March 2011 chemo-lounge
Comments
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Silia, anyone would be overwhelmed with all that. (((((hugs)))))
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Hi All! I hope you are all getting into the holiday spirit a little despite all the BC crap! My one year cancerversary came and went last week....how much difference one year makes! Last Friday I had what I hope will be my last reconstruction surgery...so in other words, I got nipples, areolas and a mini tummy tuck for an early Christmas present this year. Surgery was a breeze...no pain at all. I have not taken any pain meds. My BFF came and helped out since there was no way for us to juggle my DS and surgery without help. I don't know how the nips look yet...they are still bandaged til Monday. The tummy looks good though. That was a bonus especially since my son was almost 10 lbs at birth (my tummy never looked the same after that!!!). I am pretty ready for Christmas. I have only a few more gifts to pick up tomorrow and a few on their way in the mail from online shopping. I have wrapped everything I have so far and Christmas cards were sent the first of December. I actually feel organized despite moving last month! Crazy. This week I can get a lot of baking done as I can't workout yet post surgery.
Chrissy - sorry about your sis.
Silia - saying prayers for your family. I am sure you are emotionally spent by now...hugs! Happy Bday!
Fluff - happy bday! Hope it was good!
Husker: puppy is adorable! I am sure you are enjoying having her around......so sweet!
As far as the cancer fatigue...I was really tired to for a while but I started taking lexapro and still take xanax at night. I am sleeping so much better and feel so much better. I can't believe how much more rested I feel with less anxiety going on. It has really helped me have more energy. I hope all of you have less fatigue soon...it is draining for sure.
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Silia-ou need a break! I hope things even out. I was just thinking that we get our kids all settled and then we have parents health to address.
Mdg..congrats on the tummy tuck. Was it lipo? I am not as ready as ou are but pretty much finished shopping today and am going to wap tomorrow night. Daughter get hom on Frida, so I am on a mission now as we have a huge family wedding that she and I are in on december 30. Between december 23rd and january 1, it is one big party of some kind or another every day and night. It is going to be fun, fun, fun.0 -
Silia - you poor thing - big hugs
Maria - last surgery, wonderful to be finished - bet you look gorgeous
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Oh I am sorry I forgot to say Happy Birthday Fluff Queen!
Congrats on the last surgery Maria!0 -
Fluff they removed 4 cm of skin from my stomach to use my c section scar to create and graft areolas. They did a tiny bit of lipo but that was so little it was not noticeable. I needed fat grafting on righty because there was a small divot above
my implant. No more divot now! It looks good. I am glad surgeries are over. I just hope I like the nips.....can't wait to see them on Monday.0 -
Silia - So sorry for all you and your family are going through. Congrats on being done with rads. Now your skin can start the healing process.
Fluff - Happy late b'day to you..i hope you are having a ball. You and I are on similiar schedules, we had our exchange surgery on the same day and we both will be done with herceptin in March. I had a treatment today..March can't come soon enough.
Mdg -Yaahhhy..no more surgeries for you, what a relief. I have one more to go. I think I'm going to schedule it for the first of the year. I've got to get the nipple done and the side where i got the lift need a small implant to match a little better. Maybe i can talk my ps into giving me a little tummy tuck.
Best wishes to you all and yes Penny we are going to have a great 2012 no matter what comes our way bc has made us stronger.
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Silia,
When it rains it pours. I am so sorry you are not seeing the end of all the stress, appointments, etc. at least you have some experience to draw on when talking to doctors. I hope that can come in handy.
Maria, you are literally a whole new woman!! Whoo hoo!! I'm glad you had your friend to get through everything.
I read on another website that the most stressful anxiety-producing times for BC gals are right after diagnosis and right after treatment ends. That sounds about right, for me, anyway. I am not feeling much in the Christmas spirit yet, although DD2 came home for afew days and did most of the decorating. That was a major stress reducer. The family (husband, 3 kids, and son-in-law) is going to Florida (me too!) the day aftere Christmas, for a week. I sooooo need a vacation!
