February 2012 Chemo
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Ali, I hope you don't lose the nails, that is horrible you are having that se. Christina, I hope yours doesn't get worse either. Da*n BC! Hope you can have a good weekend anyway. Much love
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ali -the finger/toe nail thing is what i am very very afraid of this round of chemo--- sayin a prayer for you!
MLB and christina: usually here you pay the security deposit (traditionally same $ amt as a months' rent) and the first months' rent to get the keys- last nite i paid $100 to go along with application--if i don't pass the "credit check" i get the money back--if i do pass, the $100 gets taken off the first months' rent--she was great as was her hubby! they only just got the keys to the house thursday as they JUST bought it!
they are actually great with me not moving in til the 15th so they can do soem things- he is going to insulate the attic and repair the screens on the enclose dporch- a few are ripped...
i absolutely am in love with the house except for the deep purple carpet in one room but hey - you put a bed and a few dressers on it and viola- it hides!!!
so this credit check thing makes me worry only cuz i am so used to the "other shoe falling"! but it's basically to make sure that i pay bills and haven't been evicted...i feel good about it- and am praying!!!! trying to not get too excited til tuesday when she is to call me...
the only thing i know about gritgirl is that she is in DC area , lives alone and her first name is susan...other than that i am very worried- even more about her mental state than the cancer and stuff.... will be very glad to see her just say-"hey!"....
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Hi All
Haven't been posting much due to my laptop crapping out on my Friday night. I had to fire up my dinosaur of a desktop and had to do a bunch of maintenance on that but at least I can get online. I then had a brainstorm and hooked up my old monitor to my laptop this morning out of curiosity. Sure enough it was my monitor on the laptop that crapped out. But hey, its still faster. Anyhow, low and behold my laptop monitor is now working, weird. Oh well, while I was up in my office (which I rarely am) I got it totally cleaned out which I have been putting off for a while. Blessing in disguise. I think I'll take an hour or so today and clean out a couple of junk drawers. Its going to be really hot today so indoor activities are all that will be happening.
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It's been so long since I've posted that I can't possibly catch up on the reading. I'm happy for everyone who is done with their chemo, sad for those having side effects and still think of all of you even though I've withdrawn from being active on the board ...(due to depression and fatigue).
Physically, I just finished Taxol # 8 the other day. A month ago, when I was supposed to have # 7, I complained of fatigue and shortness of breath. Due to my heart history, they cancelled #7 and had me have chest x-rays, an echocardiogram, see my cardiologist and have a stress test. End result was the heart is okay. So that was good to know but that delayed chemo by two weeks. I am emotionally burned out with this whole process although the end is in sight. (I guess). I will have rads eventually also.
Personally, my daughter has had problems, is living in a tent in my backyard, but spends most of her time (with her dog) in my 360 sq ft house. She received part of her disability payment, will soon buy a cheap vehicle and then try to move away and be on her own again (she's been with me off and on for the past ten years). I'm weary of it! Believe me, there is lots I haven't shared. Again, no drugs or drinking, just a bad boyfriend and over the top emotional stuff. "This too shall pass", I tell myself, but I'm weary of her chaotic life. I've been trying to work part time and that has worn me out. The bills come in and I get more depressed.
I know all of you understand. Sorry I haven't been in touch.
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FLDREAMER, really sorry you have been down and chemo is crap I know. I hope your daughter moves way soon and gives you some peace. Take it from me, you will feel better soon.
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A 'funny' story to share! Remember that I'm 69 as I tell this....and that I've been alone since 1984 when I got divorced. Have never lived with anyone since then and haven't had a date (or other) since the 90's. Over a month ago, I met a guy who was interested in me. We talked at the event we were at and decided to get together some time. A week later, I was going to go to dinner someplace fancy with a free certificate I had. I invited him to join me. First red flag: When we were on the phone arranging it, I mentioned it wouldn't take me long to get ready as I didn't have to wash and style my hair (he knew about the cancer and the fact I wear a wig). He said "How about the hair 'down there.' " ? This guy is 81 years old! I was stunned and told him it was a personal question he shouldn't ask. I should have said, "you'll never know!." Anyway, we went to dinner. The arrangement was I covered dinner with the free certificate (it was a fancy place and cost $90 for the two of us). He was supposed to do the tip. He hemmed and hawed and hesitated when I told him it should be about $20. It ended up with me paying $10 and him paying the other $10. (2nd red flag). The evening was a dud. So much for dating! I'll stay alone, I guess. Before you suggest he was poor, he dropped $200 at a casino that same night, owns a new Harley three-wheel cycle worth thousands, has a new Ford Mustang convertible, a new regular vehicle, etc.....you got the picture. Oh well, I don't really have time to build a new relationship at my age anyway. My friends said I should have hung up the minute he asked about the hair 'down there.' Wish I had!
