The Hermit Club
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Blondie and Jazzy, my kid who calls to check on me once a week lives only 10 minutes away, also. I think he feels guilty for not visiting but I like to be alone most of the time anyhow so he shouldn't. I will say he is good and will come drive me to the doctor if I ask. My youngest son wants to hear I am doing well all the time--he rather think I am not sick so if I am not up to dinner or sitting around watching television with him he gets upset. If I need a ride to the doctor he will tell me to ask my oldest son or a friend. My middle son who moved to Virginia is waiting on me to visit him and my step-daughter decided to move back to Florida on a whim--two days before my exchange operation while declaring how much she loved me. She did not even call home to see if I made it through surgery and has only called me twice since November.. I love my kids but they don't get it. Neither do some of my friends--it like some of you said--no one truly understands what we are going through, My BFF practically begged me to go to this Bar birthday party for another friend when I was hurting so bad I could barely walk; I was nauseated, had cold symptoms and swollen lymph nodes and her response to me was if I would go --she would drive, I have had to turn down many events, holiday parties and other functions my friends or family have had--just felt exhausted--or too sick. They don't realize how I am feeling. Of course, I am always being told I look well. I guess that means--well for having Cancer. Can't help but love them though and keep doing what ever I have to do to get through. It is funny that you guys on BCO understand me better than people I've know all or most of my life. Love and Hugs!
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Good morning hermits- I continue to educate my family and friends on what I am able (and willing to do). Because I have always been a girl on the go, doing lots of social events, going to visit people who ask, etc., people have come to expect that of me. Now I pick and choose what I want to do and what I think my body can handle.
Many of my friends and even extended family don't know I had cancer either, I kept it very private so they are not even aware of the changes in my life. I told the ones that matter, the ones I could trust, needed help from, etc I too have people who act like I should just be "over it" and back to normal. I keep my distance from them now.
We are all a reminder that anyone can get cancer. I have friends who say "I am so surprised YOU got cancer because you have always been so healthy, eat well, exercise, take such good care of yourself." I told them because I am healthy and strong, it helped me to get through this and be able to resume a good quality of life after the fact. But I also say "you are not the same after all this". Some try to understand, others prefer denial, others try to resolve the whole thing in their minds about why you got it in the first place.
That is what is so great about bco and all the cool threads here. It is a place to talk about the things no one else gets!
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Agreed
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Hippdy hopped Santa Bunny is coming to town?
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Our snow just melted but still cuddly cold and stayin in.
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Hi hermits- I heard it was snowing in various parts of the east coast from friends, mid west too. It snowed here in NM on Sunday to Mon but probably nothing like you guys had. I know you are sick of it. Winter go and stay away!
I am mad at myself this evening. I was invited to something at my client site by some folks that include my client for Friday evening at a local brewery. I was told it was a couple of us getting together late afternoon for a few drinks. At first I said I couldn't, then moved a massage around to another time in the day to be able to go. Something I could do since I took Friday off. Then one of the women told me after I confirmed I could make it that the client was bringing her husband and small children to happen hour.
What is difficult about this for me is that this is often what happens with this client. She invites people to something or accepts an invitation by others and then invites her husband and kids, or other people. One time I invited her to dinner for her birthday and I guess she told some other people in her family about my invitation and the next thing you know, about 8 other people invited themselves to this dinner. You sort of just have to know that if you invite her to anything or go to anything she initiates, her tribe is coming with her. I just forgot as I had stopped going to these types of things.
As you know, I am not someone who enjoys going out with lots of people in situations that feel like too much work for me these days. Part of the new me. So I think I have two options for friday, to either just stop by this event for a quick hello, or just opt out and say something came up.
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Oh Jazzy that's kind of tough--cuz u really hate to get all ready to go for a stop in (well I do) Well I know I would opt out, but u'll figure out what's best for u. And I understand that feeling now, so I can't help.
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Sneeze on her and say something came up. Sounds like she has a LOT of nerve!
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I think our weather is taking a turn. It was 31 degrees this morning and we had snow flakes and ice, yesterday. I had a a hard time deciding to wear my warm coat or a spring coat. When I got to work today--at 31 degrees-- I couldn't believe how many kids walked into school in shorts, t-shirts and sandals. I guess they are not turning back on Spring no matter what the weather. Was glad i wore my Spring coat--didn 't want to look like an old fart bundled up for Winter. Tomorrow, our weather is suppose to be somewhat better. Heck, I might even wear my sandals to work.
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Hi Teka,I am also from Essex county .I just actually came to this site recently.Always just searching for answers.Was just about to leave this site.Alot of very old discussions.Some info tho.Best of luck to everyone here.Going back in hibernation!
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Rainonme I hope u don't leave--we can be informative but sometimes we just need clear understanding and like to rant or just talk, it's relaxing with nice people.
Teka how sweet of u'r husband--u lucky duck.
Dwill sandals yesterday--Oh it was cold, just plain cold out. I think Spring is postponed a little or we'll just go into a humid, hot summer. Blah
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Happy Day
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Good morning hermits- snow, snow go away!
