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Starting Chemo in Nov. 2011...anyone else?

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Comments

  • GrandmaV
    GrandmaV Member Posts: 1,045


    Julie, I'm so sorry you're going through so much. It just doesn't seem to let up. Hopefully they can fix this soon and you can get back home with your girls.

  • bahamamom3
    bahamamom3 Member Posts: 275


    Julie-so sorry to hear that you are in the hospital. You have been through so much already. Wishing you a very restful, healing time. Hopefully they will help you recover your strength so that you can go home soon.

  • YaYa5
    YaYa5 Member Posts: 532


    hi, everyone!! it's been a long time since i've been here, but i've read back a few pages and have caught up with some of you.


    julie, just damn. i hope you post soon to let us know how you're doing. you're having a rough go of it, but we're all here for you. your story about your 'friend' (and i use that word lightly) made me mad as a hornet. how could she? i'm glad she's out of your life now. with friends like her, who needs enemies, right? please take care of yourself.


    grandmaV, i'm convinced the lump is just fatty deposit, too, but these waits are unbearable. i read about the weight you're losing and i'm proud of you, too!. you've been a real trooper through this journey and loosing weight is not easy. YAY for you!! please let us know what your pcp says about the ultrasound. i miss hearing from you.


    i was going to address a few of the other posts i read, but i can't remember them now! just know that we're all in this together and each one of you is an inspiration to me.


    arimidex is not my friend. :-( as so many others have said, i feel like an 88-year-old woman and i'm only 68. haha! grandmaV, your thoughts about the medical profession are my thoughts as well. my pcp decided my cholesterol was too high (230), which it is, but i think it's because of the arimidex ... so she gives me a statin and the diarrhea has been unbearable. i finally took myself off the stuff and i'm better. i think the arimidex causes some diarrhea too, but with both meds, i was miserable. she probably didn't even think about that before she started handing out the drugs. ugh. i'm tired and achy, but all in all, i'm doing well. starting to feel so much better than this time last year ... happier, chemo brain fading, etc.


    i hope everyone has a restful, peaceful weekend!!

  • GrandmaV
    GrandmaV Member Posts: 1,045


    YaYa, So nice to hear from you. My pcp hasn't said anything about my cholesterol. It was up a little (195), but I've decided a statin would be the last resort if I can't get it down with diet and exercise. I have read that these aromatase inhibitors can cause you to gain weight (I gained 25 lbs. the first 9 months on femara) , so it's even harder than before to loose weight. So 15 more pounds and I'll be back to where I started and can start working on the old fat. I'm glad you're feeling happier and your chemo brain is fading.


    I heard from my pcp's nurse and he said the doctor won't be ordering a ct scan. Since this lump has been diagnosed as a lapoma the only thing they can do (and have insurance pay for it) is to refer me to a surgeon to have it removed if it's bothering me. It doesn't bother me physically, it doesn't hurt or anything, but it is bothering me as in worry. I see my onco Monday for my 3 month check and will ask him what he thinks before I decide. I keep remembering an old saying 'if it's not broke, don't fix it.' Also, 'Don't borrow trouble' has come to mind. And then the 'what if's' creep in. It's a good thing I'm on anxiety medicine or I would probably be completely loony by now.


    Julie, I hope you're doing better.

  • bahamamom3
    bahamamom3 Member Posts: 275


    yaya-glad to hear from you. Sorry you are having side effects with arimidex. I had trigger thumb on both hands (joint pain), but it is lots better now. The biggest issue I have still is vaginal dryness due to lack of estrogen. My onc has no suggestion for it and the gyno wanted to give me some kind of estrogen based creme, which I was afraid to take since the reason for the arimidex is to block the estrogen. If I could find a way to be more comfortable "there" I would be a happy camper.


    I was in the komen race for the cure today in louisville, ky., where I live. I had never been involved in that, but my daughters wanted to do it. It was very nice. They had all kinds of free food and other small gifts for participants. I had never seen so many people united together for one cause before. Some shirts were so cute. One said yes they are fake. The real ones tried to kill me. One team was called rack attack. And one had an owl sitting in a tree, and it said save the hooters. It was so uplifting. One sad thing, though, was the in memory of or in celebration of signs that some had on their backs. The very first one we saw said in memory of Grammy. That is what my little grandson calls me, and it was the very first one that my daughters and I saw. Tonight I sent my daughters a text and thanked them for walking with me today, and one said there was no place she would rather be. She added 3 miles? I would walk 3000 miles for you. I am so lucky to have my family's love and support.

