Mastectomy Sept 2011
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dancetrancer that is what they called it. Thanks as my family was asking the name of it and I couldn't remember. It happens after breast surgery with 35 percent of the women that have the total removal. The tissue needing removed not so frequent. I was reading how everyone was feeling since their surgery and thought I was just a slow healer. LOL Didn't have a clue that it might be related to complications. Though the underarm still hurts and I guess will until I get to go to PT, to move it around more I sure have to say I'm feeling much better.
Sarah- You are so right. I've had to go to an Onc nurse and listen to a multitude of possible complications, a class for all of us starting chemo this month, and the Oncologist telling me how I would lose my hair and eyebrows within three weeks - etc., All pretty overwhelming, and worrisome, and then the Oncologist calling yesterday to say the BS said I couldn't start the chemo until the wound is totally healed. When is that? Everyone smiles and says it will heal but no one says when it might be. Next month I bet.
Hoping your weekend is exactly what you want and need.
Linda -I am feeling so bad for you right now. Hate the waiting to hear just what they found and what's next. But you have a good weekend and think about something you enjoy.
Ya all wish me luck this weekend. I'm going to try to take care of my own wound care with the medical supplies the nurse gave me and this ointment the BS prescribed to heal this hole. It takes me thirty minutes to get to the Wound Care Nurses Office and I asked if they would let me try it at home so half my day isn't taken up with travel and care. Kinda scared about trying it myself but I have to do something.
Hugs to all this evening. Hoping there is no pain - no hot flashes- or itching. and instead there is a wonderful sleep without interuption and sweet dreams to all of you.
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Linda, love your attitude and love your dear mom. How awesome that she is a shining example for you and feeds you so much to give you acid reflux! My own mother would love it if I ate like that every time I saw her.
Its also great you are not letting cancer take away any more time or enjoyment than necessary from you life. Is it your military training giving you strength with BC or have you always been that way? Reading your posts is inspirational for a softie-civilian like myself.
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jazz, I too had a great amount of skin that wouldn't heal. Couldn't figure out why I wasn't healing any faster. They had tried to do the skin sparing, and it just wasn't for me I guess. I had so much dead, black skin that my PS operated 3 wks after MX. When they wheeled me into my room after surgery, I immediately started talking about how much better I felt already. Even ran some errands before going home. I think you'll see a big difference in your healing now. I took care of the sites myself at home, and I'm betting you'll be doing the same. Hugs and luck!
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Jazz, so glad you are feeling better and now have a reason for why you were in so much pain! Hoping for quick healing for you so you can move forward with the chemo! I also hope the self wound care goes well - if you have trouble, can't they send out a home care nurse?
I took a 1/2 benadryl just to knock myself out last night - had a blissful night of sleep - yay!
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Hi everyone - checking in on my favorite crew . . .
Lori - I didn't realize you had a lot of dead skin, too - my incision on my left breast (the one that was irradiated about 10 years ago) has some patches of black on it - my PS said she might do a quickie revision of that this upcoming Wed. when I go in - seems to be an in-office thing for me, maybe 'cause it's a skinny line and not a big patch?
Dancetrancer - SO glad you had a great rest. That is the best feeling! Especially since you're working off the night before last . . . .
I'm doing better again today - so happy to report that this appears to be the second more normal day in a row. Swelling is there, but again down a bit. I showered, put on a little makeup, and my daughter is going to "do my hair" after she eats lunch. That should be interesting! Thank goodness for ponytails (which I still cannot do myself - I CANNOT wait to have this particular motion restriction lifted!). I have been stressing about lymphedema with the swelling, but am trying to take it easy on myself.
Gorgeous weekend here in Boston - going to get out and try to enjoy it a little, at least - DH and daughter are talking going to a pumpkin patch - I surely can't pick up pumpkins, but I could go for the ride and wait while they do . . . . warm sun, little ride - sounds divine.
Hope everyone's having a good Saturday,
Sarah
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Sarah good to hear you are feeling better. It's a beautiful day here too. I am sitting in our screen patio watch the golfers go by. In a bit I am going to take a stroll down the street. Yesterday we went about 1/4 mile so today I want to do the same. I am surprised how well I am doing after BMX four days ago. My only issue is not going to bathroom but hopefully the children laxative (I cant take full strength) and the smooth move tea we got this morning will help since the prune juice, fiber and raisins haven't helped.
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Hello all!!
