Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!
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Molly, I am so sorry. It sucks. Haven't lost the breast but losing the nipple was indeed hard. So, hubby and I have our long established sides of the bed, and the nipple I lost (right side) is the side closest to him when we are in bed. Which somehow made it harder....seems like it was always the first thing he reached for :-( I've actually considered trying to change sides of the bed, but I am very much a creature of habit.
Just saying that your feelings are very valid and it is a loss, even if it is a necessary one. As Peggy always reminds us, it is part of kicking cancer's butt!! Sending you big hugs today!!!
Octogirl
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Hugs Molly. The thing that helped me most is when my husband reminded me that sexy is in the mind. You are still you and your husband knows that.
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Sending positive vibes your way Molly. I can only imagine. I'm trying not to be too grateful my surgery will be fairly minor. Because I know my future is uncertain and the situation could change any time.
And I'm trying not freak out too much about the possibility of radiation making my breast smaller. I actually almost hope they do both because the left is already smaller. If it gets worse I will be noticeably lopsided.
Meanwhile a different kind of hurt. My step-sister from Scotland is visiting my dad and step-mom. My other step sister is close by. Family photo of them together at brunch this weekend. SM writes on Facebook "So blessed to have all my family here." I know we didn't become family until all three of us were adults. But dad and step-mom been married for more than 15 years. I'm an only child by birth. My mom is gone. My in-laws are gone. And I'm not a huge fan of my SIL or her husband. (although their daugther is fab) So my step family is pretty much all I've got. To not be considered part of the whole? Ouch.0 -
Outrunning, ouch that hurts. I would hope it was very much an unintended slight. Thank you ladies for the encouragment. I think part of the problem is my DH has not touched my breasts since my diagnosis. Oh well the one I am losing I can't feel anything anyway. I keep telling myself many, many women have come before me and have gotten through this and so will I!!
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Molly- you will get through this!!! But, your feelings are very valid. DH probably just being cautious from previous LX. Maybe talk to him at least then it is out in the open before umx.
Outrunning - I hope too the comment was unintentional but that would bug me too0 -
plumster is that you and your kids in your profile pic?
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Yes, that was the weekend I picked them up from summer camp
. Today was the first day of school 
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Hey Peggy....looks like I'll be doing Fosomax 1xweek. Is this what you are taking? Also suggested calcium but didn't give me an exact dose. Anyone taking calcium and if so how much? I thought I read years ago that calcium supplements didn't really work.
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Nash54, yes that's what I take. What I do (you do what you want) is take it first thing when i get up. Then I keep drinking water until I can eat breakfast - after 30 minutes. I try to have a really solid breakfast when I take it (huge bowl of oatmeal). And I don't take my other pills until after that 30 minutes. I don't do calcium so someone else will have to address that issue. I do take 3000 units of D3 and 400 mcg of Folic Acid since I refuse to stop drinking my wine! Just make sure to drink lots and lots of water. BTW, since it's only once a week, I have reminders set on all my electronic calendars (Outlook and Google) AND I place my water glass with the pill container in it on my dresser with my glasses straddling it so I won't forget.
Also, you may want to consider taking Pepcid, Zantac or Prilosec if you are prone to acid reflux. You'll do fine.HUGS!!!
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Hello Ladies, sorry I haven't been around the past several days. DH was sent to the hospital from the nursing home Sunday very dehydrated. He's been fighting a c. diff infection for nearly 4 weeks and finished 2 weeks of Flagyl 1-/2 weeks ago. Didn't get rid of it. He isn't very strong anyway. He was extremely listless for a few days prior to going to the hospital, too. So now I find out he has pneumonia (maybe he aspirated something), c.diff, dehydration (which is under control now), AND a really awful bedsore. I knew about the bedsore and it was being treated but it got REALLY bad. He has been in isolation and hasn't been out of bed in 4 weeks. With his Parkinson's he can't turnover in bed (and hasn't been able to in years).
So I've been spending a lot of time with him in the hospital. The nursing home and its house doctor don't use the hospital that DH and I do (which is 10 minutes away) so I'm travelling about 30 minutes each way. I have older pets so come home for lunch. Lots of road time. And I'm a bit weary. And extremely worried. DH doesn't really want to eat - chewing requires a lot of effort (again, thank you Parkinson's).
But I've been reading all the posts. I'm thinking about all of you and sending loads of positive vibes!
HUGS!!!
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Molly50, of course you're down! I'd be surprised if you weren't. I understand why you're concerned about DH's reactions but I think he'll come through just fine. Like others have said, do talk to him and tell him your worries. I know, easier said than done. But give it a try. While this may be TMI, it never came up with DH and me because I was so exhausted from caring for him that we had zero sex life prior to my surgery. So I can't really say how he would have reacted. Probably he'd have come through for me.