  • TifJ
    TifJ Member Posts: 804


    Good evening ladies. I am sorry to say that I am the bearer of bad news - Naan (Julie) passed away Sat. evening while in the hospital. I don't know any details, but will let you know if I find out more. The news was posted on the Calling all TNS thread. Our hearts are heavy as Julie was such a fighter even though she was having so many problems. R.I.P. Julie.

  • sueshane
    sueshane Member Posts: 68


    I am so sorry to hear this. My prayers will be with her family.


    Susan

  • Nel
    Nel Member Posts: 597


    I am so sorry , thoughts and prayers are with her family.


    Nel

  • GrandmaV
    GrandmaV Member Posts: 1,045


    I'm heartbroken. It's unbelievable that she went so fast. She so wanted to be there for her girls. Thank you, TifJ, for letting us know. She will be missed.

  • GrandmaV
    GrandmaV Member Posts: 1,045


    Hi all, I'm feeling very, very sad over the news of our dear Julie. I can't get her and her family out of my mind, especially her little girls. I hope we get some news soon about what happened. I fully expected her to recover from her pneumonia and get back home, but I guess it was too much for her body to endure.


    I had my appointment with my onco today and he agreed with the other doctor that the lump on my hip is a lapoma (fatty deposit). He said the sonogram didn't reveal anything abnormal about it. So he doesn't recommend anything else be done at this time unless it grows, or starts to hurt. I'm relieved that I don't have to go to a surgeon. He told me to keep an eye on it. As bad as I feel about Julie, my news seems so unimportant, but I'm going to try to stop worrying and really live each day, because we really don't know what tomorrow will bring. Life is a series of moments and we shouldn't waste any of those moments.


    I know I haven't met any of you in person, but we do share a special kind of bond and I treasure knowing you all. Thanks to you all and to Julie for enriching my life.

  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 15,894


    Hi, Phyllis had ultrasound of right breast and axilla at MD Anderson today. Found a node. Bx'd. They ran pathology immediately and gave her the results. IT"S NEGATIVE. YAY. She wanted you all to know. She's taking a nap after the adrenaline rush. Best to you all. She hope's everyone's doing good and sends Hugs! sassy

  • GrandmaV
    GrandmaV Member Posts: 1,045


    sas-schatzi, thank you for telling us the good news from Phyllis. We needed that so much. Phyllis, get your rest, you deserve it. Looks like you kicked the beast to the curb. Congratulations!!

  • phgraham
    phgraham Member Posts: 909


    Finally, a connection! I am so, so sorry to hear the news about Julie. It just makes my heart hurt for her family. She sure lived her life to the fullest, though. I hope I can say the same thing.


    GrandmaV, I'm so glad that your lump is benign! My US yesterday really flipped me out for about 45 minutes yesterday, until we got the pathology back. I had to go home and take a nap! They think the node was swollen due to the cellulitis last month.


    Anyway, benign for GrandmaV and me! Yippee!


    Phyllis

  • GrandmaV
    GrandmaV Member Posts: 1,045


    Phyllis, so good to hear from you! Benign is such a beautiful word!

  • bethu77
    bethu77 Member Posts: 263


    Hello Everyone! I am so sad to hear about Julie. We never met face to face but experienced our BC together. Each of you have been a huge part of my life. I enjoy living in NC because I am healthier here. I didn't have people coming to support me during my chemo. Indiana reminds me of cold, sick, sad days. I was at home in the evenings alone most of the time. My husband worked 2nd shift. I want to enjoy each day just as GrandmaV said.


    I went to Indiana for two weeks. My daughter hurt my feelings on the first and second day. I was staying with my son and his wife. I said I was going to come back home and he said to stay with them. I am so glad I did stay. I didn't' get a chance to talk with my daughter. She was nicer to me. I thought my husband had talked to her but he said he didn't. We had a good visit and those babiez are the best! I laughed so much with them. I needed them. I had to come back because I had an appointment on 10/16. I drove all day (by myself) for 12 hours yesterday to get home and get rested for my appointment. I got a call this morning that it has been rescheduled until 11/15! I could have taken my time and stayed longer! My husband and I need our time so it will be okay. My daughter called me tonight on her way home from work. The first in forever! I am so pleased that we have a relationship again. She is even talking about coming here for Thanksgiving!


    I fell over the baby gate and landed on my right knee. It's the same one I had surgery for the meniscus tear. It was finally healed. No pain and I could zumba gold all over the place! I have lost 8 pounds by exercising and now I have to ease back into it again!


