Team ILC Warriors
Comments
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Postscript to my previous post- he recommended melatonin and said I could take as much as 6 mg a night (I take three) because it has anti-cancer fighting properties. He also said that magnesium addresses hot flashes, although I take 1500 mg every night and I still have them occasionally (with effexor, too!).
I agree that not staring back at recurrence might be difficult, but I'm going to focus on the present as much as possible. I mostly feel empowered that I'm getting information from sources I trust and learning how to take care of myself as much as I can, physically emotionally spiritually and mentally. Proactive is powerful and empowering, as you all know.
Lily, you'll have to be Lilita, then.
I'm not insulted. I like this thread and group and would never allow myself to go there.I am kind of a gallows humor gal at times, and a bit of a wordsmith, and believe in using some words strongly and sometimes forcefully to take the sting out of their meaning. I hope we can still be, some of us, lobulitas...
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I am NOT defined by my cancer and have no intention of being! It is a condition I had that might recur but it is not me. Mind set is so important for me in this journey and I do not want the c word to be any part of my identity - if you look on the stage IV thread they recommend very strongly that no one refers to it as "my cancer".......
Lobulitas made me smile at first too but I am just not comfortable with it, we are all different, I don´t want to feel I have to justify why I am uncomfortable with it.......and I am very sensitive at the moment, not trying to upset anyone.
Chasing Dreams - Onc seem to vary in order of things - I started hormone therapy BEFORE rads but most don´t start people on it until afterwards. I think before is a good idea but I´m not a doctor. Bone scan is important before rads, anything else can be an MRI afterwards, again Oncs vary........given your and your Mum´s feelings I would ask for hormone treatment to start as soon as bone scan is done.........lobular does not often go to the bones though it prefers softer tissue areas.......
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Claire- thank you! Great info!
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Claire, thanks so much for sharing the information. I said I'd remind you
... did you discuss DIM to complement Tamoxifen, and do you recall what he said?Re not being defined by cancer ... I have a really hard time saying that I have breast cancer. Because I'm not really sure how true that is right now. There's a good chance that everything was removed surgically, and I'm almost finished with rads ... if they did their job, anything left over from surgically should be zapped away. Even at diagnosis, it made me feel better and more empowered to say "a mass was found in my breast that was cancerous." It helped me visualize it as a foreign object that didn't belong and that was going to be removed without delay!
Wishful thinking? Not entirely accurate? Maybe. But doesn't really make any difference, and it can't hurt for me to mentally reject it. (So long as I take tamoxifen, supplements, continue close monitoring, and live a healthy lifestyle.) I figure it would only be harmful thinking if I took it to the extreme and didn't get any treatment.
Right now I tell people that I'm undergoing treatment for breast cancer. I really can't commit to "I have breast cancer." I'm not judging anyone who can and does, nor do I consider myself any different than any of you sisters here. It's a game of semantics that helps me have some sense of control in this surreal situation.
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Gemini - SNAP!!!!
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Happy birthday Gail! I hope you're having a fantastic day! 😃
Claire, thank you for all the info! I was taking melatonin prior to diagnosis and my BS and MO said it's okay to continue with it. Maybe I'll up it to 6 mg when I start tamoxifen. I'm taking 3 right now. I read somewhere that it might interfere with radiation. Wish I could remember where. I will ask my RO about this on Thursday unless someone here has the answer.
Day 2 of radiation went well. They took a few more films today so it lasted a little longer than "normal" but they promised I'd be done quicker tomorrow. It seems like there isn't even time to meditate with rads. I really should take up yoga again. 😊
Hugs and ❤ to all! Have a peaceful evening.
~ Amy0 -
Thanks, Lily! -- is that a good snap, I hope?
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I'm not a huge fan of lobulitas either. I know it came from a humorous and good place, but it does feel a little like a label. Not offended in the least, however, I think I would rather be known as "cancerfreeita" .
Lily, I get extra sensitive around October. It's like a whole month of PMS for me with the pink stuff everywhere. Not a fan of pink!
There is no human way to stay positive all the time and not think of recurrence after a diagnosis of cancer. I think the key is not to dwell in it. Think it, feel it, leave it, and then move on and forward.
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Think it, feel it, leave it, and then move on and forward.
I love this, kar123! I like to say that I am relentlessly moving forward.
