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I look for other flat chested women. A rant.

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  • Laural
    Laural Member Posts: 212
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    MT1....You can use Facebook photos as well. Just right click on the photo you want and select the Copy URL option.

  • CLC
    CLC Member Posts: 615
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    Oooh, Laural, thanks for that info.  I didn't know that.  That is good to know!

    MT...I have been using Picassa, and it is quite easy...good luck!

  • crystalphm
    crystalphm Member Posts: 277
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    I am always interested in hearing plastic surgeon experiences. In my one case, the breast surgeon said he couldn't understand why women would want to reconstruct, because so much often goes wrong. He looked me in the eyes and said to me "You are so much more than your breasts".

    And I believed him!!!!

    He also felt a year is needed to be sure the cancer is gone, and also to be sure my head is in the right place. I still have 5 months for the year to be up, but I am just getting over pain from the mastectomy, i can't imagine starting the pain part all over again.

    I do notice the more that I talk about all of this here, the more I like myself.

  • coraleliz
    coraleliz Member Posts: 158
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    How to post a picture......maybe this thread will help   http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/93/topic/691885?page=1#idx_23

    I definitely don't feel any less attractive without breasts. I'm about 15 months out from my BMX & don't even rembember what my breasts use to look like.  I haven't recieved much in the way of negative comments & the few I have are from people I  don't care much about.

    I've never wanted a tattoo in my life but find myself wanting one. Something along the line of this one across my entire chest.  http://quigleyscabinet.blogspot.com/2009/04/mastectomy-tattoos.html

    I showed this to a couple of women I work with(in their 20's & with tattoos). They of course loved the idea & said if I ever went thru with getting tattooed, they'd love to come with meUndecided. I really hope these thoughts leave me. Maybe it's a SE of the Tamoxifen(Lol)Wink

    Compare this conversation to one I had yesterday with a couple of co-workers(40 somethings) complaining about how their implants have become hard & need replacing. OK, I didn't really contribute to this conversation. Neither did the two 20 somethings mentioned above. I watched them roll their eyes. I do think it's fair that if I freely talk & joke about being breastless, it's OK for them to talk their preceived need to have an augmentation repair job(not sure of the proper term).

    MT1- I never met with a plastic surgeon because I feared it would be like yours. I was fortunate my husband saw not reconstructing as a "no-brainer". Said something like "it would be trading one set of problems for another"

  • dusterella
    dusterella Member Posts: 5
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    It's definitely simpler & more authentic to be breastless! And I got to go shopping for new tops, which is always fun.  So far I am loving it, but I have my first public gathering where I will be seeing a lot of old friends and acquaintances who I haven't seen for a couple years...so we shall see how I feel after that!  Wish I could go to Flat Fest, but I just can't afford it - and it will probably be in the middle of my chemo treatments too Frown

    Oh, and PhotoBucket is a great online image site too! I have used that for years for posting images on forums.

  • thepinkbirdie
    thepinkbirdie Member Posts: 24
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    Had to jump in on this one...

    "What I want to know is, have any of you felt the need to say anything when people look at you? This is my struggle right now. I live in NYC, there are millions of people here. When I walk down the street people are constantly looking at me. Some rudley, some with simple curiosity. The problem for me is that there are so many of them. The cumulative effect for me is draining, frustrating, tiring."

    Not too long after my surgery, and while I was still bald from chemo... I went grocery shopping at Walmart with my bald head and one breast.  It was unnerving AND thrilling to push myself to do this. (But more unnerving than anything!)

    As I approached the check out lanes, I see this punk dude looking at me in disgust like I'm some sort of freak.  He's bald, by choice, with tattoos all over him and body piercings everywhere and yet he is looking at ME as if I'm a freak??

    I got so pissed off that I made direct and constant eye contact with him and stared him down as if I dared him to say anything.

    Shit on him.

    I saw this dress and wanted it badly, but the price was way too much.  So, I went back to the store with my fake flowers and filled them into the cup of the missing breast.  Had fun playing with it at least.  Sorry the picture is so big... I can't ever get these things right on here.

  • CLC
    CLC Member Posts: 615
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    Oh my gosh, Marie...I LOVE your flowers, your dress, your clear sense of fun, play and sheer artistry!  I could never carry off such a look, and I have never worn dresses, but you clearly do, with such WONDERFUL results!!!  Claire

  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 2,845
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    Marie, I love the flowers in the bra cup. Not a bad idea actually.

  • BonoboGirrl
    BonoboGirrl Member Posts: 104
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    Marie, absolutely stunning!!!!! I <3 YOUR SPUNK! You sure do know how to rock that dress. :)

  • BonoboGirrl
    BonoboGirrl Member Posts: 104
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    Crystal: I'm glad posting here has helped you feel better about yourself! That puts a really warm feeling in my heart, and so does the statement your surgeon made.  :)

    Coraleliz: I have actually seen that tattoo before, and I think it's gorgeous. I like the idea of a tattoo, at least theoretically, but for some reason I just can't ever seem to commit to a design. Perhaps one day. If you do decide to get one, will you share the design with us? Would love to see it. 

