Starting Chemo in Nov. 2011...anyone else?
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Hello Everyone--I too have missed our friendships. No one understands me better than each of you! I have had a few breakdowns lately and found that coming back to these posts help me feel better. I am blessed by each of you.
Bahamamom--the letter your husband left for you is so special. I told my husband this past weekend that I felt fat and so very ugly. He has made a point of telling me each day that he is glad that I am alive and he loves me so very much. I needed to hear this and felt silly for telling him point blank what I needed from him. I am trying to look at myself in the mirror each day. My surgeon told me that needed to massage the scars with mineral oil to keep the tissue loose but I haven't been able to look at my naked body for so long. Now after each shower, I make myself look in the mirror at my scars and say "Thank you Lord for my life." Does anyone else have trouble looking at their body?
Yesterday, I woke up with the feeling that the fog had lifted from my brain. Could the chemo brain be lifting? I feel as if I can go again. I am excited to get exercising again. We don't have a Livestrong program near me. I did find a yoga program for my husband and I to attend at the local hospital. I am going to try my best to get there next Wednesday. I hope my husband will go with me. It is a free program and since I am bringing in an income right now, free is very good!
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I agree with you Grandma about feeling like something was missing from your life until we starting communicating more lately and encouraging each other toward better health. It is just that for what seemed like such a long time (at the time) we shared so much of our lives with each other and became closer than we were to most of our friends and even some relatives because we were so able to understand each other and what we were going through when other people couldn't even begin to relate to us. It was such a comfort then and now as well.
I am pretty proud of myself tonight. This is my 3rd week of LIVESTRONG, and tonight we had tickets to go to Derby Dinner, a playhouse near us that serves a big buffet dinner, and then there is a play. I didn't want to miss the opportunity to go to the play (and, of course, the meal), but it was the same day as my exercise class. So I asked the lady who is in charge of the program if I could come in earlier and do my workout right after school so that I could still have a fun evening afterwards. I could have just missed the workout, but I didn't. I am trying my best not to start making excuses because I know it would be too easy to just keep right on making them. I am sure I ate too much also, but at least I shared a piece of cake for dessert with my husband instead of getting my own, and I just had one piece of baked chicken with lots of good vegetables, instead of what all I could have had.
Linniehop, I know you are excited about your big trip. That will give you something to work for this year in getting yourself in top shape. We are kind of in the same situation with a trip to Hawaii this fall. I have always wanted to go there, and we have been planning to go when we are both retired. My husband has already retired last year, and this school year is most likely going to be my last one (75 more work days for me!). We will have our 41st anniversary the end of September and are thinking we will take our dream trip sometime around then. Like you, I am wanting to be in good enough shape to do anything we may want to do on our trip, and hopefully the sight of me in a swimsuit won't frighten everyone around us.
Take care, all.
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Bahamamom--do you pay for the Livestrong program? When I was in Indiana, I found one that was just starting in Indianapolis but it was 70 miles away and wouldn't be up and running for a year. My closest one here in NC would be in Raleigh which is 2 hours away. The nearest hospital is offering free Yoga classes for cancer patients and survivors. I am going to go to them. And walk. Can anyone else give me suggestions? I am just getting started again. My ortho doc said to not exercise too much until he sees me again on 2/20.
Also, I am having a problem and need some help with it. I think it is hitting me now that I have gone through some stuff. Some days, I cry a lot and on others, I am so happy to be out of chemo. Is anyone else having these ups and downs. I take my vitamin D to help me with depression. I take one Xanax a day because I don't like the way anti-depressants make my head spin. I am not close with my oncologist and haven't seen her since September. When I hear about someone who is diagnosed with cancer, I feel so afraid. I have not breasts so how can I tell if it is back. I am not like this all the time but when it hits, it hits hard. Any thoughts to help me?
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Hi chemo girlfriends (that didn't come out the way I wanted it to)! Can you believe that it's been well over a year since we started our chemo journey together....?
Bethu, I think it hits us all differently. I know that I think of myself as two people: the one before BC and the one after BC. When people ask me if I'm going to grow my hair back to it's pre BC style, I tell them no--and I'm not--metaphorically it seems like that person died and this new one grew in her place; not the same person at all. I tell people I don't even remember who that person was, pre-BC--I do, but I can never go back to her. Who was she? It doesn't matter because she's not coming back. We've been through combat, through a one-person war, and we're still fighting that war in our minds at times.