    Since my appointment has been changed, I have more time to get my questions ready for my onc. I am thinking about changing physicians. It takes 30-45 minutes to get an appointment or to speak with anyone. That's a lot of wasted phone time. I think getting new docs was the hardest thing about moving. They don't know me and haven't been with me from the beginning.


    Take care my friends and be blessed.

  • linnyhopp
    linnyhopp Member Posts: 466
    I am happy to read the positive news you guys have shared, but I am so sad about Julie. I have a pit in my stomach just thinking about how ready she was to fight and she truly gave all she could to try and be there for her daughters.

    I have not been able to check in for awhile and so much has happened so quickly. I actually found time to check in today because I heard an amazing story from someone who works with our school. She told me that her mother was diagnosed 8 years ago with hormone positive stage 4 breast cancer with 23 nodes involved and she is doing well and living her life with joy. I am hoping that this story might help all of us to keep moving positively in spite of losing our "sister" Julie!

    Hugs and love to all of you. I can't believe how blessed I have been to be in the company of such strong and brave women.
  • GrandmaV
    GrandmaV Member Posts: 1,045


    Beth, I'm so happy for you, that you got to see the babies and that you and your daughter are on better terms. I needed some good news.


    Linda, thanks for that experience. We need to hear more of those kind of experiences.

  • linnyhopp
    linnyhopp Member Posts: 466

    Just wondering...is anyone out there?  Hope you are all well and enjoying a great Monday.

  • GrandmaV
    GrandmaV Member Posts: 1,045


    Linda, I'm here, just nothing new to report. Can't stop thinking about Julie. I've been checking California obituaries everyday and so far I haven't seen one for her. I wanted to send a card to her family. How are you?

  • Nel
    Nel Member Posts: 597


    I am here as well. We had an offer on the house and have been negotiating for a day or so. I feel well, but really need to be out the stress of the house and the expenses. I think of Julie a lot. It all seems to have happened way too quickly. How unfair.


    Be well


    Nel

  • linnyhopp
    linnyhopp Member Posts: 466


    Hi Nel & Grandma ~ Like both of you, I can't seem to stop thinking about Julie and how quickly things progressed. I am so sad for her daughters...she truly treasured them. I hope they get all the support they need from the rest of the family. Nel, I hope the negotiations go well for you. I can only imagine how ready you are to have this done and over with.


    I do have some great news ~ about 10 minutes ago I found out that my newest great niece was born! Her name is Laynee Margaret and from the picture I got on my phone she looks a lot like her daddy. I have to wait until after 4 to see her because we are short in the office...dang. Well, I guess I can make it 3 1/2 hours more! My niece, Sara, could not wait for this baby to be born, but I think she and her husband are in for some surprises. They think life won't change and the baby will just go whenever and wherever they do....hmmmmm...we'll wait and see how that works out for them! ;-) Thanks for letting me share my excitement with you!

  • GrandmaV
    GrandmaV Member Posts: 1,045


    Linda, that is exciting news and what a pretty name.

  • Nel
    Nel Member Posts: 597


    Good Morning all,


    Linda wonderful news and love the story about the woman 8 years out, yes to living with joy!


    We came to an agreement on the sale of the house yesterday so wahoo. Sad to be leaving, lots of good memories over the last 14 years or so. But time to move on. Took both of my kids to look at the two condos I was interested in, there is a unanimous preference for one, but they both agree either would be OK..


    My son who has had substance abuse issues for over 5 years, he is almost 20 is doing so much better lately. He is moving away from those friends, began a regular job today and is doing a part time job on the side with sales. I fully expect some additional bumps in the road -but very grateful every time he moves forward in a positive way. Both of my children are adopted and both have half siblings. MY dd's half brother lives less than an hour away. My son went and picked him up yesterday and surprised his sister when she came home from school. She was so excited to have both of her brother's here last night. She does get bummed that they are both "hot" and she can't date either of them! The boys are both almost 20 and my dd is 15. She went out to eat with them and a few of my son's friends last night. I let her take the day off from school today, I am working from home. She and her half brother will spend the day together (if the ever wake up!) and then my son will drive him home tonight.


    Family is what you make it and our tree has many grafted and funky branches. It is all so good. I get along with her birth mom so well. My son's birth family lives down south, so much more difficult for him to have contact, but we have all been down there to meet and visit.


    And with all this going on - it has distracted me from getting too anxious about my first scan since resuming treatment. It is Friday. My onc said it is a bit early to maybe tell anything, but he is accommodating my anxiety. I don't need NED on Friday, I will take stable at this point. Fingers crossed and positive thoughts!


