I look for other flat chested women. A rant.
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Outfield, if you ask me, that is just wrong! Lol.
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Outfield, LOL.
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Nagem, good point. Also good point about expensive haircuts. I used to hate going to the hair dresser because it hurt, took a long time, cost money and my hair always looked the same anyway (very long hair, no bangs or coloring). So back then I used to chop random bits off myself and only had it cut by a prof every 4 years or so.
Now I go to the fancy hair dresser every 2-3 months and with short hair, it really does make a difference.
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Outfield, boy do I understand about the "stealing my haircut"!!! My MOTHER has a tendency to do this to me.... geez, I DON'T want to look like my mother, I already look like her enough as it is, and I don't want to look 20 years older than I am!!!! (even if I FEEL 50 years older ....LOL).
It took quite a while for my hair to come back, much longer than the "median" length of time, and I initially had bald spots. Well, fast-forward another year and a half, it came in completely unruly, but I am grateful to have it. It was a bit unruly BEFORE chemo, but much worse since then. I wish I could be more helpful to you than offering platitudes like "just be patient" because I am not a very patient person myself - I want what I want, when I want it, which is usually YESTERDAY!!0 -
Linda KR - that sounds like something I would do! My boss thought nothing of calling employees when they were off sick or on holidays. And now I too feel like an idiot for allowing it, and for allowing her to bully me into showing other people how to do my job, making me disposable. I just sent my boss a reply regardng her 'Offer' to terminate, via email. Now I will be filled with anxiety until I get a reply. I am afraid of what type of reply I will get and also afraid that she will just ignore my reply and let the time of her Offer run out. Then my only option will be to pay a lawyer to sue her, and that will take more toll on my emotional and physical well being than it will possibly be worth. Sigh.
The conversations about hair are so much more fun than thinking about my situation. Perhaps I will go take a shower and wash my hair - maybe that will perk me up! Thanks for keeping this thread a place of refuge where we learn to laugh together and laugh at ourselves.
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Actually it's my daughter that stole my new haircut - oh, well, does that make me look 20 years younger? People have often thought we are sisters anyway, great for me, not sure how she feels about it, because she definitely does not look my age.
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Yikes, Djustme, please use the lawyer if you can. Bad crazy people do bad crazy things. You may not hav seen the worst of it yet. I work for a huge organization where there's no one bad or one good person, just too many doing off in all their own direftions. It's very hierarhichal, but when someone starts getting really abusively rogue, what works is people getting legal representation. That's the ONLY thing that works. Otherwise, the screwing continues.
Edidied to add - I'm feverish, so typos galore.
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I love it OUTFIELD! "I'd like to be both happier AND hairier. I can't imagine there's any reason they're mutually exclusive." I can't imagine a reason either. . . . It is SOOOO cold here . . . a hat is a necessity outside - just came in from a 3 mile walk, and ALL of me is cold. I had a hat AND a scarf around my neck/face. BBBRRR.
I agree with OUTFIELD, DJUSTME . . if you want a favorable result, at least from my perspective, see a lawyer.
Long ago, when I had my hair in the longest style (or no style) ever for me, I french braided it, looked in the mirror and saw my GRANDMOTHER - - well, that hair length/style did NOT last long. . . My mother has had the same style for 50 years, and I certainly do NOT want her style. When I was completely bald, and even somewhat now (3 & 3/4 months later) I look in the mirror and see my brother. Truly, with a flat chest and this hair, without makeup or girl clothes, even I couldn't tell me from a male. I need to embrace the feminine parts of me, and dwell on them. . . . I want to feel like a girl, and NOT look like my mother. (tee hee
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Djustme,
Ditto what others have said. Use a lawyer. Hopefully not too much of an emotional tol, but it sounds like someone has to stop the crazy person!
FernMF - Freezing here in Mass as well. So very difficult to get warm even with all the right clothing!
Flatchested and out there!! I went back to zumba a while back but have been increasingly frustrated with my foob and bra riding up while dancing. Nothing to hold it down and in place so to speak. So last night I went foobless and braless. So much more comfortable!! While there were "good for you " comments, always the question about reconstruction, even in a group of women. Ahh well. It is now my new zumba look.
Wish everyone a warm!!!! day!
Be well
Nel
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This woman and her blog were a great inspiration to me as I went through treatment and she still updates it now and again. This last post talks about Normalization.
http://nofnpinkribbons.blogspot.com/2013/01/happy-new-year-looking-ahead-looking.html
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Great read.
She was diagnosed a little after me. I wish I'd had something like this to read rather than all the mainstream publications. I never heard myself or my concerns in them.
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I am so very glad that I started this thread and that you all relate and come here! Thank you.
I know that my fixation on my hair is small compared to other topics that we/I deal with but it really helps to hear what you have to say and how you view your own struggles.
Questions and thoughts on Biotin:
For those of you who use it, can you tell me what dosage you use?
I read on the NIH site that Biotin should be taken with Zinc, that the two help each other do there thing in the body.
My doctor also suggested taking Folic Acid, a B vitamin, for my hair, should any of you want to know.
