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March 2011 chemo-lounge

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Comments

  • pasmithx2
    pasmithx2 Member Posts: 224

    Hi ladies, It has been a while. I am still jetlagged after our vakay in Barcelona and the cruise in the Mediterranean. It was not really a relaxing holiday. We were on the go every day, all day and it was incredibly hot all the time. Most days it was well over 100*F and there wasn't much opportunity to escape it since the Europeans don't use A/C the way we do over here. Still, it was a good time.

    The wig was not much use to me given the heat. I haven't done much with scarves but I got a few to take with me and they were far more comfortable, although I was still too hot.

    I'm now at 8 weeks PFC and was worried that I'd follow some of you and lose my eyebrows on my holiday. But they seem to be growing in in the thin areas even if the thinning continues. I just need to fill in the skimpy areas a bit.

    And hey--I'm suddenly seeing some movement on the hair front! I'm not quite ready to go topless, but I'm seeing more coverage. The sides look better than the top though. It's still not long enough to fold over and it all stands straight up on end. Most of it looks pretty grey. I figure in another couple of weeks I can see the hairdresser to trim up the long, fluffy bits and maybe even improve the colour.

    I was reading somewhere that post-chemo women can become clumsy Ikes and they risk hurting themselves due to falls. I now have to wonder if that's me! Twice, I was looking around more than I was watching where my feet were and flipped my ankle. I slammed down on my knees both times (still holding a big camera and even a lemon granita!) and managed to tear the knee out of one of my pairs of capris. Luckily, I survived both falls and just felt like a total dork going down in public. I might mention it to the dr next time I see him. I can see where this could become an issue since the Arimidex is known to cause bone loss. I still need to set up a bone density test, but apparently I'm not in bad shape at the moment!

    I've read through all the posts I've missed and see there have been some ups and some downs over the last couple of weeks. It's a bit overwhelming to respond to everyone, especially since the converstations have moved on. I hope all you ladies doing rads are getting through it alright and the ladies recovering from surgeries are getting back to normal.

    I'm looking forward to a good fall (autumn, that is!) We will move number one son to university this weekend, number two son is back at school next week, and then we'll have to learn a new routine with just the three of us. I will start my master's program in another week or so and I've already starting taking on some work from my main client. It feels good to have more to think about than scans, side effects, feeling lousy, and what's next.

  • Kymn
    Kymn Member Posts: 887

    Good afternoon ladies, hope your all having a great tuesday, just had number 18 of 33 rads today. I think divine and I are having the same treatment, I get 28 then 5 boosts to the tumour area. I am not getting any under my arm as all nodes were clear just whole breast for 28 then the 5 boosts. As for cream I was told to use Glaxal base cream and just slather it on few times a day. If your at home go without a bra just a tight tank, for those of us that work and have to wear a bra make sure its a sports bra with no underwires as this will rub and irriate the skin. For the skin under my boob that is getting red and a bit raw I was told to use a saline rinse. To make it your self you use 2tsp of salt in 1 litre of boiled water let cool in the fridge then soak a soft cotton cloth in it and appy to the skin for about 20 min, keep dipping it in to keep it cool. This has really helped alot. Definetly the fatigue is the tougher one for me so I have started taking fridays off work so I can catch up on some much needed rest and house work lol.

    Lily that sounds like a wonderful time you had with those ladies and how nice of that waiter to do that for all of you. I love to see kindness shown in the world, makes everyday worthwhile dont you think.

    I am so looking forward to being done all of this, I had an appt with my onc yesterday and I guess he is discharging me to my family doctor, that unnerved me a bit just feels like too soon you know, I go and see my family doc every 6 months and go for a mamo every year and unless I have any concerns thats it......can that really be it??????......I dont know I would love to think so. Havent quite digested it all yet. I too plan on loosing the scarf after my last radiation treatment that will be it the end of my cancer erra and I will rock whatever short hair due I have at that point.

