INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours
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DD's toys are happy the tree is up. Sadly, I didn't put the Misfits out this year...too much work. Rudolph and friends will have to wait until next year. Sorry pic is fuzzy...hard for me to hold i-pad steady.
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I have been fed and am now going to try to sleep. Can't say "going to bed" since I haven't left it all day except to pee. Last night I was awake a lot because I was so thirsty. Finished off the drink I brought to bed, probably 8 oz, then fixed another liter of my Sodastream drink (mango-berry) and drank all of that, barely had enough to take my thyroid meds at 6. So DH (bless him) made up 2 liters and brought me some. (He also ordered my wig, and paid xtra for overnight as penance.) Tomorrow is the team lunch, where I will get to see familiar faces again and meet new team members who have been praying for us. Then Thursday chemo again.
When my pastor visited last week, as I was walking him out, he noticed that our gutters are overflowing. I told him the church had sent out a team to clean them in the fall, but the leaves have shed since. Today I got a call from his assistant (also a BC survivor) who said they are scheduling another time to come clean the gutters again. We have such an awesome church! Able retired people volunteer for these tasks for folks like me. These are the same kinds of folks who arranged a schedule of drivers for me during rads so my family didn't have to take me every day. How I wish every cancer patient, especially the lifers, could have this kind of support.
Our Christmas tree has been going up very slowly between cousin's full schedule and DH's recovering right hand (and me). It is now up and lit. Trying the new LED lights that you attach at the top and drape like a tent. We haven't got them tucked in yet, no ornaments. DH brought the village down and we will put it up next week. We haven't had it up in 6 years or more, I asked special this year because who knows? They indulge me. I miss being able to bake for the holidays, I loved that so much. Perhaps when I'm at my laptop I'll post some pics of Christmas past. We used to put the village under the tree with a train and all.
Shep, I shared the video with my cousin, whose favorite bird is the Canada goose, and she sat there ooohing and ah-ing as she watched. Loved loved loved it twice over again.
I have been taking the 2mg Valium the hospital neurologist prescribed (the ones about which my PCP said "How cute!") and I'm not sure they're helping with the spasms but I'll pay better attention.
That's all I've got. Hope you don't find me checking back in later
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Mags, I thought the smallest Valium dose was .5. That may be why your PCP called them 'cute'. I'm sure you could safely take more if it helps. Check with your doc.
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Loverly, I'm with Shep..I want to sneak in your house and play with your OCD. I wouldn't make a mess, though, I would just move things around a little.
Shep, That's great that FoFF has made so much improvements. No...my paperwork specifically says no heat on surgerical site for a couple of weeks. I have been icing, while buried in blankets.
MammaRay, How is sweet DS doing?
Feline, I hope you are having a great time at your Christmas dinners.
Mags, Sorry for the rough day Monday. Beautiful wig you picked out. I bought a wig I liked, but then didn't wear it much..too hot. I mostly wore scarves and hats. I hope the lunch tomorrow is enjoyable. Good luck with Chemo Thurs!
Junie, I SO hope you get your baby this weekend! Maybe the breeders would come to you?
Sensi and Lita, Nice trees!
Mommy, Maybe you're getting the cold that we have now...Today was a high of 7, I think, but colder with the wind. Tomorrow AM wind chills below 0.
Hi Miss Wren!
I had check up with MO yesterday..we were so busy talking about stuff that we never went over blood work that I had done right before seeing him. Guess I'll read my results in the on line system. Anyway, here's a recap...Feb-Oct I was taking Aromasin and getting monthly Zolodex shots (to shut down ovaries). I was taken off both in Oct due to severe joint pain. The joint pain is better, but not gone. I had been on Tomoxifen for 3 months last winter and I know MO was considering putting me back on that. I asked if the joint pain was permanent, and he felt that with time it may get better. I asked MO about trying a different AI in combination with Zolodex and he said he is concerned that the Zolodex is the cause of the joint pain and he talked about the balance of treatment vs QOL. But, he understood my need to try another AI before going back to Tomax. (The combined treatment is supposed to give me better long term results.) I told MO that I felt like a failure when I had to be taken off meds two months ago. So, yesterday I got a Zolodex shot and I started on Letrozole. I also got x-rays of my hands and will be consulting a Rheumatologist on the 23rd. Did I ever mention that I hate constant change and limbo?
