today I saw the Surgeon who did my Bowel cancer op to organise my colonostomy reversal. I am going to get it done in October as that gives me a few months to organise my finances. The surgery is quite big and I will need about 6 weeks off work so will maybe need some Centrelink help again.

    I have been doing all right back at work but am still getting a sore back from standing all day.

    Carol

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438
    edited June 2016

    Yay Carol, good news on your reversal surgery and October will be here sooner than you think! I don't know about you but the weeks just seem b to fly by for me.

    Definitely get Centrelink support if you need it, at least the bit that they give will be enough to get you through.

    Did you ask management about a stool? Perhaps some really good supportive shoes may help........I sincerely hope your back pain gets sorted soon.

    Love n hugs. Chrissy

  • Trisha-Anne
    Trisha-Anne Member Posts: 1,661
    edited June 2016

    Hi Carol

    Good to hear you have a date. I did talk to my brother - sorry forgot to post his answer! He had his reversal done about 2 months after the op, so he was still off work. He said around 6-8 weeks to get back to work for him. He has a pretty physically demanding job though (he's a motor mechanic) so 6 weeks will probably be plenty for you.

    Trish

    xoxo

  • Tammy_M43
    Tammy_M43 Member Posts: 565
    edited June 2016

    image

    I went on the 5 lands walk today on the Central Coast. It was beautiful. You can see people here walking along the beach

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438
    edited June 2016

    Beautiful photo Tammy! What is the 5 lands walk? I've never heard of it before.

  • Tammy_M43
    Tammy_M43 Member Posts: 565
    edited June 2016

    Chrissy, it is based on the Cinque Terra walk in Italy and covers five beautiful beaches on the NSW Central Coast. This is the 10th year it has been run but the first time I'd heard of it even though I live in NSW!

    There was entertainment at each beach club and a very cool thing to do

  • kyliet
    kyliet Member Posts: 587
    edited June 2016

    Hi everyone, just doing a catchup read. It is great to hear how everyone is progressing.

    Mel it is really hard when you are stretched dealing with health issues to prop up someone else. As Chrissy said they are her problems. I have had 'breaks' with friends when I have felt stressed at the thought of seeing them.

    Chrissy great news on studying, it sounds interesting.

    Tammy I hope you enjoyed the walk. My friends went on it with their two girls in backpacks. I live on The Central Coast, are you from here?

    Hugs to everyone x

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438
    edited June 2016

    That sounds really good Tammy....thanks for the low down on it.

    Kylie, yes the study has been very interesting and has given me some real insight into helping others with depression and anxiety and some tools as well.

    I'm heading down to spend the next two weeks with my sister starting tomorrow. She still had not got a diagnosis but all cancers have been ruled out....yay!....at least that is something but her symptoms are really debilitating. I just hope that she manages to get some answers soon.....we all know that waiting to find out stuff is really hard to deal with.

    My shop is set up and waiting for me when I get back......yes I said shop.......I am opening a very small Antique shop stocking mainly small pretty objects and I'm thinking of Having some cards printed using my photographs and selling those as well. There are a few more ideas rolling around my head but they will have to wait for a little while before they can be bought out and dusted off.......lol. I will only be open two or three days a week to begin with and it might just stay that way as I still have to keep appointments etc and I still want to do my volunteering at the old Railway Station as well. Nothing like staying busy!! I'll keep you informed as to how it's all going.

    Hoping you've all had a great weekend!

    Love n hugs. Chrissy

  • kyliet
    kyliet Member Posts: 587
    edited June 2016

    Wow Chrissy, congratulations, that sounds so exciting. Please show us some photos when you open x

  • suzieq60
    suzieq60 Member Posts: 1,422
    edited June 2016

    Sounds great Chrissy!!!

    All good on the Brissie front - working 5 days a week as usual - looking forward to retirement

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438
    edited June 2016

    Suzie!! Good to hear from you!! It's been so long!!! Glad all is well at your end and when pray tell are you planning your retirement? I'm assuming it will be getting pretty close.

    I completed a dream catcher order tonight and it turned out pretty good.......sure hope the lady who ordered it will be happy when she recieves it!

    I promise I'll post some pics of the shop as soon as I have it the wsy I want it!

    Have a good one all!

    Love n hugs. Chrissy

  • Tammy_M43
    Tammy_M43 Member Posts: 565
    edited June 2016

    Chrissy, fantastic news on the shop! Looking forward to seeing the photos.

    Kylie, I live in Sydney on the northern beaches so it isn't too far away.


  • Trisha-Anne
    Trisha-Anne Member Posts: 1,661
    edited June 2016

    Chrissy - that sounds exciting! Looking forward to hearing more about it when you have it up and running Smile

    I realised today that I won't be able to get to our get together at the end of November in Melbourne. In fact (with the way things are going) I won't ever be able to do a get together at the end of November. My pet photography business is now doing Santa photos with pets at three big pet stores in Canberra - and the sessions will all start near the end of November and go through to early December.

    For me to go, it would need to be at the beginning of November. Having said that, I'm not sure if I would be able to afford to go this year anyway. Having been out of work now for eight months, and no serious job prospects in sight, I don't have any spare money.

    Apart from that depressing fact, I'm doing really well. Feeling so much better than I was. My hair is really starting to grow and I now have eyelashes and eyebrows! Yay! I'm ready to start work, and have been to lots of interviews. I look really good on paper, but as soon as the employer sees me and realise that I've had cancer, they shy away. It will get easier once my hair is thick enough to go without a hat, but at the moment, it's just not happening.

    Trish

    xoxo

  • melp27
    melp27 Member Posts: 295
    edited June 2016

    congratulations on the shop chrissy! Will it be in Burra I presume?? or adelaide?

    Good to hear you are going well with your treatment trish! I'm having my usual scans and bloods taken before I see my onc in July. Hope he gives me good news like last time :):)

    tammy I love that picture!! Looks so peaceful there.

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