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The Hermit Club

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  • Sissydi
    Sissydi Member Posts: 183

    Ktlb04, lol! That's soooo what i did today! My eyes were glued to my iPad!

  • CSMommy
    CSMommy Member Posts: 58

    Best thoughts to you and your baby girl, Jejik.



    Hope today went well for you, Sissydi.



    So....how did the lashes work, ktlb04?

  • kltb04
    kltb04 Member Posts: 234

    Well, the lashes were trial and error.  The first time (before I went to go get labs), I didn't use enough glue and I had one come halfway off in the parking lot, lol, so I had to pull them off.  Then I reapplied them but by that point, I had so much goop and eye makeup on and off them that they were getting irritated.  Plus I don't know how well I did with them since as soon as I got to SIL's house, she said "are you wearing eyelashes?"  LOL.  To which my brother replied, "oh cool, I didn't know you lost your eyelashes too" Tongue out

    The movie was fine...about what I expected.  Although during one of the dialogue scenes, my SIL was like "less talking, more stripping." I saw some acquantances come in during the preview but they didn't see me; just as well, I didn't have to do the whole "how ARE you?" thing.  

  • Beckers
    Beckers Member Posts: 979

    Love the eye lash story! Movie was good? I just realized why I don't go by my job. I don't want to deal with how are you's either. I've also gained a few. :-/

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    kltb hahaha--I would be like that too with lashes--they are not as easy u think--but good try and next time u might get it.

  • kltb04
    kltb04 Member Posts: 234

    Channing Tatum was good - lol - Matthew McConaghey is getting freaking old!  He was perfect for his role in this though.  He was like the "boss/owner" of the group.  It had some serious themes too but there was so much giggling in the theater from all the women in there that I don't think anyone took it too seriously!

    I may betray my hermit-ness - a couple of friends are wanting to get together in a few weeks that I haven't really seen on a regular basis in years.  We were friends all the same neighborhood when our oldest kids were all toddlers (10 years ago) and then I moved about 15 miles away and we just keep on touch via FB now.  They did bring some meals out right after I was dx and started chemo. 

    Anyway, I had posted on FB about watching a kids show that our kids all used to watch and we got to reminiscing about how we would have what we would call "DSP" - Drunken Scrapbook Parties - back in the day.  LOL (hey, no one had to drive, we all lived in the same are!)  None of us scrapbook anymore but we agreed to try to get together in a couple of weekends.  I told them I didn't "D" much anymore either but I can have one or two, lol! We'll see if I actually go through with it- I am bad to make plans and then back out. Undecided

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    Ktlb now that sounds like a fun time to be with old friends.  But I too am famous for making plans and at the last minute I don't end up going.  I don't push myself enough I know, but sometimes I'm just to tired and when I want to leave I want to leave so....

  • kltb04
    kltb04 Member Posts: 234

    Ok, since I have been talking to these friends on FB more (private chats, I don't discuss my BC issues on my public profile), I am having to educate them on the nature of BC.  About mets and how it can recur at any time in the future...that I will never consider myself "cured"  About how I don't do the "pink ribbon" thing and how too much emphasis is on early detection/awareness and not enough money/research is done on stage IV.  Hope I haven't scared them off, lol...I tend to get on a soapbox...

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    Kltb  hahaha good for u

  • Beckers
    Beckers Member Posts: 979

    You go girl!!! I was just preaching to the lady helping me at Renta Center about how I would not have known I had this if I didn't show up for the mammogram this time (which I confess I was not good at in past).



    (Renting a fancy recliner for a couple months, as I am having DIEP recon at same time as BMX.)

  • kltb04
    kltb04 Member Posts: 234

    She wasn't offended thankfully...she was just saying I was "lucky to have caught this early because she had a friend of a friend, etc..." and I was like, um, yeah, well....anyway, like I have said before, if I can help educate some people, I will consider that part of my lot of having this disease.

    I am going to need to get a recliner too!  I have read several people say they are a must after BMX.  My parents actually have an "extra" one that I may just borrow.  

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    kltb---use the recliner--I don't even sleep in a bed anymore.--Maybe cuz I always slept on my side and now with a bad shoulder and hip, I'm limited in the comfort of a bed. Bit a recliner it's easy to get up and not hurting all these silly body parts. Give it a try

  • kltb04
    kltb04 Member Posts: 234

    camillegal - We are thinking about getting new furniture anyway so maybe I should invest in a good one???  The one my parents have is a smaller type, I don't think it will be very comfortable.  I will probably put it in my bedroom temporarily (so I can be by myself if need be. I will have to move my treadmill out not that its getting much use anyway!)  But if we bought one, it would then eventually be moved to the living room.  My kitties will have to have a very strong talking to before we buy new furniture, lol!  They aren't super bad on scratching but they do occasionally use the furniture.

