I look for other flat chested women. A rant.
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I had phantom nipples (mwoahaha) for the longest. They definitely were not the fun kind (i would call those "fairy nipples"). Instead, they modeled themselves after my nipples during the "being dyed for sentinel node biopsy" stage. Thankfully they are now resting in peace...
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Outfield ~ My last chemo wore me out. left me weak, with insomnia, and incredibly nauseous. I stayed in bed all last week and discovered Amazon had the full Ab Fab series on their Prime rental for free. Unfortunately, I couldn't find the specials. As bad as I felt, the (mis)adventures of Eddy, Patsy, and poor Saffy had me howling. My hubby actually came out of the office with tears in his eyes and held me because he said he had not heard me laugh like that since my dx.
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I am still in the healing stage of my double mastectectomy, and I am very comfortable with my flat chest. I would wear prosthetics if I needed them for an outfit to look better, but could care less about being flat chested. I look like a woman with a flat chest. I am quite comfy with that.
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Maryah, I am so happy you had a great laugh. It really helps.
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MT1 - I haven't worn foobs in a couple of months. Comfort rules! As you said, I feel that "This body is becoming me again." I think of my physique as sleek. And yes, this is a tremendous relief. No more lost hours searching for -- for me -- the nonexistent comfortable foob solution. It is liberating. Thank you for starting this topic (thread?). It has helped me more than I can say.
Something my husband said a couple months ago, while I was obsessing on foobs, that made me laugh: "There was a day when I thought I could never get tired of talking about boobs."
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Ellen, love your husband's comment.
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MT1 - I too am on the Facebook group and I have enjoyed it. Still this thread has helped, encouraged and changed me in so many ways I cannot even express. It is the one thread that I too am loyal to and the many fabulous women on it. I cannot thank you enough for starting it and everyone who keeps it going.
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Thanks Starak and Ellen, and everyone really. When I made the rant, I meant it. I still do. I want us Flatties coming out from behind the foobs and making our statements of beauty however, whenever possible. The human body is gorgeous, I think it is unfortunate that we suffer from sicknesses like cancer, and more unfortunate still that we put such pressures on ourselves to maintain a status quo that does not reflect the circumstance of our time.
And because many of you are new and may wear forms, I am not saying you should not wear them, we each need to do what works for us. I am speaking to societal mores and expectations.
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I too am on the facebook group . . it is helpful as well. I am taking each day as a "what to wear today" question and wearing or not wearing foobs . . . yesterday, I wore ALL DAY the foobs and my aneoma camisole . . . I was not sore at the end of the day . . . that was a first. The struggle and learning curve are worth it - the goal, for me, is COMFORT and "comfortable in my own skin" . . .
I must say Starak, your picture posted of the "pre-BMX you" was enlightening . . . I was the opposite of you, and others - being "nearly an 'A' " cup . . . so when all 1.6 pounds of boobs were removed, the result does not look ALL that much different than before. TEE HEE. I always hated bras, hated being flat, etc. I did my "duty" and nursed my two infant children one-year-each . . . and until about 10 years ago, had delightful sensation in my breasts (and elsewhere). Somewhere in the past 10 years, my hormones disappeared, and sensation was lost . . . and now, the boobs are gone too . . . so, all-in-all, it has come full circle.
Now, if I could just be like our fearless leader (of this thread) and get exercising to create muscle mass in my upper body, THAT would be great . . . and lose a few pounds around my middle and gain a waistline . . . THAT would be great . . . . but, as I age, I've decided to be nice to myself. If it happens, so be it, if it doesn't, I'm attempting to enjoy the ride and not be unkind to me.
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Yes. Foobs= fake boobs.
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Learned something tonight for anyone still trying to join the Facebook group. If you go to this link:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/FlatANDFabulous/
it is my understanding you will see a button to ask to join. You can also run a search on Flat & Fabulous, click on it and again ask to join. We have a number of members from BCO, just tell them you are from here. If you have any difficulty, PM me here with your real name as it appears on Facebook and I will help you. In that case I would likely have to Friend you in order to add you. I would say message me on FB but they have some stupid fee or message goes to Other box. I am going to try to figure out the Other thing.
Barbara
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Well, I requested to join the facebook group. Scares me because up until now I limited Facebook to true friends who live far away. It's perfect for that.
Yesterday I was at the deli counter of the coop grocery store where I shop. The counter guy asked me what I wanted, and I pointed out that the woman next to me had been there first just as she started to pipe up that it was her turn. As he went off to work on her order, she told me that she always gets missed in situations like that now, that it's an age thing, people just don't see her anymore. I would guess she's about 10 years older than I am.
So here we are, she sees a situation as having happened because of her age because it's what she's particularly self-conscious of. I think what happened was something else. That counter person, like most of the employees there, knows me on a conversational basis. I'm there every single day. Several checkers have my 6 digit account number memorized. When I go in, people make eye contact and we greet each other. The counter person had seen me, already made the sort of "hi" eye contact, and turned attention fully to me when he had a chance without doing his full scan of the area. He's 20 years younger than me, it's not a flirty thing, just a we've talked about a bunch of things thing.
