Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!
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B"H
this group REALLY is amazing.... my DH and one of my married children & their family took me to the sea yesterday - it was so great to just get away and have some peace by the sea to be thankful for getting past the lumpectomy and trying to contemplate the next "stage".....
everyone here is so super caring and well-informed! i have been getting some professional second opinions about what my treatment should now be - and believe me all you seem much more educated and of sound advice than the percentage-giving maybe yes-maybe no opinions i have received from senior oncologists.
i want to thank EVERYONE for all the support and info.
hope everone is doing well with what they are going throu - in a bit of a rush but wanted to wish PEGGY much like on her date - just have a good time, hopefully it will lead to something really significant - but for the first date just enjoy being out and treated sweetly .....
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ThereIsNoDespair, glad we've all been able to help you. And how nice that you got to the sea. Sounds wonderful! I'm hoping to make a friend if nothing else. I'm not looking for a husband more of a companion. We'll see!
HUGS!
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I have a question for my bc expert ladies... I know several of you mentioned that you got cording after your lx. Can cording occur at any time, or only shortly after surgery? What is the treatment for it? I've heard a couple mention massage.
Thanks for the help. Love you all.
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I had cording about 4 months after surgery. I went online ans did the stretching exercises, and I haven't had it since then. I do yoga now for stretching.
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My first date is under my belt now. It went nicely. Yes he was a widower but he re-married and is in the process of divorcing (which will be very messy). We met at a nice bar and had pizza for lunch. When looking at his profile photos I noticed that he had an old car - a '32 Chevy. He drove to our date which I really appreciated since he knew I love old cars. We weren't really compatible in the things we like to do but we found enough to talk about. I suspect there won't be another date. But at least I have a new acquaintance. No chaperoning was necessary at all! No gory details to tell since there wasn't anything "gory" going on
Thank you all for your support. Now I know that I can do dating and not faint from stress!HUGS!
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Sorry it didn’t work out (and you really don’t want to wait in the wings for a bitter divorce to finalize). But you got through it just fine, had a nice time, and there are other fish in the sea (and you dipped your toe into the water and didn’t get bitten). Remember, back in our younger dating days, we didn’t start out looking for “the one” either.
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Hello and hugs for everyone. I have not had the time to check in on this site in 3 weeks. (Work has been crazy busy.) I thought that I would just wish everyone well. (I am now going to go back and read 18 pages of posts.) I'll get back into the swing of things after I catch up with all of you.
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Sandy, I didn't think it would work out but thought it was worth a shot anyway. And you're right - I didn't get bitten. But when I was younger, I was always looking for the one and I never dated more than one guy at a time and generally for a considerable amount of time. I never conquered the knack of dating several guys at once. I would guess you did! I have another possible guy to meet tomorrow at the street rod show and I'm looking forward to that! Thank you for the kind words!
HUGS!
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614, considering how short and crazy your summer was, I'm not surprised that you are overwhelmingly busy now that school has started. Have fun reading and catching up!
HUGS!
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Except for a couple of times, I was actually a “serial dater,” but “went steady” only 4 times (never getting “pinned”). Fourth time was the charm, though. I didn’t date until I was 15-1/2 (summer before sr. yr. in HS), and let’s just say I wore bright white on my wedding day (I was 20). Sure was a different era!
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Sandy, I started dating the summer before 10th grade. No comment on the white wedding gown. I also was 20 when I married. No drinking at our reception! Worked out just fine. BTW, pinning could not happen at my university since not only did we not have fraternities or sororities (now it does) but we didn't have intercollegiate sports. But that was where I met DH. (Oakland University, Rochester, MI).
HUGS!
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Peggy - so glad you had your "first" date ... ice breaker for sure - and that's important... and now tomorrow you have another date... woohoo... don't forget to let us know how it goes..
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Dara, I didn't have cording so can't help
IAmNancy, not exactly a date tomorrow but should be fun. It's not as scary now!
HUGS!
