After Radiation
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Ducky I hope you have a great weekend with your family.
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LOL Gina-"flailing around braless"! I know just what you're talking about.
Mary(a Double D)
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Ducky - Have a great weekend and btw my kids do the same thing on holidays - come a day before the traffic starts and leave the day after.... My counselor told me - at the end of the day write down one good thing that happened and start a list, so when I have a rough day I can remind myself of all the good things.... some days are harder than others to think of the good things, but it seems to help me...... and I understand about your DH... my father passed 37 years ago of cancer of the pancreas.... when it comes close to that day or holidays...I find I'm in "One of those moods" ...it hasn't gone away after that long...once I recognize what is happening and have a talk with him (in an empty chair) and I try to move on.... I need to make sure I chat on those days with my friends and family....and not be alone!! You can PM me anytime maybe we could skype?? I do understand....
Have a great weekend!!!
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Gma..........thanks again.................your a good friend..........amazing my husband had pancreatic cancer too..................I am going to leave in about 10 minutes, just wanted to say I will have that talk to my husband tomorrow................the day he died...............and then move on .God knows I do have so much to be thankful for..................you have a gread weekend dear friend, and i will talk to you on Sunday...................hugs.
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Hi Ladies-
THank you so much for the welcoming messages. I am now one week and three days past the last radiation boost. Man- those were powerful but they are telling me that the boosts will prevent me from having another surgery (just to make sure, since they did not get clear enough margins on one side of the tumor).
I am hoping I do not have to worry about that but have heard I should get another opinion.
ANyway, I am starting to see improvement in the affected breast. It feels much better with the medicine patch they recommended. The redness and blistering is almost gone. I really feel sorry for the poor old girl- been through so much. I am crying three out of five days now- at the drop of a hat. I think Rads was very isolating for me- they were so quick and so I never felt I would need anyone to drive me (very close to home anyway) and it seemed a waste to have anyone there so I did them pretty much without support. Also, even the short time laying there- waiting for that sound and that red light- even though I told myself (and my breast ) that this was HEALING light, I was terrified to be receiving RADIATION that was pentrating MY body! Also, everything went so fast from January on, and rads was just this everyday routine thing....it built up in me and was then able to be let out - all that I had been through 7 months of all this trauma. I think that is what the tears are about.Being strong for five minutes of rads everyday for seven weeks is not the same as gearing up for four and five hours of chemo every three weeks somehow- so I am STILL crying a lot. Taking another month of sick leave and disability from my teaching job but not sure I will be readyon October first either!!. Need to heal myself. I still also have brain damage (that is what I am calling it) from the chemo- I have trouble with word retreival and putting sentences together sometimes. I feel a mess sometimes. I asked my onc if I could go on longer disability though and he said, "This is not from the chemo or the cancer- this is from depression or stress- so you will have to go through your primary care physician for extension on disability..." Is he kidding? NOT from chemo or cancer?? Okay- just the STRESS and DEPRESSION from those two. Geesh! Also (I have read all of your posts so am responding to all here), I have itching on my breast and chest also that drives me crazy sometimes. The swelling (0/3 nodes) has been helped by the lymph therapist massaging that area and all the areas around it. It still bothers me but is better afterward. She has helped me to learn how to do some of it myself too. THe chemo induced nueropathy in my toes is wierd- but the therapst said to exercise using a tennis ball- she said roll it around under my feet as I sit and watch tv. I haven't tried it yet! She said it needs to be reconnected to my brain. Right now I lose my balance from this problem as my toes don't want to support me!
I am still feeling the trauma pretty heavily and I want to honor that in myself. Doing therapy for that. Doc says get on anti depressants but I told him I like being drug free for a change...
I hope everyone of us sees improvement and never has to go through this again!
At 59 years old, I am really ready to retire now~
Good luck to us all!~
Elizabeth
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Ducky - Sweetie - we are all entititled to pity parties. Hell, I had some the day before I one year cancerversary. I didn't know just what to think of it all and how to handle it. Someone had sent me a tube video that had a very beatiful song on it and I cried my little eyes out. Before BC I would not have done something like that. Then, for you to have to deal with the anniversary of your DH's passing - well, I have nothing to bitch about. So what if you want to go there and whine - it is okay and all I want to ask you is "What kind of cheese would you like with that wine?" And then I would put my arms around you and give you a big hug. We are all gonna make it through this and all the other things life tends to throw at us.0
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I know I haven't posted on this thread before, but I thought you guys would support the pity party I'm having today. This weekend it will be one year since my dx. I actually got the dreaded call on the Saturday of labor day weekend last year. I will say that my year has gone by so fast, even with the chemo, BMX, radiation and exchange surgery (revision surgery to come on 9/19). So I started trying to get caught up on my non-cancer checkups that haven't been important during this last year. I went to my skin doctor for a full body check last week (started doing that in 2009 after my SIL was dx with melenoma) and got the call today that one of the two spots she removed is skin cancer! Granted it's basal cell carcinoma, so it's the best kind to have. No big deal, just go back and have a little deeper section cut out and then back to yearly followups. But I thought . . . OMFG! I'm sick of that cancer word! Ok, I feel better already. Now I can move on to celebrating the fact that I'm in a much better place (mentally and physically) this labor day weekend compared to last! Thanks for listening, ladies! I hope everyone's holiday weekend is awesome.