Glad to see so many of us rested and feeling better. Absolutely gorgeous weather here today and felt pretty good so I was able to open up the house, clear some cobwebs and then retreat to the front porch with a good book. Little tired as this was the most active I have been since surgery but still feel pretty good.
Jazz - Fingers crossed your wound care will go smoothly.. Glad you feel better now.
Sarah - A visit to the pumpkin patch sounds like a great outing. Hope you were able to enjoy some spiced cider and apples as well.
Stephanie aka Teresa9 -You are truly an inspiration to me. Your friend is very lucky to have someone like you to help comfort her during this time in spite of your own health issues. As much as I have had some little issues, I alway try to remind myself of the insignificance of same compared to what others have to go thru (including some on this site)
MargieC - Nice to see you doing so well 4 days out.... Amazing how quickly we bounce back, isn't it?
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and continues doing well. Hugs all!
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Good morning ladies - it's 2:45 Am... and like many of you I was able to get out and enjoy some sunshine the last two days and celebrate my 42nd Birthday!
However - tell me this - are any of you sleeping better? This is becoming a nightmare - and YES everything feels worse at 2:45 AM when you can't sleep...
After I got my drains out on Monday - I was so excited to leave my recliner and try to sleep in my bed again (propped up on pillows and on my back) - it was horrible... I forced myself to try it for 2 nights but was back in the chair. I tried again last night and again tonight...
I took at an ativan at 11 PM... and was itchy (my holes still itch from the drains) - and now am just miserable. Stuck on my back like a turtle hating the way my chest feels when I lie on my side.
I am grateful that I am feeling better each day but I guess that is why I feel good enough to say - when can I ever sleep on my side again???? These things in my chest feel pretty yucky and every position feels different. I have worked myself up into being pretty miserable at this point and I am sure it will look better in the morning - but does anyone know if my body will ever adjust to this or does this just feel like my new "normal"?
I lay in bed for 30 minutes typing to you ladies in my head until I gave up and just got up to type
My husband is snoring downstairs in my chair because he didn't want to keep me up -it's funny - now I just want to kick him out and give me my chair back!
Hope you are all sleeping bettter than I am.
Tina
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Oh Tina! I've been up since 4 or so - terrible night for me. I posted on the blog - http://betheweeble.blogspot.com - I don't know what to tell you but I can tell you that I understand your discomfort and your anxiety about when it'll end. I am so. totally. there. I am generally such a postive person, and this is really getting to me . . . . for me, it's the anxiety about the swelling (my foobs feel like they might explode out of my chest), and that doesn't help the discomfort I'm feeling . . . which leads to my lack o' sleep, which then feeds into the whole friggin' thing again. I am not a girl who does well on little sleep - let alone when I'm recovering from major, traumatic surgery like a BMX.
Last night I did back-to-back mindfulness meditations and that did help calm me down a lot. It's what got me to sleep at 11:30 or so. I just downloaded another one from iTunes now - need some variety as I think I'm going to have to have a continuous loop today! Let me know if you're interested in any of that - helps me quiet my mind and relax my body.
Otherwise, know that I'm suffering alongside you, for what that's worth. Generally I'm feeling better - so that is an upside - no rash, no virus. Now just swelling, pain and lack of sleep - an improvement!?
I hope that your b-day celebrations were fantastic, at least - so that you gained some joy to counteract your suffering.
Your sister in insomnia,
Sarah
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Sarah -
I just read the blog and I feel much less alone -but very sad that you are going through this.
I don't THINK that I am swelling - it just FEELS like there is this tight band around me that doesn't relate to wearing a bra or not. Lying on my back is the only position really where this is bearable.
I haven't tried meditation much - except with YOGA - which I never really did well - Pilates was more my style. But if I decide to try it I will let you know - I do some repetitive Prayer when I am like that but sometimes you know how you get soooo anxious you can't quiet the mind - so I just get up - which is what I did last night - and do something ELSE so I am not lying there making myself into a CRAZY PERSON.
Morning is always better - i know this from many many experiences. So I just need to see it through - but MAN am I gonna be a tired pup.
Even if this is Normal - I still don't like it
I did have a lovely weekend of celebrations - full of cards and good food and loved ones - rode on a TRAIN - seemed crazy but it was LOVELY!!! Sipped some wines and saw my husband's kids .... I have nothing to complain about but a lousy nights' sleep - and these ROCKS IN MY CHEST that BURN AND HURT
Thanks for the support sister - I know I can always reach out here - and that is something I am forever grateful for.