I was reading one of my earlier posts. I meant to write something about taking Neurontin for neuropathy, but my iPad changed it to "taking neurotics"!! Is that Freudian or what?! And you were all so kind to not even mention it ;-)0 -
Taking neurotics!! I love that!
Thanks all for the support and virtual hugs. This too shall pass... I think if I can catch up on some much needed sleep, I'll bounce back to my resilient self. On the plus side, I got my mom out of rehab today and she's back home. That feels great!
Maria, I'm so glad that you're all done with reconstruction. That's awesome.
What will we all do with our free time in 2012?!
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Silia hope you bounce back soon! Enjoy your Christmas.
In 2012 I plan on catching up on chores around the house, painting, organizing, redoing my kids rooms and for fun scrapbooking, photo albums..
I started doing photography this past summer so I am loving my new camera and taking lots of photos.
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I think I need some Neurotics. Just when I think there is no more to be done, my wound is infected so antibiotics and lots of fluid again.
Plus positive for blood in my poo test so I am scheduled for a colonoscopy and gastroscopy on Thursday - really I have had enough leave me alone!
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Oh Penny, what a pain in the butt!! And boob! Gosh darn it,these side effects and issues have got to stop! 2012-year of fresh starts for all, okay??
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Husker...i agree. I am totally stressed out over the thought of no treatments and no follow up tests. And, i am glad no one says anything about my typos from my ipad. I get going, miss letters and hit send before I realize what a mess it is.
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Sorry for the troubles Penny. Sending all my good vibes for a clear colonoscopy and having the infection cleared up. I know exactly what you mean about thinking it's behind you and then getting hit with something new. When I was feeling better from surgery, I developed LYmphedema, a pretty bad case. Then when I finished rads and think I just have to finish the herceptin txs, and I get a bad echo. I don't think I am going to let myself relax and feel it's behind me any more. At least for a while. Getting another echo on Monday, hoping everything is back to normal.
Have a great weekend everyone.0 -
Penny- sorry to hear about all the complications. I keep telling my DH, if the BC doesn't kill me, the treatments might!
Husker: I agree, fresh starts, or at least the feeling of a fresh start, in 2012. It never ends, but let's hope 2012 brings more good news than bad, at least!
Silia- thinking of you!
fluffqueen- I am scheduled for my mammogram in January. It sounds so banal: my annual mammogram. Since I had a single MX, I'm hoping they only charge me half price!
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Husker: I still have some neuropathy but not bothersome enough to start taking Neurontin...I am about 4 months PFC so I don't know if it's going to get any better than this.
Have been hitting the exercise bike more regularly...makes me feel SO MUCH better...just wish I could STOP baking...I'm going overboard this year and have a freezer full of about 10 varieties of cookies....I bring trays of them into work....fattening the whole dept. up !!!
Have been requesting evening shifts at the hospital and I don't feel a bit guilty when I "sleep in"...think it's helping this recovery phase.
Have a physical on Tuesday with my internist...will probably get an echo etc....will be interested to see how much effect the chemo has made on heart function.
Looking forward to having both daughters home on Thursday...looks like we will have a brown Christmas in Minnesota this year !!!
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Stilts,
I am 6 mo PFC and the neuropathy has gotten much better, but just when I think it's gone,
I start getting a tingling or numbness, usually in feet and/or toes. I started the Neurontin during chemo because I had it early on, I think after the 2nd treatment maybe. At that time I was taking it three times a day, along with L-Glutamine powder, but cut out the powder several months ago and take the Neurontin twice daily. After I see MO this Friday, am thinking that might get
cut back further. I was told that the neuropathy can also (like fatigue) take upwards of a year or more to go away or at least decrease. I also read that it also helps with hot flashes. Mine are mild, but maybe that is why?I need to start exercising. I was walking but then it got cold, sigh. Baking sounds like better use of my time, at least for this week! Never feel guilty about sleeping in. I am a night owl but it has taken me way too long to make the connection between my staying up too late and being wiped out by 2:30 the next day. Hmmm...pretty dumb for a smart girl!