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Loverly, I think it's funny that I've also been known to rearrange things in stores but my house is a mess. I've never lived alone, so I can't say it's DH for sure, but he's certainly a prime suspect. I would alphabetize the spices if he would let me. We have a whole cabinet full of herbs and spices. I think we could cook a meal from any country with the spices we have on hand. DS once told a friend we don't have any food, but spices for anything we might buy. Epizote to zataar, we have it.
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Mags, I hadn't put up a tree since 2012, but not because of BC (Dx'd this last April), I just didn't feel it in 2013-2015...too much going on w/work, getting a new rescue dog, etc. Plus, it's SO MUCH work!!! I forgot how long it takes. Putting the decs. on the tree is relatively fun...looking at all the ornaments that I have made, collected, received as gifts, etc., for over 25 years, but now I'm almost dreading when I have to take it down in a few weeks. Possibly sooner, this particular tree has more needle drop than I'm used to.
The trees we've bought in years past always came from this one nursery, and their trees lasted a good 4 wks with water in the tree stand. Hardly any needle drop at all. Sadly, this nursery will be going out of biz soon because the land it's on has been bought for another use, and they aren't selling trees this year.
The tree we got this year is a Nordmann Fir. They are supposed to be more resistant to diseases than Noble Firs and Douglas Firs, and have less needle drop...ha ha, we got one that has needle drop. The man at the tree lot said that for some reason, all the Nordmann firs seemed to be having that problem this year. We checked all the ones he had, and some of them would just shed MAJOR needles when you ran your hand thru a branch. We tried to pick the one w/the least needle drop. I really like Noble firs, but they're way too expensive for our budget, and Doug. firs can be pretty sparse in terms of their branches. A nice bushy tree, like a Nordmann, is easier to decorate cuz it doesn't need as many ornaments to fill in the "bald" spots.
Can't believe Christmas is less than 2 wks away. Gonna try to wrap a few presents tomorrow. Leaving the cookie baking until next week when DD comes home from college. My hands tingle, burn, and ache from hand and foot syndrome, so really have to pace myself. Can't put heavy boxes away (well, they're lighter now that I've taken out decorations)...DH has to do that, so living room is still a mess.
Not sure I'll have a tree next year...can't project how I'll be feeling (achy bone mets, etc.) and whether or not I'll have the energy.
Try to enjoy the season, ladies...I know some of us are really suffering these days. But what else is new?
Lita
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Lita, for some reason this Christmas I am not in the mood to decorate or have the tree up. I am thinking maybe because of all the work involved plus we won't be at home during the week of Christmas.
I feel bad for you ladies with side effects from treatments. The price one pays to slow down or put out the wild fire.
WildT, that ain't right to mess with an OCD person like that. That ShepK is a bad influence.
Shep, you look marvelous in that pic in front of Elvis' home. Hot mama!
JunieB, oh boy. Hope the weather forecast is wrong. We want to see pic of Kirby in your home this weekend. Regarding the probiotics- yes you did mention it before. Mitzy's current food has probiotics in it. Just received the order for the Honest Kitchen yesterday. Interesting looking food. Just realized this one does not have probiotics in it. Need to order some now.
Eyes are getting heavy and DH is bugging me to go to bed. Nite nite. Morning Feline b
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Mags my son was in our national TV and Radio broadcaster's children's choir (Cór na nóg) from age 9 til when his voice broke. They used to do that song each Christmas. Chills. Spectacular. Never could find a recorded CD of it and the choir never recorded it themselves. It is a fairly recent poem and fairly recently set to music.
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Just sitting here enjoying my morning coffee. Contemplating my housework for the day since I did all the laundry for this week yesterday. Just saw the temperature we are going to have tomorrow night and it will be below zero so I know I am not going out anywhere
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Mags, if you find the answer to the muscle spasms please let me know. Mine are getting worse daily. Not only the thoracic plague ing you, also thighs, feet arms...everywhere. And my lab is perfect.
I have a beautiful blonde wig, about that length you can borrow until your new one comes....you know what they say about blondes. Call or message me and I will run it over to you.
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Shep, I've been meaning to say..I guessed Graceland right away, even though I've never been there. Great pics, and I bet it was really interesting!
MammaRay, I'm so sorry DS is struggling, but yea to grilled cheese. Sad your ovaries had to be shut down at such a young age. Your tree looks pretty! Regarding your Q..I had a challenging childhood, so honestly don't have many great memories. The times that I remember being fun were the times I spent with friends..playing hop scotch or hanging out, but I'm not sure what age. Probably early elementary..between 6-10.