    You all have a great day, your amazing wonderful, funny and inspring women

    Hugs Kymn

  • Jules59
    Jules59 Member Posts: 148

    Lillylady, I had a CT as part of the mapping or simulation where they get ready to set up the machine for your body and pysique.  Then, the "physics dept" sets up a plan for you.  That can take  a few days, or in my case 2 weeks.  X-rays are once a week for me, I guess to make sure machine alignment is correct.  There are signs in the examining rooms of my RO's office telling patients that the X-rays are not to look for changes in the tumors.  I see my RO once a week.

    This has been my experience...it might be different for others.

  • Silia
    Silia Member Posts: 265

    Hi gang -

     I've been out of touch and don't think I can completely catch up on all the postings.  Am in a funk.  Last Tues we met with my bs and I hoped to have a surgery date (I REALLY want to keep this moving forward!!).  She wanted to first check with my onc re: my nodes and what he wants in terms of dissection.  She said she'd get back to me later in the week hopefully and that if I hadn't heard by early this week, to prompt her.  I called today and left a message but nothing back so far...  Immediately after that appt, my dp and I scooped up our 3 dogs and arrived in Cape May that evening.  This was for my long-awaited post-chemo/pre-surgery weeklong vaca. In less than 48 hrs, we were mandatorily evacuated - ugh...  I know that tons of people were impacted by Irene and I should count my blessings but I am definitely feeling sorry for myself for many reasons - my non-vacation, my hair which is super-thin on top, my non-scheduled surgery, etc.  I'm  sure I'll bounce back and as lilylady said cinch up my big girl panties (or words to that effect!) but I've been a lump on the couch yesterday and today especially.  I think I had way too many expectations for the vacation in terms of decompressing, getting clarity on some work and life stuff...  Enough about me - while I haven't read all postings thoroughly, I think fondly of all of you and am glad for the great news (finishing rads!) and sorry to hear about skin wounds and changes in surgery plans.  Wishing everyone good days this week (and maybe I need to get myself off this couch and walk a bit -- I know that would be Maria's advice!)  Sending hugs.

  • Kay_G
    Kay_G Member Posts: 1,914

    That is really a shame about your non-vacation. I'd be bummed too. Not sure how many nodes the bs removed on me, but I am sore there and can't lift my arm over my head. I think next week an occupational therapist is going to come out and help me to get back to normal with it now that I have all drains removed. Lilylady, ro said an xray every week and an appt. with him every week. In three weeks supposed to have the set up appt. and then start in 4 weeks. Hope you're feeling better colodisneylover. That sounds painful. Hope you're not too delayed in starting lilylady. I may be too. RO told me if I don't feel I will be ready to hold my arms over my head for 30 to 40 minutes, call him and we will push it back a while. We'll see. I want to get this over, but want to make sure I am ready to start too. Silia, there is a get together on labor day at 6 at Fridays in mt. Laurel. I am going to go. I'll send you the link if you're interested. Several nice ladies are supposed to go.

  • PennyCookson
    PennyCookson Member Posts: 356

    lilylady - I had a CT at the beginning, but not the same as the one when they were looking for mets, no injection so I think its just a positioning thing.  They did xrays every two weeks to check the positioning was still good and I saw the RO every Friday (although it was often a registrar who knew bugger all.).  Hope the Aussie Emu oil works well

    I had tattoos but they let me wipe off the pen marks every day.

    Maxine - congrats on having your last - primary treatment over!  can't wait to go out without the scarf myself but it will be a while.

    Jules - sounds like our treatment is very similar, may need to ask you about LE later this is my first sign of it and seeing someone today

  • maxineo
    maxineo Member Posts: 199

    lily: similarly, I had a CT scan at mapping and xrays each week. I also met with the RO each week and had a CBC...my veins have gone into hiding!

    penny and jules and colodisneylover: how do you know you have LE? swelling? pain? I have had some minor pain, but I don't notice swelling (not sure how i would unless it was significant).

    silia: so sorry about the vacation! I am bummed for you!

    Kay: Be sure your arm is in good shape. My surgery was in Feb and my RO mapping in July, and while it wasn't so much the pain from the axillary dissection, it was a LONG time to keep my arm up.

    pasmith: funny, my hair is thicker on top than on the sides!

