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I look for other flat chested women. A rant.

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Comments

  • lezza13
    lezza13 Member Posts: 579
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    Whatjusthappened. Congrats on such nice microbeads. I hope they are a great solution for you.

    Christene50: Just FYI I went to a physical therapist for my frozen shoulder and after several sessions it feels so much better. No reason it seems for you to have so much pain. Also check out the website on the post above. The knitted knockers might be the solution for you or those microbeads.


  • Horsemanski
    Horsemanski Member Posts: 1
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    for all of you thinking about living flat - I have a site to beware of. Berrylook is an England based company and I ordered blouses from them but alas they were the wrong size, material was not what I wanted and come to find out they will not refund my money or give me an address on where to return these unwanted items says it costs to much to return them.. If I had known this I would never have ordered from them.

  • kayarose
    kayarose Member Posts: 35
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    Whatjusthappened, your forms are perfect.  I'm definitely going to try making them.  Thanks.

    Just an FYI, I have Medicare and Blue Cross Supplemental and have bought microbead forms from TLC Direct.  I had no problem with coverage from either insurance.  I received reimbursement checks very quickly.

  • Christene502
    Christene502 Member Posts: 47
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    Lezza13

    I went to P/T for 3 days a week for 12 months. I purchased all the equipment, pulleys, weights, stretch bands, you name it... nothing helped my frozen shoulder... 3 Orth Surgeons said they won't touch the shoulder ( shoulder replacement) since I had a bad bone infection there... so now I fear having lymphedema in my "good' arm. Breast surgeon was impressed how well I am moving my left arm, being the severity of my breast cancer. He told me no lifting, no raising arms, just move the shoulder gently...

  • lezza13
    lezza13 Member Posts: 579
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    Christene50

    Sorry the therapy did not work for you.. I only lift 2 pound weights. I guess I should have clarified I went to a physical therapist that specialized in lymphedema which I don't have/. She did pressure point therapy on my shoulder. What works for one person may not work for others. I still feel tightness in my right shoulder with those muscles. IF you do think you have lymphedema, there are other therapies to try and forums here about that subject. Best of luck

  • DebP59
    DebP59 Member Posts: 2
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    I've been making my own bra inserts using microbeads and weighted microbeads, both purchased at Joanns Fabrics. I have been using a this Dri-fit material purchased there for my "netting"(backing to keep in beads or inserts) I have gathered over the years, those little bra shape pieces they stick in sports bras, bras and swimsuits. You can also purchase them at Joanns. Set down the bra insert or formed bra, upside down on a piece of paper to get a roughly flat piece (that goes against your body) pattern. the first ones I hand sewed onto bra (tight stitches). but now I use machine. Leave a 1/2 inch opening somewhere along seam. I use a small funnel and add first 1/2 cup weighted and half cup regular microbeads. That makes a "B" cup. But I am very indented right now, could be more on you. I have these bra inserts from a Danskin  sportsbra (Walmart). Much bigger, wider, deeer bra insert. Today I am filling them, for a "C" cup insert. I use Tru &Co. bras. They are a lot like Coobie bras, but very soft and silky against your skin. I bought a size up (I fit in medium, and used them but next purchase will be large). Incredible bras. Coobies more reasonable for pricing. If this website lets me, I will post pictures of my new "bras". I also used my former formed cup bras (t-shirt bras). the work nicely too. I just found a little weight was needed to keep bra and inserts down on flat chest.  

  • redninrah
    redninrah Member Posts: 366
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    HI,

    im in this group because i cant have any reconstruction as the radiation burnt my skin and 2 implant reconstructions failed. My DIEP failed too.

    So I cant and wont have any more surgery. Its summer now, and im having issues with bathing suits and prosthesis that arent heavy or sink causing my chest to look wierd. What do you ladies do if your not going flat in pool? sorry if I shouldnt be asking this question here.

  • wren44
    wren44 Member Posts: 7,907
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    I got a mx swimsuit top from Lands End and wear a microbead foob. It needs to be in a pocket or pinned/sewn in because they float. They make swim foobs that are meant for wearing in the pool, but probably expensive. I also made a foob out of net twisted and sewed, but it's hard to get the right size.

