Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!
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Poodles, so sorry that your mother's condition didn't seem to be improving. Sending prayers.
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Great idea, Peggy. I would have never thought of taking my mother in action. I'll have my sister's get on that today.
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Poodles-SO sorry about your mother. Peggy does have a great idea about taping her talking for awhile so the docs can get a better perspective of her current cognitive functioning. Sending hugs to you!
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Poodles: sympathy from me--others have come up with concrete suggestions. Confused relatives, whatever the cause, is a right bleep to deal with, especially when they present well to the doctors. (Alzheimer's runs in my husband's family, stroke in mine.)
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Poodles, at least in California, if you file for Conservatorship or Guardianship, part of the process would be an independent home assessment. It is likely that your Mother wouldn't be able to hold it together for that. And the bills would be evidence as well. I don't think it would be just the doctora' word against yours, but the doctors' assessment is a part of it, so I agree that the taping is a good idea. Unfortunately (because it will cost money) seeing a lawyer would probably be a good idea as well.
I am sorry you are going through this. It sucks.
Octogirl
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fortunately, there are 5 of us to share the load. Us your girls are then my it hands to help my mother. My brother is not much of a nurturer, but he always has an open wallet.
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Poodles, I remember the frustration my parents felt with my grandmother back in the late 70s and early 80s about her cardiologist. She also presented very well and her cardiologist wouldn't listen to a thing my parents said. It was not good. Lots of good ideas here for you. A lawyer is probably a very wise idea. Hopefully you can quickly get control of your mother's life so she is not a threat to herself and others (i.e. driving).
HUGS!
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Poodles, sorry you are having to go through this with your mother.. prayers for you and your family..
my brother came back home a couple of days ago and immediately fell and hurt his arm.. my grand niece has stayed with him the last two nights, but she has school to go back to and he won't have that extra help.. they told him he couldn't live on his own, but he's persistent and stubborn.. so I expect him to go back to the hospital soon and go through all this again... it's frustrating to see family going through things like this and not be able to do much about it
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Judy, that rotten that your brother was sent home essentially alone when you know that he can't be on his own. Too bad no one will listen to you when you tell them he needs to be in a care setting. Hope that can happen soon before he gets really hurt.
HUGS!
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Hi lumpies,
Poodles, so sorry about your mom. Some of her confusion may simply come from being in the hospital. Have they done any CT scans or MRI to check her brain? Welcome Vargadoll.
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Today is DHs 60th birthday. We barely made it to church because it took us 40min to scrape 1/2" of rock-hard ice off all the windows. What a mess. But most of the roads are pretty good. We ate some BBQ, then went to see "Sing" at the movies. What a fun movie! Y'all should go!
All humor aside, today is more than just a major milestone. It's a miracle. DH has been disabled with heart and severe lung disease since 2001. He has nearly died 4 times. Back in 2003 his lung doctor told me his life expectancy was no more than 8 years. Well, here he is 15 years later. He's still pretty sick and theres a lot he cant do, but he has managed to stay out of the hospital for 2 years, quite the feat for him.
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Poodles, Happy Birthday to your DH! That is pretty darned amazing that he has proved the doctors wrong for such a long time. I'm glad! Ice on cars is crappy hard to get off. 40 minutes isn't bad. Glad the roads are decent. Hope the rest of the day is happy!
HUGS!
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Poodles, goodness gracious!!!!! Seems like the obstacles in life never end!!
Hugs to all!!!!!! I have a question for you all. When do you celebrate your cancerversary? When do you count a year of being cancer free? The date of your surgery, finishing rads, follow up mammogram? I'm curious to see what everyone thinks?
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LG, I've tried to figure that out, too. I think I'll celebrate my cancerversary on my surgery date. For one thing it's easy to remember since it was my parents' wedding anniversary and that's the day the docs got rid of my BC. I'd be interested in everyone's take on this.
HUGS!
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Idecided my cancerversary is my lx date since most of the cancer was removed on that date. Poodles, happy birthday to your DH. He sounds like my Wyatt, just outlives all the medical predictions.
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I date mine to day of dx. You “survive" starting as soon as you know you have cancer, IMHO, not just as soon as it's cut out or finish all initial adjuvant treatment.
Poodles, prayers for your mom's recovery; failing that, for successfully being able to manage her and protect her finances & safety.
My problem is minor: a leaking toilet tank bolt & fill valve caused a kitchen ceiling leak. Toilet tank temporarily addressed (shutting off the fill valve & then flushing it didn't completely empty out the tank) but may at the least lose the use of my kitchen for a while and at the least, my house—we have some old ceiling leaks that long ago dried up, and at a minimum we'd need to stay in other rooms till they're fixed & repainted. And at worst, if there's mold, we'll have to move us and our cats (or board them out) to a condo somewhere till the mold is remediated. Might mean tearing all the walls down to the studs. But if we're ever gonna be able to sell this place, we'll have to do major repairs at least and a full gut rehab at worst.
