I look for other flat chested women. A rant.
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Go Anne!!! Agree with Bobo girl.
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I will definitely keep you posted, and agree her tone needs a serious makeover
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You mean, surely, that her tone needs some serious repigmentation
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I saw a series of photographs called 'diary of a mastectomy' on-line yesterday (I think it may have been a link from CNN). The woman evidently had immediate reconstruction. The final photo shows her with one high lump and one saggy boob (like mine). IMHO it would be more difficult to address that scenario than just being lopsided.
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I want to start a Flat and Fabulous site that shows the other side as NORMAL. Let's women know that we are NOT defined by our breasts. I found that whole video/site insulting. It just pushes the idea on society that if we don't have our breasts AND nipples we are less than a woman somehow. I didn't grieve for the loss of my breast, what I grieve for is the loss of my old life, and the new normal, dibilitating pain & fatigue, that this whole experience has left me with.
How many of your are 1/2 flat? And do you wear a prosthetic? And what size is the remaining breast?
As I think I've mentioned before - I'm 1/2 flat, DD and am considering a prophylactic MX to be symmetrical. I'd love your ideas, input, suggestions, and information.
Thanks to all of you that have already given me your input.
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Indeed, Momine
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I am 1/2 flat and only wear a prosthetic when I work, but not on the weekend if I don't have to. I wear a sports bra and have recently found it rides up on my MX side and feels like it is cutting off the circulation to my left arm. By end of the day very sore. I am considering rt side MX this summer as I work in a school and will have the summer off. Wanted it last summer but breast surgeon advised against it for one year. Well, I waited and it makes me want it even more. I won't do reconstruction, just something I don't think I need. I meet with my BS in July and hope she agrees. My remaining side is 38B. Tired of being lopsided, looking forward to being flat!
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Momine, I think her tone is in need of some expert 3-D photo-realistic tattooing
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I am 1/2 flat. Typically don't wear a foob during the winter. As it gets warmer here in New England I am struggling with what amd how to dress. Right now a blouse with a cami underneath works. I have thought about a pmx, but haven't done anything aobut it, not sure if I will. But would love to not be lopsided.
Be well,
Nel
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I'm 1/2 flat as well - wearing a 42D. I usually have my prosthetic on when I go out though I just go with one of those stretchy Aaah Bras if I'm going to go get a scan because I don't want to mess with having to remove metal (hooks in regular bra). At home I just go braless.
I decided against recon from reading this thread and others a year ago when I was making decisions. Recon would have involved surgery to my good breast to make it match since they apparantly can't (or won't) create a saggy breast. There were other considerations as well though my aversion to 'unnecessary' surgery was the primary one.
The lopsidedness is a bit frustrating at times but I doubt that I will get the other removed unless they find something there. All my scans this year have come up good though so I'm happy.
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Linda, I am half-flat as well. The remaining one is very small, but sadly saggy. I am not comfortable leaving "droopy" uncovered, lol. Although since my surgery bras have been quite painful so I do go without sometimes in the privacy of my own home if no one is around.
Because of the way they shrank down to almost nothing after having kids I have been wearing padded bras for years to make me look "normal". I continued wearing the same bras after my MX, didn't bother with foobs, just use those kind where the cups hold their shape whether anything is in it or not. Now the left side is empty and the right side half empty, lol.
But I have to say that finding this site and especially this thread has really made me think. About the whole issue of body image and why we women feel like we have to have bumps on our chest to feel normal. Or to look good. It's not that I was trying to impress anyone, I've been happily married for 20 years. I only wear A-cup bras anyway, men aren't going to look twice at that (I'd be uncomfortable if one ever did). Much as I always wished I had boobs, I never would have considered getting implants like so many women do. Surgery, to me, is too risky to do it for purely cosmetic reasons. I never considered reconstruction for a moment, for the same reason (and others).
Before this whole cancer thing, I used to say that if I wore one of those sports bras that squish everything flat against your chest, I could pass for a boy. That's even more true now, lol. But I no longer see it as a terrible thing, thanks to all of you. Maybe some day if the pain in my armpit ever goes away and allows me to wear a bra like that, I may try it.0 -
Linda, I am sure I have told you my story before, 1/2 flat for 18 months then a MRI showed I needed 3 lumpectomies in my remaining breast so I had it removed.
But my answer to you is I can't really say which is better, half flat or all flat. Each one brings unique problems. As well as unique good things. As my doctor said, "happiness is not really on the list of outcomes here" (considering no one wanted breast cancer or to lose even one breast).
Dressing is easier flat, but I am not sure that is a reason to have a breast removed. Terror you will get cancer again IS a good reason to have it removed. (This was me, terrified to do breast cancer again). I respect the position you are in...it is a tough decision, one I would not have made had I not needed the 3 lumpectomies and why keep a breast when 1/3 is removed?
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I may have missed this somewhere, but are there any reasons not to go flat? Other than the oblivious looks? Are there health issues if I go flat?
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LynnME - I don't there are any health issues with going flat. I really wish that I'd had a PMX of the "good" side, just because I hate wearing a prosthetic all the time. Lately I've been going half flat most days, and it's much more comfortable for me. (Bras cause pain and increased LE swelling). I haven't really noticed people looking at me. I wish there was some way to have the PMX without surgery
I really appreciate all the input - thanks!
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That's a great idea Linda! A PMX without surgery.
I am going half flat too, some of the time. I have found that wearing a really firm shape wear tank is the best thing for me. I think you are a little larger than I am. I am a "D" cup, but I find this really comfortable.
I really don't have any issue with wearing a "Foob" either, I have quite a few different ones now, and they are all fine in their own way, with different outfits. I also really like some of the actual Mx bras I have bought. I have a sore spot where I had the Mondors Cording on my ribcage, but I find most of these bras have a band that sits fairly well on top of it. It has all just been trial and error.
