The Hermit Club
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Good morning Tek................suppose to get some wet snow here in the Philly suburbs ...........but today is really nice.........for some reason I keep thinking its Sunday.................enjoy your breakfast...........
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Good morning friends- I have been up doing some cooking and going to shift gears and head up to Santa Fe to meet a friend for some shopping and something tasty to eat. It is a beautiful day here. I heard the NE may get some snow? Old man winter needs to go to sleep now.....
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Hahaha👍
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Good Morning Tek...almost Good afternoon......yes everything is good, and so is Stella...........
My son is on a cruise and I have their dog......she is a cute one, and is very good......this is Snickers...
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She looks like. sausage.....lol...........she was this little tiny thing till my DIL plumped her up.....I said to my son "what the hell happened to snickers".......he said "your DIL happened"........then I I said "good heavens what does she eat".........my son said "Everything"..........."NOT ON MY WATCH".............LO
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She is.....I have her till Thursday.........
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I am feeling antisocial since I don't know when the tears will start. Feeling down since my pathology is not back yet and not happy wit the way my surgery is looking (buyers remorse for not having a mastectomy - if I decide later will it be covered by insurance?). Not taking any phone calls and watching Family Feud a lot (the show is totally mindless). One day I even watched Match Game from the 80s and most of the guest stars are deceased! Hoping that I will be able to accept the love and support of my friends soon. Oh and my 23 year old daughter thought last night was the perfect time to call and complain about her roommate using up all her garlic and how aweful life is.
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Aw, Joni, I feel your pain. We just get to where we can't handle people! Sometimes they are so insensitive, and we are hypersensitive, it's not a good match. I've gotten to where I will be downright rude to people like that, which isn't like me at all. I would probably respond to a complaint like your granddaughter's with "Well, it could be worse, you could have cancer!"
You are welcome to bitch and gripe and moan here any time. My hubby watches Family Feud incessantly so he won't have to deal with the other shoe dropping (will the cancer come back?).
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Joni- thanks for finding our thread. We understand the need to be alone a lot, especially during dx and treatment time. People are not always helpful, even though most are more clueless than trying to be deliberately unkind. That being said, our job is to get through what we must and not our job to deal with other people's questions, fears, etc. It is okay to tell people you need to be alone and will reach out when you are ready.
I still need a lot of alone time years later. People sort of forget where you have been with your journey and that you are not the same person you were before.
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I have been sending people e-mails telling them I am feeling down but that I appreciate their call or e-mail and will reach out to them when I am feeling better. I also contacted the ACS to find the names of therapists who specialize in depression due to cancer. My husband pretty much forced me to go out yesterday - we bought a vacuum!
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Joni- a lot of women go through depression with this. It is an excellent plan to find someone who can help you with counseling support. Reaching out to ACS is an excellent step.
I used to be able to go shopping, etc. but just stayed away from group functions for the longest time. Anything could set me off and make me teary. I am not a highly emotional person so it was hard for me to cope with that. But we go through so much (and so fast) and just takes time to adjust to everything. So be patient with yourself.
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Thanks, Jazzygirl. I cry several times a day and really over nothing in particular. I think my friends are anxious to know what is happening and I really don't want to rehash it several times - or even once.
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The snow we had yesterday is gone!!!!!!!!!!! We only got about two inches before it started melting about midday!
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Pretty much lost it today and DH held me while I cried. It happens. And I know it's harder on him, emotionally, while my pain is mostly physical. If I ever thought about what I would do with my life when I retired, it never would have been: sit in a chair all day in pain with barely enough energy to make it to the bathroom when I need to. This is just no life at all.
Rant over.