I take the smallest dose of effexor for hot flashes brought on by tamoxifen and permanent chemo-pause. Have you considered another brand? I do feel that it helps my mood as well...I can't take anything else since any other sSRI interferes with my tamox effectiveness...
I just wrote another post on the just dx thread where I said that eating well and making sure even when I don't want to I get in my 3-5 hours of exercise per week is empowering. I'm keeping up my own treatment in spite of the fact that chemo ended nearly 12 months ago and rads ended end of May last year.
Anyway--I am glad that this thread is active again, even for a little while. I missed you ladies.
Hugs
Claire
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Beth-The LIVESTRONG is free for 12 weeks. It really is great! There are only 3 people who are in the evening class, and only 2 of us come every time, so I get a lot of personal attention from the trainer assigned to us. I am trying to get as much out of it as I can. I may continue the membership at the YMCA and just pay for it for myself and my husband after this is over. It will give us something to do together and keep us active in our retirement. I think the class is over mid-April, and I will end my last school year on June 6th. I think it will be worth it, but I won't pay for the personal trainer or anything. That is why I am trying to get all I can out of her now (as far as tips and information on how to get/keep fit and lose some weight).
As for the 2 sides of me (the glad I am alive on one hand, scared of having recurrence on the other hand), I just try to keep as informed as I can about new developments in cancer care, treatment, successes, prevention, etc. It does upset me that I won't know if I have a recurrence unless it is causing me symptoms because this first time, I never had any symptoms, not even a lump you could feel, and it had already traveled into my lymp node. So I fear that by the time a rogue cell survives all that was thrown at it and sets up housekeeping in my bones, liver, etc., it will be too late to do much about it. In fact, my personal trainer told me the other day that her sister had breast cancer and has been thinking she was cancer free for 22 years. But now she has some kind of tumor in her lower back (bones). It probably did originate in her breasts. I just try not to focus on things like this. I do ask a few new questions every time I see my oncologist, all revolving around how will she and I know if there is a problem, and so far she has been able to settle my fears. I read a quote somewhere that went something like this, "If you always expect the worst possible scenario and then it happens, you have to live through it twice." I think about this a lot. I figure that as long as I take care of myself, keep all my appointments, and stay in-the-know about breast cancer, there isn't anything more I can do. And worrying about it won't change anything, so I may as well just put my energy into hoping for the best. I don't want to spend whatever time I have left worrying over things I have no control over. Other than that, I don't really have any ideas to help you, but I hope you get to feeling scared less and less often over time.
Claire-It is good to hear from you. I am glad you are focusing on staying healthy.
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Oh claire, it's so good to hear from you. I'm sure I speak for everyone here, we missed you too. I'm glad you said what you did about being a different person, I feel the same way. I do miss my former self sometimes, she was very naive and going through life without a clue, carefree at times taking things for granted. Now I feel I've come face to face with reality and it woke me up to how things really are. I wonder sometimes if it is just the shock of facing a potential death dealing disease, or if all the treatments have actually made some kind of physical change on a cellular level. I mean if cancer is as they say a mutated gene in our DNA that sets off a chain reaction that leads to cancer, and chemo, etc. fights it on a cellular level, in a way it's changing our DNA which is the building blocks of who we are. This may be totally wrong, but I do wonder about it. I found that some of my interests have changed, my outlook has changed, and personality to some extent. I'm still trying to find out what this new person can do. For instance, my hobbies I use to enjoy, I can't even stand to look at now. I have more empathy for people's problems and more desire to help others. I thought I had that quality before, but it is a deeper desire now. Sorry I also seem to have a problem of just rambling.
On another note, Nel had the idea to encourage one another to better health, whether it's loosing weight, or excercise, what ever we need to do. I hope you can join us. It feels so good to have the encouragement of our chemo buddies again. You all are the ones who understand. We've been with each other through some very dark times and it has drawn us closer to each other.
Beth, We do understand how you feel. We're all dealing with the 'what ifs'. I think about you often, because this is your second round with C and you have so much of it in your family, that's got to be hard to deal with. I'm with claire on trying to keep up my own treatment. Anything nutrition-wise that I find some science behind that fights cancer and is affordable, I try to incorporate into my diet, including foods, supplements, etc. Also the loosing weight thing, that's suppose to cut our risk of recurrence down. Exercise is also suppose to cut our risk. Now it's just a matter of being consistent with it, so I can really make some progress. This helps me feel I'm still fighting this thing. I was put on an anti-depressant for the first time in my life January of last year, when I experienced that steroid psychosis and I'm still on it. I'm not sure I would be coping as well as I am wthout it. But I do plan to try to get off of it sometime, when I feel I'm ready.
