Stitching the pieces together

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Comments

  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 10,618
    edited October 2012

    Mmm sounds good.

    I had a melt down last night.  DH's family hates me and when they are in the picture I am not a happy girl, well, right in the middle of sewing SKID stopped by and I melted after he left.

    Oh, Barbe, wish you were here!  We could sew, chat and you could keep me on track!

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited October 2012

    Meece, that would be wonderful!! Right now I'm sewing my heart out making a quilt of circles and arcs. VERY demanding. I actually had to go out and buy a little CD player (most had MP3 connections but I don't have an MP3!!!!!) to play while I sew to keep my mind shut down. I was thinking too much and burying myself in stress rather than enjoying the moment. Get thee some music going!!!!

  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 10,618
    edited October 2012

    Another good idea.  Pre-meltdown I sat in the absolutely quiet room and stitched.  I do over think things if my mind is not otherwise occupied.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited October 2012

    My DH thought my thinking would all be of sewing, but I said it becomes second nature and then my mind wanders.....

  • ConnieGreene
    ConnieGreene Member Posts: 13
    edited October 2012

    I love to sew - it's what I do when stressed - glad I found this group...unfortunately I just cannot concentrate anymore...I have a business online via facebook and have wonderful with it...and now I am turning them all down..I hate it

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited October 2012

    Awww, Connie, you're too new to cancer to be able to concentrate!! Cut yourself some slack. I've just started sewing seriously again 4 YEARS after my double mast!!! What was for FB business?

  • ConnieGreene
    ConnieGreene Member Posts: 13
    edited October 2012

    Sew Crazy Lady...I made what people asked me to make...girls clothing quilts you name it - they posted a pic and I did my best from those pics!!! I even made quilted cushions for under a horse saddle and bit warmers!!!

    I only took orders - heaven knows I did not want a bunch of stuff sitting around!

    It was so much fun and with 3 little girls running around (twins almost 7 and a 3 yr old) it was my destresser!!!!

    btw the way I LOVE your Foctober!!!

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited October 2012

    Thanks! I made that up all by my little lonesome for a thread bashing the pink washing that goes on this time of year.

    You will find momemts of crafting but probably not in big chunks until you get your treatment on course. It's kind of overwhelming. I thought it would distract me, but I just couldn't concentrate so I've done little projects over the years but now I can finally sink my teeth in! 

  • sewingnut
    sewingnut Member Posts: 475
    edited October 2012

    Meece,

    The dress is gorgeous!! People looked at me like I had a 3rd head when I told them I made my DIL's wedding dress. I cheated and got lace with beads & pearls on it though.  You DIL will look stunning :)

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438
    edited October 2012

    I have been tol today that DD has set the date for her wedding and has decided on having it here in the country and not in the city. The date is 28th September 2013 so I have a year to prepare. Luckily it is a little easier for venues etc here so that is not going to be too much trouble it's just all the other stuff......

    Meece your FDIL is going to look spectacular as are her attendants! Take a deep breath and de-stress all will go well on the day.

  • Blessings2011
    Blessings2011 Member Posts: 1,801
    edited October 2012

    I got married seven years ago (for the first time, at the age of 54!!!!) and I had the BEST wedding dress!

    I had gone all over town trying on dresses, and didn't want to look like Cinderella, or Grandma at her 90th birthday party.

    So I found a local seamstress who agreed to make my dress. The day we had our first appointment, my "Best Woman" (Matron of Honor) had come up from L.A. to go with me. Turns out this seamstress had been her best friend since junior high, and they had lost touch. Oh, what a screamfest THAT was! Soooo fun!!!

    Anyway, my wedding dress consisted of a narrow, ankle-length tank dress made out of white cotton knit (thin - like T-shirt knit).

    Over that, there was a narrow overlay dress made out of STRETCH LACE!!!!! It had 3/4 sleeves, and my seamstress spent extra time adding bling (crystals and beading) around the neckline and cuffs.

    It turned out SOOOO gorgeous, and the best part - it was as comfortable as a nightgown!!!!

