I look for other flat chested women. A rant.
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Shippy, good for you. Welcome.
Weight lifting will ever so slightly puff your chest muscles up but this would be considered a momentary reaction to the event of lifting, not an ongoing effect. (Un)fortunately, because we are female and lack testoterone, we cannot build muscle like men are able. I have been lifting weights for about 3 months and don't see a discernable difference in my chest muscles, though I do experience a cinched waist, definition in my arms, back, hips and butt. I think it holds symptoms of lymphedema and axillary webbing in check, though you will need to use a personal trainer who understands your needs, and proceed with caution and care. Slowly and with conscious intent, progressive weight lifting can be an asset.
http://www.uphs.upenn.edu/news/News_Releases/2009/08/weight-lifting-eases-lymphedema-symptoms/
And again, with knowledge, supervision and care, you can lift more than the skimpy get-toned 3 pound hand weights. I use kettlebells (I am lifting a 22lb bell these days though I started with 6, then 8, 13, and now 22), I have an online personal trainer and carefully monitor my right arm (the affected side) and I use my LE PT whenever I need to ask questions or feel the need to take my measurements again. Slow and steady.
I would also add, consistancy is key. If I take a few days or weeks off from training, my arms swells when I start lifting again, my scars get tight, I notice my Axillary Webbing more. But when I work out on schedule, I don't swell and my other symptoms subside. Lymphedema is a major concern for those of us who had nodes removed and although we don't need to stop doing physical activity, we now need to raise self awareness and proceed with caution.
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Kassylou: All of my stitches were internal, so no staples and no stitches to remove. I did have a few spitting stitches which didn't dissolve themselves as expected and worked their way out. I was never teary at all about the flat. I actually found it surprisingly very comforting right from the beginning to be able to lay my arms across my chest, something that was impossible in my prior life. I was GIGANTIC before so it was actually a huge physical relief to be free of them. I am much better off now if only the BC could have been taken out of the equation. The only thing that made me really uncomfortable about my appearance were the cone shaped dog ears sitting right on the breast bone that I not so fondly referred to as The Mutants. Not wanting any further surgery and to allow for maximum healing, I waited approx 15 mos before deciding I could not live with them and had them removed - one of the best decisions of my life. I was lucky that the rest of my scars looked great and have only gotten better with time.
Barbara
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Shippy41, I have short hair as it is too thin and fragile to grow out and am pretty devoid of curves. Certainly have nothing resembling bumps on my chest and no one says Sir to me ever. People do want to know if you are male or female but it does not take a whole lot to answer that question on first glance. There are things that work in my sense of style and those that don't. I stay true to myself but just give an inch on one or two things if needed to answer the question in a 2 second glance. I wear mascara (would look like I had no lashes whatsoever if I didn't), blush and maybe a tinted gloss, always have so nothing new there. I like jewelry and will usually wear a piece or two, again always have. In clothing I like the cut of the clothing to give the illusion of an hour glass figure with clearly feminine details even if it almost has a touch of androgny. Most people I know do not remember the last time they saw me in a dress, if ever. On the other hand I do not go out the door in clothes that you would dress a teenage boy in. Somewhere in the middle is a balance that is very feminine without being a caricature. Things that I like and feel like me. My very best "accessories" are confidence, bright smile and even a Hello. All comes together to bring focus on the face and away from anything else. Never under estimate the power of a smile.
Barbara
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Barbara,
Love your "accessories" of a bright smile , confidence and a Hello. Wonderful words of wisdom for all of us . Just wish my teenage daughter could adopt that philosophy!
Be well,
Nel
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My friends and I had a boob pool to guess the weight of my 40G boobs. I thought you would find it humorous. The winner gets a "booby prize". Any ideas for something fun?
Boob pool
Missy 12 lb
Kassie 10.2 lb
Jase 18.5 lbs
Penny 9lbs
Mary 12.3 lbs
Sara. 20 lbs
Liz 4.25 lbs
Kelly 12.2 lbs
The boobs weighed......
Left 3.2 lbs
Right 3.4 lbs
Total 6.6 lbs
The winner is Liz 🎉🎁🎉🎁🎁🎉🎁0 -
Well, folks, I just dropped in on Breast Cancer Resource Center in Princeton, New Jersey and proposed a support group meeting of women who have had or going to have mastectomies and either have not had reconstruction or are deciding whether to have reconstruction. As discussed here, part of the program is to support no reconstruction and living flat as viable options.