Tina
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Margie - hope things get "moving" for you soon - I remember how uncomfortable that is. Sounds like you are doing all the right things.Tina - happy birthday!!! Glad you were able to get out and enjoy it. So sorry to hear you aren't sleeping any better. I have good nights and bad nights. I wasn't a great sleeper before all of this (woke up a lot with trouble falling back asleep), so that is continuing and made worse by the fact that I can't sleep on my side. I also completely understand the mind racing and just having to get up and do something else. I also can understand why you can't sleep on your back yet - you had tissue taken from there, major incisions - it's got to be very, very sore. I imagine it would be like me trying to sleep on my stomach - NO WAY. I don't know the answer to what any of our "new normals" will end up being, but I do feel like it is too early to think that "this is it". It's so hard, though, dealing with symptoms day in and day out. Every little sign of improvement is a huge step, and I think it helps to focus on those achievements vs. looking at how far we still have to go (easy for me to say right now...when I'm down this is a lot harder to put into practice, LOL).
Sarah - hope your pumpkin patch outing was fun. Sounds like a perfect fall outing. The weather sure has been fabulous here in Alabama, too. 70 - low 80's, low humidity, sunny and breezy. Wish it was like this all year round! On to your most recent post - so bummed to hear you had a bad night of sleep as well. I read your blog and can completely understand the anxiety - and yes the lack of sleep totally feeds it - such a vicious cycle - been there and hate that! I so wish that swelling was getting better for you.
Hey - have you tried any anti-inflammatories (if your doc allows it)? I periodically have taken Aleve for my aches and pains (especially when I lay down at night - that's when I notice them most), and I've noticed my swelling looks better the next morning. I haven't been sure if it's the rest or the Aleve making it look better - but thought I'd share.I actually had a very good evening - went on my first real big outing. My local dance class holds a huge Halloween costume party every October - major dress up by all, drinks, dancing, etc. I didn't dance (ok, so I did shake my booty slightly - I miss my dancing so much!), but I did have a few drinks (probably shouldn't, but it was fun!) and had so much fun talking to all of my friends. These girls are so awesome. They are definitely my family here, which is so important, since my family is many miles away. It was a great night - a little hung over this morning - I'm sure the alcohol wasn't a good idea from a healing standpoint but the fun was very healing spiritually, so it all balances out.
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Hey friends - Tina and Lorraine, thanks for the comforting words. Tina - repetitive prayer is probably much the same - just focusing the mind on something other than the spiral of anxious thoughts . . . sometimes I do something as simple as say along w/my breath - "breath in, breath out." Any word, etc. will do. But last night, like you, even my guided meditations weren't cutting it. So far, I've found the most success watching Lisa Ling documentaries on the Oprah Winfrey network . . . . hee hee . . . mail order brides from Columbia? Interesting and just about as far from recuping from a BMX as I can get.
Lorraine, I LOVE me my anti-inflammatories (I have arthritis) but haven't taken them yet. I know they'd cut the pain better than the regular strength Tylenol I'm taking 'round the clock. For those times I get a headache, for example (not frequent), Tylenol does nothing and Advil kicks it easily. I have been hesitant to take them but am thinking I might call Tues. and see if they OK them. I see the doc on Wed. so in any case, it's not long.
I am a mess today. I reached out to a local friend w/a bra 911 - part of my issue is that my Coobie bras are cutting into me really badly now that I'm more swollen, and that cannot be helping anything. Though she has 2 kids of her own and it's one of the most gorgeous Sundays of the year, she is going to cart my butt around this afternoon to an outlet of Lady Grace, a famous bra store up here for hard-to-fit women and post-mastectomy patients. I have list of bras that look good to me, so I'm going to call ahead to make sure they're stocking something before we venture out. Of course, her kindness and good humor are making me cry more.
I never did get to the pumpkins yesterday b/c I turned into one! My daughter was disappointed - I napped too long. She did get to play w/a friend, and she and my husband are on their way out now, but she is angry w/me. She just came up w/some calendula oil and gel they got me (my skin around my breasts is SO dry and irritated!) and said "so . . . isn't the reason we didn't go pumpkin shopping yesterday b/c you wanted to go, and now you're not going?" She is 8. Going on 38. I feel awful, I explained to her that I do feel awful, that yes, that's right, but that I was up virtually all night in pain, and that going to find a bra will help w/that, and will hopefully move me forward so that I can do lots of fun stuff like pumpkin shopping. I started to cry a little and she just looked at me and said "OK, there's your stuff, bye." Heartbreaking. I know we'll get thru this, but it is so hard on me to see its effects on my daughter. Any veteran moms have any light to shed on this one?