I wonder if my feelings will change with time, it is early days for me.
Were any of you happy with being a Uni at the start, but then grew to dislike it, and favoured a PMX later?
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Good question Ariom
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Lynn, no problems that I know of. Some people will claim that your shoulders will sink in or that your posture will collapse without fakes. I can see how the adjustment could be problematic, posture-wise, for women who had large busts. But I was always on the small side, and so far (almost 2 years) I have not observed any difference or problem. The only difference for me is a positive one - I have no breast pain anymore. Those damned things hurt a lot. I should add that I make an effort to stick to a regular exercise schedule, and I guess that may have an influence as well.
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I think there's a lot less health problems in going flat than in recon. Or so i've been told.
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And no problems from not wearing foobs.
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Hi Ladies, I had a bmx on Feb 27 and I have chosen not to have reconstruction. Also, no foobs. It was a decision that has evolved since my surgery as initially I was unsure about recon but figured I would probably, at least, get prostetics. As I have been going through recovery I realized I just didn't want to go through the surgery involved in recon and couldn't think of a good reason for foobs. I never led with my 'girls' as they were never 'all that' anyways, lol!
I am satisfied with my flat chest (except for my 'chicken wings' on either side of my breast bone that I plan to get fixed once I am fully recovered) although I have worked actively on building my confidence with my new physique. I want to embrace my new normal. I have noticed that some of the ladies that I work with seem afraid to look below my chin, which annoys the heck out of me, as I went through a lot of blood, sweat and tears to get here and I am neither embarrassed or ashamed of my cancer dx or my tx choices. Please look at me, compliment my shirt or necklace or whatever, don't make me invisible. (Oops, mini rant over!)
In any case, flat and fabulous, and no regrets.
I think all of us, uni, bmx, recon, foobs or flat, should be applauded for the difficult decisions we have had to make for ourselves.
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I posted a comment on this Facebook page in response to the post about "Radiation may not be a breast cancer cure all." This morning I saw a post from yet again a sister in scars whose surgeon left a bunch of extra skin "just in case". I was in rant mode and it landed here.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-American-Society-of-Breast-Surgeons/139541536094300?fref=ts
Welcome JuanitaB. I too am Flat & Fabulous.
Barbara
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Alexandria, good point. All else being even, skipping recon ought to result in fewer problems and complications. I should also add that I do wear foobs a lot, but really light-weight, tiny things, so weight-wise it is equivalent to not wearing any.
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Starak - good post on Facebook. Will the doctors pushing recon notice it? Probably not, but eventually we'll make a difference.
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Hello,
I see a few faces I know ( Hi, Alexandria!) from other threads - well, I didn't get any answers to the thread I started asking questions about "deconstruction" but several good comments on other threads. I had expanders ( in hindsight realize I didn't need them, I had HUGE boobs, both removed, and could have had immediate implants - but now deeply convinced the surgeon and PS she worked with deliberately extended the process: =$$$$$$$$. Of course, can't prove it, but went to a different hospital for chemotherapy - and had the implant done by PS at yet another hospital, to AVOID ever having anything to do with the original doctors, or their hospital.
6 years of very small ( my choice, 300cc) implants, terrible cosmetically, more "foob" under my arm than projecting on my chest, ready to have them OUT. Love not having to wear a bra even with the implants. Questions I had were about the procedure, could it be done in PS office, will I have to have drains ( PLEASE, oh, please no drains) - and what about the flabby skin, does that stay. Well, I see the PS who I LOVE, really a wonderful woman, on June 5, so I'll get my anwers pretty soon.
If anyone wants to know why NOT to have small implants inserted under the pec muscle ( which I HOPE wasn't cut???) the answer is - IT IS NOT WORTH IT. And always, always, always feels just plain strange. IMHO, of course.
Smiling thinking I will be another "buddha" with a belly projecting more than my chest - it does NOW, but I think I'll like being a Flat Buddha better than a bumpy buddha.
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Sun, welcome to Flat and Fabulous!!! I agree that it's better to be a flat buddha.
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I have sen some wonderful flat chests with beautiful elegant scars, but what if your scar area is like a rocky road with so many lumps, bumps and cracks, can you get those evened out? Does it change over time?
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Meant to say, after having all her scars removed, and going flat, a friend had the MOST gorgeous tattoo done on her chest. really like that idea. She had it done after a local reoccurence.
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How were her scars removed?
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Welcome! 7 months out and feel great. Flat, fabulous, sexy, healthy, with no regrets.
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Hello Juanita, Welcome!
I was interested to read your observation of people trying not to look at your chest. I am a Uni, but mostly wear a foob when I am out, no desire for more surgery to recon or to remove other side. I also have no issue with my chest or my scars either, and agree that we went through a lot to get here.
I am really glad that by talking about my experience, I have encouraged several women to get a mammo, who should have done so years ago. All were clear, thank goodness.
Sunflower, I have read some of your posts, but know nothing abouth having a deconstruction, so couldn't comment. I do applaude you though, for making that decision, and really hope there are no drains involved. You wouldn't think so, would you, for removal? Flat Buddha sounds just fine!
I am fascinated with the idea of an "Elegant Ink" over the scar, but have such a fear of setting off LE. I am investigating getting a large Mehindi (Henna) piece done and getting some photos done for my 60th which is in July. I'd like to capture a good shot before everything goes too far south! LOL
Lily, I have seen some scar re-dos, not Mx, that have showed amazing improvment. I think it was done with lazer. Depending on just how lumpy you are talking about, there is the silicone strip therapy that is used extensively by plastic surgeons. I have been using mine for a couple of months now, and have had a great improvement in color and flatness of my scar.
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