Starting Chemo in Nov. 2011...anyone else?
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Okay so holding ourselves accoutable and checking in. I will go to zumba this evening, Sunday night, even if it is 15 or so degrees and it will be dark! It would not take much to convince myself to stay home, warm snuggly, maybe in the jacuzzi, and hanging with my kids.
be well
Nel
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I've never done zumba, but it sounds like a lot of fun. How long have you been doing that?
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Hi GrandmaV--I have been so busy. I actually was in the hospital in December....Developed a bad Strep infection from my right elbow up to my shoulder and across the entire right side of my chest--where I had radiation was the worst. It came out of no where. Was sleeping a lot...and started with a fever...took my shirt off for bed and was red like an apple. It was very scarey and I had been shivering....seems I had a 102.4 fever and spent 4 days in the hospital. Got out of the hospital..went to Florida for the holidays. I was so glad I got to go. Almost needed another PICC line and they were not sure of me leaving the state. We did get to rest in Florida...came home and lost a dear friend of mine. He had a tragic accident. Works as an engineer and was inspecting a NYC bridge and fell to his death. There seems to always be something to "deal" with. I popped in to read and catch up but didn't have the time to write.
I hope this finds everyone well after the holidays. I thought about a year ago...middle of chemo, no hair and a PICC line. What a difference a year can make. I am so glad to have found you all here and so appreciate you asking about me! Will try to be better about writing.
May the New Year bless us all with nothing but bright and sunny days ahead!
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Oh Bonseye, my heart goes out to you. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I seem to remember that you had a strep infection last spring or summer, too. You've definitely been through a lot. I'm so sorry about your friend. That's just awful.
I hope this year will be free of any bad stuff and will bring nothing but happiness to you and your family.
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Boneseye,
Hope things are smoothing out for you and your family Florida sounds just wonderful! I saw a saying a few weeks ago "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf" I think that just describes how I am looking at things these days. Helps me keep things in perspective
Got to zumba last night, not the instructor I prefer, bummer but at least I got there! I had been going fairly regulary until DX and then did not make it most of last year. Went back this fall. It is alot of fun, even if I am sometimes going left when the rest of the group is going right!
Be well
Nel
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Nel, good for you, going to zumba on such a cold night. By the way, I love that saying.
It's a beautiful day here in Wichita, unusually warm weather for January. It's already 61 degrees and its just the noon hour. I made it a whole week last week without sweets and still managed to gain 2 more pounds. This is getting scary. I've already cut out as much salt as I can, now no sweets for a week, I guess this week I'll cut back on bread. Otherwise, I'm pretty much on a plant based diet, with very little meat. I know I have to get moving, but this letrozole is making difficult. I'm getting ready to go walking again. My goal is 3 blocks this time. I just received the welcome package from my new insurance and it says they provide a weight watchers membership. I've never done weight watchers, I've always been an atkins diet person. But I think I'm going to try it.
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Bonseye-I am sorry you have had such a rough time. I have had it much better than last year myself, and I still feel like I amplaying catch up in getting back to things I used to be able to do, so I imagine for you it is so much harder with all you have been through. I am wishing only the best for you this year.
Nel-That zumba sounds great. Before the BC popped into my life, I had gotten a zumba game for my Wii and was trying to do it. I was terrible, but I always wanted to be able to dance, and I thought since nobody could see how silly I looked, maybe I could actually learn a few things. But it was next to impossible for me to keep up before, so I never even tried after the treatments.
Grandma-You will love weight watchers. I have gone off and on over the years. They really do have a good balanced diet plan and are probably the best diet around because of that. If my insurance paid for it, I would probably go back, but it is pretty expensive if you have to pay for it (all of those kinds of programs are), especially when you know the program already. I would really just be getting the "accountability" of weighing in every week if I went because I am pretty knowledgeable already about the way the program works.
I survived 3 days last week of exercises at the YMCA and actually lost 2 pounds. I think it was not so much because of the exercising but because after exercising, I didn't want to eat a lot and "waste" the progress I had made by burning some calories by exercising. If I do as well this week, I will feel like maybe I am on my way! Good luck to all!
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Go for it Grandma V and nice picture. I have missed all of you my dearest friends from afar!
Nel, I prefer aqua zumba and will get with it as soon as my knee heals. My left arm where lymph nodes had been removed had atrophied and I couldn't straighten my arm. I started swimming at the Y before we moved and now I can straighten out my arm. I need to get back to swimming again. The weather is so much better here in NC. We did have ice recently but the temps are usually in the 60-70s during the winter months. I have a sidewalk and can walk whenever. I was doing great until the tear. Not losing any weight but having fun just being able to walk. We lived in the country in Indiana and I could walk in the woods but didn't dare because our neighbors liked to shoot in the woods too.