I'm still doing my 1/2 mile walk. But not as often as I should. I have such fatigue. My pcp said my iron was low, so she put me on an iron supplement. I hope that helps. Also my white blood counts were down, so I added some medicinal mushroom supplements that suppose to increase immunity. I think they must be helping, because my husband came down with a horrible cold a couple of weeks ago, and so far I haven't caught it. Haven't lost any weight, but I'm trying to get in the mood to really buckle down. I just have this awful craving for sweets. When there's none in the house I just about go crazy.
Hey, we did chemo! loosing weight and getting in shape should be a breeze. Look at bahamamom. Doing the livestrong program. You're an inspiration. I'm sure you'll be in great shape for your trip.
Nel, I hope your cold has improved so you can get back to zumba.
Linda, have you implemented your plan to put your walking shoes in the car and walking after work? Once you get started you'll feel so much better.
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Ahh the what ifs. Last night, snowed in, but with heat so not complaining, I pulled out my pathology report from surgery and googled every word I did not understand. That was an uplifitng experience, NOT! Many days I can stay away from the what ifs and feel like I am moving forward, but last night it was like hittting my self with a bat repeatedly. Today is much better, sun is out, the snow is beautiful. My nasty cold is gone, so tonight the question is chocolate lava cake and mac and cheese with my kids or zumba. hhmmmm, not sure there is much of a question.
I finish herceptin this comiing Friday, the 15th, Happy but frightened.
It is so good to be in touch again. This is the stage I now refer to as post tramautic growth ( I didn't make this up, heard another woman with BC use the expression) But more positive than post tramautic stress. On to the next phase, whatever that holds for each of us
Be well
Nel
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Nel, it's great you can find some humor in this. I had to laugh trying to visualize hitting yourself with a bat. It is what we do to ourselves, though. Hey, how about you go to zumba and send me the chocolate lava cake. Makes my mouth water.
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I know my weight gain is from the new love of chocolate. There was a time when I really didn't care for chocolate and my husband ate all of it. Now, I can't pass it up...30 pounds later. I have decided to lose those pounds. I drinks lots of water and not so much soda. Here in the south, they have sweet tea, lots of sweet tea. As I said before, for some reason I have developed a fondness for chocolate and I guess all things sugar. I tell people that when I am anxious, I absolutely cannot eat. Well, you can tell that I am very happy right now.
Nel, congrats on your last treatment. I sometimes still feel lost without my weekly visits to some medical facility but other days I love my freedom. I enjoy being able to forget about it sometimes. My mood swings are so bad right now. My husband is so patient.
I am so glad to have all my friends back. Hugs to all of you!
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Hello to all my wonderful November chemo buddies! I am so glad to see that quite a few of us have returned to prop each ohter up now that we are in the OMG I had cancer stage!
Beth, I am taking a small dose of anti-depressant. Thankfully, I have not had any issues with the drug. Or maybe I do and just don't realize it! I hope my family and friends will keep me in line if needed. I so understand your anxiety about fearing that the "beast" may return. I think many of us feel that way. As I told my husband a couple of days ago, when you get a cold or the flu, you feel rotten, but cancer was growing inside of me and I had no idea. I truly believe we are victims of post-traumatic stress syndrome. It has been a one person battle and only others who have gone through treatment can really understand. As hard as our loved ones and friends try to empathize, for me, only our BC.org buddies and anyone we know who has experienced it can really empathize. I know my family and friends try to understand, but fortunately they don'g get it and I hope to God they never have to face this illness.
Clairenez, I am so going to check and see if there is a Livestrong program close enough for me to join. I am so lacking in physical activity, it's pathetic. I really want to do more walking so I will be able to keep up when we go on tours for our Mediterranean cruise.
GrandmaV, yes, my shoes are in the car. Now I have to use them more often! Actually, I found a really great pair of light walking shoes at the Naturalizer outlet. I am hoping they work out because if they do, I am going to get another pair before they quit making them. I don't know about the rest of you, but every time I find shoes or (ironically) a bra, they quit making them and I am on the hunt again! Oh well, I guess it keeps me out of trouble!
