I look for other flat chested women. A rant.
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Joining you ladies! Diagnosed with breast cancer after I went in for my very first mammogram the day before I turned 40yo. Once I heard the bad news, my gut instinct said BMX, no recon, and I haven't wavered since. What I hated was how everyone just assumed I'd want reconstruction. The PS I met with told me several times that I was "doing the right thing" (what does that even mean? is there a wrong thing?), and started measuring me for implants right then and there as if it was a done deal. I felt so icky in the office, I knew it was not for me. I've had 2 c-sections, a biopsy, and now a bilateral mastectomy - I am just completely DONE with surgeries and needles and blood and pain and recoveries and healing my poor, battered body. I would be more than happy if I never have to have another surgery for the rest of my life.
So, bring on flat and fab! I'm looking forward to treating myself to some new clothing to better accommodate my new look. We are supposed to be going on a big family trip to Hawaii in mid-August to celebrate milestone birthdays and me being cancer-free, so I'm already looking into bathing suits. Thanks to you ladies for the links above!
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The drains are out. The doctor said the pathology report on the spots found were no malignancy found. So excited. She said I can get back to 1/3 of my normal activity and slowly get back to my normal life.
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Wencit- Welcome, and I am so sorry to have to meet this way. I'm struggling to find the right words to say. Incredibly bad luck. Your first mammo ever, doing everything your supposed to do and WHAM! I guess in a small way there was some good luck too since you got onto it right away. I hope you have a wonderful vacation and yes, here's to no more surgery. Ever.
Prek- Yay! Drains out! So happy for you, it's a huge milestone and wonderful to start heading back towards your real life.
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YAY Pre-K!!!!0 -
Prek, great news! And I'm glad to see another young flat and fab. I'm sitting in my Breast surgeons waiting room for last preop consult. I'm38 going on 39. Ok w being flat. You ladies are all my rock! I wouldn't have been able to make this decision w/o reading how you all did it first . And with such grace.
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picked up my "why bothers" at the foobie store today, right now they are upstairs on my closet shelf, but I really do like them. They're Amoena contacts which I've been wearing since forever, but now since I'm flat on both sides, I can wear or not as I choose. My husband bought me a very hot European bra I'd been studying on, and it also arrived today. Ooooh la la.
While picking up the foobs, the fitter who also wears them when she feels like it is another flattie and told me so many just get sick of the reconstruction surgeries, and do overs and finally go flat and are a lot happier, many of them she said are young women, the way I was 25 yrs ago.
Maybe flat and fab is trending
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Suladog, I love the way you refer to them as "why bothers". I'd like to get a pair like that myself once I'm healed and less swollen after July surgery is completed. You mention these European bras and in another that your husband got you some Victoria's Secret ones. I'm curious, are they the bralettes? Do the Amoena contact "why bother" size work well with bralettes, or do you find full coverage bras that work well with these. If I had Amoena contact prosthetics I'd want to have the choice to wear them with nice looking bras or bralettes, and not just the leisure ones. Otherwise, when I'm wearing looser tops, I might just go flat and fabulous, and "not bother". LOL0 -
jkbrca2,
I'll send you a link when I get home, as I'm having my Herceptin infusion right now. I'm a 34A so nothing much there, the bras my husband got me are by Anita and very beautiful , I'm wearing a Victoria's secret bralette, right now little lace triangles and they cover perfectly. Amoeba is coming out with a line of gorgeous stuf either this fall or next Spring so I hea
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My physical therapist just recommended I get a compression bra or two to prevent lymph edema or just post surgical swelling...even though I'm 3 months out from surgery. I'm a total flattie, any idea where to start looking for such a thing? Thanks!
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littleblueflowers: I have truncal LE and what works for me is a breast binder from EAB Medical. They come in nice colors and look like tube tops. Same company also makes compression bras, but that didn't work out for me as it was too tight around my LE area. I'm a uni-boober, so I have to balance out compression with support for Righty. http://www.eabmedical.com/index.php?cPath=1 Here's a link to EAB Medical.I also use a Wearease compression bra when I want to "dress up" and look like I have 2 breasts! Rare occasion, indeed, but that's what I use. http://www.metromedicalonline.com/wegracehp.html I think this is the bra,,, but look around Metromedical for other compression bras and vests,, they generally have very good prices.
You may want to look around in the Lymphedema forum too. Some very knowledgable people over there. And this website is really really helpful. Lots of information on garments. http://www.stepup-speakout.org/
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littleblueflowers, maybe a Genie bra would work (without the inserts of course).
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Glennie: I too have joined the truncal LE club. Sigh. My swelling seems to be principally under my arms and around to my back. It's more significant on my cancer side but I think my prophy side is involved too. The EAB binders look very interesting to me. Do you find that you need to use the straps with them or is there enough compression to keep them up? I guess the fact that I have no boobs may make a difference in that regard. Are they soft enough that you don't find them abrasive to the underside of your arm?
I'm using kinesio tape right now and the compression tee developed by the ladies on the Lymphedema thread. The tees I ordered are a little too big. I'm going to have to order down a size to get more compression.
By the way, I really miss the group of bad asses. Are they all doing well?
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oh, I should have mentioned to get the LINED breast binders. That was the suggestion over on the LE thread and that's what I got.Kathy: I do have a strap,, singular,, cuz I lost one,,,And it helps, BUT it is thin,,, you would think they would make a wider one for those of us with LE, cuz thin straps could be bad,, but nope,, it's thin. So I got a pad that slides over the strap to help keep it in place. You can find those at the lingerie area in Walmart or Belk's or other stores. I don't always wear it either. I do tug a bit, and perhaps if I wasn't lopsided, it would stay up better! But I've tried a lot of stuff and this is what works best for me,, so if I have to tug,, so be it. I could never find a compression shirt or camisole that really helped me,, being a uni-boober. Never enough compression where I needed it, cuz Righty was in the way.
