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The Hermit Club

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  • kltb04
    kltb04 Member Posts: 234

    Hi fellow Hermits...does anyone else think of the group "Herman's Hermits" when they read the title of this thread - my mom had a thing for them.   I digress.

    I typed out a whole huge long post this past Sunday and our power went out and I lost it all, now I don't even remember what I was going to say.

    Just the same old same old around here...sitting around either posting on here, reading, watching TV, refereeing fights between my kids, sleeping way too late because we don't have anything to do.  The heat has subsided ever so slightly with a little rain we have been getting but there isn't anything I want to do outside even if it is 95 instead of 105.  I am taking my girls to the movies tomorrow since my WBC was ok this week.  Then my MIL and DH's nephew are using our house as a layover on their way home from a trip Friday so I will have to be social :)  Not really, I wasn't social before...she is used to me saying "alright then, well, nice to see ya" after she has been here awhile and going off to my room to read or something.  She is mainly here to see DH and the kids.  

  • annde
    annde Member Posts: 9

    I'm sooo happy I found this thread I'm not losing it.................:-) I'm sort of a  hermit I like quiet esp the last couple of years my kids(3) are either on their own and last one leaving for college in fall :-( but I have been enjoying the alone time for a long while  I have been feeling very ill for a long time and still very very tired and withdrawn I really have no energy for anyone but myself. I feel guilty all the time b/c I don't do much anymore when I use to do most everything. My common law hubby i know is upset b/c his children (2) 12 and 15  wanted to stay over the week since it's summer holidays but he is at work long days and i really don't need the extrra stress right now feeding fighting and just noise I'm  terrible aint I but i just don't have the energy right now nor the frame of mind to deal much with anyone....................Oh God help me

  • Beckers
    Beckers Member Posts: 979

    Hi Kltb, What are you seeing at the movies? I recently started going to movies again after many years. I forgot how much I like the popcorn...ha! I just got my surgery date today for Aug 9th and will then have no choice but to hermit. So, I will be getting house ready for the big event. Have you had surgery yet?

  • kltb04
    kltb04 Member Posts: 234

    We are seeing a lot of movies lately just to have something to do because of the heat this summer.  As for tomorrow, um, it's embarrassing...keep in mind I am going for and with my kids - age 8 and 12.  The Katy Perry movie (hanging head in shame) Embarassed  DH and I went to see Ted last week on a date night (potty humor but pretty funny).  Then my SIL and I are planning to go next week to see Magic Mike. 

    I really used to hate spending money on movies when you know they will be out on DVD in a matter of months but since my dx I am like "what the heck!  It's only money"

    Don't have my surgery date yet - I have a BS appt on the 1st of August to discuss further but I know that my last chemo should be August 13th so I am guessing around mid-September? 

  • Jejik
    Jejik Member Posts: 26

    Kltb04...if you don't mind Katy Perry's music, the movie actually wasn't bad at all! I took my stepdaughter a few days ago, and I actually enjoyed it. It was more like a concert than a movie. Plus it was only an hour and a half, so even if you don't like her music, it goes pretty quick...

  • kltb04
    kltb04 Member Posts: 234

    thx Jejik, actually I don't mind her music - I have been singing that dang Firework in my head for days since the 4th, lol.  So it won't be so bad...I just have to take a big purse so we can go by the dollar store for drinks and candy to smuggle in for me and 3 girls (oldest is bringing a friend).  I am just glad to have plans to do anything at this point!

  • Beckers
    Beckers Member Posts: 979

    Kltb, it sounds like fun. I love smuggling in the movie treats. Ha! I want to see Ted this weekend. What surgery are you having?

  • kltb04
    kltb04 Member Posts: 234

    BMX is the plan. BS keeps mentioning lumpectomy as an option but due to my age (38) and just the agressive nature of what I am dealing with (grade 3 her2+) I just feel the BMX is the right choice.

  • mamglam
    mamglam Member Posts: 17

    Hi,

    Since I have completed my treatment, I too have been a hermit!!  I did have a few issues with recovering from the rads but now I am done and still don't feel up to doing much.  I have been dragging my feet to be more active - purchased a pedometer to motivate myself.  