It will be in Princeton at BRCR. which is at the YMCA/YWCA. Tentative date Monday, March 4, from 7 - 8:30 The frequency of meetings will depend on interest. More tba.
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Hi ladies, I haven't posted for a couple of weeks given I was a little pre-occupied with the being fired on my first day back to work thing. But we reached a settlement and I have started to look for a new job. I have spent a fair amount of time trying on my various combinations of clothes again, as I will now have to be ready for job interviews sans boobs (not that I had a lot before). But it made me obsess a little again about people's initial reaction to my flat chest. I have decided that I will camoflouge with a dressy flared cardigan, or jacket over a printed blouse for initial interviews. After all, I was basically fired for getting breast cancer and having a subsequent prophylactic mx, so I don't want to feel I might be discriminated against in an initial interview. (all of this - so wrong). It might be moot however, because in a small town, and it is likely that most offices will already know that I have had surgery, and I may have to do damage control to make sure that everyone knows that there is probably now less chance (in my situation) of getting breast cancer than the average woman has, who hasn't had cancer yet (it would be hard to get a permanent position if employers thought I might be off sick alot). All of this makes me sad, but it has not changed my mind about staying flat and foobless. This is my new body, the only one I have, and I wouldn't feel like me any other way.
It's nice to see more ladies on this thread everytime I tune in! Please don't be too discouraged by my work situation, just know to do everything you can to protect your job, because the boss (in most cases) only looks out for the bottom line. In my situation, as long as I find another job - I'll actually be glad my old employer fired me. I am glad to be away from my old boss. I pretty much knew she was going to do this to me a year ago, when I came back to work from my first surgery - just didn't know when.
As far as clothes go - I agree with the other ladies, big loose clothes do tend to accentuate the fact that there are no boobs, and they do make heavier women look heavier than they really are. Printed tops, fairly close to the body (a little gathering, not a lot) look much more slimming and layering helps until you gain confidence in your new look. I thought I was gaining confidence fairly well until the whole firing thing happened.
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del
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Hi All, I met a couple of women from The Scar Project through Twitter. The short of it is that they have started a group on facebook called Flat And Fabulous for everyone with no recon, no matter whether an original choice or failed recon, and with no regard to whether they wear forms or not. Quite a number are BRCA positive. Perhaps women who are in the midst of trying to sort out their options. The point to be as inclusive as possible. The owner/admins are Barbie Ritz and
Sara Bartosiewicz-Hamilton, both SCAR girls, who you would need to private message to request to join. Certainly PM me if you would like to join and are having any difficulty. This is a Closed Group and so you do have to ask to be added. Again the point is to be inclusive. Feel free to tell others you know who might want to join this group.Barbara0 -
Thank you Starak - just sent a request.
LindaKR
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Thanks Barb. I have been invited to another closed FB group as well, so this may be the nudge that finally gets me on FB. I will pm you once I get myself organized.
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Literally overnight 25 of so new members to the group and the oft repeated refrain, I thought I was the only one. I came out about my Flat and BC on Facebook. Here is my public post.
I am speaking here to ADULTS. I recommend: http://www.thescarproject.org/ a striking raw photo gallery of brave young women who have faced breast cancer. Raw and yet with amazing beauty and grace. I am certainly not young but I share their scars. A new group has been started here on FB called Flat And Fabulous directed at those women who have no reconstruction, whether they chose it, have come to it through a failed recon, medical concerns prevented recon or are faced with decisions and weighing all their options. Women who may or may not wear breast forms some of the time, all of the time, or not at all. The intent is to be inclusive of all those living with or considering no reconstruction. A few of the SCAR girls from The Scar Project have started this group. It is a closed group so you will have to ask to be added. If this applies to you or someone you know and would like to join, contact: Sara Bartosiewicz-Hamilton, Barbie Ritz http://www.facebook.com/marathonbarbie, or Joules Evans
This is my "coming out" of sorts. At least for now I am happily well, a survivor, and grateful for every day it stays that way. I am 100% girl, and live almost always Flat And Fabulous - and No as many of you know I was not born this way. LOL I set 'em free when they tried to kill me. I was not as a woman defined by them before when I had them and am no less of a woman with their absence. BTW, the photo in the avatar is Flat And Fabulous.