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Sandy, interesting how you date your anniversary. Obviously, there is no right or wrong here. And yuck on your toilet leak and ceiling mess. 5 years ago we had a water pipe break on our 2nd floor at Thanksgiving. All the through the first floor to the basement. We were out of the house for over 2 months. It was not fun. A lot of togetherness since I was caring for DH at that time and not working. We also had a whole lot of work done too with an eye on selling the house - remove wallpaper and repaint walls that weren't affected by the water. it was worth it in the end. But I'd rather not do that again. Good luck.
HUGS!
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I date mine date of final surgery. All other subsequent tx were preventative.
Poodles, Happy birthday to your DH.
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Never really thought of a cancer-versery happy, happy to all who do!
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I never thought about a cancer-versary either. I guess when I think about it, I would choose the day I found out. We were on vacation in D.C. when my ultrasound report came in my email while we were eating lunch in the basement of the Capitol building. I didn't understand it so I started googling the phrases...hypoechoic...BIRADS 5...LVI...I looked at my DH and said, "I think I have cancer." He looked at me and in all seriousness said, "I guess we need some cheesecake then." LOL. It struck me as pretty funny then, and supportive--he knows my love language. Of course, we had our tears and sighs, but we both determined that we were NOT going to let the prospect of cancer ruin an otherwise wonderful vacation.
When we returned home I had my biopsy that Monday. On Wed, around 8am, my PCP called and I knew when I picked up the phone that it was bad news. She tried to ease into it, but I could tell she was upset. So, I let her off the hook. I told her that I has figured it out from the ultrasound report and she seemed so relieved (she's much younger than I am and I know this kind of call must be so difficult for her.)
So, July 19, 2015, would be my cancer-versary.
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Positive2strong, here's a brief summary of my treatment after having my surgery and getting my Oncoscore: When I discussed chemo with my MO, she wouldn't actually commit to telling me to have it or not have it, but it was obvious she didn't think I needed it, so I said I'd skip it. Within a week of starting radiation, I had figured out through reading, etc, that most MOs would recommend chemo with my Onco score. I immediately told my RO I wanted to have chemo. He said it was not a problem to have chemo after I finished radiation. But when I finished rads in early April and met with my MO, she insisted that I get a second opinion before she would give me chemo. Then her office didn't send the paperwork to the right place, which delayed my second opinion by several weeks. When I finally saw the expert at UCSF, he agreed with me that I would get a substantial reduction in risk of recurrence by having the chemo. My MO said that studies have shown benefit from chemo even 6 months post surgery. In my case I squeaked under the wire at 5 months and started in June. My surgery was in January. The only chemo drug they advised against after radiation was adriamycin, which I didn't need anyway.
Chemo made me more tired than usual and I had to stop and catch my breath on hills when I went hiking. But I did hike once a week and kept up my weight training throughout chemo. I did not get Neulasta (MO would not approve it for me), but I never got an infection. Chemo affects each person differently. It's no party but as others have said, it's doable. I found I was able to do all the same stuff, just at a slower speed. Now that my hair is coming back, I'm pleasantly surprised that it is thicker than before. I will definitely keep it short!
Poodles, I'm so sorry to hear about the decline of your mother. It's good there are so many siblings willing to help out.
I use Sandy's cancerversary method - date of dx.
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I don't give too much thought to a cancerversary date, but i guess if pressed I would say mid-July when I had the lx. Funny thing is, I can't remember the exact date...blanked it out? maybe it will show up on my signature when I finish this post...
Hugs to all
Octogirl
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Yep, July 16th. Probably will continue to just think of it as mid-July...
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Hi I had a lumpectomy 17 days ago. I am disappointed that the recommended pain regime is not working enough for me to do my daily exercises effectively! 2 panadol 500 and 2 nurofen 200 are not killing the pain, tenderness, pulling and stinging! All the lymph glands were removed as well as a nipple relocated. They did a good job cosmetically for the Public system. Any ideas for pain management welcome. 5 months chemo is starting soon and then radiation! Thank you. XOX
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Peppy321, Welcome. I'm sorry that you're so miserable. You are still very early in your recovery. Remember, this is major surgery. The nerves have been disturbed and are trying to heal. Plus things have been "re-arranged" and that can be uncomfortable. Don't rush getting back to your normal routine. Please let your body heal.
You had ALL your lymph nodes removed on the "bad" side? Most of us have 1-5 lymph nodes removed with a lumpectomy, not 20 or more. It is not surprising that you are tender and having pulling and stinging. Have you called your surgeon and told him that you are in pain? If not, please do. Your pain should be under control.