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Dara, Not sure on the timing of cording, but I would guess it is possible to get it later. I had mine probably about two weeks after surgery. It does actually feel like a cord running down your arm and it limits your range of motion, mine went all the way down my arm to my wrist. I went to a Physical Therapist who gave me stretching exercises and massaged it, not in a good way. She said it was the most stubborn cord she had worked on but it eventually completely broke down. Sometimes, you could actually here it pop. It hasn't returned since, I was a bit paranoid that it meant I was more susceptible to get Lymphedema but I haven't had a problem so far though I understand the risk for LE is lifelong, sigh. Good Luck, MJ
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Congratulations on making it through your first date, Peggy! Now that that's out of the way, future dates shouldn't so stressful, although you didn't have much time to get stressed as it happened so fast! We're all very excited for you meeting new people and having some fun, which you sure deserve, and look forward to hearing more!!
Dara, I've never had cording either so can't speak to that, but I've seen posts about it so I'm sure people will pipe up about it soon.
I also wanted to comment on the Oncotype score of zero someone mentioned earlier! I didn't even know that was possible - wow!
I was reading a novel today during my Zometa infusion ("The Choices We Make") and in it one of the characters was baking an old-fashioned upside down pineapple cake and I became obsessed so when I got home, I asked my husband to pick up the ingredients for it when he went grocery shopping - it's baking away in my oven as I type! I figure I shouldn't drink wine this weekend since I need to stay really hydrated - so I'll eat cake. I don't even like cake. And I don't bake. My kids are really wondering what they put in my vein today to suddenly turn me into this person. haha
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Welcome back 614!
Sloan and MS, thanks for the tips about cording. I'm not sure I have it, just was having tight pulling sensation from armpit and then I can feel like a thin cord. It's only about 8" so doesn't go all the way down my arm. I'll do some of the stretching exercises and see if I can get it to go away.
Grazy, I've really been thinking that having cancer is somewhat like being pregnant! I've had some of the strangest cravings! I used to make homemade pineapple upside down cakes when I was first married. I received a big red, 3-ring Betty Crocker cookbook for a wedding gift (still have it 45 years later!) and the recipe was in that. Sounds yummy now and I haven't made one in about 30 years!
Peggy. I think you should look at this adventure as not even dating, just getting out, having fun, enjoying some championship, and just having new experiences... they just happen to be with people of the opposite sex (or not!) Have fun and just enjoy life!
Well, my hair is pretty much coming out by the handfuls. I think the clipper time is quickly approaching. People keep saying they're sorry, but I just look at it that the meds are working!
Today went to see the kids movie Pete's Dragon with my two grandsons. I loved it and recommend it if you have younger kids or grandkids.
Not much to contribute with dating... I met my husband when I was 18 and have been with him since then, and wouldn't change a day for anything. I got very lucky!
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Geez, I don't log in for a few days and I'm five pages behind! And Peggy has started dating!
Dara, you are absolutely right. Chemo is just like pregnancy. There's the queasiness, the swollen ankles, and you just never know what bizarre thing your body is going to do next. The good thing is that half of the awful things that people tell you to expect don't happen.
It's been an emotionally exhausting couple of weeks. Last week my mother came to visit and got caught in the great Delta airlines debacle. After many rescheduled flights she arrived a day late, and almost spent the night in Atlanta. She was re-routed to Boston, and we drove down to get her at midnight. While her luggage went to Detroit. All the delay meant that her trip to DC with my son had to be re-scheduled. Just when things were looking like smooth sailing, Baton Rouge started to flood. We've been able to confirm that her new place where she moved in July is dry, but I'm a bit concerned about the storage place where she stashed everything in anticipation of a fall estate sale. She's off visiting a friend in Maine right now, so may have not thought of this. So many of my friends from high school and their families were flooded out of their homes and have begun trashing out all of their saturated belongings. It's heartbreaking to see.
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Dara, you have the same attitude towards chemo that my daughter-in-law had - whatever as long as it kills the CANCER! I'm sorry your hair is coming out but you are right, it does show that it is working. My Betty Crocker cookbook bit the dust in the move. I also had the red & white Better Homes & Gardens cookbook but didn't it use it much.
I am looking at the dating (now that the first one has been survived) as an adventure. Much easier when you are looking for companionship rather than marriage, I suspect.