Lorraine, your evening sounds wonderful! I think that good friends and fun go a long way toward healing - drinks or no drinks. There is someting so powerful about being amongst people you care about, laughing, having a good time. Yay for you! Relish the hangover b/c you got out like the old you and had a great time. So happy that worked out for you!
Sarah
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Good Morning Sarah and all my Sept. Gals,
To those of you who are sleepless and/or feeling low, I can relate. It is also a reminder that our recovery is still peppered with those frustrating peaks and valleys. Today is the first time I've felt a bit better in the past 48 hours. After a very busy Thursday, I was laid low on Friday and Saturday. No appetite, low level nausea, general exhaustion. Yesterday was Yom Kippur, the Jewish day of atonement and fasting. Fasting was not a problem since the thought of food made me ill. I was supposed to attend a dinner to break the fast but had to back out. The only thing I could contemplate was my own misery. Today seems better.
Sarah, so sorry to hear about the swelling. I have no insights but offer up my virtual shoulder to cry on. Hope you can find a more comfy bra. I know it must be hard to go through this with a young child. Children process things differently but as long as you are honest (in an age appropriate way) with her and love, love, love her, your family will get through this.
Margie, hope things have "moved" along. When constipation is bad for me I do whatever I can at any time of the day to alleviate it. I think the direction to drink smooth moves at bedtime is so you can go in the morning. At a certain point that doesn't matter, does it?
Tina, almost 5 weeks post op and I still have that tight band feeling. Very sensitive skin sensations too and tenderness at drain entry sites although no redness, swelling or signs of infection. Go figure!
Hope we all are doing better today! Caryn0 -
I can relate to all my sisters. I had a really bad week last week- no energy and sick of being sick and in pain/discomfort. This week is so much better. I am now more than 3 weeks post op and I feel I am getting my life back.
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Oh Groovy, you're giving me hope. Was thinking about you as I got dressed a little while ago - my BRA 911 girlfriend came and took me out. I have a new bra, VERY unflattering but thicker straps and more adjustable - and one on order that'll come in a week (yikes - what takes a week to arrive these days??). The post-MX fitter was a gem - 3 years out from her ovarian cancer treatment - gentle and kind and put me totally at ease.
Caryn, I'm so sorry that BC messed up your holiday - was wondering if we hadn't heard from you b/c you were enjoying the holidays with family . . . hope you got some pleasure out of the whole thing and it wasn't utter misery. I keep consoling myself with "next year at this time . . . " it'll be better. Goodness gracious, I hope so for all our sake. Thanks for your advice re my daughter - we've been age-appropriately honest w/her throughout this ordeal (started in June - been a while!) and it's paid off so far. Kids know when things aren't right, and I'm not a fan of secrets - she has already rallied and there was a conversation in the car which my husband hasn't been able to tell me about yet. I'm feeling better about it - when I think of my own childhood, it was so much more awful than this, and I turned out OK. Not easy, but I made it and I really didn't have the support of my parents, which she has in spades. Just a low day for me.
Margie - keep getting tangled up in my own misery and not commenting on your issues - I swear by stewed prunes . . . yes, breakfast of 80-year-olds. I had 'em for breakfast in the hospital and hold the record for the fastest come-back on the floor . . . might be worth a try - put a bunch of prunes in a saucepan w/water to cover, simmer them for a while 'til they get nice and soft. Serve over yogurt, in oatmeal, or straight up. Good hot, warm, room temp or cold. I hope that clears up for you, whatever you do. It is amazingly uncomfortable!!
I'm off to get over myself. Tina, I hope you have had a nap - I haven't had one yet, part of me thinks I should keep myself up 'til 7 or 8 and then crash. Naps mess w/my night-time sleeping at this point and that's the last thing I want, night 2.
xo to all
S.
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stjude- thanks for the support. These little things they leave out before surgery can really catch us off guard. We'd probably make different choices if we knew all the probs that can arise. LOL Yes I am dealing with a self care thing. It was hard yesterday as it was my first try but I love showering before and being able to air it all out for a little while. I have felt better in the last few days and actually have been able to sleep better. My arm actually moves without that feeling of being stabbed constantly and that is hopeful. Glad to hear your doing well and thanks for sharing, as I was beginning to think I was all alone.