I see the ortho doctor in February so I am taking it easy until then or try to!
As for my fears of recurrence, my second diagnosis was a new cancer. My surgeon said it wasn't related to my first cancer. I just get tired of it and get depressed about having it again. Today is a good day. I started out crying for my aunt and then I remember all I went through last year and where I am today. I feel so much better. My daughter surprised me last weekend with a visit with the babiez! I have decided that I need to see them every two months. I am looking forward to going to Indiana in March for a visit.
Thank you all so much for standing with me.
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Ok ladies, I may be the most out of shape out of our group and have the most to loose, but I did make it 4 blocks today. I also had to sit down on the curb twice but it's a start.
bahamamom, 2 pounds lost that's wonderful, but I think I found them.
Beth, I hope you'll be back to your activities soon. I had a torn meniscus, too, but they didn't even mention surgery. It must have been minor compared to yours. I just had to stay off of it for a couple of months. Now it just seems very stiff and inflexible. I'm hoping I don't tear it again. I may ask for some PT next time I see my pcp. Aren't grandbabies the best?
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4 blocks are better than no blocks so YAY!!! Grandbabies are the best and I can't wait to see them again. 2 pounds Bahamamom YAY!!! I am hoping to lose some weight too. I have gained 30 pounds in 3 months. I know we can do it!
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GrandmaV and Nel--thank you so much! I did have a staph infection in my expander after my mastectomy and had it removed...then this infection was a strep infection in my arm all the way into my chest--ugh! I think I have had enough! Congrats to everyone working hard on exercising. It is so hard to be consistent! I have been doing Livestrong and love, love, love the program! I went a few times last week....planned to go this week and was sidelined with food poisoning this Sunday into Monday. I was a mess yesterday-fever and everything. All better today and on the mend. All I could think was that dumb stomach virus...but I heard it lasts for days so it was just 12 hours for me--thinking I am safe. I am telling my son to wash his hands constantly and they say hand sanitizer doesn't kill it. My husband doesn't want me going out in "public" if I don't have to......
Nel--Love your saying!! How true! Can't stop the waves--and I sure am learning how to surf. Every day is something else. I try now to not stress over the little stuff. My poor husband worries so much about me. He is afraid the minute I have a fever...guessing that is a normal reaction to what we went through.
Love being able to check in with everyone. Hoping to be able to daily.
Best to you all
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Bonseye, I agree with your husband. The only places I go these days is early in the morning to the grocery store (not as many people) and for little walks in the neighborhood. I'm avoiding crowds. I can listen to the meetings for our congregation on the phone twice a week. After having mrsa, I feel like my immune system is shot. I'm taking probiotics to try to replenish the good bacteria that the antibiotic destroyed and to bolster my immune system. I'm keeping paper masks handy, just in case I get around someone who seems sick. It's very scary out there with all those germs, so I'm not taking any chances. If my husband comes home with a sniffle, I start sanitizing everything. I think I'm getting to be a germaphob. (don't no if that's a word) I'm so glad we can keep in touch.
Thanks beth for the encouragement in my baby steps to health.
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linnyhopp, how are you?
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Boneseye,
Did the Livestrong program here in Mass. I loved it as well and the trainers were wonderful. The program should be available in alot more places.
Zumba tonight. Not losing any weight, but hopefully not gaining either.
Be well
Nel
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Bonseye--You have been through a lot. I can't imagine! I forgot that you had MRSA GrandmaV. You have fully recovered I hope. I have all new doctors here in NC and I have not developed a relationship with them yet. They haven't been with me through each diagnosis and treatment.
On the good side, my chemo brain is getting better. It's kind of rough when I am tired but I am coming out of the fog gradually. How are the rest of you doing with it?
I heard something on the TV last night about stresses in our lives and how they affect us. They mentioned a diagnosis of cancer and I thought, "Yeah, I have been there." It is so hard to believe all the things my body has been subjected to. I am living a quieter lifestyle now. Can't exercise yet but I want to and can't wait to be released to do it. My ankles swell a lot and I am told it isn't from surgery but what is it from? Do any of you have problems with swelling?
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bethu77-I laughed when I saw you mention chemobrain-I couldn't remember something on Sunday and just blamed chemo brain. My husband seemed surprised....I finished in April...they said it could take a year to be better. I still have trouble with words-I especially find when I am tired. I just laugh at myself and say-whatever. I am trying to teach my daughter not to sweat the little stuff....hard life lesson. Took me a long time to learn.
