A place to talk death and dying issues
Comments
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I already have my reserved spot beside late DH. It's a beautiful cemetery, nice trees and flowers, 5 minutes away from home. Very traditional but I like it. I insisted on having my name engraved at the same time as his. Won't have far to go LOL. Xavo, my DH also died of brain cancer. It will be 7 years on the 25th.
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Rosevalley and others who love trees and are entranced by them, I feel the same. This has been one of my favorite poems since I discovered it as a very young woman:
Trees by Howard Nemerov
To be a giant and keep quiet about it,
To stay in one's own place;
To stand for the constant presence of process
And always to seem the same;
To be steady as a rock and always trembling,
Having the hard appearance of death
With the soft, fluent nature of growth,
One's Being deceptively armored,
One's Becoming deceptively vulnerable,
To be so tough, and take the light so well,
Freely providing forbidden knowledge
Of so many things about heaven and earth
For which we should otherwise have no word-
Poems or people are rarely so lovely,
And even when they have great qualities
They tend to tell you rather then exemplify
What they believe themselves to be about,
While from the moving silence of trees,
Whether in storm or calm, in leaf and naked,
Night or day, we draw conclusions of our own,
Sustaining and unnoticed as our breath,
And perilous also-though there has never been
A critical tree-about the nature of things.0 -
hey to all,e still at friends in jersey going home this afternoon, n if I knew where the tree was I would go take a pix, u swarthmore college is about 20 min from me.
I am sorry for all the issues u r having. Every day it is something, yesterday it was the oxygen they gave me didn't have all the parts to it, plus it was squirt n I need continuous flow.
Anyway they raised the pain meds which is morphine with oxyicodone as breakthrough. 90 mg every 12 hrs.
Breathing is getting harder to do.
Ok it is illegal to put your ashes in dw but of course that is where I want mine, told kids specifically where to put them n at Daytona beach n they said they want some so be it but can't see sil keeping mine the, can't stand him n visa versa.
Friends husband bought me lunch so I wilder look at it.
Hang in there loves I will b thinking bout u.
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Tina 2 Thank you so much for such a wonderful poem, I love it and wrote it in my journal, I too am a tree lover. Planted trees all over the world in my travels. Words cannot even touch what I feel when walking through the woods. I too draw and paint trees. When I die my daughters have found this burial tree program in which they give you the container to put ashes in and begin the growing process inside then transfer when larger and sturdy to a place they can later go and sit under. Some of my ashes will also go into the ocean and hopefully eaten by a whale then when they poop it out and thousands of years later some one will walk as I have along the shore find this amazing rock which has formed from the whale poop and they pick it up and I find myself in someones living room or in a garden etc. I have over 20 of such rocks that are thousands of years old, I love them.
When I die I want to have peace and quiet and would love to have my soul and spirit live on a nebula somewhere like the Carina Nebula or Omega/Swan nebula M17. I have the longitude and latitude of such so I can navigate my way there.
I've been reading about what some of you ladies have been going through with the removal of fluid. I've only had it done once for my left lung but am keeping notes for the future, from what has happened to some of you and what should be done has helped me and my care taker prepare for the future if or when such is needed. Half of my left lung has collapsed and I have five tumor in the left lung two which are in the pleural going through towards the heart. Actually Blondiex46 I have cancer in all the places you also have cancer in and more but like I said before this trial has kept me stable for the last six months. I don't know how to put those things onto the bottom of these when I post, I'm not so computer savvy in this area. I've been on 100mg of morphine the liquid solution that they call roxanol five times a day and am allowed as much as I want for breakthrough pain. This allows me to be so much more alert and able to function normally, my family thinks I'm not taking it because it never leaves me druggy or sleepy. It just takes my pain level down to about a 7.
I love all you ladies this is the one place I can come and read and really feel that you all understand what I'm living with and I can see that I'm not alone during this journey. Thank you for your time and consideration. I appreciate each and every one of you, you have made many times in my life better, richer, informed and helped me through some dark times.
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Before I forget, and sometimes I post and later think, Oh! I wanted to mention this and that and that....
