new and future flat sister, with questions
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Wren in the bag and hoping for good results for you !!!
Oh GrammaB I feel awful for you !!!! You have been through enough crap !!!! Are there no teenagers that could come and shovel for you ? (don't slap me for that remark )
Bobo today I made peach yogurt this will be a new addiction. GrammaB I got the vitamix professional 750 model . My DH researched and believed that would be easiest for me . He ordered it from the vitamix.com site . BUT they sell reconditioned ones on the site with 5 year warranty. My girlfriend bought the same model but reconditioned for ALOT less than my DH paid.
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Birdie, I am in the bag! It sounds like all of my ladies do very good work. It just makes me prouder and prouder.
Fiaranch, make it with frozen bananas too! Excellent way to use up bananas. Did you know how to clean the V? Just two cups water, whoosh it on high for a few seconds, and rinse. I love that part.
PRB, not only can you make peanut butter yogurt (or choc peanut butter), but you can make actual peanut butter (or cashew, or almond). In seconds. And you can get organic nuts. And you can make soy milk (or almond), but I haven't yet. I just made homemade applesauce in the V for the children's dinner. Raw applesauce. With bruised organic apples.
PRB, I'm with the others. One rad doesn't seem like it will delay sx. And take that Xanax! Worry is natural. Cleaning is good. You will run around and get everything ready for yourself. We all do that. And we will all be with you every step of the way.
W boy likes his new school, sort of. They are working him like a stagehand. I know he doesn't love that. But yesterday at after school they had a Valentine's party with a chocolate fountain! Oh my god! I can't believe they did that. His new teacher is a bad-ass -- a veteran teacher. DLLP and I both love her already. She doesn't suffer fools gladly. MD is out of her mind calling me every second about 'getting him caught up' -- she taught second and fourth grades -- and she's driving me nuts.
Oh. She wants to come for this sx. But guess what? It might be on her birthday. So I don't want her to come. Because she's going to be on the blower: 'Oh, oh, look at me, I'm MD, I rushed to bobo's side for her surgery, and it's my birthday, but don't worry about me. No applause. I am just that way.' And another thing. I don't really want people around when I am out of it. I just don't like that. And I'm still somewhat traumatized by seeing her perfect hooters in the middle of the night from last time.
Anyway I told her she could not come, and she said she was coming, she has a key, and I cannot stop her unless she changes the locks. How bad is my life right now. I know it can be worse. But everything is just totally out of control. I seem to be last on everyone's list. I don't even want to be on a list. I just want to be left alone.
PT today -- she remains the recon whisperer. There's lots of talk (as she is massaging my area) about waiting until later to reconstruct, leaving the excess skin on the side, and today...about foobs! And bras, and the light foobs I can wear after sx, and prosthetics, etc etc. I have already told her that's not my bag. But she just rolls on and on. All of this makes me want to hide in the house.
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Bobo, I wouldn't blame you if you did hide in the house. Good grief! What part of flat doesn't she understand? Is Florida boob obsessed like L.A.? Here, boobs or lack of would be hidden under our famous fleece, and it really wouldn't matter to anyone anyway. Maybe you could tell MD she can't come because she's getting a surprise on her birthday and it can't come to your house. Then send her a puppy or something.
I appreciate all your company tomorrow. I won't find out anything until later. If it's bad they call; if good they send the letter. My onc will let me know as soon as she gets the report, then will release it to my medical record and I can read the whole thing. I'm just a little nervous. The fatal mammo was the day before DH birthday and the recall was the day after. The last report mentioned density, but I think it was just a cya. No one has ever mentioned it before.
I just sent off the stuff to put Goldie on Petfinder. She should show by Sunday. Sometimes they're slow.
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Oh Bobo, it isn't really getting any better is it?
I really thought you'd be kicking it by now, but people just keep getting in the way.
It does sound that W is in the right place, and has a teacher who is right for him. I would be very pleased about that and the Chocolate Fountain is a bonus!
MD, well, she's a bit long in the tooth to change, she sounds just so self absorbed that I doubt even sitting her down and telling her that her tweaked new boobies are less than interesting to you, would work. I say F the boobies! Flippant, I know Bobo, but she hasn't been down the road that you have. I know it's hard, but you have to ignore it, and them. She's really a bit sad, if she gets such a rush out of playing the martyr!
I know what you mean about preferring to be alone. I am the same, I loved having Bec here for my post surgery, but that was because I love having her around, not so much for the help. When it comes to Hospital, I always do that alone. I can't bear to have people around in that setting. I spent the night before my surgery at a Motel near the Hospital, went in on my own and met Colin at the door the next day to go home. Just the way I wanted it. No fuss!
As for the whispering PT, I'd wait till she was massaging my "area" and I would eyeball her and say "What Planet are you from Sweetpea? You can't honestly think that I'd be allowing that F'tard to have another opportunity to fail me!" I would bet money that she will be silent after that. You just tell them Bobo, just like that New York, Hey! our Punk Ass girl used to do! Just tell them, this is my decision, and no conversation will be entered into. They have no power over you! Tell them, and then, hide in the house! Big smooshy hugs to you, I just want to roar at them for you Bobo! Their behavior is bordering on stalking. How many times do you have to reiterate??
I feel for you, so much, I wish there was something we could do to make this easier for you, just as your input made it easier for us. ...M x
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Posting at the same time Wren! You crack me up...send her a puppy, or something...now, that's funny!
I am flummoxed by the Booby obsession going on with these people Bobo has to contend with too. If you tell them your wishes here, they are followed to the letter, with nothing more than a "If you change your mind, the door isn't closed!" end of story. I've never heard of such coercion by medicos before.