Tina - I just feel so bad for you. I imagine most of us can identify what your going through in a small or larger portion. I had serious trouble after the first week, as who can sleep on their back constantly without turning. I actually had a dream one night I was able to sleep on my right side and was so happy and comfortable. Short lived but ...LOL. After the first week I went for tylenol and advil. The narcotic side of things, Norco, made me feel awful and the lighter pain killer the Doctor thought I should have made me vomit for 2 days.
I wanted to say - I had the same feelings in my chest you do, where it felt like I had a bra on that was just too too tight, but it was swelling that created that feeling. With or without the drains there is a fluid that builds up in our bodies to protect the wound. You keep a close eye on it and if it starts moving towards your armpit and under the armpit area you notify your doctor.
You can also ask your doctor for something to help you sleep. Even if you can only manage a few hours of good sleep it's still better than 4 hours of bad sleep. (and yes, Kick your hubby back into the bed and take up the recliner again if you need too) Happy Late Birthday, and again saddened to hear your having so much trouble right now. I do know a step at a time it does get better.
groovygirl I am so glad things are going better for you.Someone has to hold the higher ground! There is hope after surgery it's just the when for each of us. You go girl! Do something fun for me.
Sarah - I have to say I understand the emotional things going on with you and your daughter. Both children here are having difficulty in their own way and they are older with more awareness than you little lady there. She just needs to go to her own little corner, just like you do, and lick her wounds, but bad days are not bad lifetimes. Things will be okay between you - but what a gal she must be, to try to understand it. Sweeet. Just involve her in what's going on and when you do the bra thing take her out for lunch afterward. Little times count for a lot. If she sees you trying she'll be fine.
Caryn- 5 weeks huh? Whew! That's enough to wear one out. Your sensitivity in the area is drain area is familiar and my BS said it was due to the nerves that were all cut. I'm gong to call on Tuesday and ask if there isn't a topical ointment that relieves some of it seeing as how it's the skin that seems to be the actual culprit. Hoping your feeling better soon and the nausea etc., finally passes. Sad and wishing I could help more.
odie- Here's hoping your day is great one. Little joys through out.
To all may things get better quickly, and the little things that comfort you be provided daily until we're all through this, and are able to meet on the other side of surgery. Hugs and God bless
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It's amazing how we all take turns falling and letting our sisters pick us back up and piping in to help a fallen sister!!
I am so very Grateful.
I have NOT napped yet....
Hubby put me back in the chair about 1:00 PM for a nap - because he just could not take my crabbiness anymore.... I may have PMS too... HELP ME!
So Sarah - now I am on the same fence - it's almost 4 PM and no nap - if i take one now...will there be sleep for me tonight???
Well - I am at least resting in the chair watching movies on one of the most beautiful FALL days of the season
Sarah - your words cheered me - just think about 1 year from now - how amazing everything will be... WE CAN DO THIS!Love you all.
Tina
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Still napless in Boston. I'm goin' for it, Tina - powering thru 'til my daughter goes to bed - if I go down now, I won't be ready for bed 'til late.
Sorry you've been cranky - really, now can we be expected to be lovely in the face of all this sleeplessness/swelling/revisions/drains not out/etc.? I think I've been pretty damn friendly, frankly! I bet my husband would agree - although he'd say that talking me off my ledge every night is trying. It's been a lot of work for him.
There'll be more beautiful days. We will get there - I daresay, even the snowiest, coldest, dreariest January day will be gorgeous is we look up at 5 p.m. and think, "I didn't think about my foobs all day!"
Cheers,
Sarah
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I got a new bra that was professionally fitted and it made all the difference in how things felt. I wish I could have afforded more than 1! Insurance paid for it but I was not going to buy an ugly $120 bra!
I threw out all my previous life bras today.
Took the gang out for ice cream and I even had one! It is an amazing day in New Hampshire- 80's!
I am not sleeping so well either- didn't before surgery either. What helps is a small dose of ativan when I wake up in the middle of the night and can't fall back asleep. I have Ambien but it gives me strange dreams so I don't like to take it.0 -
6 days post op. Went to Bible study for an hour on Friday morning, sang in choir this morning at church, went out to brunch with my mom, sister, and a friend. I am grateful for these today. Am able to sleep with the aid of ambien, xanax, pain meds, and benadryl, apparently talk a lot in my sleep according to DH. Got a rash from neck, entire chest, abdomen, arms, itching and driving me crazy. Nurse on Friday told me to call if things got worse over weekend and the surgical resident would take care of me.... NOT ON YOUR LIFE!!!! I will call first thing in the morning as I am also having increasing pain in right arm, now sensitive to least stimulation by my shirt sleeve.