Here is the link to the website for Spíritree: http://www.thespiritree.com/ "The Spíritree is a biodegradable urn that transforms into a living memorial in the form of a tree. The two-piece container is composed of an organic bottom shell and a chemically inert, weathering ceramic cover. The bottom piece holds the cremated remains within its internal concavity, while the top part protects them from dispersion. When planted along with The Spíritree, the growing plant gradually feeds itself from the biodegradable bottom shell, and the calcium-rich cremated remains. In due time, the protective ceramic cover is broken by the growing tree, which becomes the actual living monument to the loved one's remembrance. The Spíritree is designed to celebrate any loved one's memory, be it human or pet, and will work with either cremated remains or remains from cryomation."
I've included this info in my death and dying file so my husband can plan for this option, if he wishes to do so after I die. I've told him that if he wishes to keep an urn of my cremains around for a while, so be it, but only if it brings him comfort. When he dies, if he still has my cremains, I wish for them to be buried through the Spíritree urn.
How wonderful that I have learned so many of us are tree lovers! One of my earliest memories of finding sanctuary during a turbulent childhood involves my climbing up inside a huge willow tree, sitting by myself, and watching the world of nature from a safe place. Trees have always represented safe harbor and more for me. Tina 2, thanks incredibly much for sharing the poem. I especially liked, "Freely providing forbidden knowledge/ Of so many things about heaven and earth/ For which we should otherwise have no word..."
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Rosevalley, you are from west Philadelphia! I worked and lived there for a few years. I was in the Brynmar area, back fourth to the college along the Main Line. I was on the Swarthmore college campus only a couple of times. I did not even know that it has conservation land, let alone being there exploring. I was diagnosed and treated there for the first round BC. Once the treatment completed, I moved back to Mass. I have been to Oregon, too! But only once. A friend dove me from Berkeley to a small town near the border with CA in Oregon, where her parents built their last home on a piece of 20 some acre forest land. We passed through quite much forest land and stopped at the tourist attractions. I was especially introduced to the redwood trees. They are huge! I was in awe! I am sure the tourist stuff ruined the original beauty of the forest. But still! Tina, love the poem to the trees! It reminds me of the sublime great trees I saw in north CA and south Oregon that time. I can fully feel the calmness and tranquility, the sense of eternity and transcendence that in your heart when being surrounded by the old growth and giant, giant beautiful trees. I bought a redwood jewelry box from the trip. Later I put my father's old watch in it after he passed. My parents did not own any jewelry. Sweet Lindar I am so sorry that your DH also died of brain cancer. Since it was 7 years ago, he must also died young. I am so sorry that you are dealing with the disease after all this. Blondie I am sorry that you are breathing heavier now. Can you have this problem checked out? You should be able to be comfortable with the service, right? You looked great in your new photo. M360 and all, painless and comfortable tonight.
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Rose, you/we face some tough choices in living with intention at the end of life, don't you/we? I wonder about the best "strategies" for maintaining dignity and integrity as we lose abilities and become less independent, even about how to maintain compassion for ourselves as we would for others.
suersis, I agree with Rose that the adverse event that occurred with the RN cutting your Pleurx tubing should be reported. I wonder if she had established her competency with this procedure, which should be a must for any home health or hospice organization. I recently gave feedback and made a formal complaint to my oncology practice when an RN punctured my port tubing, which required going off warfarin and having an urgent port removal. The end result was a change in multiple policies and protocols, so I am more hopeful someone else won't have to experience what I did. Hope you don't mind me giving my feedback on that.
Blondie, I am keeping you in my thoughts with hope for pain relief and improved breathing. That goal of yours--to make it through the holidays--has lots of my mojo attached to it, and I imagine the mojo of others as well.
Hortense, what a challenge to face a decline in activity and to contemplate that both on the level of the lesser activity itself and on the level of its symbolic aspect. We intuitively know we will decline and we intellectually know that we will die, yet it is hard to grasp how that might look and feel to us on a very intimate level. You are gracious to share with us your experience, and I hope you know we respond in kind by caring.
M360! A whirlwind is definitely the right word for your recent experiences--fire, evacuation, emergency surgery, hospitalization, home clean-up, etc. I'm so grateful on your behalf that you have the support of your caring daughters and that you have stable scans in the midst of all that is happening to you. I wondered how you were doing, and I so appreciate you checking in with us.
To ALL who post, I continue to think of each of you with intention when I read your latest. To ALL who post and all who check in, may you find some measure of comfort, solace, hope, compassion, or whatever else you might need when you stop by.
Keeping you in my thoughts....