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    kltb--LOL my cat thinks all the furniture belons to her.  But personally I would get a really comfortable recliner and easy to recline (arms) I just left the hospital (again) a few days ago and when I was admitted my chair was all set up for me (the chair lady) and they move the bed out of their way. And it 's fine. It's so much easier to get up and down without using u'r arms that's why I've kept it--I have no bed in my bedroom and much more room--hahaha

  • Ysa
    Ysa Member Posts: 32

    Kltb04:  if you are going to do it anyway, I would definitely invest in a really good recliner.  Do get one with a push button for lowering the footrest, as well, unless you are going to have someone at home with you full time for the first couple of weeks.  My recliner (a really comfy but older Lazy Boy with a lever on its side) was wonderful to sleep and rest in but I needed help with the footrest lever (both up and down) every time I needed to get up.  Just didn't have the strength in my arm for a bit after my BMX/DIEP.  I've seen others here who have gotten the push button type and been just fine.

    I'm such a hermit that I've been only lurking here for weeks.  LOL  My biggest interactions are with my husband (who is also a hermit so we match up wonderfully), my sister (a couple of times per week by phone and text...she lives in another state), my mom (several times per week by phone, also in another state), and my best friend who I finally saw on Sunday for the first time in 4 months (since my surgery).  Mostly she and I email but have made a commitment to see each other at least monthly now.  I have a couple of other friends who touch base with me by email about once a month or so, but other than that, I'm just fine with the amount of interaction I have with the outside world.

    Like many gals, I am finding it hard to gather the energy to focus well socially, while trying to manage SEs of Femara and surgery recovery.  So I enjoy this time at home, trying to be a healthier person, loving my kitty/birdie/hubby (not necessarily in that order--but sometimes!), exploring some abandoned crafting projects again, and just doing what I can do (which changes daily, it seems).  Not a lot more energy for anything else.

    Back to lurking and thank you all for sharing so openly.  Good luck on your recliner purchase and surgery, Kltb04!!!

  • Beckers
    Beckers Member Posts: 979

    Hi Ysa. Thanks for the info. I love this site. I have been off work since April and now gearing up for surgery in 3 weeks. Renta Center has lift recliner with remote control for $137 a month. Do you think I will need 1 or 2 months?

  • Ysa
    Ysa Member Posts: 32

    Ack...let me think about that.  I actually recovered in a hotel room (no recliner!!) for 3 weeks post-surgery and then used my recliner for about a week after I got home.  HOWEVER, I might have used it longer if my husband hadn't had to go back to work.  At that point, I moved to our chaise couch so I could get up and down as needed without assistance.  Can you make that decision toward the end of the first month once you see how you're doing or do you have to decide up front?  If you can afford it and have to decide up front, I'd go for the two months.  Even if you stop sleeping in it at night, it's nice to have around for resting during the day.  Not much help...sorry!  Let us know what you decide and how it works for you!

  • kltb04
    kltb04 Member Posts: 234

    Ysa - thanks for the input - I hadn't even thought of the lever/opening and closing it!  Good points.  Welcome to the Hermit Club :)  

  • Beckers
    Beckers Member Posts: 979

    Thanks Ysa. Kltb, drunk scrapbooking? How funny. How'd the scrapbooks turn out?

  • kltb04
    kltb04 Member Posts: 234

    Depended on the night - lol!  We would all get together and pool our supplies.  I used to be pretty good about it - for my oldest, I completed one scrapbook for every year from the year she was born til about age 4 I guess.  For the youngest, um, I think she has one!

    Then everything became digital and you had to get pictures printed out and then people started doing more photobooks/online things...so we quit doing "real" scrapbooking.  Now the majority of the pictures I take are on my phone and posted to FB immediately.

  • CSMommy
    CSMommy Member Posts: 58

    Oh, ktlb04, I love the sounds of Drunken Scrapbook Parties! My girlfriends and I have what my friend's daughter calls "Drinks and Appetizer nights". We each bring a drink (alcoholic or not) and a couple different appetizers and sit around someone's house for hours while the kid's play (we all have young children).



    I did get out of the house on Tuesday. It was really a good time, and I met some women I consider good friends so I was nice and comfortable. I wore my wig out for the first time - definitely something to get used to! I haven't had long hair since I shaved it off in May, and it was actually bugging me, seeing it out of the corner of my eye. And I always had a nervous habit of tucking my hair behind my ears and I can't do it well with my wig.