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My daughter, the mother of the twins, decided to surprise me last weekend with a visit. A surprise weekend visit with 3 month old babiez driving from Indiana to NC! I read a post that morning on Facebook that they had just crossed into NC. I told my husband this when he got out of bed. Since he works 2nd shift, he sleeps later than I do. He thought I was having a breakdown of some sort. He said I had that look in my eyes of a child who is going to Disneyland! I told him I was really okay and I thought they were coming down. My words were jibberish I'm sure because I was excited and can't talk too well because of the chemo brain! Oh, what a great laugh I have had over that one. I am loving the laughter now. Sometimes, I laugh so hard my belly hurts. It really is good medicined!
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GrandmaV ~ Thanks for missing me! I have been busy and tired from work and play, so haven't checked in like I know I should. Sorry, I will be better from now on.
I haven't had time to read all the posts from the past month, but I skimmed through and YES...I think it's a great idea to check in with each other. I have gained back the 35 pounds I lost during chemo and maybe even more. I am disgusted with myself. Want to try "old lady zumba" but don't know if I can do it without passing out. Will keep you posted if I get the nerve to do it. Can't stop eating, sweet then salty and repeat repeatedly! I think you all know how it can be to have lost all self-control. And the arimidex and prednisone I have to take probably make it worse. Bottom line...I am trying to do my best to eat better in the past few days and I am going to try and at least take a walk a few times a week. I know I will be encouraged by having all of you to be there when I am frustrated. Take care and I will catch up with all of you soon. Hugs to all of my November 2011 buddies!
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Linda, it's so good to hear from you. Your description of how you're gaining and cravings and hard to exercise sounded like you were describing me. I'm disgusted with myself too. I'm seeing my cardiologist today for follow up after herceptin and I have some questions to ask. He is not going to be happy with the extra 25 pounds I'm lugging around. I already needed to loose 50 pounds before diagnosis (at least). Joints hurt, muscles feel like they are non existent and I get tired just going downstairs to do a load of wash. It's hard to muster up some motivation. Please keep in touch.
Beth, I know what you mean about seeing the grandbabies. My grandkids are 15, 8, and 5 and I still get giddy when I know they're coming. I love being Grandma.
Bonseye, my chemo brain seems to coming and going now. I have days that it doesn't bother me at all, and other days I'm afraid to say anything for fear it will come out wrong.
Nel, You're our inspiration, so please keep prodding us to exercise. The weather turned colder this week so I haven't been walking. That's my excuse.
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Got to zumba twice this week and ache. But a good ache given last year it was from treatment. My son's girlfriend (18) was here the other night and we were talking about zumba. She was telling me how she doesn't like the old ladies in her class cuz they slow the class down, less intense. OK NOw. I don't want any 18 year olds in my class , I can't imagine. We jsut laughed about it. I like walking but hav trouble motivating myself to do that. My first class back to zumba, I almost passed out, blood sugar dropping. Did what I could, left early. I eat differently now before class.
Bonseye, Chemo brain comes and goes. But I do live for post it notes!
I continually think how happy I am to be a year out from most of this. I finish herceptin on Feb 15th, but this piece has been relativley easy for me and I am so very grateful.
Be well and a quote I heard the other day. The future needs all of us!
Nel
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So, today was a day that I planned to eat healthy...didn't happen! First of all the PTA moms gave us donuts and then the office staff was treated to lunch which included barbecue ribs, chicken, pizza, fabulous breadsticks (I live for dough), Greek salad and topped it off with chocolate cake. So with my lack of will power, the only thing I managed not to eat was the pizza. WTH...I am my own worst enemy! I just had to write this where some people might understand the struggle. I have also figured out that while my taste buds have recovered to some extent from chemo, sometimes I find myself eating stuff to try and actually fully taste it. When I don't, I seem to go on to eating other things indiscriminately. I have not read of anyone else having this issue, so maybe I am actually just imagining I can't taste well anymore and I am really going even crazier. Sheesh...as if I need that thought in my head!
Another issue that some of you have mentioned is chemo brain. I am here to say I know that it is real. I find myself saying words that are not what I am actually trying to say. However, I was a bit encouraged that my brain is still there when I spent all of yesterday working with school budget and actually ended spot on with my calculations. I guess we have to take the good with the bad, don't we? And, like Nel, I love and need post it notes! I almost always have 1 or 2 reminders stuck to the bottom of my computer screen so I don't forget things. I believe the person who created post-it notes should be canonized as a saint! Just sayin...