    So my long OT story for the day. Joy!


    Be well


    Nel

  • GrandmaV
    GrandmaV Member Posts: 1,045


    Nel, What a relief that must be, to finally get the agreement on the house. Now you can really move on. Thank you for all the good news about your family. Some good distractions going on. I'm in awe. You juggle so many things so beautifully, while going through treatment. All I can say is "wow!". I hope and pray that you're scan reveals good news. You're onc sounds very compassionate.


    Keep surfin'

  • bethu77
    bethu77 Member Posts: 263


    I think about Julie a lot. I guess it is because I have had 2 diagnosis. I have a small lump on the inside of my right breast. It feels like a pimple. I had an onc appointment on 10/16 that got rescheduled until 11/15. I am trying not to worry about it. An older (90 years!) lady from our church has been diagnosed with BC again. She said it is in her scar tissue. This is where my 2nd was found. I think about Julie and how fast it progressed. Four of my cousins and I have had BC. Three of us have had it twice. My Aunt is dealing with her first diagnosis.


    On the better side of my life, I am enjoying each day. I had a bad day on Saturday. I was just angry all day and couldn't get it under control. I am so thankful for my husband. He is stronger than I could ever be. He stands by my side no matter what. I have my down days but try very hard not to stay there.


    Be blessed my friends!

  • linnyhopp
    linnyhopp Member Posts: 466


    Grandma & Nel ~ Thanks for your good wishes. The baby is beautiful and will look great in the Christmas present clothes I bought for her before she was born...lol! Gymboree had a great sale and I had a coupon for an additional 20% off so I couldn't help myself. I also bought presents for the other 2 great-nieces. For once I am ahead of the game! It's so much fun to buy little kids stuff. I also have a fun gift for each of them. Boy am I smug today...sorry to be such a pompous shopper!


    Nel ~ I am praying that tomorrow goes well. I know that you said it's a little early to be sure of the results, but I know that any good news can make us less anxious when it comes to this lousy, rotten disease. It is wonderful that your son is doing so well. I have a close friend who dealt with her daughter's substance abuse issues for many, many years and she is now the deli manager at Vons, which is a major grocery chain here. I hope and pray your son will follow the most beneficial route for him. I am also glad to hear that you sold the house. I know how it is to have wonderful memories in a home, but think of all the beautiful memories that are to come in your new place. And, by the way, I couldn't agree more that families have lots of different branches. We are more of an extended family here and couldn't be closer if we were related by blood.

  • linnyhopp
    linnyhopp Member Posts: 466


    Beth ~ I can imagine your terrible feelings about BC since so many of your relatives have had to go through all of this crap just as you have. I have some really thick tissue from radiation and it freaks me out every time I take a shower. I had an MRI in August and felt better when a more thorough test has been done. I just don't trust the mammogram route any more. I am so glad that the RO requested one every year (with a mammogram 6 months in between), because I am in an HMO and I am not sure if they would allow it if she hadn't.


    We all deserve a day to feel angry or however we want. Sometimes I get cranky and my husband is understanding. I really don't like feeling that way so usually make myself snap out of it somehow. I am glad your husband is great about supporting you. My husband is my rock and I can't imagine how some women go through this alone. I am happy for you that you can move on and enjoy life. I, too, try to live in the moment and appreciate every day. It makes me crazy when people are complaining about the small stuff when, in the end, it doesn't amount to anything and was wasted energy.


    Hoping all of you are having a great day and enjoying the moment you are in. Love & hugs to all of my November '11 friends!

  • Quaatsi
    Quaatsi Member Posts: 270


    I am just sitting here staring at the post about Julie.... I am ...speechless... I don't even know how I feel....


    My love to ALL of you. Q

  • GrandmaV
    GrandmaV Member Posts: 1,045


    Quaatsi, It was a shock to all of us. It still is. I can't help but wonder if it was a complication of pneumonia. In her weakened physical state it wouldn't have taken much. Undoubtedly, her white counts were low from chemo. I remember she was on carboplatin and seems like abraxane and both of those cause blood counts to go down. An infection of any kind would have been detrimental.

  • linnyhopp
    linnyhopp Member Posts: 466

    I also still think about Julie on a daily basis...it's so hard to believe that she left us so quickly.  I am so sad for her children and the rest of her family.  Grandma...you may be right.  She was so physically vulnerable from all the treatments.  This disease just does not fight fairly.