keno - This is a hard decision to make and I wouldnt know how to advise you. I am wondering whether you want to start your own thread maybe in "caregivers, family, and friends" or "relationships, emotional crisis, anxiety, and depression." You might get responses from others who have been through this. Best wishes.
I agree with u Stormynite but in her words she has planned the right amount of certainpills will end it for her and who knows when she thinks it time---She is absolutely a threat to herself with just those words. She has a plan and I know it's difficult but by a judges order it can be done. Legally she can't pick her time so that's why I think do whatever he can to stop it. It's awful to do this with anyone bit when they talk about it I believe ina way they want help, otherwise u wouldn't tell anyone---I know that thru experience.
Sorry, but I have to disagree, tho I do see your point.
I have watched 3 people I love die horrible suffering drawn out deaths. I refuse to go out that way. You can bet your butt I've made plans to make sure that I don't suffer as they did and that my children won't have to watch as I and the rest of my family did. This does not make me mentally ill nor suicidal, this makes me a realist.
Legal or not, in some situations, people can, do and should be able to "pick their time."
Oh Stormy I'm sorry and I do know what u mean I watch my mom and stayed with her til she died for almost 2 yrs and she suffered so much and when she refused her meds that was fine with me. it's terrible. So I do agree on so many levels. But this lady doesn't even know what she has and she's planning her own demise--That I don't agree with. That was really my point. Not about cancer cuz we know or other horrendous things--all this sucks=--and Legal or not I do aree with u on that. as sad as it is.
Camille, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. That had to be so hard. *hugs*
I do agree that she should at least find out what it is. It could be so many things that could be treated easily.
I was unclear in my first comment in my haste to put down my thoughts. Every effort should be made to get her to at least talk to a doctor about it, but I don't think he will be able to force her without ruining their relationship.
Hopefully it is a benign something and she will never have to put her plan into action.
Keno, not sure if your still reading, but these ladies have given you something to think about. I hope everything works out.Thanks Cami. It all sucks at any age. I don't know about you ladies, but I'm really dreading October. How many t-shirts, ribbons, hats and candles do you think you'll get? I think I'll hide all month.
I hope my friends and family know me well enough not to give me any pink stuff this Oct. I'm going to hide with you markat!
I hadn't really thought about people giving me that stuff - though by then I know everyone at work will know since I've pretty much decided not to try dealing with a wig. I'm a casual, non-fussy kind of person and I think headscarves and things like that will be just easier to use. I don't think my immediate family will but I could drop some hints now. LoL
Besides, why should I need a pink ribbon when I have a missing boob and missing hair to keep me aware of cancer? :P
Oh no I forgot about october coming up before we know it. Why do people feel the need to talk to usn about the pink stuff and they gave money to it, or something or my favorite do u wear pink all month>---Why yes I do with my pretend pink bra. That's terrible the way I think but it's a clumpy month to me anyway.Oh well we'll get thru it, we always do Stormynite I'm sorry if I came across so harsh I didn't mean to really especially to u , well or anyone for that matter--I'm not a harsh person I think we're both strongin our beliefs and we hould be but I wasn't against u--I'm sorry don't take offense--We cool?.
Jinkala, and anyone going thru chemo or about to start, google Good Wishes Scarves. They will send you a free silk wrap. It takes a little while, but I loved mine! So pretty.Camille you have a great heart!
Ohh markat, great idea! I got one of their silk scarves and tho I haven't had need to use it yet it is sooo soft and pretty!
Camille, I am afraid of sounding harsh a lot myself. I'm not all that eloquent and tend to just say the first thing that comes to mind without putting any thought into how it sounds to other people. People that know me know I don't mean for it to be hurtful or rude, but I forget that people here don't know me.
Stormynite--OMG I'm the same way--I have no filter and my friends know that too so it's not a problem, but u'r right people don't really know us here and I do have a sarcastic send of humor and try to watch it. hahaha
Markat I just read about the scarves all u do is google that----I'm always wearing scarves now--my new look hahaha
And thank u Markat.
OK I nhave the stupidest question ever---does anyone have special tates for things then after a little bit u don't want it anymore----like remember when u were pregnant. it's so strange My kids are wondering how this is happening from week to week and that's all I want.
OK stop laughing long enough to answer.
Cami, lol. I was on 3 week intervals so the first two weeks I lived on Bob Evans mashed potatoes. Then the 3rd week I would eat everything in sight. I can't even look at mashed potatoes now without gagging.And the name of the scarf website is: goodwishesscarves.orgI would link it, but I'm posting from my phone.
markat OMG I did mashed potatoes for 2 weeks too, now I don't eat them at all hahahaha. Now I'm on beff sanwishes with peppers, and I don't eat meat--except for hamburer and meatballs--but I don't like beef WRF is happening. There must be more of us out there--Thx for sharing with me.