I will have my kids home on Saturday. Also, my parents and my sister, BIL, and their two kids. The day after Christmas we are going to Florida for a week (just kids, husband and I).That is our Christmas present, since I got to go absolutely nowhere (oh, except for a week on a band/choir trip on a bus for 33 hours!) this year. It looks like it will be brown here in Nebraska too, which will be okay. That means no flight delays!
Best wishes with your physical and echo...mine was good three months out. I don't know
if/when they will do more. Am thinking a good one means it will stay that way. I can always hope, anyway!Kristy
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I have a little neuropathy, not bad. It had completely cleared up and came back though. I asked the onc about it. She thinks maybe the cold weather caused it. I forget her exact reasoning, something about the cold weather shrinking the nerves and maybe they got disconnected again. She said since it resolved before, it would probably resolve again.
I go tomorrow for another echo. Last one was down 15-20 points and they put Herceptin on hold until it gets better again. I'm kind of nervous about it, just really want to hear that it is back to normal.
Good thing is there is so much to keep my mind off it at this time of year. Hope everyone is enjoying the holiday season. Penny, hoping your tests come out good too and that your infection is clearing up. Silia, thinking of you and your mom and MIL too. And sending everyone else hugs and good thoughts as well.
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I love you guys! Thanks for all the good wishes. Penny and Kay and Maxine (and anyone else I may be missing), hope your tests are easy with great results! I just started on Tamoxifen 2 days ago so I'm starting to check out some threads with Tami info - figure I need to educate myself (this feels endless...). I'm on an eating jag but I suppose it's related to feeling overwhelmed and depressed. Am trying to get in the holiday spirit. Speaking of neuropathy, I definitely had some finger/toe neuropathy with Taxotere but thought it was long gone. However I've had numbness on my outer thigh (more on one side than the other) since mid-September. I'd think about it, think it was dry skin (though it wasn't) -- didn't know what to make of it. Finally Googled it and came back to neuropathy. What the heck?! I guess I should be happy that it's not pain. Hoping it will go away eventually. As many of you have said, it doesn't end... Hugs all around!
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It does feel good to be done. I get to see the nips tomorrow...I have my post OP appointment. I am crossing fingers all is healing well under the bandages. After my appointment, my son and I are spending the day in downtown Chicago enjoying the Christmas festivities and lunch. We are taking the train in so it will be stress free.
I am glad most of you are finishing up with things too. In 2012 I think we should just have no more cancer talk and just talk about other stuff in our lives. I plan on getting started on my business again (it has been on hold since BC dx last year and moving....) and decorating my house. I am thinking about training for a half marathon too. I also just applied to be a peer to peer BC counselor for a local organization. This would allow me to be a support with someone going through a similar diagnosis that I had. I also applied at the local cancer center to teach some fitness classes or do some public speaking about diet/exercise for cancer patients. Hopefully someone from one of these organizations will call me in the new year. I would love to pay it forward. I do know that I also committed to do some type of BC fundraising in 2012.....I don't know what I am going to do yet but I have to look into that. I guess 2012 will be pretty busy, hu?
What else is everyone else going to focus on in 2012??? Are we going to have to start posting New Year's resolutions too???
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Well, if I only have a few more days to talk about cancer, I better do it now. I am joining the ladies with delayed side effects. I breezed through rads, but now I have a nasty rash on my breast where they gave me the boost. I will be calling my RO this morning for advice. I'm also having pain in the arm and shoulder on the side they gave me chemo. Sure hope it's nothing and will resolve in time.
Penny, good luck with the colonoscopy. I'm having mine on Wed. So sorry to hear about the infection and fluid. Fell better soon.
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Jules - sorry about the rash and pain, I am sure all of this will resolve we just need to give it time. hoping for clear results Wed.
