I look for other flat chested women. A rant.
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I know what you mean about scheduling the mammo on nothing. It took about 3 years after a complete hysterectomy to make the computer stop recommending a PAP.
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Hi, Carlads! I am also going thru chemo (TC); my first treatment was January 15. There is an active discussion topic called "January 2013 chemo group" for anyone who started chemo on or about this month. It's a really good source of info and support from people going thru the same things you're going thru. Please feel free to join us.
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I finished TC 10/2/2012... very few SEs. I found the chemo "topic" from last summer. Found it helpful because all of us were doing the same thing. Good luck ladies.
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Hi Zippy,
I have posted a couple of times on that thread. I started my T/C on January 10 next one this coming Thursday.
It is a good thread so many ladies I can't keep up with all the post.. I will check it out again.
Fern, Congrats on being done!! I should be done the middle of March...
Have a great Sunday,
Carla
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Carla - I had a Neulasta injection the day after chemo and the pharmacist recommended I take Claritan to offset the side effects from Neulasta. I took Claritan the day on my injection and for five days after and sailed through Neulasta without side effects.
Ask you doc if you can try Claritan - it could be that simple
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Tig Notaro is a psychopath. Do not trust her or her stories.
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Ladies,
I have a couple of post surgical questions for you. I had my bmx on Wednesday 1/23.
i am surprised at how comfy I feel with the flat chest. I have not been teary or felt like I have lost something. Did any of you feel this way?
I am healing and know it will take awhile for the area to heal and become less indented. I am hoping to have a flat scar. Have any of you had surgery on the scar area to make it even and smooth?
When did your doctor take the staples out? Mine is waiting to do it the same time as the tubes. I am concerned about my skin healing over the staples but the nurse said they have never had that happen. I had surgery on my elbow, with stitches removed at 2weeks-the skin grew over the staples. I fainted when they w ere removing them. It has me nervous.
Thanks for reading, I am just chilling out, taking my meds, and sleeping. Not much else to do while I heal.
KAS0 -
Kassy, glad to hear that you are healing well and in good shape mentally. I expected to be all freaked out by the flat chest, and then I just wasn't. For me, I think it is that it simply reminds me of how I felt and looked as a kid. Since I developed late and not very much (my boobs did not grow past the budding stage till I was in my 20s), I guess being flat feels familiar rather than foreign.
I had stitches, not staples, and they took them out about 10 days after surgery, I think. The drains came out after 5 days, before I left the hospital. Here they do not keep the drains in such a long time, and they would not dream of sending you home with drains in. My doc swore that I wouldn't feel either being removed, and he was right. He is very careful with stuff like that. The only problem I had was that a tiny piece of one stitch got stuck and hurt for a while until it worked itself out.
My scar is not super-pretty, but I think that is me more than the doc. Other scars I have also stay red seemingly forever. It is, however, flat and neat. I know some others here have had scar revision.
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I think it is great that u feel good. Welcome to the flat club. As for treating scars, you probally don't need to be worried about that right now. Best thing is to have good communication with ur plastic surgeon if u have one. If u don't have one, I am sure ur breast surgeon can referr you
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Outfield, I stopped taking folic acid on your advice. Thank you.
I like the idea of embracing cronehood, perhaps menopause, like so many other things is really a state of mind.
My husband and I have been doing great work in our relationship, it feels as though we are on the journey of settling into life post cancer, being flat, moving on. It feels good. Needed. It was shaky for so long, it became tiring to say the least.
This weekend I became weepy on Sunday, just a little emotional. I have been working out consistently and my muscle definition is improving. This is very exciting to me. So I was in the bathroom looking at my body, admiring my muscles, when I thought, "if you had breasts, you would look so hot".
Hm.
So in my emotional state, I left the bathroom. My husband caught a look at me and asked what was wrong. I told him what I had caught myself saying, my emotions escalating, tears falling. He gently looked at me and reminded me that I would not be exercising were it not for my diagnosis and that my large breasts held me back from feeling comfortable in my body and with rigorous activity. Just what I needed to hear.
I will remove that statement from my mind, no need to set myself up like that. My body is beautiful, hot, strong. And so am I.0 -
Embracing cronehood came from a friend years ago, when it was still hypothetical. But I think it is a sound idea. I have always thought that it is rather pointless to bemoan one's age and wish for another.