That woman went home thinking her age had been an issue again.
I went home thinking of my post about all the different reasons for staring at someone, and how this was a similar kind of thing. I think we experience what we're sensitized to experience.0 -
5 days now of no prosthesis!!!!! I bought a couple of the Genie camisoles, and love they way they fit, the give my big old real boob some support, and it's tight enough to keep that one under control, and for the concave side, the little bra liner, or whatever, makes me a little more level. Boy am I happy, overall less pain and discomfort, learning how to layer, wear a baggie top, or through on a light scarf, it's almost making me reconsidering having the prophy MX, but ..... I'll probably have it.
I'm just really excited to be embracing the "real" me - people always ask about the compression sleeve any way, so why should it bother me if they ask about my breast
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Outfield: You've made a wise observation. People make assumptions about why other people act a certain way based on their own expectations, which may or may not be correct.
LindaKR - Happy first week as a flat and fab gal.
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I decided to wear my prosthesis and camisole to Mass this morning - oh my goodness, couldn't wait to get home and go back to flat and fab !
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Hi Linda, glad to hear you had some fun trying out all your options this week:)
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Linda, You wil figure it out as you go. Haven't worn mine for a week. Easy here right now in snow raveged Massachusetts! I have figured out most of my clothing, let's see when spring and summer come along
Be well
Nel
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I briefly considered using prostheses today, went out for special meal after church, wore a somewhat clingy dress but it had a matching jacket which gave some vertical lines. No foobs and I felt just fine. I am finally becoming a little more comfortable in my clothes - wish I felt as comfortable in my own skin and body, maybe that will come with time also.
Keep warm and dry everyone!0 -
I do think that it would be easier to go foob free if I had that prophylactic, but actually my DD and I were out and about all day yesterday, shopping, etc.... and I just had a little scarf that acted as a distraction, not sure anyone noticed!
So any of you that had big girls - is it more comfy to have them both gone?
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Linda I had the second one removed a year later and am very pleased.Almost never wear foobs now.I travel and swim a lot so being one sided made me very uncomfortable.I am much happier flat.
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LindaKR, I had BMX from the beginning. I had gigantic girls and Yes I am soooo much more comfortable without them. Barbara
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Hey ladies. I had a masectomy in July 2010 and 2012 was spent on reconstruction which failed failed failed. On Wednesday I'm I having proph msx done on the other one.
I'm excited to be symmetrical, as I don't like to wear bras at home and I'm always at the gym so a padded gym top should be easy.
Also I'm glad I don't have to have mammograms any more and always be conscious of lumps in the other Breast. I do hope after this I can close the chapter for bc.
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Hey Red, welcome to the flat club. I hope your surgery goes smoothly.
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HI Red!
I was a size C. I do find summers much more comfortable without the girls. however, I still have some issues with discomfort - deep deep itching and aching - on the side that had the cancer. I'll be two years out in April.
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LindaK - I was double D. Had right MX then all the treatment. Plan was recon but I changed my mind and went for left MX. No recon. No foobs. No nothing. Just me and my flat chest enjoying life. Maybe I enjoy it so much since I had big boobs all my life. Only problem - I have many extra pounds so the belly seems to show more. So - I'm working on downsizing the belly. Still doesn't change my mind about no foobs.
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Alexandria, I also continue to have pain & itching on the bc side but not on the other. I find stretching, myofascial release, massage therapy, and general increasing activity has been helping over the past few months to relieve the tightness from the scars and tissue adhesion, so that seems to in turn decrease the pain. I think I am finally into an upward spiral on the discomfort thing instead of the downward spiral that lasted for a year. Also, the hypersensitivity pain in the back of my ALND arm that made all my clothes, bras, any movement of my arm, including driving and even walking with minor arm movement - anyway, I had a second injection of the intercostobrachial nerve and have had tremendous relief. That is one reason I was considering actually trying a bra and prosthesis again this weekend, but as I was running a little late, just said to hell with it, just get dressed and go - no muss, no fuss, no foobs, just flat and free.
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I just read on FB that it's hard to get Medicare to pay for a PMX - do you guys know if this is true? I one my SSDI, so will be on Medicare starting 3/1 with a Medigap supplement. I think that I could get it done for medical reasons, but didn't plan on a fight?
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Alexandra58, Same is true with me, I am almost 3 years out on the cancer side, I feel itching, aching, sometimes it even feels like a swollen lump in my breast (but I have no breast, nothing)
Recently I had the flu and my scars ached from all the coughing, the cancer side is much wors than the non cancer side. I asked my doctor and he basically said it is what it is, after all this time, it is just nerve paths and how I healed. Like Starak, I also hurt where the lymph nodes were removed...and even my arm hurts at times. I do not measure to show LE....so I don't know what the pain is about.
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Crystal, I have similar stuff sometimes. As for the pain in the arm, it is most likely lymph issues, just not bad enough to measure. The first sign, for me, of an LE flare is pain down the back of my upper arm. Even when it flares, it is barely measurable, but I can feel it in how my arm closes (or doesn't quite) and in my torso.
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