I also started taking Evening Primrose oil for hotflashes, and I think it is working for me. I read through what nih says and according to them Evening Primrose Oil is ineffective for this purpose. Do any of you take herbal suppliments to help with medically induced menopause? I am hesitant because many herbal suppliments use plant estrogens and my cancer was estrogen positive by 100%.
Djustme-I am so sorry that you are having troubles with your employer. All while your body is healing, your hormones, or lack thereof are affecting you, your energy is not what it should be. I feel for you.
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Mel, so far I have found that every herbal supplement advertised as helping with menopause is high in phytoestrogens. Since my cancer was also strongly ER+, it strikes me as a bad idea to take them, although nobody seems to know whether they are harmful.
My idea is that if they help with menopause, then one has to assume that they act like natural estrogen in the body, and I am not comfortble with that idea. Instead I am working on making the crone thing work for me
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Mel,
I have been cautioned regarding folic acid although beneficial in preventing some health conditions, it may increase risk of tumor growth. I would research this carefully before taking supplements.0 -
I had to weigh in on the supplements issue. I have tried lots of them, tried to prevent CIPN by using the various supplements thought to help (they didn't - I have horrible neuropathy), more to help the CIPN (vitamin B6, B12 - they didn't), calcium, vitamin D, black cohosh, other herbal stuff for hot flashes (this was before chemo - I haven't used used these since BC because of the plant estrogen concern), I drink green tea, use whole food soy in moderation, etc etc etc. I finally got tired of taking a handful of tablets in the morning, so quit taking all of them. Then got tired of all the SEs from my prescription meds, so quit taking all of them also. I have felt SO MUCH BETTER without all the pills. I have done a lot of reading and research for each and every supplement and medication I have taken to make sure no interactions or contraindications for them. I finally decided there was no scientific evidence that said these were truly helpful (lots of research, none of it absolutely confirming any benefit) and there was no evidence from my own personal experience that made me believe they were helping. So I am ditching all of them - at least until next week when my new MO has a new treatment plan for me. I suspect I won't like it, that it will make me feel bad again, but I don't have any good choices right now - fight cancer with drugs that make me sick, or don't use drugs and let the cancer take its slow time to kill me, with a few good months or a year, followed by not so good life until the end. Still waiting waiting waiting for results - meet with MO on Wednesday next week.
Until then, I think I will peruse my wardrobe and see what I need to change for the spring (yes, I am hoping this winter weather will soon let up!).
BTW, of all the supplements, I think the biotin is possibly one that is effective for hair and nails - there have been LOTS of ladies on various discussion threads that have used it and have had good results. I don't know the dose.
And Mel, thanks for starting this thread!!!! Some of the links and comments have been so wonderful and reaffirming. On days when I have a little energy, I feel like we need to get this information into the waiting rooms along with all the little pamphlets on prostheses, camis, wigs, plastic surgery, etc. On most days with low energy, I still think this, but just can't move on it.0 -
I ran across a blog on Breast Reconstruction Awareness. Even though it was for an event last September, I still decided to post the one lonely comment. It is a moderated blog and they still let the comment go through. I know it is not perfect but because it is a blog by plastic surgeons, I am hopeful it will give them something else to think about and consider.
http://breast-cancer-reconstruction.blogspot.com/2012/09/bra-day-sa-join-us.html
Barbara
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I am now an official member of the fabulous flatties.
Home from surgery. I had the surgery at noon on Wednesday and was discharged at 2pm on Thursday. It was so nice to be coming home. The lymph node biopsy was negative. Yes!! I am lucky to have my hubby. He stayed with me in the room all night in case I needed anything, he grounded me from my phone and iPad so I would sleep. I am glad he did. I would have been on it too much.
I have ace bandages and gauze around my chest. The drains are doing well, is it true to wear the ace bandage as tight as you can stand it? Also, my chest looks con-caved, will it eventually be flat across?
My first dressing change was done by a friend who is a nurse, she brought us supper last night and then helped me. She said it all looked good. To rest, only get up for meds and bathroom, and take my meds onetime.
I am not in any pain, I do have discomfort but it is not too bad. The ace bandage is really tight. I am napping in the recliner.0 -
Kassy, welcome and great to hear about the clean nodes. Way to go! I don't know about the ace bandage, because I did not have one. I had tape (which was very tight), and my doctor changed all dressings, I had nothing to do with that. I also stayed in the hospital until the drains were gone, so 4 days or so.
A friend did warn me to take it WAY easy for quite a while. I was wiped for about two weeks. I did not feel terrible, nor did I have any bad pain (but a lot of itching, tightness and discomfort) but I was TIRED. So get your rest. The discomfort does get annoying, because it takes quite a while to fade. It kind of comes and goes for a long time. When it really bugged me, I found that a simple anti-inflammatory of some kind helped.
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Starak, very nice comment to those plastic surgeons. I tweeted it
and also left one of my own, although it hasn't posted yet.0 -
Starak, I commend you on an extremely well written comment. Just finished reading it and for the second time in seven months was proud to be flat.