When you are a teen, you really should neck in backseats, do stupid stuff, yell at your mom etc and it is fine, even if it a PITA to your parents.
Each age has its good and bad. Sometimes we get much, much too focused on the bad and forget about the good. Besides, good or bad, it is still an adventure to be enjoyed.
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Kassy...I had my drains for about 10 days. It depends on the amount of drainage you have. When it is time for the staples to come out, here is what I did.
Get some Emla cream from the pharmacy. About 2 hours before your appointment, apply liberly along the incision line. Cover with plastic food wrap and tape edges. That will numb the skin and you won't feel a thing...even with the stubborn staples. It is a trick I learned when my daughter was having so many surgeries and biopsies.
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MT1,
What a great response from your husband. I do that to myself too sometimes when I get out of the shower- visualize breasts and tell myself how I would really look great if I had them. Then, I look at pictures of myself when I did have them, and the pictures don't look like me. My shape is all wrong. My shape was fine then, but now I am different and it is the old shape that strikes me as incongruent, not my new one.
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Hi Kassylou.
I felt just as you describe. I actually was pleasantly surprised when I first saw my flat chest. I thought it made me look petite. I honestly never cried about the loss of my breasts, although (especially after a lumpectomy and radiation on one side three years earlier) I was keenly aware of how much I had loved them when I had them.
My DH saw me flat even before I saw myself because he was standing in the room shortly after surgery when the resident unexpectly removed the gauze covering my chest to take a look. I was a little freaked out when I realized he'd seen me, but he too was pleasantly surprised by the appearance of my chest and very happy I chose not to have reconstruction.
There's such a range of emotions that we feel about this surgery. My mother-in-law had a mastectomy at 31, then a second one at 46, and in later years went totally flat, so I was very used to the concept, as were my DH and two sons. I'm sure this helped me as I'd seen firsthand that life could be wonderful without breasts. I'd also seen my widowed m-i-l meet and marry a wonderful man who didn't care about her breast-free state.
The one thing that did worry me was what effect the loss of nipples would have on my sex life. The weird effect that I discovered (and it has still persisted over six years since my mastectomy) is that when I touch the nipple protrusion on a breast form I become aroused. I even become aroused when I know my DH is touching it, even though I can't really feel it (I do feel a little pressure). So, even that loss didn't turn out to be as great as I'd imagined.
Regarding your incision, I didn't have staples, only internal stitches. My actual incisions were simply covered with steri-strips, which I allowed to fall off naturally (per my surgeon's instructions). It took about a month for them to come off, by which time my incision was healed. If you think your skin is beginning to grow around the staples, perhaps that would be the time to let the doctor know. I did have staples during an earlier hysterectomy and had no problem with them.
Barbara
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Kassylou: my scars post-surgery were puffy and swollen at their ends and beginnings (under the arms and in the middle) once the swelling goes down and there is no great sensation around the area (~ 2 months or so) I highly recommend massage to reduce scar tissue . . . I have gone 4 times to my masseuse (at a physical therapy center) and had this type massage . . . the first two were predominantly scar tissue - all that follow are a bit of scar tissue "check up" and mostly other massage that I require for other problems in my neck and shoulder. I CANNOT SAY ENOUGH HOW HELPFUL THIS MASSAGE OF THE SCAR TISSUE WAS. My scars are laying down nicely, not puffy, or anything. Very pleased with the result.
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Thanks Ladies!! I appreciate our honesty and suggestions!!
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I had steri-strips over dissolving stitches - no problem with either. I think the steri-strips remained for ~ 2 + weeks for me . . I kind of coaxed them off. My drains were removed on a thursday (surgery was on a monday) . . . so not too long. One was removed without a hitch - the other was fairly significantly painful. Glad that one wasn't in for 10+ days . . . that would have really hurt!
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Erica, Just goes to show that sex is mostly in your head. lol
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i had original cancer dx march 2005 with lumpectomy and sentinal nodes then rads left breast. found that tumor had come back dec 2012. i had a bilateral mastectomy on jan 17, 2013. i still have one drain (one became dislodged so my surgeon said i could pull it) and sutures. i want to go without prosthesis and plan no recon surgery. i am still exploring ideas on clothing and such to wear boobless. thanks for this discussion thread! i was really hard to find info on this.