Nel, I am still laughing at the hitting yourself in the head with a bat. I think a lot of us can relate. I have re-read my pathology report to and with the clinical writing of what was done, I want to s*** my pants thinking about ever having to go through it again. But like you, I seem to bounce back from the pits and tell myself to live my life because I know that I am totally NOT in control of what may happen. And being in control is an issue I have had for a long time. I guess I will just have to keep telling myself what will be, will be!
Bahamamom, I so get what you wrote. There really are two sides of the coin after treatment. Most days I think of it and can move on. But on the other hand, other days the haunting feeling I experienced when I was first diagnosed just seems to linger. Like I wrote to Beth...not having symptoms and being diagnosed seems weird. But, I guess we have to be glad it was sooner rather than later. A teacher I work with (we have the same MO) e-mailed him to ask what the standard of care is after cancer treatment. He responded that it's a 4 to 6 month recheck for 5 years, assessment of taking the anti-hormonals, encouranging a healthy lifestyle (my biggest problem...love so many "evil" foods), and bone density follow up. I want to ask him if blood tests for cancer markers should be done as well. Do you (or anyone else here) have regular blood tests done for follow up? Anyway, I think I am trying to do the same as you, not consciously thinking about the "what ifs."
So everyone...I am thrilled that we are keeping our thread alive. For me, I sometimes feel the need to talk to all of you just to be encouraged and supported. I hope we stay in touch for a long, long time. Take care and know I think of all of you and you are always in my thoughts and prayeres. Hugs...Linda P.S. Sorry I got so wordy!
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Not too wordy Linda. I don't understand how you can keep you thoughts together to write all you did. My mind seems so distracted lately. I wear New Balance shoes and bought a pair on clearance at Sears before Christmas. I had a bone density test done in December and I don't have the results yet. I think I am going to have to take a stronger stance with my new oncologist. I don't have another appointment until March and she is going to give me the results then. My anxiety levels are very high right now. My onco in Indy said I needed to be seen every 3 months and it's been 5 since I saw the new one. I feel as if I have jumped out of an airplane and I am waiting to open my parachute!
I am going to yoga on Wednesday. I won't do too much since my surgeon hasn't released me from the knee surgery yet. I just want to work on my "core." Why is it I feel so inspired to exercise when it is time for me to go to bed???
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Hello Everyone! I made it to the Yoga class. I couldn't get on the mat on the floor because of my knee but I did what I could. It felt good to move again. How is everyone else doing with their exercise routines?
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Hi Beth, Congratulations on your first Yoga class. The progress may be slow at first, but it will happen. Keep up the good work. I've been doing my stretching exercises for my knee. But I just don't have any stamina to do much exercising. I did manage to loose 3 pounds. But I'm really struggling to change my eating habits. I haven't been walking this week but I will try tomorrow. The weather is getting better again.
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Hi ladies! I took a break from on-linedness (I think I made up that word) for several months. I've been thinking about you all, though. It's encouraging that a lot of us are starting back to exercise programs. I've finally started walking again on the treadmill. I'm back up to 30 minutes at 3 mph.
Grandma and Beth you may have inspired me to start yoga again. I quit because the toenails on my big toes are still messed up and painful from chemo and any of the positions in a prone position hurt like heck. Well, that and because I'm pretty lazy.
Linny, Claire and Nel - good to see your familiar names/faces!
If you all don't mind, keep a good thought for me. I have a new lump at my surgery site and am waiting for results of the mammogram and ultrasound I had done last Wednesday. Waiting sucks and so does cancer!
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Phyllis, We think of you often, too. So glad to hear from you. You have waited a long time for the results of your mammo and ultrasound. I hope the lump is just scar tissue and changes from radiation. I have a thickening along my surgery scar and that's what it turned out to be. Keeping good thoughts for you.
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Phylllis,
Thinkof you. Keep us posted.
Be well
Nel
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I just got back from the Y-doing my workout. I really feel good when I finish and shower off, like I know I have accomplished something and am moving toward better health. Maybe it is because I now know how important health is, but for the first time I haven't once thought about quitting the program, even with it taking so long to lose any weight now. I finally have lost 3 pounds. Good job, Grandma! I see that you lost that much as well. Happy Valentine's Day to you all!
