The Hermit Club

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  • CCFW
    CCFW Member Posts: 570

    deleted

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    CC I watch to many crazy movies that's why that word came to me--he did look down at the computer and laugh, that's really when I knew that word was wrong--Oh well, I told u hey ll say I'm goofy nyway so they're used to me.

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    Teka, u'r so funny

  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 1,748

    Hi - i am ok still in the basement but done bits of housework today (my house is filthy) and bits of sorting out.....also finalised something I have wanted to finalise for months so feel good about that as its a source of negativity largely removed from my life......otherwise I am just going through the motions and not feeling bright at all, just want to de clutter.....

    But I am warm, although wind is getting up here, so stay cosy as hear you are in for a miserable bitter time.......

  • dutchiris
    dutchiris Member Posts: 783

    OMG, I'm in Victoria's  Secret.  I obviously look like I don't belong here.

  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Member Posts: 942

    I just got back from doing errands. Made a deposit at the credit union, paid the rent, & water bill, picked up books on reserve at the library for DH, went to Walmart, & Aldi. Brought the groceries home and put them away, then Gus, my mini daschund, & I took the Grandkidlet home. 

    I was rather surprised the shelves weren't picked clean considering the weather that's forecasted for the next 3 days. They were busy, but I managed to get a good parking space, and only had to wait 5 minutes for an electric handicap cart.

    I pray the bad weather holds off long enough so we can go to church in the morning, and I always look forward to lunch out with church friends after.

    They're already (as of last night) predicting schools to be closed Monday, & Tuesday. I've never heard the meteorologist do that before.

    Back to being a hermit, hiding out in my cave, until I find out if we have church.

    Paula

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,976

    Dutchiris- get something sexy there! Even if it's just for you!

    Soteria- glad you could get out for errands. I hope you can get to church tomorrow!

    Lily- good to hear you are working on organization today (me too) and finalized something that needed your attention. Positive moves and hope it makes you feel better. Little things like this make a big difference.

    Cami- the whole narcoplepsy/necropheliac thing is really hilarious. I love the stories about the visits to your docs.

    Teka- hope you can get to that breakfast tomorrow with the cold and storm?

    Been working on home organization. Putting away the last of the Xmas stuff. Also some summer stuff that has been lingering in one closet. Making room for new things, bagging other things to pass along to my community. Got some take out asian food for lunch (yum!)

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    Lily I'm gla u got some things done today, I know u pushed u'rselve but that's a good thing to do. Whatever u do is a step towards healing what needs to be healing.

    Paula all the energy u have, can u share some please. I think u should be able to make church tomorrow, the really bad weather will start probably for u during the day. And I know to predict school closing is unheard of yet we're hearing about it.

    Jazzy I hope u'r taking advantage of some down time---U still need it.

    I hope Skittle is doing OK--I miss her.

  • Tomboy
    Tomboy Member Posts: 2,700

    ....hey women! i am doing the very same thing, organizing and putting things in bags that have outlived their usefulness to me, can i throw in my breast surgeon? just de-cluttering ,and catching up on 3 year old chores, by now. wow i cant believe that it is getting so cold for some of you, please stay warm and comfy inside and safe if you don't have to go out. went to the open air veggie mart, walked there and back one mile. folded one load of laundry, and basically puttering. made a nice breakfast for me and my man today, and am keeping up with my journaling on paper. but always come back to hear how every one is doing, and happy it is saturday. i did buy a great lipstick for myself at sepphora(i loooove color!) and some epsom salts for my bath, good for softening skin if you have hard water, and good for achey bones and muscles too. met my endocrinologist yesterday, she was great, and was the first person who talked with me about good things for women with osteoporosis to eat.Thanks arimidex! no drastic measures like another drug yet, though. hope everyone has a great first saturday of the year!

  • grammaB
    grammaB Member Posts: 1,118

    Sally, the bad weather is skipping me this time around.  I would like some snow here though.  Hope you found everything you needed at WalMart.

    you too blondie, hope you got out and back home safely with your fast food! :D

    Jazzy, love the kitten in the snow!!  Man, do I need to get some home organizing going!!

    I used to order from Talbot's catalogue many years ago.  But that was when I was working in an office and needed "dress up" clothes. :D  

    cami, you're pretty funny too! 

    Lily, glad you were able to get one thing finished that was causing you stress.  Every bit helps.

    dutchiris, who says you don't belong there?  Get yourself somethin pretty!