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Xavo- I'm from South Eastern PA. Funny my bus stop to school was at the end of Plush Mill Road... you could walk up to the Quaker Study Center Pendle Hill. This was before they built the "blue route" behemouth thing. Now you hear the roar of traffic; when I grew up there it was quiet. Some freeway noise. That area behind Swarthmore College used to be wild and lovely near the creek.. I spent a zillion hours there as a kid. I would walk my dog Annie and go sit and listen to the pigeons coo and the bells toll in Clothier Hall, then walk down to the creek and play with the dog. I picked a lot of daffodils which grow wild! The trees are beautiful in Swarthmore, lush and well cared for. Tina- love the poem! M360- I have a pretty nifty collection of shells and rocks too! The littlekid in me never grew up... when I told my DH I wanted an amethyst he bought the big open rock - not jewlery. Perfect!
Yep Brenda.. re; suersis and the cut catheter- I would report that episode if for no other reason then further training. That catheter placement costs over 10K and what does your health and risk of infection cost? Training can fix that. Trying to maintain some equilibrium during all this fun in cancerland.. that's the hard part. My tumor markers went up to almost 700 from 627. My onc says only 3 doses of Herceptin and now they should start to drop. Hope springs eternal.
If I am going by the way I feel then... hmm I think the tumor markers got it right. My feet are driving me batty the neuropathy is so irritating.. does xqeva and herceptin effect that? Ascites fluid is increasing. Suersis- you are blessed that fluid removal causes no pain or issue. You know I needed to edit this to add some good things. Two weeks ago I woke up with sciatica so bad I spent most of the week flat in bed. Crazy painful. I was worried my spine was collapsing and I would end up incontinent from all the bone mets. But nope the numbness and pain have stopped - I tweaked something and now it's better. I had some radiation to both hips and left shoulder and that appears to have helped some. Although undrneath my left arm is tight maybe the radiation has flared up the lymphadema i have already in that arm. So as usual it's a mixed bag of blessings and irritation in cancerland! I saw` that Stella got her wings. Some of her posts from a year ago were so pain filled and frustrated they made me wince with sympathy. Her suffering was raw and open, yet she still tried to comfort others. Stella is free from pain and suffering that is a blessing.
May we all be free from pain and suffering. Holding you in the light Blondie and Hortense. (((Hugs to all))))
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Suersis, popping in as an old nurse. They're is something more serious going on here with that nurse than being unfamiliar with the catheter. Have a chat with her boss. Something is fishy. Can't believe she's licensed. She's either the sorriest excuse for a RN, or she's not an RN. Wherever I worked an LPN would not be allowed to do that procedure, not sure that applies across the country.
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M360 I wish you pain control or pain cessation. Everyone else, I hope you have the best Veteran's Day ever.
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M360...so sorry for such a rough time but thankful they were attentive to you fast!!! Just saying my thoughts are with all, always. Keep forgetting to say I love your pic, Blondie...makes me smile & feel the love. Linda..I have somewhat the same resting place as you. A beautiful place, small hometown where DH and I grew up, trees & flowers. DH & I have plots there. My mom "gifted" them to all of us kids when my dad passed in '93. It wasn't strange for us, since we grew up in a small farm town, with big families, where we were always putting flowers on graves, washing headstones, drinking beer, sometimes making out, in the cemetery :-). It's a place of peace & love for us & even our kids & grandkids feel connected to it...best hillside to roll down..did it on July 4th w/grandkids. My happy place is floating in water...so if it weren't for our plots, I'd ask to be scattered in the ocean.
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Suersis, that company needs to be reported for allowing an unlicensed person to perform a skill that only a licensed person can perform. Not just a complaint to the boss. The boss knew or should have known. The principle is Respondeat Superior (responsible superior). They have breached their accreditation. Call the company and ask for the name and phone number of the accrediting agencies. They should have included them in your packet of materials given on the first visit(check your packet first). If the company refuses to provide the numbers we can work from that point.
Anyone that knows the California numbers ,please, post them.
Suersis are you covered under Medicare? They have an 800 number. If you are covered under Medicare and the home health agency didn't provide you the 800 number and explain complaints re: the company are to be reported to Medicare, they have breached Federal Regulatory Law.
Please, tell your doc it was a CNA. He will not be happy. He/she will likely go through the reporting too.
Important that you both report.
Please, do not just say oh well let it be on this, she could have caused your death by infection. If you don't report someone else may be killed.
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Whew.. a CNA eh? Oy. I don't know what to say. I can't believe that is who the home health agency sent. That is just off the wall.