    Dusterella: Forgot about Photobucket! That is a great site for hosting pics for free. 

  • crystalphm
    crystalphm Member Posts: 277
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    I am in love with the photo!!!! I am glad you did not know how to make it small, it deserves to be *big*

    How awesome!!!!!!

    I did not think to do boudoir photos of myself before my double mastectomy, and I think i could really enjoy a photo of myself in a gorgeous dress with flowers where boobs were.

    I love it!!!!!

  • Flat_for_Life
    Flat_for_Life Member Posts: 11
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    Wow!  I have missed a lot of great discussion!!!!  I am about 3 weeks out...glad I can do more around the house.  My chest mainly hurts from being tight...skin is pulled to the max!  My scars are pulling apart a little (which I knew would happen with movement).  Wish the scar lines could have both been straight...the right side is completely straight...the left sort of goes north...then south a little.  So I have something like this symbol ( ^ ) in the center of left scar.  I swear I can feel cold liquid under my chest skin when I drink...anyone else????  Very strange!

    In response to the topic of scarves...I used them at the beach when I went out...wore a tank/then a button shirt (unbuttoned) with a matching scarf to fill in the front...worked like a charm! 

     Was surprised that I had some emotions to deal with when I started going out in public...was a little angry with myself for it considering I felt ok with surgery etc...  Guess it is a process...  :)

  • Laural
    Laural Member Posts: 212
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    Flat for life...I had that same sensation for the first few months. It felt like the liquid was going to just pour right out of the scar. Obviously some mixed up nerves in there somewhere Smile
  • Angela-R
    Angela-R Member Posts: 109
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    Flat-tastic idea.

    Australia may be too far away to join you in person, but I will go lopsided in Aus.

    3 years ago my bald head was my badge of honour, then it was my flat right side, now it is an amazing scar across my upper left chest. These are our war wounds; our symbols of fight and strength. I am very proud of mine.

    Best wishes to all.

  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 2,845
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    Crystal, your surgeon sounds like good people. 

    I can see the advantage of immediate reconstruction, but I am grateful to have had the time to think it over. I am also thankful that my surgeon did not push one way or the other. 

  • cwestbro
    cwestbro Member Posts: 5
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    Yay, I'm not alone!!!  Everywhere I look, everywhere I go where there is breast cancer survivors, I'm the only one without breast!!  So glad to have found this group!!!!!Smile
  • MT1
    MT1 Member Posts: 223
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    Untitled

    Sort of a bad hair day, though I hate to say that because any hair is a good hair day. I love this Emily t-shirt, sleevless with Beware across the front. I used to wear this with my dd sized breasts. I am always amazed that my clothing would fit around my larger body. I am playing with androgyny, keeping my hair short. With the lack of hormones in my body, I feel vague of gender too.  

    I put more current day photos of myself in this folder: http://www.flickr.com/photos/flagstuff/sets/72157630404147086/

    P.S. I don't know how I finally got a photo up. It appeared and luckily, I didn't delete it!  

  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 2,845
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    Cwest, welcome to the boobless and semi-boobless group ;)



    MT, cool shirt!

  • BonoboGirrl
    BonoboGirrl Member Posts: 104
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    Love the photo, MT1! You're so toned and tiny! :) The shirt looks fab, and so do you. Bravo!

  • alexandria58
    alexandria58 Member Posts: 202
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    Looking good MT. 

  • BonoboGirrl
    BonoboGirrl Member Posts: 104
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    Welcome, Cwest. Glad you found us. :)

  • MT1
    MT1 Member Posts: 223
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    Crystal PM, You said, "I do notice the more that I talk about all of this here, the more I like myself."

    Me too. I feel that way too. I love this group. Thanks for hopping on the rant! 

    More than two months ago I walked into a local beauty salon and  spoke with the owner. I told him I was in recovery from cancer treatments and that my hair was growing back. I told him I wanted a haircut that worked with my hair, I don't want to use products. What he did has to be what my hair does, and better, if we find the right cut. I told him I wanted the cutest boy haircut he could do and still be cute. So he cut it. I love this cut. This is a magic hair cut, it does different things just by playing around with it. I have been experimenting with rinsing but not washing my hair. It is the best product out there! 

    I love it. It is the most expensive haircut I have ever had! I spoil myself with this. But the cut changes weekly, pxie soft curl at the forehead, manly sweep to the side. I haven't cut in more than 2.5 months! Each time I say, you need a trim, it morphs in front of my eyes and I keep wanting to see it grow. At the same time, I want to do that again! It becomes interesting again. I have never been excited about this sort of thing before.

