The Hermit Club
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Happy Birthday Jazzygirl.... !!!!!!!
Many many more to come too....
wallan
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Thank you Teka and Wallen! Some fun planned later today!
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Enjoy!!!wallan
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Happy Birthday Jazzy!!!!!!
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Thank you Mommy!
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The happiest of birthdays to you, Jazzy!!!
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Thank you 6feet!
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Happy Birthday Jazzy. Hope your day was a special one.
People make me cringe when they say, "Oh well, no news is good news". Nope. No news is just that, no news.
Wallan sorry your wait has been so long.
I read along here and think of you all. Just don't comment much.
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Smurf- I agree with the cringe on that comment. I wish people would just zip it sometimes.
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I get the urge to give them a slap to be he back of the the head when I hear tha
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Happy April everyone!
Teka- you got a big surprise today with all that snow (and sounds like it is not done yet....)
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Right back atcha, Jazzy!
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Teka- thought you would appreciate this!
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hahahaha... love your posts.
Too bad about the snow down your way.
It is just finally starting to warm up here. I see the beginnings of tulips....
wallan
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Wallan- we are getting some nice soaking rain here today, behind on moisture so rainy days are always welcome. There is snow in other parts of the state though, especially further north and up in the mountains. I am having a lazy rainy day and enjoying some time on the couch with a good book.
How are you feeling after everything that went on post surgery? Getting stronger? Able to get plenty of rest?
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Hey Jazzygirl:
Always nice to have relaxing, rainy days. I love that too.
I am getting stronger. People I see are telling me I look better than I did last week (I don't quite know how to take that, but whatever).
I am driving now which is great!
My pain has died down quite a bit (the burning pain on TE side) although it flares up if I am up and about too long. But totally manageable with Tylenol. I have developed an odd pain on the fat grafting side though in one spot. I have never had pain like that before - it really hurts in certain positions and if I press on it. No lump or anything and is underneath the mastectomy scar near the rib.. I am trying to not go down the rabbit hole and think its from something sinister. It is too huge a coincidence to have this pain a few weeks after a surgical procedure and not have it be related to the surgery somehow. That is what I am telling myself. I will let the PS know on Tuesday when I go in for another fill.
wallan
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Wallen- good to hear you are doing better. I know for me personally, I was white as a ghost after my surgery so chances are people are seeing some color return to your face and perhaps that look of pain has diminished. All the way through my recovery, people would tell me how I kept looking better with time. Chances are you will hear that too. They are the witnesses to our healing process.
I did not have recon (double lumpectomy) but have heard other sisters here speaking of weird pains and sensations and always good to ask the PS if anything is normal or not? I remember finding a lump in my surgery area a couple weeks after surgery and freaked out, but it was a seroma. The nerves will be regenerating for awhile so lots of sensations that come and going. .But you need to be sure there is no infection either. Hopefully your PS can help you through any concerns friend.
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Teka, no snow here!!!! Mama Nature finally got back on her meds and gave us nice weather!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Great news Wallan - I still get strange sensations too even phantom nipple sensations even though it is supposed to not happen this far out.......
HAPPY UN BIRTHDAY Jazzy, sorry I missed the real day.........
Its my diagnosis versary tomorrow, trying to keep myself busy all day but really I stil feel a huge heavy weight in me and then I feel guilty as I think I should be feeling grateful and I am in a way but its not over for me yet as I feel so abnormal and everything reminds me of it, lying in bed I am not symmetrical, showering, getting dressed and having to stick a fake foob thing in a bra. I cannot have a bath as get too upset and feel too repelled, tried it once and it was so upsetting have never done it again, how pathetic is that after 5 years?
So I am around and trying to be supportive but struggling a lot, my back is really not good at present either........
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Lilly- thank you for the belated b-day wishes. I keep them pretty simple these days, went to the local museum to see a film exhibit on the actual day. I have gotten together with a few friends for a birthday meal (one yesterday as a matter of fact) and think I have one more get together to go before we call it done. There is something about making it to another year that feels pretty powerful at this point, given all that has gone on.