May everyone be pain free today and as comfortable as possible. Hugs to M360, Blondie and Hortense especially. Peace to everyone.
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Hi Lovely Ladies,
Well, I've been officially bed bound for 4 weeks today. I keep thinking...if only I could walk... I moved in with my daughter, that's been a bit of an adjustment as well. It became apparent I could no longer be on my own and take care of myself. I've grown weak, my muscles have atrophied. Again, if only I could walk.
I'm under the care of hospice now. Sponge baths are the norm and trying to keep the pain under control. For some reason I "googled" Brittany Maynard today, and I want to do some more reading on that and what I can do.
I updated caringbridge today as well, and somehow I feel all the pain meds have slowed me down too with my postings. I try hard though....😔 Thanks for checking in on me there.
I wonder how much longer I have and what the end will be like. I guess I'll find out soon enough.....
Take care everyone!
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Hello again Lovely Ladies,
I'm not able to get comfortable tonight. I sleep in a hospital bed now, which is not comfortable. I use a commode daily (24/7) for 4 weeks now. And on top of all of the pain, I have nausea. Ok, I'm done complaining....
I just went back and read all the posts I've missed. Sorry to hear about Calico, and sorry to those whose hearts she touched as well.
I saw some mention of DWD, which is coincidental (I don't believe in coincidences 😉). Is there a topic or thread on this subject?
Rest well, T
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You rest well, too, Skylotus.I am up late if you want to talk. I don't know if there's a DWD thread, I always thought this thread comes the closest! What a good idea, perhaps someone can take you up on that. I hope you are ok, and the pain isn't too bad. Hospital beds are the worst!. Rose's Rx was asking about you the other day on our crazy town thread, I will tell her you are back. Take care
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Sky - you are so sweet to let us know how you are doing. I'm glad your daughter is taking such good care of you. Sending you love, peace and hugs.
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Skylotus- I don't know where you live or if you have access to DWD in your state. I am so glad hospice has stepped up and you are with your DD's even if it is in a hospital bed. Thank you for letting us know how you are. If sleep is an issue ask hospice for meds to help with that. I wish you restful and painfree days. (((hugs))))
I hope for pain free days for Hortense, Blondie and M360 and any one else needing extra loveingkindness and peace.
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Skylotus, so glad to see you posting! It seemed everything is under control and taken care of. Just relax. Do not regret that you felt no longer being able to walk. If you do not feel comfortable, tell the nurses. They are supposed to make sure that you are comfortable. As for wondering when and how it would end, according to what I read years ago (an essay in The New Yorker written by a leading oncologist who was raising the question if the doctors were well prepared/trained by the medical schools and the teaching hospitals for caring the patients at the end of their lives - a 23 year old girl who was under his care and dying of MBC asked him how exactly she would die and the following was his answer), before the end occurs, you will slip into coma. All will be shortly completed without your consciousness. So do not worry. As long as you are conscious, the end is not there. As for not being able to walk around, please take it easy. It's only natural. We came to this world without the ability of walking as little babies whose sense of time is much stronger than the sense of space. When we are leaving, we becoming babies again with a stronger sense of time than the sense of space. We notice everything that takes form of time - the tree leaves coming out, turning greener and greener, and than turning yellow, red, purple; we heard the winds, rains, and even snow; children left for school or work, husband left for work or moving around; time to cook dinner; the smelt of dinner ... things like that. The difference is, babies are only aware of the sounds. We understand what the sounds mean. Relax and enjoy the natural course of life. Every minute in one's consciousness is the meaning of life. You have accomplished so much. If the time of resting and relaxing comes, let it be. Wish you comfort and peace.
My warmest regards to Rosevalley, Hortense, M360, and Blondie as well! Hope you are comfortable today.
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Skylotus, When you said you wondered about what the end of life would be like, I wondered if you meant what stages or signs you might experience as well as what kinds of issues might arise. Some people generally experience a slowing down, sometimes gradually, sometimes more quickly, in which they eat and drink less, become less active, feel more tired and weak, need more assistance with ordinary tasks of living, sleep more. Some people become more detached from the world around them, although others seem to experience heightened awareness or alertness. Of course, that also depends on how they respond to any pain meds and other meds. People may experience anxiety--or calmness--or sadness and grief--or equanimity--or peace--or a mixture of all those emotional experiences or even something quite different. Some people start to think less clearly and have more difficulty organizing and expressing their thoughts. Some people seek comfort by simplifying their daily lives while others seek to broaden their experiences as much as they are able to tolerate. Some people find it more and more meaningful to explore meaning of life or spirituality oriented issues. Some people experience visions or dreams that feel real or what some would call "hallucinations." Typically, as one's life continues to unfold in the dying process and death is nearer, a person will slip in and out of consciousness, or slip into a coma. Many people believe that as we are dying we continue to be able to hear even when we no longer are able to communicate, and we may wish to have people talking lovingly to us or singing to us or being as quiet as possible.