    Kymn: Rock the short hair when you're done with rads! I will bring the kids to the bus stop tomorrow without...probably a lot of questions from all the kids, or just stares.  Oh well!

    I am officially done with rads. I'm not sure how I feel. I thought I would be either elated or cry, but really I felt neither.  I suppose I am relieved to be done, but I am so emotionally out of it with all that has happened in the past few months, it's as though I am unable to react.  Sounds completely weird, I know.  Maybe just the lack of something to focus on.  I will go tomorrow to see the MO and get my tamoxifen prescription, but after my RO followup in a couple weeks, I don't see a doctor until January???  Hard to wrap my head around it after the scads of doctors I have seen recently.  Kymn, I think you commented similarly. Hard to believe.

  • Jules59
    Jules59 Member Posts: 148

    MaxineO,

    My BS referred me to a physical therapist soon after surgery to help me get back my range of motion in my arm where the nodes had been removed.  She also was trained in LE therapy.  I had several sessions with her.  She measured my arms, and the affected arm was sightly larger.  A few weeks later, I noticed a "heaviness" in my arm, and when she measured, it was even larger.  You could not see the difference by just looking.  She then ordered me a compression sleeve, which I wear while exercising, traveling, doing housework, etc.

  • Colodisneylover
    Colodisneylover Member Posts: 183

    Maxine-Congrats on finishing rads!  Like Jules, I felt a heaviness in my arm. It wasn't really visible, but it just didn't feel "right." I told my PS about it and he blew me off. I then met with my BS for a follow up and told him. He measured it and referred me to a LE therapist. Meeting with her was good. She measured several spots on my arm from my elbow up and could see from the measurements that it was larger than my other arm. She prescribed the sleeve that I wear all of the time and some daily exercises to do. When it got worse during/after chemo, I went back and she prescribed the overnight styrofoam/bangage wrap. I can tell it's worse again from the rads, but I'm hoping it will go down. 

  • Kymn
    Kymn Member Posts: 887
    Hi ladies, I feel poopy today Cry just depressed with the way I look, the weight gain, having to try and find a couple eyelashes to put mascara on, the bags under my eyes from being so fatigued the blisters under my boob.....you know just the whole friggin thing. Wish I would get my period then maybe this PMS feeling would go away but right now I just want to go to sleep and wake up looking like me again oh crap here come the tears again and I am at work. Gotta run
  • Kay_G
    Kay_G Member Posts: 1,914

    Congrats to those finishing rads!  And thanks for the tip on the arm.  I will make sure it is okay before going in for the simulation or whatever he called it.

    I went to a le therapist before my surgery since I was having tightness in the arm.  Not sure why.  I had cancer in the lymph nodes.  I guess it had something to do with that.  And I was doing yoga trying to stretch.  I guess I overdid it.  The le therapist said I had some cording in my arm.  She gave me a few exercises to do and also measured my arms every 5 cms from my wrist to my shoulder.  Right arm (with cording and cancer) was 4% larger than left arm.  She said this was normal since I'm right handed and was good to know the baseline in case I have symptoms of Lymphedema after surgery.  So if it's your dominant arm that is larger, it might have always been that way.  I can't stand all these f*cking se's from everything.  It is so frustrating.  The RO did tell me that lymphedema could be a se from rads too.  I guess they have to tell you all possible se's.  Wishing you well with it Colodisneylover.  Hope it resolves quickly.

  • ksmatthews
    ksmatthews Member Posts: 743

    I am so depressed today, and have just been sitting and crying.  I hate this whole process and just want it to all go away.

    Kymn I hope you feel better soon, it does suck to feel this way.

  • Kay_G
    Kay_G Member Posts: 1,914

    Awwww...KSMatthews  (((((((hugs))))))))..... if misery loves company, I have been feeling that way too.  I was told I had an excellent path report from surgery.  1.5 cm tumor in breast, .2 cm tumor in two lymph nodes.  After all the chemo I did and the docs and MRI thinking there was 0 cancer left, that did not seem excellent at all to me.  I know it's a whole lot better than I started with and it's good to have it out of my body, but nothing but tears and depression for me since Monday when I heard this.  Talked to RO nurse yesterday and she said there are therapists at the cancer center if I want to talk to them.  I think I will.  I actually feel worse now than when I first heard the diagnosis.  I think if they hadn't set me up that they thought I didn't have any cancer left, I would have felt good about the pathology.