The cancerversaries can be overwhelming. The dates for my dx, breast surgery, start and end dates for rads, when I started the AIs, etc. ingrained in my brain. I remember them each year as well as any other major events in my life. I try to just acknowledge where I was this time back in the beginning. So hard then, a bit easier now. But we are just not the same people after everything.
You have had a particularly difficult time with some of the things you have shared. And I know you are trying to be grateful and that helps, but when you are struggling, it is sometimes not enough.
That being said, are you almost to five years sister? That is a huge milestone for any of us.
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Yes will be 5 years mutilation versary on May 2nd so I guess 5 years survival too.......but I should be living a normal life not feeling incomplete due to no reconstruction despite me fighting for it ever since before I was mutilated, and sorry but that is how I feel..........if there was no option for recon I think it would be easier but to know it is there and simply being denied / delayed for nothing other than a failure to give me my rights is tough to manage....I alternate betewen being angry, and depressed but fundamentally I just want to feel normal again - found out they took most of my pectoral muscle too, how come it took 5 years for me to find that out????? No wonder I am sunken above breast line on that side........
Sorry for pity party but I am sooooooo fed up with fighting and never seeming to get anywhere........have been trying to submit my official formal and legal complaint against them now for 7 weeks.....the system is even trying to block that but I will get it submitted and then they HAVE to respond by law, if not then I report the lack of response to the national Ombudsman - fun this eh???? And at the back of my mind is that if I recur they will use that as an excuse not to reconstruct....................
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Lilly- oh the pectoral muscle, that is awful. No wonder you are so compromised.
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Lilly55:
Hugs to you! How frustrating and aggravating about your medical access to info. I too had my pectoral muscle fascia removed on my first mastectomy and I have a divet too. But I was told this by the surgeon. Its appalling they didn't tell you.
I sure hope you won't need to fight as much as you think .. ombudsman.. good lord! I cannot imagine the stress of this. I would be pulling my hair out.
Congratulations though on 5 years! Yeah!! At least that is something.
wallan
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Hey ladies:
I am having my own pity party or mini meltdown this afternoon. I received a "package" from the cancer centre welcoming me and with all these forms to fill out and telling me what to expect at my first visit... yada yada yada.
My first visit is Wednesday. Anyways, the introductory letter had as a first sentence "we are sorry for this difficult time..." and this was enough to get my crying. It just reminds me I have friggin cancer... again. It was very nice to get this package I thought but it put the reality in my face.
sigh...
wallan
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Wallan- that would be very overwhelming to get in the mail. You are entitled in to have a meltdown. Will you be doing chemo starting this Wed?
I did not realize they removed the pec muscle anymore. I thought that was a surgical approach of the past. I guess not.
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Thanks Jazzygirl.... I needed the hug.
I am having my first consultation on Wednesday to see if Chemo is in the cards. It is likely according to my BS.
My pec muscle fascia was removed last time to get clean margins. I had a bad case of BC last time apparently. I'm lucky to still be here.
wallan
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Wallan- I remember you said you had no node involvement, but sometimes the type of cancer and genetics (oncotype) will indicate if more is needed. I pray you hear something good on Wednesday friend.
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Hi Jazzygirl:
Thanks. After the mastectomy, pathology found 5 tumors. Two were IDC 10 mm and 9.5 mm and three were ILC 3.0 mm. 1.1mm and 1.0 mm. Had clear margins on all. But BS said the cancer is "complex" and each foci can act independently of each other. So it depends on what the hormone status and her2 status are each for each one I guess. I was staged by pathologist at pTm 1b or stage 1. I will likely need radiation now too. They did book an appointment at the radiologist for Friday. Its a similar pattern to my last BC. I had multifocal disease then too. Am I freaked out? Yes.
wallan.
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Wallen- dang sister. I hope it is not HER 2, my sister had that one and longer treatment cycle with herceptin. Looks like you had rads and chemo last go around.
I can see by your dx summary it is indeed complex. All different kinds going on there. We will be in your pocket on Wednesday friend.
How are you feeling otherwise?
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Thanks Jazzygirl:
I am doing well otherwise. Energy is coming back from surgery. I have zings of pain now and then but otherwise pain free.
wallan
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