So much of dying remains a mystery, but there are patterns of dying that millions and millions of people have experienced for many, many years, and in a way that provides some guidance for the rest of us. And, of course, each of us is different, so we will have an experience that is unique to us as well, perhaps in small ways, perhaps in large ways.
Hospice organizations often provide literature on the "dying process," but for those who are interested, here is a link to a useful guide: http://hospicefoundation.org/hfa/media/Files/Hospice_TheDyingProcess_Docutech-READERSPREADS.pdf Although its language is directed toward caregivers, it is useful to any interested reader. Please bear in mind that it is descriptive and detailed, so not all will wish to read it.
Skylotus, thinking also about your sleeping problem, does your hospital bed have an eggcrate mattress on top of that standard mattress? I know there are strict criteria for gel overlays and air mattresses, so those may not be an option, but an eggcrate mattress may help for physical comfort. Do you find yourself anxious or mentally restless when you are unable to sleep? If so, do you have any guided meditations, relaxing breathing techniques, or calming music you can try? A low dose of anxiety-med or sleep aid also may be helpful, but some people don't prefer the med route. You might also try writing your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in a journal (even if they are simple words or phrases or symbolic doodles here and there) to help you avoid the round-and-round-the-mind routine that keeps so many awake at night.
A few more thoughts about Death With Dignity, which I think about in two ways: the choices that we make to experience the end of our lives with as much respect for our own personal integrity, autonomy, and personal dignity as is possible for us, and the laws/programs that allow us to access physician aid in dying. I focus first on the former, because I live in a state that has no law that acknowledges my right to access physician aid in dying, and that's probably true for the majority of us. In thinking about that time of my end of life when I am most dependent on others, and perhaps even fear being a burden to them, I remind myself that such is the human life cycle and there is no shame in being dependent. Do I think I will grieve losses associated with decline and dying? Of course, and I hope I do so with utmost compassion for myself. We can choose how we accept and face the challenges that will be a part of the dying process, and as long as we focus on making our own choices and sharing those choices with others, we maintain dignity and autonomy. Even when we are no longer able to communicate to others, if we have made those choices known and we have surrounded ourselves with those who respect our choices, we maintain dignity and autonomy. And if I should reach a point when I do not wish to linger, I will consider VSED--voluntary stopping of eating and drinking, which tends to move the dying process along.
Yes, in the interim, I will continue to support conversations in which we promote tolerance of the idea that each of us has the right to determine the manner in which we die. For some, that may still involve dying in a hospital with as many death-defying interventions in place to prolong life to the last second possible, for others it may involve being at home or in another residential environment and allowing the natural process of dying to take its course; for some, it may involve palliative sedation, whereby a person is sedated in order to avoid direct experience of physical or psychological distress, and for others it may involve choosing a method for ending life in a respectful, comfort-filled, peaceful manner at a time that seems best for that individual person. I am heartened by the fact that we have so much end of life wisdom available to guide us and that there are so many people working together to explore all the ways that promote death with dignity.
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Brenda -
Well done. Comment re -Blaine jennifer- wrote in another post to a woman ready to throw in the towel over misery and treatment. I am still chuckling at her imagery - "shake your oncologist until the scripts fly like Fall Leaves!" I thought what she wrote is wildly true. We suffer needless through insomnia, bone pain, joint pain, nausea, constipation, diarrhea, depression wow the list would send most folks throwing themeslves to their PCPs! As cancer patients there seems to be some mystique to "sucking it up" and suffering. That mind set is BS. The ticket to getting through life in cancerland is to treat symptoms and make a life worth living for. Or to palliate the dying process to make it less miserable and more humane. I think there needs to be a change in approach to demanding relief, no shame nor weakness admitted. What ever the issue is attack it. If we all demand attention to the side effects and miseries and that they be addressed and alleviated - life in cancerland would improve.
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Brenda and Rosevalley
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Love you all.