Grazy that's funny that you had that craving and even followed through! Hope it was good. By Sunday maybe you'll be able to indulge in that bottle of wine! Hope you don't have any SEs! Thanks for the encouragement!
HUGS!!
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Peachy, glad you mother finally made it. That was terrible about the Delta mess. Whew that your mother's new home is dry. I would guess there's no way for you to find out if her stored stuff is okay. That's so tragic. I can't begin to imagine coping with all that rain and a ruined house and life. Flood insurance is so expensive, too. Hope you friends have it. Yup, I'm dating! At least I've seen a man. I think date is rather more than what it was but there aren't many good terms to cover the situation. It was nice getting out.
HUGS!
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Dara, that is cording. Mine came on right after Thanksgiving, a week after I finished rads. I was reaching up in the shower for the nylon scrubbing puff to put bath gel on it when I felt a sharp “catching” soreness in my inner forearm as I stretched and torqued. It continued for days, so I called to make the first appointment I could get with Dr. Joseph Larry Feldman (the “Lymph Whisperer”), who helped found LANA and set training and accreditation standards for LE therapists. The day before our mid-Dec. Mediterranean cruise, I was once again showering and reaching for the sprayer, and--POP! No more catching. Two days later there was a tiny bruise in the exact spot where I felt the catching. No more cording episodes during the cruise, though I did have some upper arm tightness up in the Sicilian hills near Mt. Etna, and a little finger swelling on the flight from Amsterdam-Detroit (later found out it because the gauntlet didn’t come far enough up my knuckles). Dr. Feldman measured me and declared that normally he’d have denied I had LE but because I described symptoms, he was calling it Stage 0 so Medicare would pay for therapy sessions. During the course of my therapy, my PT could actually see a cord in my armpit (usually only normal-to-slim women get cording) and she massaged it and stretched my breast (using a rubber pad called a Dycem) till it popped. It sometimes recurs, so I do stretches when it does.
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Peachy, I'll sure think positive things for your mom's storage unit. I watch the news and my heart just goes out to everyone. When we moved to this house 2 years ago, we gutted the entire place, right down to the studs. We lived with my sister while she was going through chemo and commuted back and forth until our house was renovated. We moved in and 3 weeks later, a 100 yr storm hit and completed flooded our master bedroom and bath. I'd just had a knee replacement and was trying to mop up hard wood floors etc. Needless to say, everything go ripped out, floors and drywall, and we started back over again. And of course we didn't have flood insurance. They did actually give us flood insurance after that but I was worried they wouldn't. I think of the people there and just wonder how long it will take for the water to totally subside.
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The flooding is heartbreaking. This is the parents of one of my best friends being evacuated from their house by boat on Sunday. That morning their back yard was dry and they thought they'd have no problems. (Fortunately her brother was in town to help - he took the picture.) They've lived in the house, which you can see in the background,since '75 and have been through many hurricanes with no problem. Her mom has been living with metastatic breast cancer for four years, and is my hero. Her treatment has been very effective, but her white cell count is low so she couldn't go back to the house to clean out with the guys. The water was about a foot deep, so almost all of their furniture was trashed.
I have heard from too many friends "We are fine, but my sister/brother/mother lost everything."
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Oh Dara, how awful about your rehab! Thank you for the good thoughts. Most of the water in Baton Rouge has cleared, though I have a friend in one of the towns further out who still has two feet of water in his house. And it's gone down.
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MJS, thank you for your description of cording. I have heard the word tossed around but didn't really know what it was. Imagine my surprise when I read your post--I could have written it myself! I just didn't know to call what I was experiencing. So I looked up cording and it took me to Axillary Web Syndrome, here on BCO. It explained it so well and I have had every single symptom.
I didn't realize that this had a name or was even a "thing", so I never went to the doctor for it. But I have a great massage therapist, so I had her take a look at in in June. She didn't call it cording or AWS, but she could tell that the whole cord was tight--it goes from my chest to my wrist; you can see it from across the room! She recommended myofascial release. First she worked at the rib cage--I was having terrible pain in my right ribs and upper right chest. After the first session, I realized that the rib cage was pain free (and it was like a miracle!) The second session, she just worked on my upper chest, right shoulder, and right upper arm. I have been seeing her for 90-min sessions about every 1-2 weeks all summer to work on my chest, shoulder, and all the way down my arm to the wrist. I realized about 3-4 days ago that I no longer have pain when I reach over my head or behind me. I have full range of motion and I'm no longer waking up in pain at night. I had never really thought much about myofascial release before, but I'm telling you, it's been an answer to prayer. I'm going again tomorrow and I'm thinking it might be my last session. Which might be a good thing, since I'm paying out of pocket for this.