    What sort of exercise do you gals do? I think I need to stretch. I keep thinking I should take a dance class in the city. But with what company?

  • outfield
    outfield Member Posts: 235
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    Mellie, I do everything!  I have hit this point in my life where parts of me are just plain wearing out for sports.  I needed to think about that even before breast cancer.  I used to play all sorts of things all year round, now I'm just playing softball but trying to stay fit and trying to find a place for a 40 something to play basketball or soccer.  I've learned to love yoga, once I realized it wasn't competetive. I swim and aquajog.  I walk backwards uphill on a treadmill.  I hike (I live in a great place for that).  I jog a little in my new minimalist shoes that make it easier on my creaky knees by keeping me off my heels.  

    I was really sick during chemo, and all I could do was walk.  Then it was like opening a menu at a great restaurant when I started feeling well enough to do things again  - there is just so much I can do, even with my bad knees and my tight armpit. 

  • CLC
    CLC Member Posts: 615
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    MT...great pic! 

    I do a lot of different exercise, that I rotate through over time.  For a long time, swimming was it.  I was very overweight and it was the best out there for me.  Then came the rowing machine.  For a while, I was doing a spin class.  Through all I was walking.  Then I discovered running.  That's where I am now...and for as long as my body will let me, running will probably remain a staple of my exercise regimen.  I also use the bikes, arc trainers and elipticals at the gym.  Stretching is essential.  This summer, I am dabbling with some ballet and lyrical classes meant just for uncoordinated nondancing adults like me, taught by my children's dance teacher.  I am looking forward to it...:)

  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 2,845
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    Mel, I also sprung for a good cut and am happy I did.



    I am just now gearing up the exercise. I joined a small gym near my house and I have set a walking schedule for myself.



    So, every other day I simply walk, aiming for a total of two hours (we have dogs, so dog walking takes care of some of it). The other days I go to the gym, where I walk on the treadmill 2 times 20-25 minutes, with a session of light weights in between, using the various machines. Add in the dog walks and I easily make the two hours of exercise on those days too.



    In addition, I have a set of stretches, based on the ones the PT gave me and stuff I found in LE pamphlets, and I try to do the set 2 times a day (sometimes more). I am finding that it is really important to stretch across the chest and move the shoulders through the various positions each day.

  • sacphotomom
    sacphotomom Member Posts: 28
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    WOW I"m glad I found you gals, I too go without, so much more comfortable,  Prothesis make my LE act up..so I go with out 99 % of the time. Have a great day!

    Denise

  • crystalphm
    crystalphm Member Posts: 277
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    sacphotomom...I am glad you found us too! Same here with the prosthesis, it makes me hurt and acts up the LE.

    Melly, Yoga for me...and it is doing fantastic things to my body.

     And Yes! to the professional hair cut! Me too! I love it, I love going back, I love my new flapper sort of look...

    It is the best money spent, wash in the shower and no products and I love it.

  • alexandria58
    alexandria58 Member Posts: 202
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    My physical therapist wanted me to wear a sports type tight fitting bra - thought it would help my discomfort.  I couldn't stand it.  I tried wearing it out and wound up in a ladies room at Starbucks, ripping it off.

    I do biking - either stationary or outside, although not in this heat - half an hour to an hour a day.  Also some old ballet stretches.

  • MT1
    MT1 Member Posts: 223
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    This week my man started to joke with me in such a healing way! He looked at me and said, "What's up, my titless wonder?" I love him for this! So good to be able to laugh.

    Sacphotomom, welcome.

    Cwest, glad you have found this thread too.

  • Starak
    Starak Member Posts: 311
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    Hi All, I love this thread.   I constantly am looking for women who are totally flat.  Think I have seen one in over 2 years and have never knowingly run across a uni.

    As many here know, I was flat and fabulous all the time for the first 20 months of this journey.  After corrective surgery for the removal of the center dog ears, I do wear prosthetics now and most days I feel better with them on than off.  On most days, my chest seems to do better with the feedback from the prosthetics than without though there are a few days I have to rip them off.  I live in a small neighborhood where people walk alot.  We all sort of know each other on sight even if we have never shared more than a friendly wave in passing.  I power walk very early in the morning or late in the evening to escape the heat of the day.   I often wonder what the neighbors think as sometimes I wear prosthetics on my walks but far more often go totally flat with not the slightest effort whatsoever to camouflage it.  I have a Gazelle (sort of like cross country skiing) that I use indoors. 

    While I do not go topless, I do find I am far more likely to push the boundaries because after all what is there to see? 

    I really wish I could join the meet up but I am way out here in the middle of fly over country and on a number of levels such a trip is out of the question.

    Interesting that so many of us have this yearning to meet others like ourselves.

    Barbara