So, now that I have ranted for 2 paragraphs, I am going to pick myself up and tell myself it's one day at a time and tomorrow I will try for better self-control. Ladies, I am so blessed and happy to have you hear to "listen" to me. I promise to be more positive next time...no fingers crossed! Love you all and hope you are going to have a fabulous weekend. So glad we are keeping in touch...hugs...Linda
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GrandmaV ~ Forgot to say that I feel your pain with the weight issue. Started out fat and now back to just as fat and getting fatter. We will certainly have to keep in touch since we both need to lose our 50-75 pounds to feel physically better and emotionally better since our looks will improve to fabulous! Guess I have to get past talking about it and do something to change it. We are going on a Mediterranean cruise in about 3 months and know I need to get out and move since there will be lots of walking involved at the ports. Let's encourage each other and anyone else facing this dilemma, OK?
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Linda, I had to laugh at your description of your day with all the food. So familiar. I have a good friend who can eat anything and everything and doesn't gain weight. She's always trying to gain weight. I sometimes wonder if she's trying to keep me fat by bringing me all kinds of goodies. I'm really going to have to buckle down, though. If I gain any more I'll have to buy new clothes. I feel like I waddle now, when I walk, with more weight and stiff knees.. I really hated the weigh-in at the cardiologists office today. I didn't want to look. It was awful. I was sure the dr. would say something about it. But he didn't even though I had gained 7 more pounds since my last visit there 3 months ago. He was happy that I had no new heart symptoms and doesn't need to see me for a year. He knows a lot about herceptin and knew about the new studies that shows some women don't show the herceptin damage for up to 5 years, so I'll be getting echo's once a year now, instead every 3 months. That's one less doctor to see for a while.
Nel, I bet you could keep up with those 18 year olds and if not, it won't be long. I bet if the 18 year olds had been through what you have they would be slow and the old ladies would be complaining that they're slowing down the class.
Tomorrow is suppose to be a little warmer so my goal is to waddle for 6 blocks. One good thing about this is I'm definitely doing weight bearing exercise when I walk. I need to do that for my bones. Also I've started standing up from sitting without using hands for 10 repetitions to build bone. I've done it twice a day the last 3 days. Might as well put some of this girth to good use.
bahamamom, hope the exercising at the Y is going well.
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GrandmaV-How do you manage the pain of a torn meniscus and keep on walking? I couldn't stand to put any weight on my leg before surgery and have a problem standing even now. I had surgery on December 28 and even though I walk better, I walk like a penguin (so my husband says) when I get in a standing position. I am not supposed to do any exercise until I see the surgeon on 2/20. I have not been sitting around and resting as much as I should . I cannot wait until I can get in the pool and walk and swim and even aqua zumba. I need it so much.
Linda-I too always plan to eat healthy and then I see my husband's chocolate sitting in front of me. I have recently developed a great like for chocolate and can't resist. This is a first for me. I think it has something to do with the move to the south...hushpuppies, sweet tea and every kind of sweet or fried thing you can think of. Goodness me, am trying to sample everything!
Today has been a bit depressing for me. I saw a video about someone dancing during chemo singing "Stronger.' I think it is a Kelly Clarkson song. Anyway it brings back a lot of memories to me about that time. My husband doesn't know how to encourage me and I feel depressed and cry several times during the week. I know it has a lot to do with moving away from everyone I know and love.
I am so happy to get back with all of you, My November friends. You have carried me and encouraged me so much. I am celebrating your accomplishments with each of you.
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Beth, it was excruciating. It was the first part of November when that's what my pcp said it was. She didn't even mention surgery for it. She had me use an elastic knee bandage to stablize it and I had to stay off of it as much as possible for about 8 weeks. I'm still using the bandage when I'm up and around, but now it's more stiff than hurts. Although it starts hurting when I use it too much. According to webmd it depends on where your tear is if they recommend surgery or not. I just have to be careful not to tear it again. I have some stretching exercises I do everyday now, especially before a walk.
I walked 6 blocks Saturday and 8 blocks today. The 8 blocks is 1/2 mile. So I'm making progress, but I'll probably give my knee a rest now for a day or two.
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YAY!!! My tear was in the back of the knee. Everyone here is inspiring me to exercise. I think I will a little, I just won't overdo it!