  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 10,618
    edited October 2012

    I married 7 years ago, too (2nd time though).  I search the internet and found a tea length "wedding dress" in ivory with blush trim.  Fell in love with it and since DH's daughter worked at a bridal salon I asked her to order it.  She said they didn't deal with the company.  Like an idiot I called ehr work and talked to the manager who said of course they carry that brand.  So when I went in to measure, it was DH's daughter who took them.  She chose the size based on my hips which she told me were so big, and ordered it.  Who was I to question it, although I was curious because it was a drop waist and flared just above the hip.  Anyway when the dress arrived it was way too big in the bust and ribs, so I had to take it to a seamstress to have it taken in.  Talk about stress!!!

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited October 2012

    Why did you FDIL make it so difficult Meece? Wasn't she going to be your NEW DIL?? Or did your first DH have kids before you married him?

    I married this prince 17 years ago. I can't believe it!!! We still kiss when one of us gets up to go to the bathroom!!! People actually ask if we're really married!!!! (I was married to the first dud for 8 1/2 years...sigh.) Been together with Paul for 19 years of living together, though. Still feels new and fresh. I don't "work" at it like they say you're supposed to. When you REALLY love someone, it's not work!! It's respect, admiration, adoration, compassion, etc. I think if I had to work at it, it would be like my first marriage. Then when I finally stopped trying, he would step in for a day or two and make me think it was going to be okay. And the cycle just repeated itself for 8 1/2 years!!

  • chabba
    chabba Member Posts: 3,600
    edited October 2012

    When we got married 46 yrs ago our wedding was extremely low budget.  We were adults, on our own and felt we should pay our own way.  We were amazed how friends and family stepped forward and offered their talents.  Mom's best friend's Mother offered to make my dress if I would buy the materials.  I had fallen in love with a dress in a window display that was very expensive  - 1966 and almost $4,000.  She was a retired seamstress, tailor and milliner.  We went together for me to try on the dress and she made sketches.  She Helped me select the fabrics, total cost to me $45.  $25 of it was 1/2 yard of French lace which we cut up for appliques. She added some pearls she already had.  For my bridesmaids I bought fabric and patterns, they made them or had them made.

    Bestman's Father did invitations free, he was a hobby printer.  Bestman's mother was retired florist and cake decorator, did cake to my design and the flowers, I just paid for the flowers.  DH's family did the rehearsal dinner in their home, best man hosted post rehearsal party at their home.  I had two preachers, neither would accept remuneration.  The organist was DH's uncle. Bestfriend's family took charge of the reception.  Since we were married 400 miles from my home town my parents did a second reception there for the friends who couldn't make it to the wedding.  Even the pictures were taken by a friend.  Total expenditures for DH and I, about $300.

  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 10,618
    edited October 2012

    My wedding in 1982 was only about $1,200.  I was married to ExDH for 22 years.  He did the same thing as yours did Barbe.  When I'd stop trying, he'd try for a breif period, then back to the old patterns.

    It was my current DH's daughter who worked in the bridal salon.  She is still "his daughter" as I have never been made to feel as if she wanted any sort of familial bond.  He has two children and I have three, although my three make him feel as if he's family.

  • Gingerbrew
    Gingerbrew Member Posts: 1,997
    edited October 2012

    Can't wait for the latest photos Meece.  

    Not relative to your situation Meece.   Girls are hard. Keeping cordial and being decent maybe the best you can do.  My friends 2 daughters were taken to their fathers wedding reception as young teens, without knowing he had remarried. One of them spent the evening with her head under the tablecloth sobbing. It is extra hard on girls and they have the most difficult time in ever letting a new step mom into their family circle.   I think being the stepmom of adolescent girls might be the hardest parenting job of all. 

    Hugs Ginger 

  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 10,618
    edited October 2012

    Dh's daughter was 22 when we married, but was against me from the first day I made contact with her.  So much water under the bridge now.

    I beaded the jacket a bit more last night.  DH and I are fighting colds so we went to bed early.

    How cruel to not notify the girls of their dad'd remarriage.  What did the adults expect?

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438
    edited October 2012

    Meece it's always hard to meld two families. I think it sounds like you've done a pretty good job of it.