    Wow Paula, you were a busy little beaver!!  Hope you are able to make it to church tomorrow!

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,976

    Cami- I got a lot done around home today, even got a small part of the garage reorganized as I put away the Xmas boxes. But at the end of the day, I am pooped and opted out of going to the gym this evening as I was planning. Got plenty of exercise with all the stuff I had to move around today. Tomorrow morning, I will go to yoga once I am rested up again! 

    Now I am relaxing this evening and will take an epsom salts bath with some lavender oil tonight. Maybe a nice lit candle too. It will help me to sleep well again tonight. Not having the on again/off again schedule with go live days and mid week holidays is helping. Three days off in a row feels almost like a vacation! 

    Hope everyone is faring the storms and cold weather. Be careful any of you with breathing issues as that cold air can be very damaging to the lungs. 

  • dutchiris
    dutchiris Member Posts: 783

    I didn't buy anything but I do still smell like the perfume my daughter sprayed on me.

  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Member Posts: 942

    Cami, can't say it took a lot of energy to do my errands. I used drive thru at the credit union, rent, & water bill, both went into drop boxes, grandson went into the library for me, I used an electric cart at Walmart (I hobble with a cane) and I only needed 5 items from Aldi, so the only energy expended was driving. He carried the groceries, and I put them away. Easy peasy.

    Paula

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    Teka I love kids and what they say to people hahaha

    OK Paula now I'm really proud of u for making it all so easy. That's my way of thinking

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,976

    Hi hermits- how are my cold and snowy hermits doing today?

    How is Lily today too?

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    Jazzy this could be  place to go skiing for once--It hasn't stopped snowing, inches upon inches.

    LILY how are u doing.

  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 1,748

    I am feeling guilty as I am so miserable, I HATE myself, hate my flatness, feel the way I did 18 months ago, back to feeling hugely envious of women with two breasts, its like being punched in the gut just seeing them, I feel soooo abnormal and every time I think of going anywhere my first thought again is, can they tell, how can i do this as a freak etc etc....and if i dont want to be a freak how can i ever find the courage to risk my life again???  Pathetic, I cannot even have a mirror in the bathroom, its not about vanity its about how i feel. soooo not normal, i know I can disguise it but what if they  find out, I cringe going to doctors or nurses, I cringe being seen or found out, I do not feel ok in myself

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    OMG Lily I feel so bad for u--u wouldn't feel freaky in my family, my mom, sister, cousin and niece and me are all deboobed. Maybe cuz I grew up with my mom being like that it was really nothing to the rest of us. IDK but it has to be awful for u because there are so many of us and the Drs. surely don't look at u as odd in fact some of them are admiring the work done, truly all my Drs. have said it's a beautiful job. like I care--I don't even wear  bra I do wear scarves sometimes and that covers things a little. I just wish u could see u as the beautiful person that u are, it doesn't have to be physical it just is. My whole family doesn't feel any different with me, my Kati-Kat is still all over me--we haven't really changed, just some minor adjustment to get rid of this awful disease. There is nothing magical that I can say, u have to see and feel it for ur'self but u'r not a freak, u'r a brave woman, tht has been thru lot and it doesn't end immediately, but u'r here now t this point, it's a bad hump but u will get over this--u'r beauty is deep let it come to the surface and u'll see how much better u will feel. 

  • spookiesmom
    spookiesmom Member Posts: 8,178

    Well said Cami!

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,976

    Lily- my heart goes out to you. The lost of your breasts has really been so hard on you emotionally.  And it is for for many women. I did not go the MX/BMX route, but my sister has an MX, and was very quick and decisive about it. She said she has no idea how she was going to feel after the breast was gone. It was far more difficult for her emotionally than she could have imagined. And perhaps that is true for you also. And Teka's suggestion of bringing your post to your doctor at the next visit may be a good way to discuss this so you can find out how to get some support around this. We are here for you in all the ways we can be. 

    Cami- if I were there I would break out the cross country skies and/or snow shoes! Sounds like a lot of powder your way. 

    Teka- did you get to the breakfast this morning?

    We got a touch of the cold front here. I was out early this morning to the gym for a yoga class and then some grocery shopping. Been home since working on cleaning, organizing and cooking. A dish of chicken parmesan is under way. Got a massage in a few more hours, been three weeks since the last one and looking forward to it! 

    I have had three really good nights of sleep. What a joy.