  • mdg
    mdg Member Posts: 1,468

    ksmatthews & Kay...HUGS!  I am sorry you are both in a slump.  It happens and it is so up and down for lots of us.  Some days are better than others. It seems like I do good for a while then I get completely sad or angry as heck.  I still can't believe at times that I had BC.......it is unbelievable.   Why me???

    Kymn: I feel like frankenstein these days.  All the scars accros my foobs, the port scar on my arm which is noticeable to others and the thinning hair (I still have it but it's continuing to shed and is so much thinner than my normal hair).  I too have dark circles under my eyes......they won't go away no matter what.  I always had them but since chemo they are super dark.  I did look a little better after vacation and some sun but overall I feel gross, ugly and frumpy.  I use to always be so stylish and have my hair fixed all the time and never had any gray showing.  Now I feel like people must thing "girl, please do something with yourself and get some sleep".   I wonder when I will wake up and look in the mirror and not see "cancer girl" and see my old self again.....You are not alone in your feelings at all.  Hugs!

    Glad so many of you are finishing rads.  I am so happy you have that done and can try to move on. I too am thinking about counseling but since our move I am so busy I just have not had time to even look into it.  I know I have to make time....I think it would help.

    I hope you all have a wonderful day.  It is going to be hot here again...mid 90's in the next few days.  Summer is lasting longer which is good!

  • lilylady
    lilylady Member Posts: 478

    ksmatthews and Kay-totally get the "down" thing. Have had a harder time pulling myself up lately too. When I asked my NP at the onc if she thought it was time for some happy pills or anti-anxiety she assured me my coping skills were way too advanced for that. And she knows this how? We will get thru-like I said in an earlier post ending tx and moving on might be the hardest part of this whole thing. Cracks me up saying that after puky chemo and major surgery.

      Kymn-just from your picture I can say you are one of the prettiest women I have ever seen. The hair might be gone but that beautiful smile is still got to be there somewhere. I am not and have never been a girly girl and I am so depressed about how i look-I can imagine if you are used to being a knockout how much harder that would be. You are getting so close to the end-and sooner or later the SEs have to stop. I still can't belive that 6 weeks after chemo my lashes and brows fell out. The only brows left were like 3 of those big long wiry gray old man ones so I pulled them out today. i have 5 lashes on 1 eye and 4 on the other. Now here is the kicker. I picked up poison ivy over the weekend and it just completed the look. I am horribly allergic and of all places I got it on my face. My lips look like Mick Jagger and my eyes are almost swollen shut-looks like little pig eyes. And the big cure for me is a massive dosage of steroids for a week. And we all know how much fun steroids are. It is fading- have been taking the roids since Mon morning. BS was beside herself when she saw me-afraid it would get in the incisions-which are healed but itching like crazy.

      Maria-hope the house hunting is going well. You will go back to putting efforts into your appearance-that isn;t something that changes I don;t think. We all have to give ourselves a break girls!! I have never been one to worry about what others think-but when I look at myself and realize THERE ISN;T ANYTHING I CAN DO RIGHT NOW TO MAKE MYSELF LOOK ANY BETTER it does throw me. It takes me forever to get ready to go anyplace besides Lowes or krogers. I know if I dont; spend the time getting stuff out the day ahead where ever I am going is going to be ruined by my mood in getting ready.

      On a positve note I do believe my chemo brain is improving some. Maybe it's just me but I can actually leave the room and sometimes remember what I got up to do!!

    Love you all and we will get thru this together

  • PennyCookson
    PennyCookson Member Posts: 356

    Kay, Kymn and ksmatthews - sorry you are all feeling bad, I believe this is probably one of the hardest phases emotionally, but we have made it through the hardest physical stuff with chemo, we will make it through this as well.