Please fill out your profile and make it PUBLIC (each item) via Settings. It helps us understand your diagnosis and treatments so we can help you. I would guess you are in the UK. We'd also like to know that, too.
Do keep us posted on how you are doing - we care and want to help!
HUGS!
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Judy...sorry about your brother ...it's like here you go again & your helpless...will pray!
Poodles...Happy Birthday to DH your miracle man! Scrapping ice sounds no fun...I won't complain about my rain one bit. My DH tookour granddaughter Rylee to see Sing yesterday...he loved it and was repeating the lines...can you believe I wasn't invited..lol
LG...I was just thinking the same thing as I prepared my 2017 calendar. It seems some will celebrate dx day and some lx day!! I will go with surgery date since that was when they got it.
Peppy321....Welcome..sorry about your pain but you had a lot done. I would most definitely call BS.
I have a question girls...I have had cramping since Friday and it is tender like back in the day when I had a period. Do you think I should just wait and tell RO on Thursday or call regular doc?
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After decades of clear mammograms, I got a message in my patient portal one August morning that the previous day’s routine mammo showed a “focal asymmetry not present on prior mammograms.” I got a sinking feeling, Googled the term, and confirmed my suspicions. I went from “I might have cancer” to, after the diagnostic mammo & ultrasound and scheduling the biopsy, “I probably have cancer.” And when I saw on the ultrasound screen during the biopsy that the mass looked more irregular than at the diagnostic ultrasound, I thought, “Yup, it’s cancer. Only question is what kind, and when I’ll find out.” I’d been reading so much about the recent papers suggesting DCIS might be overtreated that I assumed if it wasn’t benign, it was DCIS. When I got the phone call the following night and heard the words “invasive ductal carcinoma, grade 2,” that knocked the wind right out of me. Got the hormone-receptor status the next morning from my GYN, and she was very reassuring. W/in a week thereafter, I’d seen my surgeon, picked a lumpectomy date (and pulled some strings to get it) and an MO. From biopsy to surgery was two weeks and a day!
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Dear All,
I am trying to keep up with reading most of the posts.
I hope you all strength to handle all life dishes out.
Just to be frivolous like life used to be.....last night the club we always go to on Sunday night was rented out to Jimmy Fallen, so no Sunday night get away for us. My husband feels I should get out and do stuff.
Maybe I should,but it is hard. Sometimes DH can just be just like before and he probably is right oh my goodness I hope at some point I can give support and find some understanding to all of this.
Love to all of you that are taking care of others also. You are amazing women.
PS, ChiSandy, I also have 2 spots in my roof that leak, had a new roof put on and leaked same place as before.
Big problem with roofer. I too should get roof fixed and also redo wall, replaster etc again.
I am sure there is mold and yes I just called to have terminix access skunks living in our crawl space.
On a positive note, my DH and I fixed a clogged kitchen drain. So yes I had a big mess no dishwasher, no sink and no washer. But all that got fixed.
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Positive, sounds like your plate is rather full with house things. Ugh. Hope they magically get fixed.
HUGS!
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Positive, over a decade ago a mama raccoon climbed from a tree branch to our gutter, pried open an aluminum soffit and climbed into our upstairs home office ceiling to gestate and then give birth. We discovered the raccoon when she burst through some Masonite ceiling tiles and fell on to our eMac. Our kitties (no wussy pussycats they) streaked past me, terrified. I walked in and saw this giant raccoon hanging by her front paws on the mullion of a missing pane of a glass door; at the sight of me, she streaked back up into the ceiling. We had the exterminator come out with a Havaheart trap which he baited with peanut butter. We checked the trap and had to replace the bait daily. We ended up calling an “urban trapper" who hauled out the trap only to find the bait still intact. So mama raccoon had flown the coop (to mix metaphors), but left four babies behind in the wall of our closet. The trapper cut the wall open and fished them out. I asked if he was going to take them to a forest preserve. He replied that if we lived in a suburb he could; but Chicago ordinance requires either euthanasia or release outdoors on to the homeowner's property. They were so tiny and defenseless they would never have survived in my backyard, and certainly would have been prey for other animals (certainly our cats were the babies to get back inside) or crawled into cars' engines. So with heavy heart, we opted for euthanasia….and repaired the soffit.
Some weeks after that, I walked into the office to see a squirrel standing atop the books on the shelf below the awning windows, one of which was open. He looked at me as if to say “What're you lookin' at?" and then ran out the window, which I quickly shut. We called a tree surgeon, who cut back those branches, and there have been no further episodes of “Wild Kingdom Edgewater" chez nous.
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