I also use a Swell Spot in the binder, to put extra pressure on the area that I need,, again, because I'm not completely flat, this helps the binder put pressure where I need it. The binder does an excellent job of keeping the Swell Spot where I need it,, yes, I tug a bit,, but it's the best for me. I couldn't use the tape,,,, had a bad reaction to it.
The bad asses that I'm in touch with are doing well!!
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I rarely do anything but wear compression. I was quite large and have uncomfortable lemon-like dog ears full of scar tissue and nerve and other types pain, now unbelieveably, 7 months post surgery. I have not been officially diagnosed with TL, but my PT has worked relentlessly on scar tissue management. Some time ago I realized I felt better if I put that old crappy ace bandage they sent me home from the hospital in.
I also, like Little Blue, bought some corsets kind of, one black black and a cream, from EAB, and maybe one from Cure Diva, with Velcro closures, very pretty, and a little lacy. Especially nice under the arms is a little gathered 1/2 in of lace to avoid cutting in there where it hurts, and having all the loose skin supported is a huge help. I also bought a couple of genie bras with inserts holes that ether do or don't have to be worn with a prosthesis. When I was trying the idea on for size, (that is, sometimes a piece if clothing just looked like it hung better if I wore a prosthesis) I got a couple of nerf balls and sawed them in half. Perfect b cup. I occasionally would use them, but I didn't think it was worth dumping a lot if money into real medical prostheses. But nerf balls aren't really a proper breathing garment. So a friend turned me on to knitted "foobs". They will make any bc patient a single or a pair. In whatever size you want. I am finding I have a lot of feminine clothing options now that I didn't have before, so I'm liking B instead of DD. They are soft, move with you, and are made from good quality, lightweight yarn. You can even get a little nipple sewn in! I like them very much, and they came very fast. I never cease to be amazed at the amount of people who give back.... Just because. Seeing thus nice side of people has been quite healing for me. Sorry I don't have a link, but I think they are googleable.
All this talk, coming from me, seems really silly. I don't miss my boobs. At all. After all, they tried to kill me. I don't miss my hair right now, especially in summer, and I go commando everywhere now. It's great! It all comes down to the functional, and managing pain, since I have been so very unlucky in that department. But to each her own. I just have no desire to go under the knife for a procedure that won't let me feel sensation, and to my way of thinking, it looks the same on the outside. I think if I was younger, and had healed better, and not be in fear of now having pain for several years and maybe forever, my opinion and decision might have been different. But I doubt it.
Nice to have you all to commiserate with, and validate my feelings.
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Jackbirdie, A few women have had those "dog ears" removed and at least one had less pain afterward. You might talk to a PS or BS about the possibility of having those removed. Ask if they think it might help the pain.
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Thanks you guys! Dang I wish my surgeon had mentioned something like those breast binders! Way nicer than making my brother wrap me in a big ace bandage after surgery.
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Anita Fleur brajkbrac2,
Here's the link
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suladog, those bras are hot! Now can I have the models abs too?😊
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little blue,
Ha! No kidding. The Anita bras have very cool models cause they're from Europ
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Hi Suladog, just wondering how did you find the amoena contact? I have read online about them but not met anyone actually using them who could tell me how the experience is.
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Suladog, thx for the link! I better start doing those sit ups now! But really, that is a beautiful bra
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MT1,
excellent!!! you guys look great. Love your hair! Sometimes I wear something, sometimes not, I'm small enough that it doesn't matter and unless someone knows what I had, no one even looks there.
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MT 1, that video is inspiring! Thanks!
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MT, You go girl!
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Thanks Glennie19 for the source for the binders. I was fortunate in that I was given a lined one after my stereotactic breast biopsies. I then forget that I had one until recently when looking for my large compression bandage. I had BMX with no reconstruction the end of April and have not felt ready to wear a prosthesis due to chest tightness, however, putting on my pink print binder I feel much better. I am thankful to the breast center where I had my biopsies even though I was much to sore and wanted to escape the MRI room as soon as I was done to thank them properly.
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Hi there, sounds very good! I share your views. I am 58 years old and breast cancer took my breasts. My mother also died of breast cancer, so I did not want to keep the healthy one as well and decided to go without reconstruction. it was a big decision for me. I am happy and doing ok. As you said, it would be nice to see and meet women like you. Take care.
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There's a closed Facebook group called "Flat and Fabulous". All you have to do is ask to join.
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Last August, after five years on Tamoxifen, 33 radiation treatments and an initial lumpectomy, followed by a nipple excision on the cancer side from unexplained nipple bleeding, and a repeat of the bleeding of the other nipple 6 months after the Tamoxifen was gone, I opted for a double mastectomy with reconstruction. My body rejected the extenders with infection type symptoms, and after a 5 days hospitalization three weeks after the double mastectomy, I opted to remove them. To top it off, my dad died a day after my initial surgery and my newly married daughter advised she was divorcing the week before the surgery. Needless to say, I have had a rough year since, grieving the losses in no particular order.
My breasts were large and were noticed. Now I have puffs of skin that look like blinking eyes without the lashes, so, I have opted to have that excess extender prepared skin removed on September 2nd. As of late, I have realized how bothered I am not having breasts but the thought of fake breasts, making me hot and sweaty is even less appealing, I miss the woman I was - I fed my children through those breasts, derived sexual pleasure from them, and felt like a woman with them.
My spouse is not bothered at all because he is glad I am alive, but I am bothered. How do you cope
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