Please spread the word to women you know who might benefit from this group.0 -
del
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Starak,
Thank you wonderful site
Nel
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Saw this on FB today - I love it and want one (alas, probably that kind of tattoo isn't good for LE), but I can dream!
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CCFW, that cracked me up "Mr. Nipples." I tell mine that he finally beat me in the boob department.
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Linda,
Love it
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Oh, I love that tat. Had a thought of getting one to help hide the scars. That would really piss off DH.
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Wow, I wouldn't have thought of that. Love it!
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Beautiful.
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It goes around the back too, really pretty - My husband is anti tat, but thought that was pretty awesome. I'm planning on getting a PMX on the non- effected side this year, he wanted me to have a nipple tattooed on anyway, I found a couple of really pretty ones that would work for just one side - he'd got for it, and I'm actually loving the idea!
What do you think - also what do you think about the risks of LE for PMX side, I already have it on the other side.Here are a couple that I like -
http://indulgy.com/post/99ihx3FlD1/mastectomy-scar-tattoo-beautiful
http://pinterest.com/pin/345440233888067348/
http://tattooroadtrip.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Single-Crysanthymum-scar-coverup.jpg
And also the back of the other one that I posted - http://hairscapades.com/tag/amazing-tattoos/
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The pathologists said there is no need for hormone testing of my dcis because I had a mastectomy and therefore the ca is gone. I told them to run the tests. Have any of you heard this before? The dr and nurse knew I wanted this info and the nurse was surprised I asked for it to be run. Won't my onco need to know this or am I just being overly worried?
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Kassy, I guess your stage is so early that you need no further treatment. But I would still want the info. Can't you call the onc and ask why one would do it or not do it in your situation?
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Great tattoo photos Linda, I have been searching for them too as I am very interested in having a tattoo over my un- reconstructed Mx. I have found the artwork I would like to have, but have also found that you need to wait about two years to be able to tattoo the area. I may be over it by then! LOL
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Kassylou: I had DCIS. I had a lumpectomy and then on advice of two other docs because I had such a large area of DCIS as well as LCIS, decided to have the BMX, partially because I did not want hormone treatment. If you had pure DCIS, the odds of recurrence after BMX are 1-2 percent. The best that hormone treatment will do is cut your risk in half. So if you have a 2 percent chance, it goes down to 1 percent, and it's not worth the risks and side effects of the treatment itself for such a small reduction. Anyway, so that's probably why your doctor didn't do the testing.
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Linda - I had a PMX last July with no signs of LE to date. I have LE on the affected side, do the daily MLD to the PMX side and so far all is well.
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Thanks - ohio, why did you choose the PMX? I want to get rid of the lop-sided effect, and don't want to have to wear the Prosthesis, or have any more mammo's ever!!!!
Ariom- I know what you mean about waiting two years, I'll probably change my mind too - do you have some in mind?
Kassylou - was yours HER2+? If so I would definitely push for the extra info!
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I think I'll stick to the rub on tatoos. I think the real kind would be really painful.
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Hi Linda and Wren, I have a design picked out. If I can work out how to post the picture, (I am computer challenged!) I will put it up for you. It is a mix of Tigerlilies and vines and birds. I have had it in mind for years, but never followed up on it.
I had a tattoo done on my hip when I was 40. I had to wait till my Dad passed away because he was ex Navy Officer and anti tattoo because of all the sailors he had pulled out of tattoo parlours all over the world. LOL He would not have understood his only Daughter getting one. My Mother, however, loved it!
Anyway, I am in this tattoo parlor straddling a barber chair looking out the window on a beautiful sunny day. As soon as the tattooist started the sky went black and the worst storm you could imagine started. The wind almost lifted the roof and the rain came down in torrents. I said to the tattooist, "that's my Dad! He's letting me know he's not happy about this!" The tattoo was finished in about an hour, the storm passed and the sun came out again.
You are right Wren, it did really hurt, but like most other pain, it was soon forgotten. I have never regretted having it done, and still like the design, so that's a plus. Plenty of time to decide on having another. It would fit really nicely on this one flat side.
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Awesome story Ariom!
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