Sarah, Tina, Margie, Danctrancer, Jazz, Lori, Stephanie, Babycakes, Topless, Odie, Loraine, Jeane, and anyone else I have forgotten - hope you are all getting some sleep. Happy birthday (or belated birthday?) to one of you.... I have tried to read back through the posts and can't find it, so hope it was a good day. I have decided I am a year younger than my birth certificate says because I lost the last year to BC, so I am not counting it!
Sarah, sorry you did not get to the pumpkin fest with your daughter. I absolutely love walking through pumpkin and cornfields this time of year, and doing it with an 8-year old is such a treat. Maybe you can at least get to a landscaping shop or farmers market, get a pumpkin or corn shock... or pick something "fall-like" up at the local dollar store... something to bring some orange, gold, yellow, red into your lives for a bit.
I am actually not in the military, but wanted to be a Marine. I adopted a military strategy for fighting breast cancer last year, and my DH took this photo that we call "Taking Command." I have used military terminology, finding comfort in "Mission is primary" so everything we do is aimed at "Survive to Enjoy Life." I am now involved in what DH calls "Psych Ops" and am trying to keep focus on the mission, even when my body and mind are so tired of this whole mess, I would like to bail out some days, but just need to push on, no quitting now, surrender is not an option. I have many relatives and friends in the military and they have been very ,helpful and supportive of this approach. For those of you getting ready for chemo, I have used the "chemical warfare" analogy. Also have used some of the quotes from various war movies or spoofs (Bridge Over the River Kwai, Down Periscope, etc.) - one of my favorites is "There's always the unexpected." I have also tried the "warm fuzzy love everywhere God is good" approach, and it works a little, but find my personality is so goal-oriented that meditation is good, but planning and executing the plan are better at getting me to do what I need to do.
There is a wonderful book by Gordon Peerman, an Episcopal priest who also practices a lot of Buddhism called "Blessed Relief: What Christians can Learn From Buddhists about Suffering" that has some excellent meditations. He also recorded some guided meditations, but I don't know if they are available with the book - I attended 8 weeks of meditations with him.
Sorry about the lengthy tome tonight - it is the first time I have actually felt like writing this week, and I tend to get a bit loquacious. Gentle hugs and warmest wishes to you all for a restful, peaceful night.
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Hello ladies.
Sorry I'm so late; it is ridiculous how long it takes to take a simple shower these days....lol
First & foremost, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TINA!!!
Lorraine - I am so glad to see you had a great evening out. May wipe you out physically today but was worth it for the spiritual benefits Hang in there and you'll be b ack to shakin' that bootie before you know it.
Sarah - So sorry you were unable to go to the pumpkin patch and that your DD was so disappointed. I know there will be other good times but it doesn't make it any easier. Sounds like you are handling everything well so things will work out with time. ((HUGS)) Why wait until Tuesday to call the doctor on the anti-inflammatory question? I know Monday is technically a holiday but the doctors offices here will be open. (I see the onco dr & ps tomorrow) I hope your swelling resolves & you are more comfortable soon.
Jazz - Glad to hear you are doing ok with the wound care. I am so with you on the sleeping issue. As a lifelong stomach sleeper, this sleeping propped up 45 degrees & on my back is not so great. Am excited as I expect to get rid of one of my remaining two drains tomorrow so maybe I can sleep on one side sometime in the near future. Until then, I'll continue to take a Tylenol PM at night to help me fall asleep.
Caryn - Hate that you didn't feel up to the holiday dinner event. Glad to know today seemed better as it seems you have been thru so much already..
Groovygirls - $120 for a bra is insane! Glad the insurance paid for the one and that you are enjoying the beautiful weather.
Linda - So glad to hear you had a good day/brunch outing. I find those short visits with family & friends motivate me to soldier on more than anything. Here's hoping that itchy rash clears up soon.
Little nervous as I have my initial oncologist visit in the morning. I know I will likely have hormone therapy but really hope to avoid any additional surgery or chemo.....
May we all have sweet dreams or at least sleep tonight! And MargieC, keep pushing prunes. We're rooting for you...hee hee
Diagnosis: 6/27/2011, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-0 -
Before I go lights out over here, had to check in with my buddies.