  • Jejik
    Jejik Member Posts: 26

    Kltb...sneaking in drinks and snacks is the way to go! I am ashamed how much I spent on food for my stepdaughter and I...but, I am pregnant and all that movie theatre goodness was too tempting....despite the sucker and bottle of water I had brought from home, ha ha. I was briefly stage ii and my surgeon told me that there was only a small difference between a lumpectomy and rads versus a masectomy. If I had it to do over again, I might have chose masectomy, although it ended

    Up not mattering at all since I was stage Iv. I really hated radiation though!



    Mamglam...the only use I would have for a pedometer is clocking how far I make it each day to the bathroom and back...but more power to you. ( ;

  • Beckers
    Beckers Member Posts: 979

    Jejik, when is your baby due? Were you worried that being preggers would be harmful to your health, or maybe it's ok being you are ER/PR -??? Why do they say mastectomy doesn't matter if you are stage 4? Makes me wonder why they don't do scans for everyone before mastectomy to save all the trouble. Hope you don't mind all the questions. Just curious about so much with respect to BC.



    Good luck with the motivation mam glam. I think at a certain point for me it began to take more effort for me to do things. Kind of got stuck. Trying to take some action steps now. Discouraged because I am getting ready for the big surgery in a month, which will knock me for a loop. Back to square 1. Heavy sigh....



  • kltb04
    kltb04 Member Posts: 234

    mamglam - good luck becoming more active.  I desperately need to do more than I do but I am just exhausted all the time from chemo.  And like Beckers, with surgery coming up I know I will be set back again.  But on the flip side, I know that recovery would probably be easier if I would do more now.

    Jejik - how far along are you?  Lol on the bathroom trips!

    Well, the movie was actually pretty good.  I enjoy "behind the scenes" type  shows anyway. Worse problem was an OBNXIOUS family sitting behind us.  Not the kids, the parents - talking at full voice level through the whole movie.  It was literally like these people had never been to the movies before.  I went out once and told an employee and they came and stood there but never really did anything about it.

  • Beckers
    Beckers Member Posts: 979

    Hi kiktb04. Just got back from seeing Ted. Can't believe there were some little kids in there! Had some laughs. How's surgery preparations coming along? I know this 3.5ish weeks is gonna go by fast. Yikes!!! Nervous!!

  • kltb04
    kltb04 Member Posts: 234

    There were some kids there when we went too - I was like "seriously, don't you people know what this movie is about??"

    I am still in denial land about surgery, lol...I know it's coming but can't think of it yet.  I still have two more chemos to go.  Next BS appt for surgical consult is the 1st and PS appt is the 6th and that week we are also planning a little trip before back to school time.  So my mental calendar stops there.  And then it will be back to school.   I am really glad school will be back in before surgery time though.  I have a lot of help - my parents will probably even bring their computer back over here to my yard :) - with the kids and at least they will be occupied during the day.

    On the movie front - Magic Mike tomorrow night with SIL...

  • Beckers
    Beckers Member Posts: 979

    You are having BMX? What type of reconstruction are you having? I'm glad your parents can help. My husband works from home and one of my friends should be able to help too. How has chemo been? I'm so lucky my oncotype is only 19. I'm getting 2nd opinion because I did get bilateral synchronous BC's but still don't think I will have chemo.



    Let me know how Magic Mike is ;-). Have fun!

  • CSMommy
    CSMommy Member Posts: 58

    I *used* to be a fairly outgoing person. It was rare for me to pass up a happy hour or a get-together. But ever since being diagnosed, I have become that hermit! I'm finding it's for a couple of different reasons. During my first round of A/C chemo, my WBC counts took a hit and I was constantly sick, so I was terrified of going out in public for fear of catching something. And sho' nuff, I went out once and got sick. I'm still working, modified hours, but I've got my own office that I can shut the doors to, which I think helps (although that's probably all in my mind).



    My other reason, which is purely vain and selfish, is I'm afraid of seeing people I know. I've lost all my hair and wear scarves almost exclusively, and I'm afraid of people making a deal over it. I did agree to a birthday breakfast a few weeks ago for myself, and I saw people I haven't seen since before this whole shebang started, and I was a nervous wreck.