    I am not too worried about how I look, people will have to take me as I am, but I see three beautiful smiles in the pictures above - once you have your smiles back you will all be lovely regardless of hair and rings round the eyes.

    Well p*ssed off about being told I have to wear a sleeve all the time, and not sure I will do it.  Interested that Jules, yours is not all the time.I can't helping thinking that I am still healing after the rads and the body has an amazing way of finding other pathways when you damage it.  If you put a sleeve on and do it for the body will it heal as well?  I may also just wear mine for walking, exercise etc (I don't do housework I have DH for that!)

    Had a phone call from mum (tactful as ever) who was horrified that I have red and white tulips in my front garden - she says red and white flowers mean death and I must plant something yellow in between to separate them.  Going to leave them there just to be pigheaded - if chemo didn't kill me I am not about to be afraid of a couple of tulips! Although maybe I should paint the white one another colour just to stop mum worrying.

  • pasmithx2
    pasmithx2 Member Posts: 224

    PennyCookson--I'm feeling the same way about the sleeve. I can't tell if it's doing anything and it bugs me. But the LE therapist said that losing any nodes immediately puts me at risk and that never goes away. I may think I'm fine now but it could fire up even years in the future. She said that the body can adjust but the lymph system is always compromised. There are other serious issues that can still crop up even with the mildest LE, so it shouldn't be ignored, symptoms or not. Depressing, especially since I ended up with 0/28 nodes. D@#^ surgeon should have left well enough alone.



    The woman who measured me for the sleeve said that it isn't essential to wear it all day, every day and some people will use it at night. I've done that instead of wearing it all day.



    I saw the therapist today and she did some manual drainage. That was interesting. She used a machine that set up a vibration whenever she touched me. The massage moves the fluid and the vibration enhances the massage. She also gave me some self-massage to do to help keep the fluid moving. It's very subtle so it may take some time to figure out if it's worthwhile. The bottom line is that it's easier to prevent than it is to fix once it moves in.



    The therapist told me that swimming is fabulous since the pressure of the water does great things for LE. I wish I liked swimming more. I do exercise regularly and I suppose I should use the sleeve as the therapist suggests although that's when I most hate it. She also suggested a rebounder--a mini trampoline. Apparently bouncing has significant positive effects on LE. They're not cheap so I'll have to think about that one.

  • deedee2
    deedee2 Member Posts: 78

    Hi ladies,

    Just wanted to say hello and catch up with everyone. Sounds like everyone is moving forward and that makes me so happy to be a part of a group of such strong and inspiring women.

    I saw my MO yesterday and had my 90 mins herceptin treatment today.  Things are going good with me, my MO put me on iron pills yesterday. I'm 13 weeks PFC and my finger nails are still very brittle and most have seperated from my skin. My brows are growing back but the lashes are not growing in as fast i asked my him for a prescription for Latisse..hopefully that will help. 

    Pasmithx2-Glad you had a good time on vac inspite of the heat. I also read somewhere that post chemo breast cancer patients are more pron to falls. I wonder why that is? I've noticed my bones and joints achequite a bit and sometimes i feel wobbley as if i am about to lose my balance, so far no falls tho. 

    Kymn-Sorry to hear the rads are making you so fatigue. Before i had my mx i was going to have to have rads, so i met with a RO he told me I would become more fatigue with each treatment :-(

    Colodisneylover-Your armpit sounds PAINFUL..i hope the cream is helping.

    Lilylady..Lilylady, you sound like you have gotten it back together despite what those docs said.. and you haven't even gotten the happy pills yet...I know you will be just fine. 

    Maria - Glad you are working out again. I know how much you love working out.

    Stilts - Good luck with the remaining 32.

    I'm thinking of all of you... have a good evening all.

  • mdg
    mdg Member Posts: 1,468

    Dee Dee...Latisse worked well for me.  My lashes grew super fast and SO thick.  I didn't lose mine until about 8 weeks PFC and now they are better than before chemo.  I had lashes within 2-3 weeks (long enough to wear mascara).