Take care,
Kathy
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welcome yizbieta and so glad your healing. Rads can do a number on our skin. I'm so sorry that your MO is not taking a stand on helping you through this depression as it is very clear that cancer caused it. duh sometimes Dr's frustrate me.
Kathy welcome and sorry about the skin cancer but so glad you are in a better place this labor day weekend than last year. Glad you came to join us.
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wow!!!!busy without me again...well i had a problem too.breast swelled soo much i thought it was gonna burst.and the pain.OMG.and i was supposed to go for my first mammo today.guess what???no i did not.goin to the BS tomorrow.went on the i hate LE thread and the wonderful sistas told me what to do.today i feel much betta.
just wondering if this mammo brought this on????could that be?????
you sistas have been doin a fine job in helpin each other.Poor ducky!!!!!
dont remember if i welcomed the newbees.if not welcome.we truly are sistas here.
this DD cannot go braless either.AND im back to the compression bra (harness)
are we havin fun yet??????
thanks for the prayers for the mammo i didnt have..now please pray she doesnt put drains in this poor boob.....huggggggggggs and God bless K
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KSteve - I could have joined you on the pity party just a few days ago. I just went past my one year on Aug 30th. Wasn't sure how I felt about it and did not really want to deal with it. I am also in a much better place than this time last year. I never would have thought that the day would come when I woke up one morning and did not think about cancer - well, it happened this morning. What a pleasant feeling.
So sorry you are having to deal with that darn cancer word again - skin cancer. Sounds like it can be taken care of relatively quickly - but it still is another one and this too shall pass.
Congratulations on your one year cancerversary.
Sending you hugs
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Granny-I guess I'm confused.....how could the mammo cause your swelling if you didn't go for the mammo??
Whatever caused it, I hope it goes away soon.
Mary
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Mary--to answer your question...stress brings it on...stress brings everything on and on the LE thread they said if i was real upset and i was last week it can cause inflamation...everything tightens up....it is a little strange that im sooo much betta today...just a lill food for thought!!!!
yeah what ever caused it i know i have to go back to PT and wearing the harness at least for a while....Thank God its not soooo hot anymore.
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Bumping for janinnj - she had her last rad treatment today.0
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Janinnj: Welcome to the After Rads group....Let the healing begin
.... Be patient with yourself...it gets worse before it gets better.... We love you and Congrats!!! 0 -
Thought I would share some good news with my sisters.... my son called me this week and was able to offer me a stay-at-home computer job... he talked to his bosses and they ok'd it... my husband is also merging his business with his friend's business and his friend is going to beable to write him a regular paycheck.... even though our finances are in the pits...we can at least pay our house payment and living expenses....God is good!!! We went to a credit help place last week and they told us we couldn't go bankrupt because we had too much equity in the house...even though we couldn't get to the equity.... with some regular paychecks that might change and maybe we could get our payments lowered... Again God is good!!!
All my SISTERS - have a great holiday weekend!!!0 -
GMAFoley-That is wonderful news!
God IS good all the time and all the time God is good.
Mary
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GMAFoley- perfectly normal...my ribs were sore and swollen for months...in fact, I have only just started wearing my favourite bras again (I do not wear wire bras two days in a row though)...go for a massage....one specifially aimed at raining the lymph fluids and moving it. That was what I believe hyelped me most. I also did physio exercizes as my shoulder was killing me and all bras ended up diggin in o my shoulder...although there is now a noticable size difference between left and right, for the first 6 months after radiation, they were the same size because of swelling. Find a good support camisole ( walmar, $14.00) and be gentle with yourself. and repeat..his is nrmal. my body is healing...swelling helps protect the area.
changes- mine trunk and arm were as you describe...hurt like the blazes too. massage is a huge help
sagina- i said the same thing to my dr...that i could not breathe...didnt understand as i had not gained weight etc...it was the swelling....makes sense really. our breast and the area surrounding it are radiated...i had o remind myself that when i have had sun burns, those areas were also swollen
Elizabeth18- yes!!! I was an emotional basket case during parts of radiation..one meltdown a week ( and one REALLY big one when I lost it on my boss)
Jo- congratulations a couple of days late.....yay one year cancerversaries!!
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Ducky, GMFoLEY- you are allowed to cry, swear, rant, rave whatever you need here....there are days I sit and stare at my wall and have to force myself to get moving so I don't get depressed....sore boobs, hard boobs, no boobs, uneven boobs....all lousy options really. Telling yourself that day that you are lucky to be alive helps but only so much...fear weighs in and so does anger...but that is good. Let the anger win and spur you on to try new things...dare to go braless or find a tank top that gives a bit of support like an all day hug!.Things will ge better...they will...they are...but this thing that has become our first year out of surgery has a life of its own and it takes us down some interesting paths. Be gentle with yourselves. Be there for your family but be there for yourself too. What would you say to your closest girlfriend if she were going through this and not you? Say that to yourself....and ask us to say it as well. Rrepeat after me my friends, " i will be ok"... As a dear friend of minse says when the sh*t hits the fan...."thank about how much you are growing and learning. what a wonderful opportunity!"....I know I know.....but it helps.