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i was taking folic acid before my tumor returned. not now. my son has done a lot of research and questions safety of folic acid as well as other antioxidents. i think the jury is still out on how supplements effect malignant cells.
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l suggest taking some pain meds about 30-45 min before your appointment to have the drains or staples out. def helps!
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Welcome Carolyn, good to have you, although the reason is a bitch. Hope your recovery is progressing as it should.
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Carolyn, Somewhere on here (perhaps someone knows where) a lady put pictures of her wearing the same outfits flat and with foobs. There's not a lot of difference. I think most clothes will work. The exception would be the really deep V-necks that have been so popular.
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Wren, I sort of agree. It probably depends quite a bit on build and style too. I have tried some things that I tought would definitely work, only to find that they didn't and vice-versa.
In a way I think it is a little bit like the advice for heavy women. It is often said that if you are heavier, it is better to wear fitted stuff that fits well than to try to disguise the bulk with baggy clothes. In the beginning I thought that a lot of drapey stuff and extra fabric would be the way to go, but when I have tried it, it just seems to emphasize that there is nothing behind the fabric. Oddly, on me at least, more closely fitted stuff often works better.
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I agree that at this point I tend to like the more fitted look, but that's individual.
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I have made a cami and micro bead foobs as directed on http://mastectomysolutions.com/ to some degree of success. I had spent a lot of $$ on silicon foobs, aneoma camisoles and t-shirts, and a bra made for prosthesis and other things to try and get a good fit/feel and level of comfort. I am MOST comfortable without foobs . . . but some of my clothing lends itself to needing them and I LIKE THOSE TOPS/BLOUSES - so am now, finally, at a good place with my home-made cami and micro bead foobs. I do NOT wear them all the time/every day. I agree with others than some blouses/tops that "seem" to make sense just don't, once tried-on. I do not want to be all tight-t-shirts, "militantly" going flat and trying to gain attention at being so. At my age, and in my current mind-set, I am fairly confident NO ONE IS LOOKING, so I am very comfortable just BEING COMFORTABLE. Good luck with your clothing shopping, and altering of what is already in your closet. There is A WHOLE LOT to be said for being comfortable, especially in front of the computer at work for 8 hours a day. It makes NO SENSE to be uncomfortable for hours and hours . . . at least that is WHERE I am at at this point. Very happily so, too. COMFY. "AAAAhhhhhhhhh"
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By the way, I bought a $28 pair of microbead forms from the Mastectomy Solutions site, and they are extremely well made and an incredible bargain. The woman who makes them is absolutely lovely to deal with. So if your sewing skills aren't that great, you might e-mail her about purchasing a pair from her. The $28 she charges barely covers the cost of materials. Her labor is pro bono, a gift to her sister survivors.
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Saw a PA at my PCP's office today for some troubling fevers. She need to do a full head-to-toe exam, and as I was undressing asked, "Did you have reconstruction?" When I told her no, she blurted out, "Oh, that makes it easier!" then quickly explained that it makes it easier for her to examine me. I didn't mind the slightest - was glad she was comfortable commenting about it.
Fern, I wear tight-fitting T's a lot, and I don't feel like I'm trying to draw attention. At first I wondered about that, and about whether I wanted to be making a statement. As it turns out, I really think nobody notices. In my case, I have enough mass of pectoral muscles that there's a little fold under them that tends to pull in the T-shirt like a tiny breast might. Maybe if I were young and hot and not prematurely menopausal and thin-haired, people would look more, but given the total of my current incarnation I don't think they do.
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Outfield, you are funny. Gotta say though, that although I am old, going grey and working on the crone thing, I have also lost weight and started dressing better, so every so often I get the old up-and-down from some guy. I am always thinking "Dude, you have no idea what you are ogling here!" and it cracks me up.
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Thanks for this post ! I had a bmx 9 years ago with recon . Then the implants ruptured 2 years ago and I decided not to have to go through any more surgery ! I love being flat it feels so good ! I don't like the stares I get or imagine but I find A big smile is usually well received . I did feel badly when two people had called me SIR but I try to dress more feminine lately scarves and necklaces to distract. I was wondering if it was possible to build up chest muscles so that I could have 2 little bumps ?anyone know of exercises to build up chest ? Thanks
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