    Like others here said, I hate talking on the phone, and depend on the Internet and texting. I'm trying hard to open up here, because everyone seems so helpful and supportive.

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    CSMommy--I'm sure this will be temporary for u--u sound like u really enjoy going out so right now u might feel different cuz everthing is so emotional and it's hard to act like everything is fine so being alone is so much simpler. Bit I bet when things settle down u'll be with u'r friends again and enjoy alot of what u used to--Well I wish that for u.

  • kltb04
    kltb04 Member Posts: 234

    Yes, BMX, my choice - with the chemo, my tumor has shrunk from 3 cm to about 1.6 (that was at the halfway point, before I started Taxotere) so lumpectomy would be an option but with my age and just all factors considered, I just am more comfortable with BMX.  There was also a spot that was questionable on my mammogram in the opposite breast that they never could find with u/s or MRI.  So anyway, my BS is onboard and not trying to talk me out of it thank goodness.  As far as reconstruction, I am just going with implants (I will have TE's put in at time of BMX).  I just can't commit to more than that!

    The only thing that concerns me about the implants is rads.  I haven't discussed it with either BS or MO since I was first diagnosed.  I hear different things.  I do have 1 out of 4 nodes positive AND I am her 2+ so I have a feeling I may have to have them...and if that damages the skin, then that can be an issue w/TEs and implants...but I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

  • kltb04
    kltb04 Member Posts: 234

    Was typing the same time as you CSMommy - I see from your diagnosis that you are still in the middle of chemo - will you be having surgery after?

    I hear you about not wanting to see people - I quit my job after dx (it was just a retail job that I was working to have something to do/extra money around the kids schedules) but I had been at the store for nearly 4 years so I had some work friends there.  I have yet to go back since I quit.  I just don't want to go in there unless I feel like I am looking just right and that moment hasn't happened.  

    About the hair - I shaved mine in the middle of my first A/C and started out wearing a wig - that didn't last in this heat this summer.  So now I am doing scarves and caps/hats - which I am pretty comfortable with.  And blinging earrings of course :)

  • CSMommy
    CSMommy Member Posts: 58

    Yes, kltb04, I'll be having surgery after my chemo is done, before rads. I'm still not sure on how extensive of a surgery we'll be doing...what I do know is I have node involvement, and they'll have to do a full sweep of the left side; the right side is up in the air (although...if I have my druthers and can convince insurance... I'd like to take the right at the same time). I'm just now researching my choices and options - I still have 10 chemo treatments left.



    My girlfriend is threatening to take me, drag me, to happy hour this Tuesday. I bought a wig when I was first diagnosed that I've never really worn, because I feel fake, if that makes sense, but I'm considering wearing it. I live in a HOT climate, so ugh....wigs are so stifling here.

  • kltb04
    kltb04 Member Posts: 234

    I hear ya - we have heat and humidity and it is just miserable.  Mine just bugs me because it itches. 

    I'm going to be real fake tomorrow, lol - as I try out my false eyelashes for the first time.  Never in my life worn them but losing my lashes is worse than my hair on my head was. I may make a total mess of it all!

  • CSMommy
    CSMommy Member Posts: 58

    Oh, good luck with the lashes! I'm sure they'll look fabulous!

  • Beckers
    Beckers Member Posts: 979

    CSMommy, you will like it in the hermit club;-). My friend had BC which ended up stage IV and after a year of chemo, rads etc., she actually became agoraphobic and had anxiety when leaving the house. I've been home since April and still have the big surgery and recovery to go yet. I noticed you have two different dates and cancers you were diagnosed with. Do you have it in both? I do so I was curious I guess. You and kltb04 should just rock your baldness! Wigs sound horrible this time of year!!! (but it's probably easy for me to say).

  • CSMommy
    CSMommy Member Posts: 58

    I was originally diagnosed on 4/10 with Stage 2. My ultrasounds/mammograms/biopsy showed a single 2 cm tumor. On 4/26 I was upgraded (if you want to call it that?) to Stage 3 after my PET scan came back showing the tumor grew to 4 cm, had a couple new tumors next to it, and it had spread to my lymph nodes. I'm convinced that the biopsy opened a floodgate of cancer cells and caused it to spread like wildfire.



    And I'm already enjoying the hermit club. :) Thanks for helping me feel at "home".