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I don't feel so alone now. I had reexcision yesterday after lumpectomy 4 weeks ago showed a positive margin. I was diagnosed January at 41 after having right chest and shoulder pain and they found 8mmx13mm cancer in LEFT breast. Found out my pain was from partially torn right rotator cuff tear. Since then, I have been having anxiety attacks, which I have never had before, sometimes I feel like I'm having a heart attack and just cry for no reason. Wait on this test, wIt on this surgery, wait on this genetic test, wait on biopsy reports, wait on path results, wait on oncotype results. Then i was told the margins and nodes were clear and found the positive margin myself on the report. Radiation oncologist was ready to start radiation and I had to tell him of my positive margin and back to surgery again! I don't know why I cry so much, it is stage one with negative nodes and they found it early, so i don't understand the depression I'm feeling. I should feel relieved and blessed. I have to force myself just to walk outside to try and enjoy the day and pretend all is well at work, when I just sit at my desk and want to cry. I thought i was stronger than this.
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I just said a prayer for you and you are in my thoughts even though I don't know you. 😘
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I spoke to a pstient navigator yesterday and the rest of my day went so much better. She is also a survivor and it made me feel so much better to speak to someone who understood how I was feeling and who I didn't know (somehow speaking to someone I didn't know was better than speaking to a friend or family member). I have an appointment with two therapists next week and will see who I like better. Also walking an hour a day with my son. My pathology resulrs are in and I will find out my treatment plan on Monday. Hang in there. There are many of us going through this period of depression and hopelessness. Looking forward to feeling better again.
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Hope you are feeling better soon. I also decided today to start back exercising and eating better after I heal up from the second surgery and plan to get involved in a local foundation that does fundraisers for money that helps local cancer patients pay some of their expenses they incur due to cancer. I am determined to fight this depression. Hope you have an awesome treatment plan. I'm hoping to get a treatment plan soon too, my follow up is Wednesday and should find out if the margins are good enough and hopefully find out the oncotype results too to FINALLY get a treatment plan also. I will keep you in my prayers!
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Hugs to everyone here having a tough time.
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Loving, what you're going through is normal. Whatever stage it is, it's still cancer. My DH has the worst time of it because it's my second time, and because everyone he's known who got cancer – including his sweet mom, his uncle, and our brother-in-law – died of it, painfully. You are fortunate to have found this site, and there will come a time when you're on the other side of it. And you will say these words to another woman: you're not alone, and this is normal.0
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Teka- that is hilarious! Thank you!
I am heading north in awhile to spend three days at the hot springs. I have been hit by a bad cold this week that is having it's way with me. I find I am more often sick with a cold on my birthday than not, the change of time, winds, allergies, etc. do a number on me. It came on Tuesday, then I felt better on Wed, and then got much worse Thursday into yesterday. Doing better today. The hot springs has a steam room in addition to the pools. It will be a healing place for me, it always is.
Wishing everyone a nice Easter weekend!
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you made me laugh!! Lol!! Thanks!!!
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thanks a lot for the encouragement!!!
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Hugs back!
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Teka - thank you so much for thinking of me. Doctor tomorrow and scared. Your note helped a lot. Happy Easter.
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Wishing everyone here a beautiful Easter Sunday.
Loving and Joni- the whole thing is scary, but with the treatment plan, knowing what to expect does help. My recommendation for anyone going through treatment is to make your bedroom as comfortable as possible, as you may be spending a lot of time there. We have all been in the place you are in right now and know it is terrifying. We send you much love from the Hermits world.
Teka- at the hot springs and the cold continues to have it's way with me, but I do feel better today finally. Theraflu and other remedies are my constant companions. The hot springs and steam room are helping. I slept a good 10 hours last night.
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Loving and Joni welcome. This is a stressful time for you ,hope things go well. Stock up with some of your favorite things to do. Books, hobbies, binge on me Netflix (I also like acorn tv all British shows). Exercise does help and eat what makes you feel good, a little pampering goes a long way.
Jazzy hope you feel better , soaking in the hot springs sounds wonderful.
Teka happy Easter
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I'm scared too. I meet with doctor Wednesday and just waiting on call from medical oncologist to see if I need chemo. I will definitely be praying for you. At least I haven't cried yet today. I worked outside planting tomatoes and bell peppers , listened to my worship music since I didn't go to church and when I thought I was going to break down crying, I went walking down the road. Maybe if I do that every time I feel like crying, I will lose some of this weight! Lol!!!! Maybe we can support each other joni
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