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Hello All
I was diagnosed Nov. 29, but didn't have a lumpectomy till Feb. It was originally scheduled in Jan, but had bronchitis and had to postpone. MO wanted to schedule chemo to start next week, but have a radio frequency procedure scheduled for severe back pain from herniated disc. So I start April 4. I feel like I've been in a hurry up and wait mode for so long that I'm actually anxious to get started.
I've been reading most of your posts and have to admit that I feel a little lost trying to keep everyone straight. I even have to refer to another site to look up your abbreviations. I can relate to some things said. Forgive me, I don't remember who said what. Some mentioned being empowered, and I agree with that. I have to be proactive at all times so I don't feel like a victim. I think this site will help with that because you all do sound like warriors.
For the most part, I have been handling this cancerous beast matter of factly without much real emotion surfacing. My family and friends tell me I'm "remarkable" and an "inspiration." But that embarrasses me because I don't agree. Those words probably apply to you too. I don't know why, but I am usually steadfast in the midst of crisis. Then, after things calm down its my turn to fall apart. I did fall apart one day last month when I found out my sentinal node dissection was positive. I mean, I went stark raving mad, an all out panic attack...with sobs and everything. Because they told me the tumor was small and slow-growing, I guess I wasn't expecting that result. At first, my husband totally fell apart...so I didn't. I consoled and reassured him, and I really felt ok. Then later I was reading an article listing the different stages and it hit me that Stage 1 could be changed to a higher one because of lymph node involvement and that sent me over the edge. Anyway, a NP at the UM Cancer Ctr talked to me for about an hour to calm me down and I was ok again. At my post-op appt. I asked my surgeon about it and he said he doesn't work with stages so I don't know what 1a, 1b, etc, means and if that's me or I've moved to II and I'm ok with that. I'm not a stage or a type. I'm a survivor.
I've probably posted way too much, esp. for the first time so I thank you for being here and listening to me.0 -
Hi Scottie! Welcome to the ILC warriors! I am really sorry you have to be here. This is an awesome group of women. They are so supportive and are in your pocket at all times! You are a survivor! You are among sisters.
I notice you mention U of M. Is that Ann Arbor by chance? That is where I am getting my treatment. Please PM me. My surgeon's NP is fantastic! Love, love, love her. Love everyone I've come into contact with.
Sending hugs to you and all my ILC sisters.
~ Amy0 -
Scottie,
I see you're from Canton. We're neighbors! :-)0 -
Welcome, Scottie! As Amy said, sorry you have to be here, but the boards here are full of strong, supportive women and great information.
I completely understand what you mean about handling things objectively. I think many of us, once we get through the initial shock, just want to look at the facts and get on with the steps we need to take to treat and heal from this disease. Of course there are bumps in the road when it's necessary to break down, cry, and perhaps even spend some time lying in bed. It's exhausting emotionally and physically.
I also sympathize with your embarrassment about being called "remarkable," etc. I get the same thing (we all probably do). I think people who haven't faced something like this are terrified at the prospect, and it must seem like we possess some heroic courage to be managing all the steps. When friends tell me how strong I am, my response to them is "you would do and feel exactly as I'm doing" -- and I sincerely believe that. I think we all rise to what needs to be done. And that also includes breaking down from time to time, which we can and must do in order to keep forging ahead.
Finally, you haven't said too much in your first post at all! I hope you continue to post here. Wishing you good healing for your back issue and strength as you start chemo.
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Hi Scottie wow been thru same experience herniated disc painfull for months then cancer invited itself of course we uninvited it but then there is the beginning of the fight 3rd chemo theatment coming up 13 more to go just don't feel like me already friends and family are my strength! Reading about some amazing woman on this site could always use more strength:)
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Scotty and Mair, Welcome. I dont know about the others but when I read the statements about amazing woman I agree, I just dont feel like one of them. I am in my life on a even keel at all times. This is where I let go... because they "get it". Such a blessing. Friends and family say "your strong", really if I wasnt would they say "your weak"? Seems silly but I am sure you will understand. If they all only knew what goes on inside my head at times.
I am sorry you had to come here but you will get lots of caring, love and support here.
xoxo
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Kar- I also hate the pink thing. Every time I see that dang pink ribbon I want to throw it on the ground and stomp on it!! Really anything pink needs to stay out of my way. I never liked pink and now it just burns me up!