Teka- how lovely you got some daffodils. One of the best flowers in spring!
Cami and Spookie- thanks for your feedback. We used to be friends but she has just been too much the past few years with these behaviors, so I have tried to just keep the relationship mostly professional at this point. I need to just keep in a good place professionally for the reference. I am leaving this contract in a couple months and don't plan to return to this client site again, so a gracious exit is my focus now.
Rainonme-welcome to this thread. Nice folks here where we can share, rant, get support, have a few laughs. It is a non judgement zone and hope you will feel free to stay here and join in the conversations when it works for you. We get the need to hermit here too.
Weather here is warming up after the cold snap. I am anxious to wear sandals too.
Have a good day hermits! Off to the fun house.
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Rain..........glad to have you.......we don't always Hermit.............its a fun bunch.........who do look out for each other.................your gonna like it here..............
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aww..thank you all..I am glad I decided to pop back on this morning..I was surprised and happy to see your messages.
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We're glad u came back too. Rain
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Rain, please don't go away! Welcome!
Dwill I used to be a school bus driver, you are so right about the way the kids dress, or not.id look like Nanook and they wouldn't even have a jacket. Gotta look cool for school!
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Bringing Spring back--wearing my sandals, today! I'm looking cool!! Br-r-r
Rainonme--love the name! Glad you decided to stay and become one of us! Welcome! Glad you decided to become one of us!
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Welcome Rain. It was snowing when I left work this morning. Now sunny and in the 40's. WOOT a frickin heat wave.
Jazzy, I have a work friend and a cousin who your work friend would love. A, 1 on 1 dinner or lunch always turned into an Event.
I have pretty much stopped doing anything with her. She has a huge heart but can be very attention seeking and misguided. She thinks she knows me yet does not. In the end she exhausted me. I often do the dart-n-go. Make a brief showing just to get my social fix or keep myself out there. I am good with that if the mood strikes me to go out, but not fully commit to an entire evening. You know I am also good with just going incognito/alone. Anywho, I feel like I am rambling. Been doing the OT so I can buy the new appliances, bathroom vanity and toilets too.
Love the images....the Spring Boot kicks AZZ!
Going back to Hermit for a bit......
Piper
xoxoxoxoxox
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Wellcome rain
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Hi folks- at work for a bit and most everyone is gone. Many off the next few days for Good Friday into Easter weekend. Going to my fav yoga class tonight.
I used to know a woman when I first moved here who used to ask the question when she was asked to join an event, she would say "who is going?" We were in an outdoor sporting/adventures group and don't think she liked everyone in the group, but used to think it was so odd to ask that question. Like you invite people and whoever shows up, shows up, right? Now I get that question. Helps you to know exactly who is going to be there and if you should say yes, or just say "I will come if I can." I will say I have become much more non-committal with things post bc. People are a lot of work!
And I have another friend in the past few years that suggested the "drive by" is always an option for social outings. If you know it is going to be more than you want to deal with for the entire duration, show up for an hour and then say you need to go. I have done that a lot with things when I want to keep that social face, as Piper says.
Warmer today but going to get crappier into the weekend with possible high winds and t-storms Saturday. I made plans for that bike ride with my friend but now we are looking for a Plan B for Saturday instead. I will get the bike back Friday anyways and can ride it around my area until I have a chance to meet up with her down by the river. Maybe time to get my biking legs back?
So Teka is doing Easter at home. Lilly went to the UK for a little vacation. What is everyone else doing this weekend? Inquiring minds want to know....
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I also have to share this today from a FB post. I saw fields of bluebonnets when I was in TX a few weeks ago and paired with the eclipsed moon, just spectacular. Enjoy!
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Thank all of you for your encouragement here and welcoming me.I haven't don't this before.I am at a bad place with everything that's happened this last year.I question why did I survive? I know I am not the only one and I don't mean any disrespect .I don't know where to go from here.Just started a new med again and I know half of my mental issue has to do with it.I have faced a lot of difficult situations in my life and held strong.I was a kidney donor .I stepped in front of a gun to save someone from getting shot, but this finally broke me .Last thing I want to do is burden anyone! I am the one who is supposed to be helping.Been along plus year! Rain
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LOL!!!! Spring loading error! So true!!!!
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Pretty pic. Jazzy. haha about asking who's going and make an appearance for a while then leave. Sounds very familiar. Now the other nite there were about 70 people here at first I didn't notice cuz there is plenty room, but after a while it just got to me and I enclosed myself in my room, shut the world out and I was never like that. I was always one of the last people anywhere, now forget it.
OK I think it's time to unwind from the IRS who are literally holding me hostage they are all brats, like I have any money WTF I can barely live month to month, they must have me confused with my last name like Lady GAGA
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No idea wth I did...............You can see Grayson in her Upsee........go to UTube.....search.........Kira Charlton..........my grandaughter.........the video of Grayson walking will come up.........
for now here is a picture.
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Happy Day