    And kltb04 - bless you on your soapbox. I couldn't have said it better.



    Y'all have me thinking about a recliner. I need to talk to my hubby...

  • kltb04
    kltb04 Member Posts: 234

    CSMommy - yay that you got out of the house!  I figure I will wear my wig again more once it gets cooler - it is what I looked like in my profile pic before I changed it - looks much better than my real hair ever did! 

    Yes, this all started when the kids were little so we would do the same thing.  The kids would play while we scrapped - we all had toddlers the same age as my oldest so they were my daughter's first friends - both boys, one about 3 months older than her, one about 3 months younger.   Good times, lol.  They all kind of drifted apart once they were school age and then when she was in first grade, we moved out of town and changed school districts.  Now the kids are all 12.  And they are not invited to this soiree if we get together, lol.

  • Sissydi
    Sissydi Member Posts: 183

    Good morning fellow hermits! Have a great day today with minimal s.e. 's!

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    Wow are we hermits we don't talk to each other for days at a time LOL and we understand each other.

  • lisagwa
    lisagwa Member Posts: 39

    Hi all, I have been very withdrawn. My mom's passing was and still is the worst, breast cancer followed, and other misc stuff (hubby issues, job loss, self-esteem, etc).



    I have been hot and cold with friends and I think they finally understand not to call and to give me time, although i do speak with some parents to coordinate driving and schedules for my children. I do not not want to burden others with my negativity. I do not not want to talk because I am withdrawn. And, I know this sounds bad but, I don't want to listen to other problems or make daily chit chat. I dont mind it if it's on this board because it doesn't take a lot of effort or energy.



    My internist doubled my antidepressant and prescribed lunesta. Still, unless I am home in quiet and without pressure, I just don't feel right. I apologize for being a downer. In fact, if you saw me out in public or with my kids, you wouldn't be able to tell any of this but inside I feel like being a hermit.



    Lastly, with all this said, for me, I don't think this is a good way to move past being sad and move on to being healthy mind and spirit. Thanks for letting me get this out.

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    Lisa u do sound so depressed I'm glad u'r Dr. started u on something, but sometimes they have to change meds a couple of times so make sure to teel him how u feel on this drug.

    I'm not depressed at all actually and I chose to "hermit" muself for my own healing from sadness of different levels. I still see my friends and family and talk with them alot--but I don't care to make small talk with people I know that are not my dear friends. That's why I chose to stay alone alot and I enjoy it. I'm not sad about cancer, it's SE that have put me in the hospital  a couple of times this month and eplaining it to people is just plain tiring so I'd rather not. LOL

    And if u read all the posts not everyone is saying they don't talk to people, we just prefer non-explanation and if we do tslk about it to each other we all understand this feeling--depression and sadness (to me) are 2 different things. And I do have my sad days, but everyone does.

    I do hope u find peace inside of u, it's very difficult to take a path when u'r feelings are flat. But keep u'r Dr. aware if it's not working and when u find one that does work u'll feel the difference. Life wouldn't be life if we didn't have our low times, but we also have our good times. My sister and I lost our parents right before we both got cancer and same stage--that was difficult for us cuz I argued with her that Mom's chicken soup would make me better and she said I don't think so. Well we'll never know now. And we talk about them so so much so we can share them and our good times with them together.

    I wish u all the best and healing thoughts to you.

  • lisagwa
    lisagwa Member Posts: 39

    Thx for your kind response. I know when Iread what I wrote I can't believe that it's coming from me, kind-of like a disconnect. To be continued...

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    Lisa we're all here for talking too--so if this will help please join in u'd be surprised how good it feels to ven, get anggry or just pkain rant--we all understand--that's the beauty of it.. ((((Lisa))))) Those are hugs--se what I learned LOL

  • Sissydi
    Sissydi Member Posts: 183

    Yes Lisa, we're here ....I'm not depressed, but I do isolate myself when I'm feeling bad. I'm not looking forward to going back to my church......I haven't seen a lot of acquaintances since all of this started. I'm going to get the 20 questions big time, and have to explain how I'm doing a million times.

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    Sissy u hit the nail on the head--it's questions upon questions and some who have never had anything like this ive u an opinion from someone they knew and say maybe u should have......or whatever and u'r family and close friends know the answers and never second judged me---but other people have with some horror story about someone they knew. LOL soooo

    But I just took my shower and I do aromatherapy--oh it's so relaxing and sooths my mind. I started tbhis a while ago and it's great I smell sweet sugar now and it's so nice--I slather myself with different lotions and even my skin feels good hahaha