  • Silia
    Silia Member Posts: 265

    I feel like such a slacker that so many of you have completed rads (congrats Maxine!) or are in the midst and I am guessing rads won't start for me until Oct.  Will know more tomorrow when I meet the RO.

    It's amazing that so many of us are struggling right now.  Kay, I can totally see why you'd be disappointed since you didn't achieve "zero cancer" from chemo as they'd said.  When I got the call from my onc two Fridays ago that the MRI showed significant reduction in the size of the 2 tumors (one almost disappeared), he was saying "these are fantastic results" and I think he was disappointed in my reaction.  It's hard to explain but I was really emotional but not really happy...  I think part of the emotional rollercoaster may be because we spend so much energy "keeping it together" that sometimes we need to have these mini-breakdowns before we keep on keeping on. 

    I just started reading a novel, Little Bee (which has nothing to do with bc).  Here's a line I read today that brought tears to my eyes.  I know many of us are traumatized by how we're looking.  This resonated with me and I haven't even had surgery yet!  The character speaks a version of the Queen's English.  She says:

    I ask you right here please to agree with me that a scar is never ugly.  We must see all scars as beauty.  A scar does not form on the dying.  A scar means, I survived.

     I am so grateful for this thread and each one of you.  Sending hugs...

  • lilylady
    lilylady Member Posts: 478

    Silai-I know exactly what you are saying. When i got my bad news last week I had already cried thru 2 different dr appts. So then i had the BSappt to get drained. She remarked that i wasn't my usually cheery self. injust told her my herceptin infusion made me sleepy and the fact I was getting stuck 4 more times with needles just had me more quiet. I knew if i tried to tell her waht was going on I would start crying yet again.

       So Monday I told her the bad news i got and she just looked at me funny. "she said you knew you were Stage IV from the very beginning so what is the news there?  You knew that oligometastatic was "potentially" curable so no news there either. You have reduced your cancer to a few MM mets  you should be grateful and praising God and chemo."

       I just looked at her and said-thru damn tears "Look i have done everything I have been asked to do and been a rock thru the whole thing. I have never whined or complained to any of the doctors. I DESERVE to grieve and be mad and cry for a few days and it isn't your right to tell me how I should feel". She agreed and apologized and said I will still live a long good life I will just be chronic cancer as opposed to curable or NED. Whatever!! he saaid we are close to being done and she won;t be a part if my after tx life except for the port removal. since I am chronic I may have the port for a very long time.

       So we all need to release the emotions and be damned to those whu say you look fab-hard to believe you are sick?? or why are you so down you are almost done?? or how can you be sad now when you have been thru all the bad stuff already??

  • PennyCookson
    PennyCookson Member Posts: 356

    Thanks for the advice paxsmith - will behave myself and wear my sleeve when I get it.

  • mdg
    mdg Member Posts: 1,468

    Silia thanks for sharing that. It offers a different perspective which "frankenstein" here needs.....



    I also was disappointed. .With only stage 1, blmx and chemo you would.think being cured may be possible. No one has.ever used that word with me. I always hear "treatable with long term outcomes". I hate that sentence....... I found a support group in my area and I am going to try to go to their next meeting in a few weeks

  • Kymn
    Kymn Member Posts: 887

    Hi ladies, thanks for all the encouragment and great advice. Lily lady your right we have a right to our emotions and it does piss me off when someone says something stupid like that. Just makes me want to sit in a room by myself so I dont dare offend anyone with my silly emotions.Yell

    another thing that I find very confusing is this term CURE that the doctors are now using instead of remission. Why do they say you are cured when so many in my stage or a bit higher end up getting it back and its now stage 4??? If they were cured please someone explain to me how that happened. Using the word cured to me is just a way to make those around you feel better it really doesnt realive my stress.