Thanks for all your input. I was drowning and needed some sort of liferaft to grab on to. I do think I'll try again to get her to agree to at least communicate with our family doctor and get his opinion/advise. You are all very wonderful to speak to me. Thanks again.
Some of the pink stuff bothers me way more than others. Hermit tendencies are strong today. I told myself I was going grocery shopping, but talked myself out of it. Bah.
Another gift of breast cancer is I feel aged beyond belief. I'm only 35, but feel 85. The song whose lyrics state: "I'm much too young to feel this damn old" comes to mind. Anyone else feel this way?
Even before the cancer I had days when I just felt way older and yet at other times I feel younger than my age. I'm sure once I start chemo though, I will find more and more 'old' days.
I sit around in the evenings watching TV with the boyfriend or playing computer games wearing just a t-shirt (no bra or cami) and lounge pants and I can easily forget about the cancer and the mastectomy. I can feel normal for a while. I'm just worried that chemo will take some of my 'normal' times away from me with fatigue and other side effects.
Oh only 35---There are so many younger women who state that on all the posts, so I think it's so common.-I'm so much older but before I worked FT, lived alone did everything I needed to do went out, babysat--Now I too feel like I've aged 20 yrs I think this gets all of us in different ways. It's not just a horrible disease it's complicated with so many different aspects to how u feel during and after and I believe not every Dr. (or most) unless they really went thru it themselves know how bad we feel.
Jinkala I didn't mean to scare u really---Everyone is different with different times as to how often u get it, how long--everything. So u might take it better than some and it won;t be so bad. There's no one who can say what if any side effects u will have so try not to worry and just get better.
Hi Hermits - my y'all have been busy - can't catch up.
I heard about the scarves through an older post of Ann's (coolbreeze) on her blog and just requested one last week. There was also a site posted where you can request donated hats - they are not new but I thought that I would request and just see what I got and redonate if they weren't my style/taste. I would have to look up the site.
I feel old too - I just turned 39 so I was 38 at dx...but now I want to get old. My friend last night was complaining about getting older and I just thought "hell, I hope I live to get older"
Speaking of, had a nice time last night with my friends and my SIL - went to a sports bar/pizza place, ate, had a couple drinks and hung out for a few hours. Very un-hermit like of me. I do still have BC at the back of my mind though. We didn't really talk about it at all, just about our kids, lives, etc...
RE: Food - when I was on A/C I had super cravings/aversions. Taxotere hasn't been that bad. On A/C I went to Cracker Barrell and had chicken and dumplings. Now I never ever want that again - I associate it with the SE of A/C. I find I don't care for french fries??? anymore. I am very picky with what I eat/won't eat anyway but chemo has made it worse.
Oh, I went bald yesterday a couple places just for the hell of it. LOL. No one stared or said anything. I don't know what I was expecting. It was liberating though. It was just so hot that getting in and out of the car/running errands (108 degrees) I didn't feel like messing with the hat. I did put on the hat/scarf when we went out.
Jinkala - was rereading above and wanted to reassure you about chemo. Mine was slightly different - Adriamyacin/Cytoxan for 4 and then Taxotere for 4. A/C was worse on me but even then, I had a chemo day (fine), a shot day (fine) and then maybe 3-4 days of side effects and then two pretty good weeks before the next time. The second week my white counts were low so I had to be careful about going places (even with nuelasta) but week three I was "normal". With Taxotere, the SE days are even less.
During chemo, I have planned and thrown birthday parties, gone shopping, gone on two vacations and planning a short vacay next week, cleaned my house, gone to the movies and out to dinner with friends.
I would advise finding an August chemo board of people starting chemo when you are. Even if they aren't on the same drugs, you can compare notes. Still post here too of course!!
Cancer has definitely aged me. There's too many of us 30 somethings... well too many of us period. Kltb good for you for having a fun night out! Are you getting herceptin? I noticed you are her2+.I also went on vacation and during chemo. It wasn't my favorite vacation, but the kids had fun I'm currently on tamoxifen, so I haven't really drank. It's not worth the hot flashes for me.
Markat u'r right there are much to many younger people getting this, I know to many all together, but it's harder (I think) on younger women there are so many kids involved at young ages and it has to be so scary to them to see their moms goin thru this. This used to be for older women and now u can't be ruled out at any age. I wonder why it has gotten where it is with all the research going on. It's just so sad for everyone.
markat - yes, I started Herceptin with my first Taxotere (now on 3 of 4) and will get it for a year. Only one more chemo, then Herceptin only.
Yay for 1 more chemo! The herceptin has been pretty easy on me. I get a little tired and my knees ache but that's better than the alternative. My heart has stayed about the same, give or take 5 points. I was pretty upfront with my kids about the cancer. I'm hoping it hasn't been too hard on them. If I'm wrong, maybe they can write a book about it and make some money lol.