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it's Sunday morning and I have just caught up on this thread. I m so impressed with all of you who post here. You are paving the way for those of us who will eventually follow. Wishing all of you a good day, free from pain, a beloved visitor or three or four, and some happy thoughts as you deal with all the pain and misery in cancer land. Hugs! Glenn
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Well We took the kids to Family Clay Sunday at Willamette Art Center. The projects that my daughter and i made for 2 weeks - maple leaf candle holders for the holidays and Christmas ornaments were all dropped on a tray and smashed. Every single thing we made for 2 sessions... The man who dropped them was like "sorry but things happen." His attitude of "so sad sorry oh well" annoyed me. I said just our family's projects and all of them? He knows I have cancer and sometimes I can't even go I feel so lousy - but I look good and no one can see the catheters snaking into my heart and through my belly. I just look like any other person with years to make more clay projects and 2 kids. Which of course isn't the case being in palliative care. So with nothing to glaze and feeling the true meaning of impermanence... like why make the same ornaments again? I left. The kids were making their stuff with their Dad.
Buddhist monks are right about making the gorgeous sand mandalas and then sweeping them away. There is nothing we build, make, save, treasure or produce that we take with us. Nothing. Events in nature like earthquakes, tornadoes, floods, storms, coupled with people created devastation- pollution, war, terrorist attacks..(pity the carnage in that Paris concert full of young folks) can turn our lives upside down or take them in an instant. Poof. Now you are here and next you aren't. Letting things go and non attachment is difficult. This might be the biggest hardest lesson of life.
Peace.
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Yes; I guess something I am really enjoying is letting go of "attachments". Things that I believed to be so important to me are now heading towards charity, friends and family.
Most valuable to me is my life, family, friends and pets. My body goes to Loma Linda for study. (They will enjoy learning as with the cancer and large mennigoma in my head; amongst other things lol).
All I plan to leave with is my soul. All that matters to me is my soul. That's it. Actually very simple.
Hugs
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It still makes me sad, Rose...stupid idiot guy.
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yes Rose. Stupid idiotic people are still out doing stupid idiotic things. That' what they do and sadly he has no idea what disappointment he created
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Rose,
As adults facing the challenges of illness and decline, we are primed--in a way--for learning more about impermanence. I know that intellectually, but the process of living it is certainly difficult. Knowing how much you love your children, I imagine you were grateful for the opportunity to create more memories for them to treasure and objects that would contain emotional and symbolic significance for them after you die. That intention and any investment in legacy are no small things. For those of us who have lost precious family and friends, we know the impact of legacy. I am so sorry this happened and that you were not able to transform your intentions as you planned; however, I hope you find comfort in knowing you and your children still enjoyed meaningful time together and that you have done so in thousands and thousands of ways that will be a part of them always. Those connections are the most meaningful aspect of attachment--they are part of who you are now, part of who they are and will be. Sometimes I think when we "let go of attachments," we are letting go of our attachment to attachments. Be gentle with yourself.
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Yes it was disappointing not to be able to glaze the ornaments my DD1 and I made together. Hoping she could hang them on the tree and think of us making them together. But there are other projects we have made that did get fired and glazed. I have just never lost so many items at one time. Which lead me into thought about all the stuff we create and hold on to and collect etc.. What becomes of it all? My desire to create just vanished.
When I was visiting my Mom and brothers in August for the last time, my brother asked me what I wanted out of the house. I replied nothing, I am dying. What would I do with it? He stared, as it just seemed obvious we would split except that truly I want nothing. The conversation just stopped. Many of our conversations and behaviors are about wanting and collecting. My Brother yacked long into the night over who would win the next election as he is hysterically against Obama care and anything less then "no government." Finally I told him in a comic plea for sleep... "lets go to bed cause I won't be here for the next election... I don't care who wins!" It is interesting how when you get to the end of your life, that the impermanence you have witnessed during all your years suddenly becomes clear. Things that you would have fought stubbornly over and really gnawed on and fretted over just melt in importance. I adored my great Grandmother and have lovely memories of her, her home, baking with her, watching Lawrence Welk... I even have her diamond engagement ring. My kids haven't any idea why that ring makes me smile and cry. Memories...and love of a person who has passed on. When the people who attach the memories to the items pass...do the "things" still have significance? Do these "things" become a burden to those left behind? Lots of thoughts triggered by a smashed tray of fired clay.
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