Odie - I'll be thinking of you tomorrow a.m., fingers crossed for "just" hormone therapy. Keep us posted . . . oncology visits at this stage of the game are trying.
Linda - I hope your rash clears - it's unbelievable how maddening the itch can be. I can confidently say I understand where you're coming from w/that! If you feel it's unending, you might request a consult w/an allergist - this was my PS's suggestion and the allergist helped SO much - I went on double-doses of Allegra, of all things, in addition to the Benadryl. And she gave me a high-powered topical steriod cream - triamcinolone .1%. Cleared me up. BTW, I have always wanted to be a Navy Seal or at least go thru basic training (a friend of mine from law school was a West Point grad, another in the JAG corpp). Love the battle analogies. Although I'm a meditator, I'm a war-monger when it comes to my cancer. LOVE the psych-ops - that is where I'm at, for sure.
Groovygirls - ice cream sounds great - you had the same weather we did today. There is nothing like a professionally fitted bra, but they come at a price . . . the one on order for me today is $78 - relatively cheap, and very ugly. Gonna get insurance to reimburse me for this, for sure.
I have been forgiven, it seems, by my 8-year-old. Apparently she read the situation that I didn't WANT to go w/them, so DH set her straight (w/o making her feel badly, which I stressed - it's understandable if she's pissed off, I can relate!!). We had a lovely evening here - grilled out, I stayed awake thru dinner . . . all good.
Thanks for getting me through another rough patch, friends. Hoping tonight is restful for everyone (thinking of the Barenaked Ladies song "Who Needs Sleep?" - an anthem of mine for many years!) . . . .
xo to you all . . . surrender is indeed, not an option!
Marching on,
Sarah
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Thanks for the birthday wishes ladies...
I made it through the day without a nap - but just finished round3 of bickering with husband....
fighting over people bringing FOOD if you can imagine
Just cranky and irritable and contagious apparently....
Peace and rest to all my friends out there - sweet dreams and comfortable sleeping...
Love,
Tina
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Hello all,
I just went through a double mast on Sept. 15th. Still hurts and hoping to heal faster. Had my first chemo of Tax and Cyt. No side effects. Hope the rest go as well.
Just FYI on reconstruction. If you haven't gone to the forums you can read about total breast reconstruction using your own fat that is harvested by liposution. I live in LA and will be going to a plastic surgeon by the name of Dr. Suzanne Trott in Beverly Hills. The originaltor of the method is in Miami but teaches other plastic surgeoons all over the country and the world, I was originally going to have implants but when I read about all the problems and also the problems with the flap surgeries I declined both. Then found on these forums the info about the fat recon. It's a miracle because there is no more surgry, just the lipo. One forum is Micro Fat Grafting and Brava Doctor Recommendations.
Just a bit of info for anyone who would like another option.
Kathy in Chatsworth, CA
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Hi All! Just tried to catch up on your posts, forgive me if I overlooked anyone or scrambled names. I did try the word doc approach, but as you may have noticed, when I copied it here it added a bunch of weird code. Back to the hunt and peck method and human imperfection--but then again, if this group of great women doesn't understand that, no one will!
Odie, glad that you were able to get out in the sunshine and read a book. Every little step forward feels good, doesn't it? Even if, sometimes, it's followed a little too closely by a mini-step backwards. Thanks for your lovely comment. I am always inspired by admirable people, including our wonderful September sisters!
Jazz3000--wishing you luck with caring for the new wound.I'm sorry that you have to wait until this heals to start chemo (which, naturally, you'd rather not have to start at all!). It must be frustrating that no one can tell you when that healing will be done. I find the uncertainty of this process to be so hard to handle. So much of this process involves waiting and worrying, all while knowing that you can't do much about most of it. Except visual healthy skin and tissue, pray, meditate, rest, eat good food, and laugh. Okay, as I type this list, I guess there ARE many things we can do to facilitate our healing. But it's hard to have setbacks, that's for sure.
Rk85--I hate to disagree with you, but you don't seem like a "softie-civilian" to me!
Everyone onthis forum is kick-ass strong, even through our tears. When I think of how much each of us has had to face, I am so proud of our group. So proud and inspired.Stjude10--That's great to hear that you felt so much better after had the dead skin removed three weeks post MX. And then you did errands on your way home? See what I mean? Warrior women--all of us. Warrior women who need their sleep, though. Glad your 1/2 a benedryl gave you a great night's sleep, dancetrancer!