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Well, I went to see my RO about the rash. I was ready to ditch her because I thought I wouldn't need her...after all, I came through rads without so much as pink skin. Now she tells me I'm having a delayed reaction brought on by the use of Tamoxifen. Swell. I could go off Tamox, and it will clear up in 5 weeks. Or I can stay on Tamox, and it will clear up in 5 weeks. She did give me some cream with lidocane for the discomfort.
I'm prepping for colonoscopy today. It's not even 7am and I'm already thinking about how hungry I am.
Penny, hoping you'll get neg. results on Thurs. as well.
Maria, I think it's great you've applied to be a BC counselor. I've often thought I might like to do something similar, but I'm not quite ready yet. I guess I don't quite feel I have put it behind me yet.
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Good luck Penny and Jules. Hoping for clear results for you both. The lidocaine really worked for me during rads. I hope it does the same for you. Not even pink, wow! I was beat red, but no pealing or blistering. Finished Nov 11 and other than the tattoos and missing a nipple, I look normal.
I am with you on not being over it yet, and I know everyone around me is tired of it. Just had another echo yesterday and really thought I was going to be back to normal, but no change. Now I have two pills to take for my heart and the first one is at a higher dose. It's not that my heart is in that bad shape, but they want me to continue the herceptin, but ptotect my heart. I hope they're right about continuing the herceptin. My onc had a baby on Nov. 27 and is out until February. I really wish I could ask her if she thought this was the right thing, it would make me feel better about it. The cardiologist says it is. I am supposed to get the infusion on Thursday. I am so nervous about it. And I haven't really been nervous about much before. Maybe that's a good sign?
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Jules and Penny-my PCP is all over me about the colonoscopy thing also. Told her I would take care of it sometime next year. I am not taking time off work right now for that. Hoping for good results for both of you. My scans show some things they would like to look at but they said it wasn;t anything abnormal for someone my age.
I have 5 more Rads to go-3 this week and 2 more in the week after Xmas. My skin is pretty uncomfortable rigt now but nothing I can't get through. They would like me to take a break but I am determined to finish this year. Guess this means I will be closing the door for the lounge as far as active cancer tx. I will be continuing on Herceptin for the forseeable future-until my cancer figures it out or it eats my heart muscle up. There is a new Her2+ drug from Genetech that hopefully will be approved in the near future. It is combined with herceptin-supposed to give a longer progression free survival time. They also claim overall survival time is better also. It is also going to cost $8000 per tx.
I will ask my onc to look into his crystal ball next week and see what 2012 will bring for me. He spoke recently at a "moving on after cancer tx seminar" that I attended. It was put on by the American Cancer Society. They are looking for volunteers for their BC mentor program but you have to be a year out from tx before you can do this. One lady who spoke had BC 24years ago. All her BC friends were there with her-kind of like a cancer posse. They go out and talk to newly dxed women...and I think that's a great thing but to have my hobby and free time be about BC 24 years later-I just don;t think I could do it-or want to do it. I DO feel like I have something to offer because my story has been such a positive example of aggressive tx-and I tell it well. I have spoken to several groups so far and it went really well and I felt great about it. Not sure what role I will take -if any-right now I just want to put it behind me and have it just be a small part of my life.
The part that he spoke about that really intrigued me was that there are 2.5 million survivors out there that can band together and make changes that could impact us all. One day I will write out some of the things he discussed that I hadn;t thought about before. It was a pretty thought provoking program and he is a great speaker so I am glad I went.
One of the first (and truest) things I read on this site in Feb after I was dxed was "prepare to give up the next year of your life to cancer". I thought how can I squeeeze in cancer with everything else I already do?...funny how that works out-a lot of what didn;t get done this year really didn;t need to be done at all anyway. The new year is always a time to reflect back on the year that has just went by-and people keep asking me "What big thing did you learn from having cancer?". I can't really come up with an answer to that..what do you guys think?