    Anyhow on a good note I had number 20 today for rads only 13 to go then I am outta there. My Onc released me to my family doctor ,dont know if I said that already, it kind of makes me worry most women keep seeing their oncologist for at least a year. HMMMM

    anyhow I am going to have a great long weekend camping, fishing , and napping lol. I hope you all have a wonderful long weekend

    Hugs Kymn

  • Stilts
    Stilts Member Posts: 228
    Just so TIRED of being TIRED !!!...can't even figure out if it's being PFC, getting up and going to radiation every morning, the radiation itself, starting the Arimidex or just getting old !!! My ONC told me last week that the next 6 months will probably be the hardest emotionally...what fun !!!...wish they had counseling for family members so my DH and DDs would know how to deal with me !!! I guess sometimes you have to look back and see how far you've come...time for a nap !!!
  • mdg
    mdg Member Posts: 1,468

    Stilts...I did not have rads and I was tired recently for several weeks.  I found that now that I am back to exercising I am not as tired as before.....I am usually never tired like that.  I am sure it is due to the chemo taxing my body....

    Have a great weekend Kim! 

  • lilylady
    lilylady Member Posts: 478

    6 weeks PFC-3 weeks post surgery and I think I am finally feeling human. Isn;t even bothering me that the rads have to be delayed. I feel my energy levels creeping up every day. Nowhere near what they were but so much better than they had been. Have not fell over needing a nap for days now. Not sure if it had become a nasty habit or I really needed it...

  • pasmithx2
    pasmithx2 Member Posts: 224

    re: fatigue--I find it's a delicate balance. If I succumb to the fatigue and do nothing, I get sucked into it and end up feeling like death warmed over. If I choose to fight it and do my normal activities, I seem to have more energy and feel pretty good. The key is to give myself a break and recognize that I'm not good as new. I do need to back off occasionally. The key thing is that I have to focus on what I *can* do rather than on what I *can't*.

  • Suebee48
    Suebee48 Member Posts: 24

    Haven't been checking in a lot lately but so glad I had a chance today. I started rads this week..did 3 out of 29 treatments so far. I was freaked out yesterday that the RO ordered more x-rays: he wanted to see more of my spinal cord. Right away, I thought the worst, that he had seen "something" ominous. So glad to hear that others get x-rays too. (Still won't feel reassured until I see him on Tuesday) I have some much ugly ink all over me that I am no longer able to wear v-neck or scoop neck shirts.

    I have been a blubbery mess for the last 10 days or so. I'm working 5 days a week and then heading to rads after, which means sitting in traffic for an hour or more both ways. This doesn't help matters much. My game face "slipped" at work Weds which I hate! Spend my time at home crying and staring at the messy rooms...so sick and tired of being sick and tired.

    I, too, was shocked to have cancer left at surgery time. The ultrasound had indicated that the cancer was gone from my nodes but I had 2 positive nodes, when originally it was only in one.  My 60ish doctor thanked me for setting a personal record for him: he removed 33 nodes (one arm)!! but this has meant a lot of pain and very little ROM for me.  Originally I was given an 85% survival rate  or more but apparently it's down to 70% and he seemed to think he was being generous...

    The only positive note is that my hair is growing in well. Nice eyebrows and even some baby eyelashes. But my whole body is covered in tiny bumps that my friend has convinced me is just hair trying to push it's way out...I dyed my head hair 2  weeks ago with an ammonia-free dye but it washes out very quickly...already needs to be re-done. Not complaining though, cuz just happy it's there. Friends love touching it; it's incredibly soft. Someone told me to take vitamin B12 to make hair grow faster. Has anyone tried this?

  • deedee2
    deedee2 Member Posts: 78

    Hi ladies,

    Mdg - Thanks for the info on the Latisse. I'm going to start using it tonight.

    I didn't have rads either and for some reason i have been feeling tired also. My MO said it is from the herceptin, I don't know if it is residual from the chemo or a little of both. I try to keep moving and not let the fatigue get to me.

    I have a birthday this coming Tuesday so my family and fiance have several things planned for me this holiday weekend, I'm gonna try to keep up with them and enjoy every minute of it. I used to say my b'day was just another day, but after this bc I've learned to cherish each day and especially be thankful for another year of life  :-)

    Kymn - Have a good time camping & fishing.

    Ladies have a great holiday weekend !!!!

    Hugs