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FLDREAMER
That's hysterical, but what a tightwad the old coot. Imagine asking you that LOL! Sorry you had to waste your coupon on him.
Glad to see you back and that there will soon be a resolution to your daughter's living arrangment.
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That story is funny I'm sure you can find a toyboy
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Hi Ali
How are you feeling?
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Hi Ali
How are you feeling?
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I'm doing ok apart from finger nails falling off and a sore where the sun don't shine. Thinking of having permanent make done but a little frightened too. Going to have my line out soon so that will be good. How are you?
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That sucks about the nails and the other issue? You should wait until your're feeling alot better to go about the permanent makeup, although mind you if the doctor thinks its OK go for it. I'm feeling pretty good, energy almost back to normal. Just have to get the Herceptin TX's now until the end of the year and be a good girl and take the Tamoxifen which I have. No SE's to report other that slow hair growth but it could be worse right?
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Just like to tell you all the weight I lost through chemo I have put back on. So glad I am looking normal again apart from no hair anywhere.
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hello!
gsoh was truly hoping to see that susan gritgirl had checked in!
this has been a good weekend i guess- getting paid to be home today!
i've packed a few boxes and babysat saturday morning-did a short grocery trip yesterday- otherwise chillin out inside to avoid the heat!
very anxious to hear tomorrow that we got the house- will be devastated if not! after the good news comes i'll start packing enthusiastically and getting things arranged- utilities etc..
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Hun, I really hope you get the house I'm sure you will.
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Good Luck Lumpynme! You deserve some good luck for a change!
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lumpy - crossing my fingers for you that Tuesday things go well and you finally have your apartment.
MLB hope you had fun organizing things. Sorry about the tech problems. I don't get how it all works so that is super frustrating for me.
Sounds like you know about this stuff.Karen I am sorry you hare having so much stress. Family problems on top of coping with breast cancer and treatment is too much. And that dude sounds gross! I hope at least you enjoyed a good meal. Go for YOUNGER guys, not older.
Last chemo is tomorrow! Woo hoo!!! Anxious to ask about what my expectations should be for my lumpectomy #2. I want to know if it is reasonable to expect to have the tissue they remove be cancer-free. I sure hope it is.
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Christina
Last chemo!! YAY!!!
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YAH! for Christina-finishing chemo
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christina so happy for you, when you having your Lumpectomy?
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Going to see the nurse tomorrow to see pics of Lumpectompy, can't wait. Thursday i'm having the port removed because they said they would use my hand or foot.
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*doing the happy dance*
done done done, done with chemo! Just got to get through a few weeks' worth of side effects, no big deal, I've done this before!!! Woo hoo!!! I am so excited!
My consult for lumpectomy #2 is on June 6th. Onc says I have to wait 4-6 weeks after today to get the surgery. I am hoping it will be more like 4 weeks. Says I have to wait 6 weeks after surgery to start radiation. I'm only rushing because I am hoping at least some of radiation treatment will occur over the summer semester break. I am dreading daily rads + work + school; I have two classes in the fall to worry about.
Done done done with chemo!!! I go for my first 3 week dose of herceptin Thursday of next week. How nice that (after my neulasta shot tomorrow) I will only have to go every 3 weeks, instead of having an appointment and sometimes more than one appointment each week.
Happy happy!!!
Ali, happy for you to be getting your port out. I am glad for my port but I still HATE it!
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Christine
What a feeling huh! I know how you feel about the port. I have a tank top on today and I just walked by a mirror and it really sticks out. Me too on the H until the end of the year at least.