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I finally go in to see a neurologist about my hands and feet falling asleep. The hands fall asleep every night and wake me up with pins & needles. My hands also fall asleep every time I drive, sometimes just the outside, sometimes just the inside, sometimes the whole hands. The feet fall asleep less often, but I have had them fall asleep randomly while sleeping, sitting in a tub, working on my computer, and while watching TV. The neurologist is pretty sure it's due to having had Taxotere. He thinks it will eventually get better, but he wants to do a nerve conduction study because the thinks I'm having carpel tunnel syndrome. I also had him look at the large area of numbness on my left thigh, the one that started the day after surgery, the one the BS and the PS swear couldn't have happened during surgery. Yeah, if you think I buy that, I've got a bit of swamp-land for ya...the neurologist agrees. Most likely someone either strapped my down too tight or leaned on my upper leg long enough to damage the nerve and the rest is history. He says it will also get better... eventually.
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Peggy glad you have the first one under your belt! I also think it's an adventure! I did not get married until I was 27 so I had many dating adventures so good and some downright horrible! The really bad ones made the best stories though!:)
Peachy positive thoughts for your mom and all of the people affected by the flooding how heartbreaking!!
Dara you now have me thinking about pineapple upside down cake!! Can't remember the last time I had it but now it's in my head!
Poodles I hope the feeling returns soon. You have been through the mill!
Hello and Happy weekend to everyone
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Peggy, I'm really impressed that you have the courage to start dating again. I've thought about how I would approach that when the time comes. I dated a lot in college--I never had less than 2 boyfriends at the same time (don't worry, I wasn't sleeping with any of them!) Back then, I had NO interest in finding "the one." I just wanted to have a good time and I certainly achieved that goal! I met DH one summer in college and we became friends. We didn't start dating until 2-1/2 years later and then it was like magic! We were engaged for 2-1/2 years and got married a few weeks before college graduation. I made a lovely little wedding gown with a lightweight creamy ivory fabric--my mother hated it because it wasn't white. She was worried that people would think I wasn't a virgin (sorry mom! that ship had sailed!) This was in 1981, so it wasn't exactly the 19th century. Although, I'm pretty sure people were having sex in the 19th century...
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Big difference between 1981 and 1971--a year earlier, there was a huge scandal at Columbia University when a male and female undergrad were discovered to be living together off-campus, without being married. Don’t recall if they were expelled or suspended.
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Poodles, When I had considered what I would do if I were ever single, marriage always seemed to be part of the scenario. Now I'm not so sure. I'm not sure I even want to live with anyone. I'm enjoying my independence and I don't mind living alone at all. Not to say I wouldn't sleep with someone but living together? Not that I can foresee.
I'm older than most of you and back when I was in college (graduated in 66) we certainly slept together and drank but really only musicians or other "loose" people lived together without marriage. But we had what passed for coed dorms - separate wings, not men and women living next door to each other. It wasn't long after that things changed. I'm 6 months too old to be considered a baby boomer. It's fascinating to see the huge changes in relationships over the past 50 years.
BTW, Poodles, I know, people were having sex (and not necessarily within a marriage) in the early 1900s because my grandfather had a "social disease" and he didn't get it from my grandmother (nor did he give it to her). There - I've open the closet and the skeleton tumbled out!
HUGS!
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Pineapple upside down cake for breakfast - yum! Maybe this will inspire some of you to bring out your old recipe books!
I'm one of the lucky ones as far as the Zometa infusion goes - it turned out to be much ado about nothing. I can't believe what went into planning and setting aside a summer weekend to be "sick"; my MO had me all worried. Now I have the gift of a weekend with no obligations. I'm just going to #EatCake
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