Sarah, glad that you had two normal days in a row. It's amazing how much that helps, isn't it? Love the fact that your daugher could "help" you with your hair. I remember when our kids were little and they'd "help" with soemthing--cooking, cleaning, whatever, and then I'd have to go and redo it. Hmm, come to think of it, that's what's happening with my husband and his cleaning "help." I can barely stand to see the, forgive my language, half-assed job he does and know that not only can I not "fix" it, but that I should be grateful that he's doing it at all! Hope your trip to the pumpkin patch was fun.
MargieC--glad to hear how well you're doing! Sitting on the porch watching the golfers go by sounds very relaxing. Great that you're walking, too.
Tina, first of all, Happy 42nd birthday!! Secondly, sorry that you had such a bad night! I actually read your post at 2:45 California time when I couldn't fall back to sleep myself. But I was too tired and sore to write back then. But know that you had a fellow sister with insomnia. And, yes, everything looks so much at 2 in the morning or whenever we wak up in discomfort, wondering when and if lie will be back to normal. Perspective doesn't come easily in the middle of the night. I say take back that recliner if that lets you sleep Oh, and Sarah, just saw tat you had a hard night as well. We are indeed sisters in insomnia. The combination of pain, worry, and just being sick and tired of being sick and tired is not nearly as fun as other possible combinations, say, such as a couple of mojitos and a handsome pool boy to fan us down with palm fronds? I say, let's plan THAT for next fall. Plus, think of the cute bikini tops we could have!
It's gorgeous here in southern California today, even though I never left the house. I have the sliding glass door open to the soft breeze as I wish you all a lovley end to what I hope was a lovely weekend. xoxo, Therese aka Stephanie
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Forgot to ask, have any of you suddenly had a weird dent appear in your breast? I woke up this morning and saw this indented line (sort of pencil-shaped) at the bottom on my right breast. And then I saw black around the nipple on that breast. Totally freaked me out. I don't think it's dried blood, but I suspect its dead tissue. Things have been going so well in general, and then this. I made an appointment to go in and see my plastic surgeon in Santa Monica tomorrow, but I wonder if anyone else has had this happen or heard of it happening two & 1/2 weeks after a BMX.
You just never know what to expect on this journey except that it won't go quite as you'd thought it would. I just don't know how worried to be.
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Hi all - had a pretty good day, went for a walk and did a few gentle exercises. Chilled out while hubby barbecued up some yummy burgers with melted jalapeno cheese. He sure does know how to take good care of me.
I feel too far behind to catch up on all that I've missed today, so I will just say I'm glad for the good things happening to each of us, and hugs for the crappy times. Together we will get through all the ups and downs - so great to have a sounding board here. I've said that time and time again yet I continue to be amazed at how strong we all are when we combine our spirits and fight together.
Stephanie - I have not had what you are describing. I started out with my R nipple black, but that turned out to be a scab that has slowly been peeling off over the last 2 1/2 wks, revealing a pink nipple underneath. Glad you were able to make an appt for tomorrow when calling on a Sunday - that sure is great service there! Do keep us posted and just hold tight!
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Okay-please do not tell my PS that I walked 7 miles today. I figure if I am planning on a marathon I can still train for it even though I will be walking the training for a few months.....
Dear sisters- you are stringer than you believe....
It seems my life is back to normal. Hubby is back to his usual crabby self. Working 16 hour plus days. I was a single parent before all this and now things are back to normal. I was so grateful for bis help when he was home and able to help. I had to find homes for All my chickens which broke my heart. Okay girls get the eggs.... I was out there with my 4 drains getting eggs because my family refused. So much for not over extending my arms. My very dear friend took them but I do miss them.
I do think this has brought me and my husband closer together but anyone else missing "other things".
One more thing- I need glasses! I have a cheap pair of readers which I didn't need before. Anyone else?
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Stringer= stronger. Stupid spell check
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jazz-glad I could be of some comfort to you. I will say that I really started healing quickly after 2nd surgery, and I'm hoping the same for you!
My sympathies to all of my insomniac sisters. I for one, do not function w/out sleep, so I am understanding you all, and feel your frustration.
Caryn and Sarah, so sorry to hear that you've both had to miss out on something important to you. I am wishing that's not an option for either of you in the future!
Odie, I will have my fingers crossed for you tomorrow that your news is music to your ears.
Weather here in Illinois was almost 90 today. Took in my nephew's youth football game. They're heading to their Superbowl. Also, got to visit w/relatives from out of state that I hardly ever get to see, and had ice cream outside with my family. It was a good day.
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