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bahamamom, thanks. I bet that workout does feel good. I hope I can get to a point I can workout. I added a couple of bone strengthening exercises today. Really more like stretches. I found them on the National Osteoporosis foundation's website. My bone density scan last April showed osteopenia and I probably should have started this sooner. I'm going to try to add a couple more each week. It's slow going. Hey good job to you too. 3 pounds is not easy and if I'm not careful I could put them right back on.
Phyllis - I really like your new picture
Nel - hoping your last herceptin is a smooth one and I know what you mean about being happy but frightened.
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Grandma,
Thank you and thank you to everyone else. This has been a wonderful support throughout. Had my last herceptin and am home. I have had no problems with the herceptin, so working this afternoon. Friends want to celebrate with me, yes and no. Yes pleased ever so much that I am done, but just strange (can't think of another word) as I take it all in
Good weekend to all
Nel
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Phyllis, I will be praying for you. I know the waiting is so terrible. Will the office be open tomorrow?
Grandma V & Bahamamom, congrats on the weight loss!!! Inspiring to me. I ate strawberries this week. This was my healthy moment for the week. Last summer I started eating the blueberries we had grown. I didn't like fresh fruit until last year. I have been craving apples, bananas and now strawberries. I know it is good for us, I just didn't have a taste for it. My knee is better so I feel like moving again.
I have pain where my port was taken out. Is anyone else experiencing pain at their port site? I had it taken out in May when my expanders were exchanged for my implants.
Nel, it is strange to be finished with treatments. I have been having flashbacks and crying jags recently. I think it has hit me all I have been through. I finished chemo, had exchange surgery, my daughter got married, my son got married, I retired from my job I had for 17 years, we moved from a home we had lived in for 28 years to another state, my daughter had twins and I had surgery in December. I think I am dealing now.
We had snow yesterday and it is cold here. I tell everyone that I didn't sign up for snow in NC!
Take care of yourselves my friends!
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Beth, I still have some minor pain where my port was taken out. I had it out in November. I don't think it's anything to worry about, but it might be a good idea to mention it to one of your doctors if it's severe or gets worse. Sometimes the nerves take a while to wake up after an incision.
My dh took me and the dog walking, yesterday. I am a little afraid to go by myself since my knee trouble and now my lower back. Sometimes it feels like my knee won't hold me up. I was looking at the side effects of the AI I'm on and I have a lot of them, including bone and joint pain. It's a beautiful day today and we're going walking in a few minutes. We go to the park so I can sit on a bench if I need to. It's so hard getting up off of curbs and it's possible that's what threw my back out. I'm calling my insurance tomorrow to see if a chiropractor is covered. My blood counts are still down (side effect of the antibiotic I took for mrsa and femara) so I'm still staying away from crowds as much as possible. I talked to a friend that works in the wound center I went to for my toe, and she said the infectious disease doctor's are really concerned about this superbug (sydney norovirus). It is resistant to all medications and resistant to hand sanitizers, and once you have it you're still contagious for several days after you're well. It's a nasty bug and in my weakened immune state I just can't afford to get it. So I'm waiting to start weight watchers and water aerobics until my counts are back up. I'm taking probiotics and medicinal mushrooms to try to increase white counts and iron to increase red counts.
Congratulations Nel! That strange feeling does diminish with time, but I'm not sure it ever goes away.
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Thanks everyone. Beth, I'm hoping they're open tomorrow. I'm getting a little cranky about the wait, but I know they have to compare to previous imaging. Hopefully I will know something soon!
I had pain and crazy itching at my port site for several months. Onc said it was most likely a cut nerve as Grandma said. It's much better now, though.
Nel, congrats on last herceptin!
Bahamamom-good for you on your exercising. That is so great!
Grandma - I hope your immune system gets back to normal soon! All of my counts are good, but my doctor mentioned to me that she calls the new white cells "lazy" in the beginning....as they learn their job. I never heard that anywhere else, but it keeps me careful.0 -
I did a mile today. It took me an hour. But I have found that if I take it slow and take breaks I can do a little more. 2 blocks from home I began to think I wasn't going to make it. But I thought about my friends here and the effort you all are putting in to getting healthy and it gave me that extra incentive to press forward. It's such a good feeling to be able to accomplish that.
Phyllis, please let us know when you have the results from your mammo and ultrasound.