Kassylou, I had a surgical vest on with dressings from day of surgery, a Friday, to the following Tuesday when the drains were taken out. My surgeon told me to wear a tight sports bra and padding to cut down on fluid building up for the two weeks until my next visit. I had no fluid build up. On the cancer side, I am a bit concaved but it was explained to me that it is due to how the breast tissue was attached at that site.
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I'm with Momine on the supplements.
Linda n3 are taking AI's?
Well written Starak!
The patient navigater at my cancer center is a big proponent of recon (she was diagnosed at 23, right after she got married with BC, and had recon), but when I told her that I was going for the prophylactic MX this year with NO recon, she was shocked, and couldn't even wrap her head around it. Needless to say I was a little surprised that she didn't really consider no recon and option - I think I need to get her on this forum, it will make her better at her job too.
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Linda, yeah! Send her over, we will work missy over good
I will be nice, I promise. But she really ought to widen her horizon a tad, I agree.0 -
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MT - folic acid is powerful stuff. It's basically the methyl group involved in methylation of genes, which is how genes get turned on/off. That field is "epigenetics." A while ago, everybody was just wild about folic acid becuase it does reduce the risk of neural tube defects in pregnant women. More recent studies have brought up concerns about what we might be doing when those levels are pushed high, including possible increase in risk of colon cancer.
I don't take anything for my hot flashes (was also all ER+). As long as I don't end up lying in a cooling sweat at night in the winter, I am thankful for them. Did you know that having them correllates with a better prognosis? I guess that makes sense. I did try acupuncture, which is supposed to help with them. I wasn't myself so concerned about them and had gone to see the acupuncturist for other reasons, but she really keyed on the hot flashes. Didn't help.
Kassylou, I am also a little asymmetrical because of some chest wall taken on my invasive cancer side, but I'm not concave on either side. From what's I've seen posted, it sounds like there's a lot of variation that depends on your muscle mass, overall build and surgery.
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CC, I suggest looking for a silk cammie, mapybe with lace.
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LindaKR, I am not currently on AIs. I asked about getting on something now, but MO explained that it will make a difference if I am still stage IIIc or IV. If IIIc, she wants to do chemo, and that only works on rapidly dividing cells, and the antihormonals put the cells into sleep mode, so the chemo would not work as well. I figure another week is probably not going to make all that much difference at this point. I had a horrible time with tamoxifen and quit taking it - previous MO and I just couldn't come to any agreement on treatment plan that would not hurt me more than she already had. I am trying very hard to be open minded with the new MO - she seems to be pretty much a straight-shooter, not sugarcoating things and making promises that "it isn't that bad" but rather "it's not fun, but it works."
The NP that works with my BS is also a proponent of recon - she is older, but has really perky boobs that she says don't feel like normal ones, but she is happy with her looks. Told me she the only thing she would have changed would have been to forgo the nipple recon.
I don't know if I posted on this thread a couple weeks ago when I had my axillary biopsy, but the young NP who was doing the scheduling told me to wear a supportive sports bra for swelling of the breast, so I reminded her that I didn't have any, so that was a bit moot. She then proceeded to schedule me for a followup mammogram, routine after breast biopsy to locate clips, but not necessary for axillary mass after BMX. I didn't realize she had scheduled me until I got home, so called her up and used my most stern teacher voice and proceeded to inform her of the fact that I didn't have breasts or had she forgotten that in the few minutes between the bra comment and scheduling the mammogram, or did she not even use her brain to think about it???? It took about 5-10 minutes, she apologized. Her supervisor called me back about an hour later, and we had a nice discussion of training, continuing education, case discussions in staff meetings, etc. I think the new np learned something, and from her response am sure she really took it to heart. I know we learn more from our mistakes than from our successes, but only if we KNOW we made a mistake, so I felt I needed to bring it to her attention.
Off to get some much needed beauty rest. Sleep well my friends.0 -
Linda,
Great job speaking up to NP. You are correct that is how we all learn.
Hot flashes - just take one piece of clothing of at a time during the night. Even her in New England right now with temps in single digits, heat in my room to 58 degrees - still having them!!!
Be well
Happy Saturday
Nel
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Starak: great comment on the plastic surgery site.
Kassy: welcome.
Linda: every year when I go for my physical, the receptionists tells me it's time to schedule my yearly mammo. Last year, I just opened my shirt, and she said, never mind.
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Hi Everyone,
I haven't posted for awhile, welcome to all the new girls.. I am still sporting the flat look. I have no issues at all. However, comments from friends and even my Mother-in-law.. Everyone one keeps saying after Chemo you should really think about Reconstruction.. If I had wanted reconstruction I would have kept my original plan and had TE's at the time of my BMX!!
I have been wearing sports bras and tank tops under my clothes it works fine but I have some tighter fitting tops and I'm not quite if I should think about getting something to give me a little something on top.. Any suggestions?
Also is anyone else going through Chemo right now.. I started January 10th my next one is Thursday 31st.. First one not so bad, just a bad headache that started on day 4 and lasted for 4 days. They are thinking it was the Nuelasta injection.
Have a great weekend everyone,
Carla
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