Keep thinking positive. You're KILLING CANCER and that's the most important thing - living cancer free! Keep telling yourself that!
HUGS!!!
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Peggy thanks for the info...so very sorry about DH. I was wondering why you'd been MIA. Prayers and hugs.
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Thanks, Nash. I've been coming home drained. And then I want to let the boys know what's going on and DH's brothers etc. And then I'm ready to call it a night
HUGS!!
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Gosh Peggy, so sorry you are going through this. How mentally and physically draining for you!!! I will send extra good thoughts your and DH's way!!!0
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Thanks, Plumster, Definitely need them!
HUGS!
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oh Peggy and Molly , my heart goes out to you (((Hugs)))! Peggy I'm sorry to hear about the turn of events with DH--I I can only imagine the physical and emotional cost! Keep us in your pockets!! And Molly-wow, Im sorry to hear whats been happening-and your Sx is coming up soon! Is there a counselor that your cancer center provides to help with marital issues that stem from BC?
Also, running,your SM...I do hope it was an oversight, but I can see how painful it was to see her fb post. Sometimes the best of families are so clueless. I hope things /communication will work ou! (((Hugs)))
I know Im missing a lot of people, and I also wanted to give updates on my tests, etc. but i've been struggling with this migraine since last night and I can barely keep my eyes open because the light is so annoying So its off to bed for me. But y'all are in my heart. Xoxo
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SweetMamaJ, I feel ya in my pocket - thanks! Hope your migraine goes away! That sucks.
HUGS!!
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Hugs to you, Peggy, and prayers for both of you. That's a tough journey. All that you are carrying, and yet you offer so much to others. May all that good will come back to you soon.
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Thanks, Horsegirl! Prayers appreciated. I'm glad I can help. This site has brought me many good friends and great support for both the BC and challenges associated with DH.
HUGS!!
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Peggy, just got on the board after a busy day myself, and am sending HUGS to you; you've done so much for so many of us! we all love you and have you in our pockets tonight!!! Sending prayers and good thoughts to DH.
Octogirl
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Octogirl, thank you! I feel all snuggled in (your pockets). DH and I appreciate the prayers and good thoughts. And I'm sending them back to you!
HUGS!
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Peggy, I ache for you. I know how fast things get out of control and even the best nursing homes are short staffed. Cdiff alone sucks but pneumonia and a pressure sore on top of that is a lot for both you and DH to deal with. I will be praying for him to be healed and for your energy and stamina. Thanks for responding to all of us.
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Sweetmamaj, thank you for the suggestion of counseling. I may check into it for myself but DH won't. I will be okay. I am just trying to process all these emotions and still function. He's such a good guy he just doesn't handle some things well.
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Thanks, Molly, I really do think that the nursing home was doing all the right things. They couldn't force him to sit in a chair. Maybe they could have turned him on his side more often but I gather bedsores go south real quickly. Poor DH was quite frail before all this. It helps being here. Thank you all.
HUGS!
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Peggy - Hugs to you! I'm sorry you've got all this with DH to deal with. I'm so glad he's got you looking out for him. I pray they can get him comfortable, eating and getting stronger. It sounds like you are doing a lot of running around. Take care of yourself too!
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Sadly Ringelle, I've spent a lot of time in hospitals for DH in the past 5 years. I have learned that, for me, it is vital that I go home for lunch and care for the pets. That break helps keep me sane. And I generally do not go back up after dinner unless there is a need. It was quite the revelation that I can't burn the candle from both ends anymore. Appreciate your good wishes. How are you feeling??
HUGS!!
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Another "Oh, Peggy! I only wish I could give you back a fraction of what you've given me in the short time we've known each other." Please keep us posted about your husband. Really. Please do.
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Queen, I'm glad that I've been able to help you. Your kind words make me feel very good - thank you! I will keep you all posted on DH's condition. I feel a whole lot of loving arms surrounding me and DH.
HUGS!
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A village of loving arms...nay, a forest of them.
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Molly for what it's worth DH never touched my bad girl until I expressly said it would not hurt me, so maybe that kind of comment could start the conversation. Never easy these things. Prayers to you.
Peggy, my prayers are with you also. Keep doing what you are doing to care for yourself during this additional stress.
Out running that comment would have hurt me too. Probably a thoughtless slight but still painful.
We are on vacation in Cape May and while shopping in a lingerie shop tonight I got strangely emotional when talking to the clerk about a particular bra. Unexpected but normal I guess.
I know I missed some folks, but I think of you all and pray for you often.
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