I'm not going to join in on the tree pics..mine would drive Loverly nuts! My DS helped me decorate it, and he clumps ornaments together. Some areas have several, while other areas are bare. Admittedly, at first I wanted to re-arrange, but now I just smile at it, because DS put his time and love into decorating the tree.
Take care, everyone.
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Lucky you, Spookie!
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Oh she's such a brat! Her sittin there on her porch with her shorts and flip-flops, drinking a sweet-tea! It's 17 here and the sun is shining!
While the rest of us are shivering! supposed to get worse around here... I'm with Tulip.... I can't remember many good child-hood memories....
I became happier as I got older.... too much stuff for little ones to go through... and you either choose to forget, or someone watches over you, and doesn't let bad things hang on to your life..... You become happier the older you get.... and it's still that way!
I just remember always being with my "little" Brother.... We were always trying to dodge our Parents and their fighting over every little thing.... But we had each other.... and still do, even though he is in Nashville, and I am in Denver... We tease each other on FB all the time! There is a sweet bond between siblings I think!
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Went to lunch today for my B-day. It was snowing, but I never thought it would get so bad. Sat on bus home for 2 hours and we managed to get about 1 mile.
Fortunately friend I was with was able to get a hold of her daughter-in-law who picked us up and drove us to a motel for the night. The bridge to my part of town is closed due to the snow.
Wow, quite the excursion just to go to lunch.
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So Spookie won't have to
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Brenda, I will happily take you up on your offer. Maybe we could squeeze lunch in too. I'm getting neulasta Friday since my labs tanked last time so hopefully I won't crash again
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I forgot today is Wacky Wednesday.
Looks like Siamese Tigers to me than a lion.
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Ms. Spookie, I was looking at the map feeling envious of your nice weather and then noticed the year it was printed! Uh huh.
Mags, how did you know she likes green? I like Chopin too. As a matter of fact I am listening to Fantaisie en Fa Minuer now. I am grateful I can still hear despite how noisy the tinnitus is right now. I was hoping it was low potassium/magnesium level. That would have been an easy fix. Spasm of 10++ is brutal. Wonder if Botox would work. Ha! Could you request for 5 mg Valium?
Ms. Wren, you too?? How funny. My DH can be messy. You should see his office. Needless to say, it is my least favorite room in the house. Growing up with seven siblings, the house was messy most of the times and then on the weekends my uncle who lived with us would have his friends over to drink beer. In the morning I had to clean up all the beer cans and dirty dishes, not to mention the toilet...oh the physics of drunk male urination. Both of my parents had to work long hours so being the oldest I was stuck with the cleaning.
So MammaRay, I wish I could tell you what my greatest childhood memory is. I think l also have selective amnesia. Most of the happy times were outside of my home when I was with friends exploring the outdoors and the nearby neighborhood with little care about time. Climbing trees and picking fruits or flowers from neighbors' yards without getting caught were some of my favorites activities. Yes, I was a rascal (glad my girls don't turn out like me). Of course I always got in trouble with mom afterwards for having no concept of time.
WildT, how are you healing? Internal stitches still bother you? Hope you get your energy back soon. Wishing your body tolerates the new meds better. When are you due back work?
JunieB, sorry you got stranded. Is the outing to the zoo tomorrow or was it supposed to be today? You know I thought about possible thyroid problem with Mitzy too. She is always hungry and still skinny looking even though we increased her good portion. Maybe it's just what she is mixed with.. I am thinking hound because she runs like one. Anyway, with hair loss, I though it is more common in hypothyroidism. Who knows? She still scratches ( probably from drier skin with the heater running). No new rash though.
Sensi, how is Tamoxifen treating you? Can you now sing not the hair on my chiny chin chin?
ShepK, I forgot what I wanted to tell you. Oh yeah..,hearing loss with Tamoxifen. You should ask Ms. Chevy. Is FoFF home from hospital?
Mommy, you are spoiled. Your DH sounds like a wonderful guy.
Peppy, how is DH? I think our next hike is on the 21st of January.
DD will be home tomorrow. Yay!
Nite nite. Good morning ,Feline.
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He is when he's not being a P.I.T.A.
The cold temperatures don't bother me, but when the wind starts blowing it makes me want to hide in a warm house like it did this morning when I took the dog out
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We had our high temps earlier and the temp is dropping during the day. It was 25 when I took my dog out. It is down to 21 right now and with the winds it feels much colder
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🎶I'm dreaming of a white Christmas 🎶🌲 0 -
MammaRay hope your son is home soon.