Kathy- good for you for going to get checked!!! Because you did and you hav told us, I bet a whole bunch of us will check now! I am very freckly/moley and I keep an eye on them all the time...last thing this pale skinned gal needs!! but if you had not checked you wouldn't know so GOOD FOR YOU!!!
Granny- yep we are having fun...at least we are all here fighting and telling the tale, hmm? sorry you are back in the compression bra!....I just took my bra off...realized I don't have to wear i when I am at home so..not going to!
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well I went to the BS today and she said i do not have LE.she said she looks at breasts every day and i do have edema.I have it under control as the sistas on the LE thread told me what to do and I only have to wear the compression bra if i swell up.
my mammo will not be for at least 3-4 weeks and ill be calling for a new PT after the holidays.AND stress plays a big part in all of this....
goin away for a few days to catch my breath.
I see we have a newbe...welcome.you will love these sistas.
Gmafoley---good luck with the home job.
JO JO----hoping you get some rain sista!!!!!
enjoy the long weekend and dont think of the beast.do something nice for yourself....I will thats for sure....stay safe and God bless.huggggggs K
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Grannydukes- yep...stress plays havoc on our systems....my friend in Ottawa said she notices that she has more hot flashes when she gets stressed....all makes sense. Perhaps our bodies swelling because it wants to cry hmm? Keep on doing what you are doing. It will get better.
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UNSTRESS EVERYONE....yeah right....easy to say....my family swears that the beast wont get me the stress will...so why dont they leave me alone?????every little shit they have to tell me and then they say see your stressing...hello!!!!!!!
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Granny and ducky; I guess I'm glad to hear that swelling is normal. I've been wearing a prosthesis to match my DD boob and it is so heavy. I've been getting more swollen and wonder if I'm just over doing it. I'm so uncomfortable all day long, but I'm a teacher and feel I have to look half way normal and symmetrical everyday. I'm having little pingy pains in my neck and by my clavicle. Is this stuff normal.
I went to the dermatologist today because I have 2 bald spots that are sore on my scalp. She thinks it is left over from a rash I had a year ago. I got 2 shots into my scalp. The fun never ends!
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JoJo-Thanks for letting me know about nthis thread. and thanks to everyone else for the welcome.
I came through Rads without too many problems and consider myself one of the lucky ones.
GmaFoley-Thanks for posting your encouraging words over on the Aug Rads thread. I know we all need a little encouraging word from time to time to remind us why we are putting ourselves through all of this. Great news for you on the job front. My DH got down sized from the company he had worked his way up through for most of his life and of course noboby is looking to hire a over 60 when there is so much talent available in todays job market. It hit me like a ton of bricks at first until I stepped back and realized we would be okay. We won't lose the house or anything but it leaves me to carry the insurance etc so I can't let anything happen to mt job with all of this. Sure wish we had a national insurance.
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janinnj - Come here often - there is so much good information here and from time to time we can get wild and crazy.0
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Hope everyone is having a wonderful long weekend!
~Mary~ yes flailing breasts - I went one hour without a bra when I started rads, I got out of the drive way, the very bumpy driveway (on my way to dinner) and started crying....I drove to a department store and bought my first cotton bra....and I wore it out....thank goodness the clerk was understanding and had a sense of humor!
~Jo~ Can't wait for the end of the end of the month...any details yet on how many?
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Gina - I don't know yet. I follow several threads and will post something on there and try to get a "head count". I will ask for a response by the 15th of the month that way you still have time to put something together.
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Jo, Sandee, I'm back from the shore.......came up yesterday to avoid the traffic..................What a comfort to find both your messages..........Your such good friends..................We sent up our balloons on Friday, and watched as they went out over the Bay............Notes were attached, and off they went....................A man standing on the beach said "you known you could be killing dolphins with those balloons".......................In no mood for him I said " And what do you plan to do with those fish you have in that pail.....eat them or mount them"............."either way I think you just killed them,"................my daughter told him to mind his own friggin business...................It was a nice weekend..........my last till next year, but some how when I left this time I "took a few more minutes", "wondered a little more if this would be my last time", got in the car, and 1 block down the street "Wind Beneath My Wings" came on the radio, (my husband's favorite song) and at that minute I knew everything was going to be ok....................My grandson turned and said to me "Nan, Poppie's here, he always knows the right time to come doesn't he".
Thanks dear friends for always making things easier to handle..
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((((((((((DUCKY))))))))))
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Ducky: Thank you for sharing your beautiful story with us.
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I finished rads 1 week ago. I had 24 treatments and 8 boost. Didn't have and real problems just some sharp pains now and then especially under my arm. My lymph nodes were clear so I asked on more than one occasion if they were rad under my arm and was told no. It wasn't until the next to last boost that the skin turned very dark. Now the skin is breaking down under my arm. My question is "when receiving whole breast rads did you also receive radiation under your arm even though your lymph nodes were clear?" This concerns me.
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