  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 1,748

    Thanks but there really is no support here..........they told me i had cancer then 3 weeks later gave me a leaflet on how i might feeling hearing i had cancer.......!  There are no breast cancer support groups only a group that calls itself "mastectomized women" and poses for photos on local newspapers.....like i am going to go near people with that level of sensitivity....................over here you often see people with a limb missing and no one worries about prosthetics, its a primitive mindset to me............I dared to tell a nurse how i felt and she just tutted and said be positive and there are great prosthetics, you can even go to the beach and be normal................not true!

    I spent a year looking for support groups, nothing, remember i am a minority immigrant here, different culture.........

  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Member Posts: 942

    Church was awesome today. Afterwards our usual small group went to O'Charleys for lunch. I tried the Cajun shrimp & andouille sausage, & veggies, over cheesy grits. It was wonderful! We stopped at The Anderson's General Store on the way home to get DH a pair of Carhartt Safety Toe boots for work. What  a great deal! They were $119, and we got them for $39.99. Now it's NAPTIME!

    I'll be back lat. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  • dutchiris
    dutchiris Member Posts: 783

    Lily,

    I'm not as good with words as some of the ladies here but I want you too know I care.  You are not a freak.  You have been through alot and have more going on now.  Be gentle and kind to yourself.   You are in such a difficult place but it will get better in time.  During that time, keep talking here and let the doctors know how you are feeling.  Sometimes it seems they need to hear it more than a few times.  The nurse's response to you seems dismissive of your feelings.  I would guess she didn't mean it that way.

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,976

    I saw this on FB and think it is very powerful. Particularly for those here who struggle with the changes to their body. It will lift you up.

    http://www.upworthy.com/i-bet-these-people-never-expected-to-be-models-but-the-results-are-so-gorgeous-2?g=2&c=ufb2

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646

    Lily......where are you from if I am not being too personal.....do you have family...if not, let us be your family.......we share pretty much everything here, and are all hood listeners........Hell...sometimes we even come up with solutions........

    We can be your support group......your reaching out by just posting here, so keep coming back...we are here for you....

    No advice, just honest love and caring......you can do this, with a little help from your friends.....US......hugs

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646

    Jazzy beautiful........I had a poster in my home when my children were growing up...it was  a picture of a little boy, and the caption said.........I MUST BE PERFECT, CAUSE GOD DON'T MAKE NO JUNK.......he was in a wheelchair..........so you are only as perfect as you allow yourself to believe you are.......

    I have have twin great-grandaughter's......one is perfect.....the other one can't sit alone, can't stand or walk, but in my eyes she is perfect....maybe not her body, but her beautiful face, and soul......what she lacks physically......she exceeds mentally.......

    The people in the video were amazing....thanks again...

  • grammaB
    grammaB Member Posts: 1,118

    Lily, I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time with this.  I wish there was more we could do for you.  Just know we are always here and will listen whenever you need to talk. We want to be your support group.  Sending prayers and healing energy your way.

    cami, and dutchiris well said.  

    Paula, score on the work boots!!

    Teka, glad you had a good breakfast, followed by a nice rest in the recliner!

    Jazzy, that was beautiful! I loved how the models embraced their manikins! 

    ducky, what a great poster!  You are so right, the true perfection or beauty lies within us in our soul/spirit/heart, not in the outward appearance of our body.

    Hugs

  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Member Posts: 942

    image

    Wow, I didn't go down for a nap until almost 7 pm....back up at 9 pm. Didn't rest very well. I'll make up for it tonight. DH & I watched the Mentalist and he went to bed. I'll have to stay up until at least 2 or 3 am.

    I'm praying our electricity doesn't go off. I can hear the winds roaring outside. They had already decided this afternoon to close all area schools tomorrow. That's almost unheard of around here. All of the snow melted today from all the rain we had. Now we have a snap freeze.

    This is my Gus. (Above) he's a Red Pibald Mini Daschund. He loves the Mama.

    Paula

  • grammaB
    grammaB Member Posts: 1,118

    Aww Paula what a cutie!

  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 1,748

    i agree its not what you look like that matters and i have learned to dress to disguise so i am sure no one can tell by looking at me when i wear prosthetic BUT. Its about how I FEEL in myself, I do not feel normal or ok and have had to change how I dress which also does not feel like me but my old way (not flashing cleavage but wearing loose tops) is no longer available to me. I know i sound vain but its not that, i am hardly a glamour puss, its shame , embarassment, fear of pity, and total not ok ness with my body.  I never go naked even in my bedroom now, never let OH see me, and just cringe every day at habing to deal with myself