    That jacket is sounding so gorgeous that I can't wait to see a pic!

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited October 2012

    That IS HORRID to not tell the girls of the wedding!!! How cruel! I hope he was ashamed of himself as guests found out. I'm sure the girls would have talked if asked...!!!

    I have two step-kids that are a bit younger than my DH who is 8 years older than me! The son is like a son, but it's true of the daughter. She was 6 when I came into her life, so 8 when we married. It was tough as I have a stronger discipline on my kids (dirty towels, etc) but I stuck to my guns - my house, my rules. The steady parameters helped over the years and we have been good for years and years now. When she was still little I told her over and over and over and over that she would always be her Dad's #1 because he knew HER first. I always complement her sincerely on her clothes or hair when we see her because he doesn't say anything and I know she cares. Little things like that.... 

  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 10,618
    edited October 2012

    Barbe, I am glad that your SKids are a bit younger than your DH, it would be awkward if it were the other way around.  But, are they older than you? Laughing

    I sat down and watch some TV after work yesterday and did more beading.  I was amazed how the time flew and I only got about 12 more inches of beading done in 90 minutes.  I am working to make sure that IF a bead were to pop off, that more beads won't go, too. 

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited October 2012

    Meece, I meant that they are older than my DH's kids...doi on me!!

  • wren44
    wren44 Member Posts: 7,932
    edited October 2012

    Obit in the paper today for a 93.75 year old woman mentioned the distribution of her fabric stash as a major occupation during her last months.

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438
    edited October 2012

    Bless her. Man she must have had some stash!

  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 10,618
    edited October 2012

    One of DH's mother's best friends is entering hospice today on her own choice since she is tired of dialysis and her condition is worsening..  Before she had to enter assisted living this past year, she went through everything she had.  Everything.  She packed it in boxes for and labeled tham for each of her three sons, their wives and their children.  By the day she entered assisted living only what she was taking there, except for the house furniture, was distributed.  She even made donations to her church for their rummage sale and a monetary gift for a set of handbells to start a handbell chior.  A few weeks ago, the bell chior went and gave her and the other residents a concert.  That is one woman who has  her act together.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited October 2012

    But Meece, you have to do that! When you go into assisted living you don't get storage spaces like garages and basements and attics to stash your stuff into. You have to get rid of it. And unless you want to pay for two places, furniture has to go too. I don't see what she did as so amazing, really.

  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 10,618
    edited October 2012

    Well, she didn't have to get rid of the house.  What some people do, is they just leave their homes and stuff for their families to deal with.  My 99 year old aunt had to go to assisted living this year after a bout in the hospital.  She didn't have the opportunity to give her things to the people she wanted them to go to.  Mother spent a week with her cousins going through things last month and she said they never even got to all of the storage spaces. It was/is a lot of work.

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438
    edited October 2012

    I admire her strength and sensibility to be able to give your possessions away. Other than telling my family what is to be done with certain things very personal to me what happens to all the rest is in their hands.



    Anyway.......I'm far from being that close to have to do anything with all my stuff. Hopefully I have been a busy bee and used it all up.......lol

  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 10,618
    edited October 2012

    It makes me think of how to disperse some of my things.  Or at least write a list of how I would like them to go.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited October 2012

    Hmm, I guess I see your point. It's just that my DH's mom had to go into assisted living and they had to get rid of everything that wouldn't fit. Same when she went into a locked ward with Alzheimers. It's normally a process of giving away and shrinking down. It's not a surprise that people get older. I guess your Aunt, Meece, didn't pay anything for the house that sat empty or could afford the taxes and maintenance? I know of people, like my step-mother (only 65!) that put masking tape on the back or underside of furniture naming who they wanted pieces to go to. When my step-mother downsized this year, those pieces went to the intended parties sooner. My DH's Mom gave away jewelry over the years as she saw fit. Her daughter got a ring that I have the matching necklace to! I offered to give her the necklace but she said no.

  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 10,618
    edited October 2012

    I know people who write names on things as well.  Yes, my aunt's home was paid for, but she

     collected a lot of stuff in her 99 years !