Best memories
Summer and Autumn fruit picking with my Grandpa all through my childhood. Strawberries, Loganberries, raspberries, gooseberries, apples...
and
the time my father caught a glimpse of Santa's shadow, and those of the reindeer, crossing the moon. My father was not given to fabrication or fantasy and to hear of this that my father had seen Santa and seen reindeer fly was a big thrill. probably age 7?
What is/are your favourite memory (ies)?
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My favorite memories are:
Getting out of the last day of school early before summer break started to make the long trip back to Wisconsin to see my family and there.
Early dismissal from school due to snow
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Junie, I'm so sorry your lunch turned into an unexpected hotel stay. Did you make it home safely?
MammaRay, I hope you are feeling better and DS made it home! I'm with Feline..your turn to share.
Feline, Such sweet memories you shared.
Loverly,What is the cause of your tinnitus? I'm so happy for you that DD1 is home with you! My energy is much better, and the internal stitches are healing. I still get "owe" moments when I move a certain way, but it is much better!
I saw my therapist today...always a good thing! Take care, everyone.
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MammaRay hope you are feeling better. So glad to hear your little boy is home.
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I'm with some of you....I have pretty crappy memories of childhood. Won't share them here now....too close to Christmas, and I don't want to bring anybody down.
So, I will share a somewhat "happy" memory from my young adulthood: Getting the hell out of that physically abusive/alcoholic childhood home and getting my own damn apartment.
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Got my grade back on my final portfolio for the class I just finished. Looks like it was an A
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MammaRay.... It's okay.... I think it's sometimes good to think back, and hang around those memories awhile, because you can then look around, and see how far you have come!
When we are little, we just think everyone else's family is the same way... we don't know any different!
And yes Lila.... Everything that goes with Dad's always being drunk, and Mom's always being mad, kind of stays with us.... In MY case, being accidentally dropped on my head during an acrobats class, and then being ....... oh well.... I don't know how to put it. But having amnesia can either be brought on un-knowingly, or by head trauma....I think.
Maybe as little girls, when something terrible happens, even just once, your mind, or some built in "escape door" closes off, and protects any more hurt, or memories from taking over! SOMEtimes many years later, one little thing, can trigger those memories, and they can just drop you to your knees sobbing. And you cry for that little girl that you were.
Then again, you come through it, after wanting to go after and dis-member those that have HURT you! But it's usually too late to do anything about it.
So we grow up, making new memories, and kicking out the crappy things we remember, and hanging on to the ones we love.
I am so happy & fortunate, that my folks moved away right after I met the guy I married almost 2 years later... I lived with my Grandma and drunk Grandpa.... But we finally got married, and built our OWN lives... promising to do everything different than the way we were raised. HIS family was the same! I don't honestly know how we made it!
Later on, visiting my folks or seeing them every year, my Mom passed away.... It was only THEN that I learned to love my Dad... and treasure him as part of my life.... I only had him 1 1/2 years longer... But during that time, he started calling me almost every day.... crying about how he missed Mom.... How he would reach over to Mom's pillow.... but she wasn't there..... It just broke his heart..... ALL THAT DAMN FIGHTING AND MAKING EVERYONE MISERABLE, and he was sorry.... I was the only one he had left, and I was so far away....
My Brother had just given up on him.... and wasn't very forgiving.... But I started loving him, like most girls love their Dads'.. We would spend time together talking, about silly things, about him being in Hiroshima 3 days after the US dropped the bomb... And how cantankerous he was, and thought he was such a ladies man..... He WAS, but that's another story.... But I loved those times alone.... and our phone calls..... then how sick he got, and everything falling apart.
At least I had that time with him! And those are the best memories of my life... was how much I learned to love my Dad. So it wasn't my childhood memories, it was growing up and getting beyond those un-happy years..... and for that I am grateful!
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MammaRay, I hope you have a better day today! Don't feel bad..although I can agree with and relate to everything Chevy said, I am very proud of the fact that I broke the chain of history. I have given my children love, security and acceptance. The fact that I am a really good mom to my children is my biggest and best accomplishment in life. That is a really sweet memory you shared! I love that your father woke you in such a creative way. I try to make small, random moments (later to be memories) for my children. I leave notes in backpacks, or on their pillows. Sometimes I use window crayons and write stuff on the bathroom mirror..that kind of stuff. It's really the small moments that are the best memories.
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