I am a bit feisty tonight, maybe the rads got to me. I feel a bit on the edge. Have lumbar puncture on Friday to check for malignancy, its getting to me. I just know I am fine, but this damn disease. I am worried about another on the radiation boards, she had a PET scan today gets results on Friday, looking at lung mets.. she was also Stage 1 0 nodes. I am praying for her, no one should have to go though this no one. I am so scared for her, for all of you and for me. I think these rads are really affecting me emotionally.. I didnt take a xanax today I wont make that mistake tomorrow. Cant type without crying tonight, feel like our reality sucks! I am well aware thats the wrong attitude but its not fricken fair!!!
Ok, I am ranting.. but I am so glad i can do that here.
much love and prayers to all of you..
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Hi scottie
There is a good explanation of stages and grades on breastcancer.org - don't get too hung up on it though as it seems to only be indicative at the start many negativa node people have developed mets faster than those with positive nodes.....
You are in the right place for good advice and support0 -
Hi--not sure how to address our group now; ladies seems so formal--any suggestions? How about guerritas? It's "female warrior" (endearment) in Spanish.
Anyway, I felt similarly when during my early dx and tx people would say "you are so strong...one tough woman....wow, remarkable...brave...courageous..." too. It felt even more isolating to hear it since we don't normally talk to people that way.
I told them it doesn't take courage to save your life, it just takes wanting to live...
Scotty, welcome to our group. We are all in various stages of this experience and have lots of support to give you. Don't worry about keeping everyone straight on these boards. There are over 121,000+ of us signed up although a lot of women don't post regularly.
I didn't ask my NO about the DIM and tamoxifen thing because he is working up an entire supplement plan for me and we'll go over it in detail. I'll ask him then if he doesn't rx it!
Claire
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I am with the rest of you about being told I am all admirable and courageous. All I did was show up for treatment, and the alternative is not so great.
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I hear the "you're so brave" comment all the time and I always reply that I was drafted for this battle--I did not volunteer. Brave would be if I offered to take the cancer hit for someone else! The only choice I have through all this mess is my attitude towards it all, so I choose to have a positive attitude
And then I add, you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
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BTW, I have relatives in Michigan...for you Michiganers! My husband was born and raised in Detroit, my brother in law lives in Canton, and my sisters in law live in West Olive, MI, (north of Holland) on the shores of Lake Michigan! Going to visit all my in-laws end of May.
Claire
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Claire, how about mar-guerritas? 😉 LOL! In 2010, a group of us expat women from Egypt participated in the Real-Berlin marathon for breast cancer and we called ourselves the Nefer"titi"s. Maybe for now, warriors will suffice?
Hugs to all!0 -
Canton is next to me! Small world we live in. You'll have to let me know when you're in the area in May. Hopefully, the weather will warm up by then! It's frigid.
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Amy, your names are too funny
Love them!Livonia is where my best friend grew up... High school named Red Bridge or something like that?
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How about Bentley High?
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Okay, I"m mixing my high schools. Livonia was my friend's HS, my husband went to Redford.
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Livonia has Churchill, Stevenson, and Franklin High Schools. Bentley was closed a few years ago and our rec center now stands in its place. Redford is literally next door to Livonia. 😊
Have a great day! I'm off to play laser tag in a few minutes. Soon, I'll be 3/30!0 -
Funny about Michigan. My husband grew up in Battle Creek and still has family in Tecumseh and Ypsilanti (sp?). Another brother lives on the shore of Lake Superior in a town I can't remember the name of. My daughter is in the Coast Guard and is stationed in Traverse City.
We are planning a road trip this summer to visit all and will be in TC for the cherry festival.
Got a message from the ob/gyn to call as they have my results. Did, and now we are playing phone tag. Like it wasn't nerve wracking enough. Grrr....
Did get a good run in today and survived my first TRX class since the TE process began. Was great to be back at it, but the last 5 weeks of "rest" have done nothing for my fitness.0 -
Sending you good luck vibes on the results from the ob/gyn! Let us know.
I grew up in a small town on the shore of Lake Superior ~ L'Anse. 😊
3/30 rads are done! Woot! I'm on a roll people.
Hugs to all!0 -
Ten percent done.....!!
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