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I have finished 2 full weeks of the LIVESTRONG program at the YMCA near me. I think I have done well. I do about 11 machines, lifting only about 10-15 pounds with my arms and more like 30-55 with my legs on those machines. I also do 30 minutes on the treadmill. It is just walking, but I try to push myself to take the incline up a little more and/or go a little faster each time. I am feeling good about myself and know it can only help. I do get a little sore by the time I finish the exercises for the night, but after I get in my warm bed with the heated mattress pad on at bedtime, I can feel the soreness loosening up some. My little grandson had his first birthday today, and my daughter had a big party for him with lots of food and cake and all the good stuff that is too hard for me to resist. So I did eat too much, but overall, I have been better and know that it is still a challenge for me to eat better and less.
I did have to shed a few tears this morning. My husband reads Ann Landers in the paper most every day, and today he placed an article next to my place at the breakfast table with a post-it note on top of it that said, "I wish I would have written this." I picked it up and read it. In summary, a man had written that his wife of 41 years had, had a brush with breast cancer a couple of years ago. The doctor had reported that he got all of it out and that his wife was going to be just fine now. But he wrote that since the breast cancer diagnosis they didn't take anything for granted anymore. He says that before they may have occassionally said a hurtful word to each, but that they no longer do that. He said that he can not remember any of his wife's faults anymore, but that he does remember how very much he loves her. He also said that his heart still flutters when he looks at his wife and that their marriage is stronger now than ever before. I was very moved by his suggestion that this was just how he felt about me and our relationship. I have no problem recognizing that the BC diagnosis has changed me forever, but I rarely stop to think that it has changed my husband, probably my children, my sisters as well. After I read it and dried my eyes, I asked him if he had written the article, but he said no, that he couldn't have put the words together that well. I am so blessed to have him in my life. Let's not forget all those who have stood by us and encouraged us, for it is scary to think how we would manage from day to day without them (and each other).
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Grandma -Thank you for the encouragement - I hadn't thoguth of it that way. But yes we do rock. I have a nasty cold this week, so the likelihood of getting to zumba this week is slim to none.
Bahamamom3 I did LIVESTRONG as well It was wonderful. I am glad you are enjoying it. Lovely story about your husband
Be well
Nel
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Hello to all my buddies! Just as it was during chemo, you all seem to mirror what is happening in my life. I do, however, have to say that those of you who are exercising regularly, are making me feel I need to get up off my fat butt and MOVE! I admire those of you who are doing the right things for your body. I am so tired when I get home from work, I just seem to plop on the couch for awhile. I am trying to talk myself into leaving my walking shoes in the car and not go into the house until I have walked for at least a little while. I will keep you all posted on how that turns out. I know that I have to get some stamina because we are taking a Meditteranean cruise in May and there will be lots of walking involved. I want to be able to enjoy things on my dream trip and not be huffing and puffing all the time. My husband made the decision that after a cancer diagnosis, we should do something special and wanted it to be what I have always dreamed of doing. It is also our 40th anniversary in November and we both will have turned 60...yikes! I know I am so lucky to have a wonderful husband who supports me in every way possible, so the least I can do is keep up when we go on the tours!
Nel, Bahamamom & GrandmaV ~ with all of the physical issues you have/had, you are still out and about moving and exercising. You are all my heroes!
Bahamamom ~ The story about your husband acknowledging his feelings is so touching and sweet. I have to say that since my diagnosis my husband is even more affectionate and attentive. Yes, we are blessed to have partners in life who realize how fragile life can be. So...maybe I should cook more often now!
Hope you are all having a wonderful week. I know I have said it umpteen times but once again...I am SO glad we are keeping in touch and I hope we will keep on doing it for a long, long time.
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Linda, I'm so glad we're keeping in touch, too. For a while there it felt like something big was missing from my life. But when we started this part of encouraging one another to better health it felt so good to have you all to lean on again. I'm slowly building my stamina. I may get to walk this afternoon, if the rain lets up. I'll probably hold it to a 1/2 mile a few more days. It still seems difficult enough that the last block I begin to wonder if I'm going to make it home. I still haven't lost any weight, but like Nel I'm not gaining now, so I guess that's progress. You'll do great if you can walk some after work. It makes you feel like you've accomplished something.
Nel, I hope you're cold is better, so you can resume your zumba. I hope I get to a point that I feel I can try that.
Bahamamom, your husband is really stuck on you. It's so nice to read about that. It's such a nice change from what you had to go through with him a few months ago. If you still had any lingering doubt about his communicating with his friend from his past, this would sweep all doubt aside.
You guys have been the catalyst for me to get moving. Thanks so much.
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