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Grandma,
You rock!
nel
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WTG Grandma! Congrats on a mile!
My Nebraska onc's office called to let me know that they got a preliminary report. They said it looks like an area that they saw on previous mammogram. What the.....??? My last mammo was prior to chemo and surgery. How can it possibly look like that?
Now they want to schedule an MRI as soon as the insurance company will approve it.
I think I want my doctors at MD Anderson in Houston to look at the mammo and US at this point. They had said to send the report and they would see me early if the results were abnormal. I already had an appt. for March 6, so I may do the MRI down there.
I'm not looking for trouble, but I sure don't like inconclusive. I'm still hoping for scar tissue.
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Phyllis, it's so awful you have to wait some more, but I agree with you that you should let MD Anderson doctors take a look at it. I'm hoping it's scar tissue, too.
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Phyllis - I am so sorry that you have to wait and wonder about your mammogram. This is exactly the kind of thing that none of us need to experience. I think that doctors should really give us more of an idea of what their findings are than they do, especially when they know that we are super-sensitive to such information. I think most of us would be much more likely to expect the worst in our futures. Personally, I was in complete denial right up until the phone call telling me that I had cancer and all the details about it. And even then, my first question to the surgeon was did he think they may have made a mistake or looked at the wrong sample, etc. But now, I fear the worst every time I have a pain or any new symptom of anything, even things that couldn't possibly be related to the BC. I had a mammogam in September, and the results were "probably benign". I would have much preferred that the results be more clearly "no sign of cancer", but at that appointment, the radiologist read them while I was there and explained that after the surgery and the radiation, there were lots of changes and that my breast looked "as expected". She said that by the next one in 6 months (I will go March 28th), my breast should be more settled and back to normal by then. This is what I am hoping is the case with you. If I saw the findings your doctor wrote, I wouldn't even know what that meant.
Grandma, Congratulations on getting a mile done. it doesn't matter how long it took you. You got it done! That is the important thing.
Beth, I hope you are enjoying the yoga class. My port was pretty uncomfortable the whole time I had it, and even afterwards for a long time. I actually got it out spring break last year in April (during radiation). It was pretty sore, and even now almost a year after it has been taken out, one side of it still hurts some.
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Thanks everyone for the encouragement. No walking today we have 4 inches on the ground and it's still snowing. Forcast is for 8 to 16 inches. I hope they're wrong.
bahamamom- how's you're workouts going?
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Thanks, Grandma, for asking about my workouts. I think I am doing very well. This is the 5th week, and I have not missed a night yet. I go 3 nights a week. I do 30 minutes on the treadmill. I have moved the incline up from 1 to 3, and I have moved the speed from 2.8 (which was hard for me at first) up to 3.3 now. I am less than 5 feet tall, so my short little legs have to really hustle to keep up, but I can feel myself getting stronger every time I work out. I have also moved up the weights on the machines I use a couple of times already. The trainer said when it got easy to add 5 pounds at the time. My arms were so weak after some shoulder issues I have had and the breast surgeries that I was afraid to lift too much at all at first. I measured my waist, and it looks like I may have lost 2 inches there. I know my pants fit me better than they did. The weight loss is so slow, though, that it is frustrating. I am down about 4 pounds now, although I could go to my favorite Mexican restaurant and gain that back in one dinner.
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WOW and congrats to GrandmaV and Bahamamom. Walking a mile and losing inches...I cannot wait until I can say the same. Please keep posting results! I got the all clear and okay to exercise from my ortho doc yesterday. I start physical therapy next week but I am going to start walking. Both of you inspire me to get better.
When I was taking arimidex, my joints hurt so bad. It hurt to stand on my feet. I would hurt my urine as long as possible so I wouldn't have to walk. When I stopped the arimidex, my joints are so much better and the bottoms of my feet don't hurt unless I have been standing for a long time. My new oncologist said it was a "brutal" drug and that some people couldn't handle it. She said I may need to take one pill every other day but I haven't seen her so I am not taking anything. I have the gabapentin for neuropathy. Some of my fingertips are numb but it is not uncomfortable.
Phyllis, I really hate that you have to do this waiting game. You should go to those you trust. The waiting is awful. I ma praying for only good news. I know what you are going through.
Last year on this day, I was receiving my last chemo treatment. I think I will eat cake and ice cream this weekend. I need a party!
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