  • blainejennifer
    blainejennifer Member Posts: 441

    The trick to the false eyelashes is to trim them to fit your eye first, then apply the glue and wait for it to get tacky (about 15 seconds) before placing the strip along your lash line.

    Good luck.

    Jennifer

  • Beckers
    Beckers Member Posts: 979

    Oh my gosh CSmommy! It sounds logical that punching out flesh during biopsy could spread cells. It's worrisome. That's so fast! Wildfire is right. Wow.

  • Jejik
    Jejik Member Posts: 26

    Kltb04...glad you liked it. I like behind the scenes stuff too. Though I did wish there was a little more on what was going on behind the scenes cos I am nosey like that! Ha. People talking during a movie drives me batty. I have a hard enough time concentrating as it is. ( ; as for your other question, the baby is due 9/19, but they are inducing me at the end of August so I can get back on my herceptin. A friend is a cosmetologist and she is using me as a

    Guinness

    Pig this week to put on these

    Long lasting fake eyelashes. We will have to compare notes. ( ;



    Beckers...Yes being pregnant has definitely been a threat to my health. I had to stop my herceptin and I can't get scans to see how the cancer is doing. Even though I am er-pr- there is the risk that if the cancer shows up somewhere else, it is positive the receptors could change. A nurse practitioner once told me that getting pregnant would be the worst thing ever for my cancer.



    All the doom and gloom aside, when I surprisingly came up pregnant, I sought out several medical opinions on what to do about the pregnancy. For me, my heart always knew. But once they determined that the baby was okay despite the treatments and scans I had before I realized no was pregnant, the general consensus was that I could do it. I had an MRI without contrast a couple of months ago and there was

    Still NED in my liver.



    But until I can get a full pet scan, it will be hard to know for sure what effect being off the herceptin has had. But even if my scans come back good, I still have to come to

    Terms with the fact that I am bringing this little girl into the world knowing she probably won't have a mother who can see her all the way into adulthood. That is hard. But honestly the miracle

    Of me getting pregnant when I was trying not to And didn't think I even

    Could just seven Months out of chemo and the baby seeming to be totally okay...it is almost like it was meant to be.



    Anyway I am rambling. The thing with the Iv not requiring mastectomy is that the whole idea of a Mastectomy is to keep the cancer from Spreading To Distant organs...once it already has

    Spread, whether the cancer comes

    Back in the breast won't be where the battle is won or lost. You can live without a boob, but you can't live without a liver. I'm getting tired

    So if that makes no sense let me know, I will clarify.



    Cs mommy...I went through chemo in Arizona, so I feel you on it

    Being too hot for wigs. I rocked The bald look. Kind of felt like it was a badge of honor...or courage. I definitely don't have the most beautiful face in the world (chemo made my face swollen)

    So it probably wasn't the most flattering look, but I was all about making me comfortable.

    If people stared

    Or asked stupid questions I let it

    Roll off.

  • Beckers
    Beckers Member Posts: 979

    Jejik, thank you for sharing your story. Sounds like this little one is truly meant to be! One of my best friends passed away when her kids were teens and you know, they are such awesome and very successful adults (better than one of mine has turned out...whoops! Did I just say that? Ha.) you are getting close to having her. Are you so excited? Is this your first? You must be hot as heck being that preggo this time of year!

  • Sissydi
    Sissydi Member Posts: 183

    Welcome new hermits! Sitting in the big girl chair for treatment #9 of 12 Taxol! Glad to know you all!

  • kltb04
    kltb04 Member Posts: 234

    Sissy - good luck today - remember Hermit Rule 101: don't make eye contact so no one tries to talk to you!

    Beckers - I just started "rocking the baldness" at home only!  Until the past week or so, I had been staying covered up even at home with some "care caps" I got from an ACS program - they were pretty comfy but with the heat and all, I found even those to be uncomfortable so I said forget it.  My DH and kids don't care so neither do I!

    Jejik - thanks so much for sharing your story - best of luck as you get through the next month or so - pregnant in the summer must be the worst!  Mine were born in March and the very first of June.   

    Jennifer - thx for the advice on the lashes - I am about to go try them now - I'll let y'all know how it turns out!