  • beesy_the_other_one
    beesy_the_other_one Member Posts: 170
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    redninrah, I second the Land's End mastectomy suits! I've been wearing them for years because of a previous surgery and now after the BMX, I wear prosthetics on both sides. I wear silicone prosthetics that are made for swimming--they stay put in the swimsuit pockets and insurance paid for them (you need an Rx from your surgeon, but they do this all the time).

  • redninrah
    redninrah Member Posts: 366
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    Thank you I will look into this.

    I bought a one piece and put a microbeaded prosthesis and the pocket in bathing suit was so big that when they got wet the prosthesis dropped to bottom of pocket and making my chest look horrible.

    I also have bought bathing suits that the prosthesis rides high so that you can see the pocket lining sticking out of neck.

  • redninrah
    redninrah Member Posts: 366
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    I just looked at landsend and they only have 4 types.

  • MT1
    MT1 Member Posts: 223
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    !!!

    Have you seen this?

    This moves us steps closer to having insurance companies accept flat as a valid reconstructive option, with specified results and the ability to properly bill flat revision surgeries!

    This may also end ‘flat denial’!

    It’s a good day!


    image

  • wren44
    wren44 Member Posts: 7,907
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    Great news!! I hope all the women whose surgeons ignored what they wanted will be able to achieve flat.

  • kathindc
    kathindc Member Posts: 1,667
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    👍🏻👍🏻

  • aussie-cat
    aussie-cat Member Posts: 5,502
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    I agree that's great!

  • BlueGirlRedState
    BlueGirlRedState Member Posts: 900
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    MT1 - I did not know there was such as thing as flat chest surgery. I thought it was just not getting reconstruction. My bilateral with no reconstruction was almost 4 years ago. So is it a different surgeon than the one doing the bi-lateral?

  • wren44
    wren44 Member Posts: 7,907
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    I think it's in response to the women who asked for flat but their surgeons left all kinds of stuff so they could put in implants when they changed their minds. They're so sure we won't feel like real women without boobs. So condescending.

  • cyathea
    cyathea Member Posts: 337
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    I agree that this is progress by the NCI. However, I think they should update their description to include the fact that a flat reconstruction can include nipple grafts. (I love the fact that I have a flat chest and that it is not “blank”.) No one offered this to me as an option. I had to ask for it. I’m so glad I did and that my surgeon was willing to find a PS who could and would do the nipple grafts

  • MT1
    MT1 Member Posts: 223
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    Nine years ago, when I went flat, there was no name for 'flat closure'. It was called, 'no reconstruction', which places a value or bias toward breast mound reconstruction. Without a name, it is hard to ask for specific results. With no definition, it's hard to be clear that you do not want skin sparing mastectomy. Since starting this post years ago, I have been posing for articles in major magazines, as well as participating in television and video content, geared toward providing visibility for the flat and breastless option. Many others have joined in this fight for awareness. The placement of this definition in the NCI dictionary of terms is a boon. It will end what we call 'flat denial', where doctors, through paternalism or lack of skill, leave lumps and bumps, sometimes stating they did it 'just in case we change our minds'. Now, we can demand that skill sets be improved, make sure that insurance companies reimburse flat surgeries at a similar rate to breast mound surgeries. And we can stand proud in our choice, knowing that we are 'whole' and happy in bodies that reflect our choice.


    Please check out Flat Closure NOW, a nonprofit I helped found.

  • BlueGirlRedState
    BlueGirlRedState Member Posts: 900
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    MT1 - you are right on! Language/words make all the difference. When I opted for a bi-lateral with no reconstruction, the surgeon made it clear that there was no medical reason for doing a bi-lateral when Dx only identifies one breast, but that many women are starting to do this. Neither she nor the surgeons I consulted (plastic, DIEP) called it "flat closure", again reflecting the bias towards having breasts. Then again, one woman I talked to who wanted to know more about DIY cold capping felt very strongly about having reconstruction. When I mentioned that I would be 60 at the time, and did not feel a need, sne replied that she would be 65, and definitely wanted "breasts".