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Maria and LilyLady - great to hear you are doing stuff to support other BC ladies. I have tended to focus on just individuals rather than the group thing. I have a couple of ladies going through treatment I go and see. Giving one of them all my scarves and wig today - I have to tell myself I am NOT going to need them again. One lady starts chemo on 23rd dec - awful.
I can't promise not to talk about BC next year. This is the one place I feel I can talk about it which saves my family/friends from the conversations. But it should take up a fraction of our time next year compared to this one.
I have learnt:
That we are all going to die sometime and that becoming aware of that really does make you treasure what we have now.
That while some people are careless and hurt you that there are so many people that love me and have supported me.
That you can laugh at almost anything ( and this from a woman about to have a 6ft pipe shoved up her bum)0 -
Reposting something Penny wrote last summer:
... if its not going to recurr then I will feel pretty silly in 5 years if I have spent them being miserable and worrying.
If it is going to recurr I am not going to waste the next years being miserable and worrying so all up I might just as well say stuff it and be happy.
It's really helped me put things in perspective....it's great NOT thinking about BC every day...think that is the major improvement I have made in the last couple months !!!
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LOL at all the colonoscopy talk. I am going to get one in 2012 too. Joy! I thought I would not need one for a few more years but now I do because of BC and family history.....I can hardly wait. I guess if we don't talk about BC we can talk about colonscopies! I have seen them done a thousand times....I use to sell medical devices to gastroentertologists so I would hang out while they used my devices in the endoscopy. If you have any questions....I have watched a zilion colonoscopies. I have never been the patient though.....From what I know, the prep is the worst. Cleaning everything out before the procedure is what all the patients complained about.
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Well, I have had two colonoscopies but now am free of that "pleasure" for five years. My husband actually had his the week before mine, at my insistence. His dad had colon cancer and his older brothers have all had issues so there is history. I had to bulky him into doing it and of course he came out clear, for which I am relieved. But darn it, I was not going to go through this with him if a minor lil ole colonoscopy could make sure all was well!
Kay, how is your lymphedema? Did it resolve? Are you getting PT? I have it in my lumpectomy breast and armpit, just a little bit but what a difference therapy has made. Didn't know how uncomfortable I really was. Getting a sleeve for travel only. Am slightly (okay very) annoyed at my PS for telling me I didn't need to worry about that because i only had three nodes removed. I just saw him a month ago. So ladies, we are all at risk. If you haven't been evaluated, ask. If you travel, comsider a sleeve. My therapist was almost in tears over how doctors are so negligent and/or uneducated about this.
Penny, I wish I felt confident enough to give hats and wigs away. I did pack them all up yesterday. Hope i can make that next step soon. I have been asked by my nurse navigator if I'd be interested/willing to talk to triple negative patients. Since we TN's are not eligible for herceptin or any of the hormone meds like Femara or Tamoxifen, it reduces our arsenal to fight this. That can and is a scary thing. Not sure if I am ready to do that yet, but if she has someone in mind I know I will agree.
Am going to ponder the One Big Thing that I've learned. Maybe I'm still learning! Will have to get back to you on that.0 -
Penny- thanks for the laugh! Sorry about your bum! How are you doing? Has the infection gone down?
I have to say that coming to terms with my mortality has been probably the biggest thing I have learned. Every time I get down, I remind myself that life doesn't last forever; it's quite liberating for me. You're right, I am learning to appreciate what I have now and to cherish my kids. They are so precious and still so innocent. And I also realized I NEED to laugh more. Any suggestions?
Husker and mdg and lily and jules: goodness! all of these colonoscopies! Maybe I should request one
Husker: I am getting a sleeve, too. No signs of LE yet, but the specialist insists on my using one when I fly.
kay: my onc was on maternity leave for 3 months earlier this year, so I saw a different onc. It was actually kind of nice to get a different opinion/perspective, so you may want to visit with whoever is filling in for yours.
stilts: those reminders should be our mantra every time we are getting down!
I haven't given my hats and scarves away, but I did bag them up and put them in the garage. Don't want to see them anymore. I would like to give them away, definitely.
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