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Christina: so glad to hear you are done with the chemo. Hooray...Hooray!
Lumpy: Did you get the house? I am so hoping you got it. I understand so well how you have felt. (I've lived in 38 different places since 1964.) Moving is hell but living someplace you dislike and feel unsafe is even worse.
Ali: Sorry to hear about the nails. I have one that has changed color and aches. Not sure what will happen. Take care. Glad to hear of your port removal.
Question: Does everyone get their ports out so soon? My surgeon says she leaves it in for up to one year after chemo.....just in case it is needed again. WTF? (for what?) Maybe I'll insist on its removal sooner.
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I'm also concerned about Gritgirl. Is there any way the moderators of the board can contact her? Just curious...
That has made me wonder. For any of us if something happens (such as a a car accident, heart attack, etc. ) none of us will know why someone has disappeared. Stay safe, everyone!
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Gritgirl made an addition to her blog on May 24. So we know she was ok til then . That's all I know. Christina, happy dance for you. Last tx.! Woooh, whooh! My last one is next week Thursday- counting down. I plan on leaving my port in as long as I can with a bmx, I like that they use it for blood work too. Much love.
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I am stressed to the max: gotta share with someone.. Oldest daughter (47) (the one with problems) sitting in backyard sobbing and sobbing. Boyfriend just stopped by and left. I hate him so much! She won't tell me what's wrong. She knows the relationship is over and yet if he says something nice she has her hopes up again and if he says sometjing mean she cries like a baby. Think of yourself or your young teenager with their first heartbreak! I can't stand it. I hate this. I'm fighting cancer and her biggest problem is getting over a stupid alchoholic, asshole boyfriend. Nothing I or counselors say to her can change the emotional swings. (bi-polar...? but not helped by medication). I feel it is all so unfair. Nothing I can say or do....just have to let her cry it out. (like a child ). Sorry guys, no one I can vent to. No response expected.
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You are all so sweet to worry about me. Really, I'm touched. I do live alone and I live in DC so it means a lot that you all are checking on me. I accidentally killed the feature where you get emails when folks post. I was thinking to myself that everyone was so quiet. Oy. Feel like a bit of an idiot.
Ali and Faith, congrats on your clean scans. I go for an ultrasound of my breast and liver on Thursday (a spot check) and I'm praying we see less cancer in this scan. My oncologist keeps giving me more chemo. I know there's no choice in this, but still it has depressed me a great deal.
The doctor did cut the toxicity of my Taxol by 20% and that has helped a lot. She was worried the neuropathy in my hands and feet would become permanent. This week I felt a little less neuropathy and less tired on Monday and awake today (Tuesday)--I get my chemo on Fridays.
My oncologist has told me to go ahead and meet the breast surgeon so I see the oncologist and the breast surgeon on June 4. My oncologist keeps pushing for a lumpectomy but I am determined to do a bilateral mastectomy. I was really dealt a bad set of cards with the cancer going to the liver that I want to put all the odds my way in any way I can (ie, get rid of any breast tissue that can grow another version of this aggressive cancer).
I've caught up with all the reading. I'm sorry I missed it all. I swear. I thought everyone had finished and were just moving on with their lives. I was thinking I was the only one still doing this chemo crap. I hate chemo and at the same time it's been saving my life.
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Grit
I'm just happy you checked in. While alot of us may be finished with the chemo part of the program, there's always someone having surgery, scans, herceptin, rads. We're a good group here and we notice if someone hasn't checked in in a while. Like FLDREAMER says, god forbid someone gets in an accident or something, we might never know what happened to them.
Can't say I blame you wanting the BMX Susan. Sometimes I wonder if I should have done that myself.
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Yay for Christina!! So happy for you
YAY Gritgirl checked in! I am the same though you are Susan. I know I have to have one breast removed but I said I want both. Me personally, I want to get rid of any chance. do it all now and hopefully never have to again because I'll be clear and cancer free for many years!
Waiting to hear about the house Lumpy....
Ali, grats on getting the port removed.. I am going to be having mine for awhile I think
Hope all goes well with the appt too!Hope everyone else is doing well!
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