  • MT1
    MT1 Member Posts: 223
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    Wanting breast mounds is perfectly ok. Getting ALL the information you need to make that decision is paramount. Doctors need to be very clear, moving muscle compromises the integrity of your body. Implants can cause certain cancers, and may flair autoimmune diseases. Breast mound surgeries often take -several additional surgeries- to “tweak and perfect”. Skin sparing mastectomy is not aesthetic flat closure.

    I see doctors downplay the full picture, leave out options based on their bias toward the outcome they prefer. Often, the patient is rushed into the experience too, it is hard to make these decisions when you know there is cancer and that is the true issue at hand. But if you only have a portion of the information you need, you aren’t equipt to make an well informed decision about the necessary changes to your bod. It doesn’t help that there is a lobbying effort to get women to choose breast mound surgery and that doctors reinforce these bias when reading slanted studies.

  • BlueGirlRedState
    BlueGirlRedState Member Posts: 900
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    I did not do reconstruction, but explored both plastic and DIEP. One thing I asked for, but it did not seem to be available, was a virtual tour of myself with what the options might look like. It was not clear if it did not exist or was just not available near where I live. I think a friend was able to get a virtual look at how breast reduction would look. Virtual imagery has come a long ways and it seems like there would be something out there to help with making decions. Also need to get very clear discussion with surgeons on risks, pos, cons, especially as they apply to you individually.

  • MydogandIhadcancer
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    Eight years after you started this post, thank you.

    Now flat for 9 months. Mostly it doesn’t bother me but sometimes I do notice someone looking at me with a certain look...

    Flat Fest should be a thing

  • kathindc
    kathindc Member Posts: 1,667
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    Mydog, in eight years that has happened a few times to me. I just start looking back at them and when they realize I’m looking at them they quickly divert their eyes. No words needed. And, I so love living flat

  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 4,833
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    I too love being flat. Sometimes I get stares, but I ignore them.

  • CCRAIG0167
    CCRAIG0167 Member Posts: 3
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    I am new to the flat-breasted club. Surgery was done on 06/29/2021and I had a double mastectomy and been called a "dude" twice, guess since i wear a baseball cap since I lost my hair and I lost 20lbs in 2weeks makes me look like a teenager boy. I do feel different since I don't have breast and when I look in the mirror I consider getting reconstruction but in reality I don't want to do another surgery, and its hard to get the insurance to pay for anything

    any suggestions is greatly appreciated

  • wren44
    wren44 Member Posts: 7,907
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    Welcome CCraig. Eventually you may want to get prostheses (called foobs here) and that's one choice. I suggest wearing a color a guy wouldn't wear or perhaps a scarf around your neck. Perhaps a more feminine baseball cap? I think right now you're very aware of how you look and that will wear off with time. I had one removed and would love to have the other off and never wear a bra again, but that's me. I'm guessing you're getting chemo that caused the 20lb loss. That's a lot in 2 weeks. If you sew or know someone who does, the website mastectomysolutions.org has instructions to make foobs. Another group makes "knitted knockers" and sends them to patients free of charge. I wish you well in your recovery.

  • aussie-cat
    aussie-cat Member Posts: 5,502
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    CCraig, I agree with everything Wren wrote. Other things that come to mind are wearing floral fabrics, jewellery and even lipstick if that's something that feels okay to you. Often after double mastectomies, a woman will wear soft breast forms with fibrefill or microbeads and then after 6-8 weeks, when they're healed enough they can get fitted for silicone breast forms if they want. I had my double mastectomies 3 years ago and most of the time I don't wear any forms but I wear pink and florals and jewellery. It's definitely a huge learning curve after surgery.

  • kathindc
    kathindc Member Posts: 1,667
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    CCraig, I’m nine years out from a BMX. I embrace being flat. I was mildlyself conscious for maybe a year but since then I don’t think a thing of it. I don’t miss wearing a bra. Early on, I caught a few people staring at me. The quick remedy was a boring stare back. They quickly adverted their stare.

  • wren44
    wren44 Member Posts: 7,907
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    I volunteered at a senior center and noticed a woman with sort of odd posture. It wasn't until we were in a lymphadema exercise class that I realize she had a BMX and was going flat. It's not as noticeable as you think at first. My guess is that you were called dude based on no hair.