I am there in the bag for you too, tomorrow, with everything crossed for you! M x
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Hi Fia, so glad you're having fun with the Vitamix. I have to look to see if they do reconditioned ones here. I am watching one on Ebay for my girlfriend that goes off in a couple of days. M x
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Well, I have finally been bitten by the post eater-upper. First time...man that sucks to type and lose it. Anyhow, I just wanted to add that my tumor couldn't be felt and was also found by the mammo. The head physicist at the treatment center told me that they saw an increase in BC when the national guidelines were changed to 2 years.
I was glad to see someone earlier mention that quality of life is not taken into consideration with these studies. Take, for instance, the often quoted "survival is the same" for mastectomy vs lumpectomy statistic. Sure, we might all live the same amount of time, but no one mentions that women who have lumpectomies might have endured another surgery, another round of chemo, or another rad treatment. I know that this can happen with a mastectomy too, but the % is much lower. I suppose this is one of the main reasons I am going forward with the mx on Monday (yes, I haven't cancelled....yet). I know in my heart that if I had a recurrence down the road after just doing rads, I'd forever kick myself for not doing the mastectomy.
Bobo - I tell ya, you are making me want that damn machine! lol My love of frozen PB yogurt is strong...and clean up sounds like a breeze. Glad you like your son's new teacher. Having a good one just makes the world a nicer place, doesn't it? As for the PT, I found that my PT talked all the time too. Is that their way of distracting us from the pain they're inflicting??
GrammaB - This has been such a horrible winter! Good luck in trying to get that water off your driveway...it never works for me. I guess I prefer snow because then you can at least walk without slipping. Be careful.
Wren - Good luck tomorrow. I must have missed why you are having this done... this isn't a routine check-up, or is it? Will be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping for the best.
As for me.. today I really overdid it. Cleaned my room ...under the bed and
everything.. TONS of dust. My life has been at such a standstill for the
past 4 months while I agonized over what to do...the dust was really
thick everywhere. I'm thinking ingesting tons of dust into my lungs
probably wasn't the smartest thing to do right before surgery...but this
type of behavior is pretty typical for me. I have a tendency to
sabotage myself in life and then go.. wtf was I thinking? I then went
out and tried to bang down part of the huge snowbank at the end of my
driveway. It's sort of drifted in and hard as a rock.Wow.. I've written a ton. Guess I'm trying to occupy my mind instead of having a constant meltdown. My brother called me last night and we talked for 2 hours. We have always been close, but this whole thing has put a strain on our relationship. My indecision up to this point has really caused a freak out in my family. Anyhow, he tried his best to convince me that this is the right thing to do and what a relief it will be when it's over. He thinks we should celebrate by going to Vegas! Not a bad idea, actually...just wonder how long it will take before I feel good enough to travel.
Hitting send before it goes *poof* again. Thanks everyone for your encouraging words about the surgery...it really does help.
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gB, I almost missed you, on the bottom of the page.
Good grief, but you've had a shitty time with the shoveling and the broken appliances and the power and water.
I hope it is nearly over for you. I would be looking for a teenager to rope in to help too!
Take care M x
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PRB, It's just a routine mammo. My mx was 2 years ago this month.
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GB, another problem to contend with..yuck, I was tired just reading it. take a hot bath and go to bed. this winter has been a tough one for us since Dec. first. enough already. Take care.
Bobo, you just can't seem to catch a break from anyone.. Damn it!! But glad to hear about boy,s school and teacher, very positive! brother and md really need to stay away but how to do it?? What is with the boob infatuation with these so called professionals?
Prb, Vegas sounds good, friend is there and temp is upper 80's! you will be amazed how good you feel soon after sx, not sure about traveling, I didn't do any of that after a day.s drive home, just wanted to get home and heal. thinking of you,
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Hi! bobo, I'm glad W's school and teacher are good. It's a big adjustment for him but I'm sure he will grow to love it as he makes new friends and gets used to his new surroundings. MD, well, it seems you can't avoid her... At least you know what to expect? And she might be a tiny bit useful if she takes the kids out? ... Sorry, tough to find much positive from her visit. I too fully understand you for wanting to be left alone. I think most of us here are independent women who like to take care of themselves as much as possible.
M, are the fires still raging? How is the smoke situation in your town today? Is your friend still with you (I forget how long she was staying)? Hugs!
Wren, that's too bad about your washing machine, I hope the laundromat adventure went ok today. Good luck finding a home for Goldie! In the bag for you tomorrow!
Oh gB, it never stops! You must be completely wiped! Careful on the ice tomorrow... Maybe next week you'll be ready for your slicer? Rest well!
PRB, it's great that you have a good relationship with your brother, maybe you can send him over to teach bobo's brother how to behave?! Have fun cleaning, it's strange but it does feel good to get our place in order before surgery.
TB - you asked for it! My hairdresser improved my wig yesterday, his partner and him were both working on my head together, it was funny! It's a little less poofy now, they did as much as they could but were limited by the fact that it's a wig. They said it is a high quality one, but with it being curly, it's a little challenging. I got tips to make it look better too, so I'll be able to live with it for the months to come.
Zills, thinking of you, how are you?
I went to Look Good Feel Better today, it was good. Lots of free products, met interesting ladies, got a few beauty tips (but I'm sure M would have been much better!), and was shown how to tie scarves, etc. Bought some head coverings, but even though I already have my short hair, I can't imagine yet being bald and wearing these. Oh well, reality will hit me in the face soon enough!
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Arrggh! My garage is flooded, my storage shed is flooded, the seasonal creek that goes through my property and is usually dry this time of year is a raging river!!
We are under a Small Stream Flooding advisory because of the warmer temps. All the water I am getting is coming from the hill across the road from my street. The water was flowing like a creek all day. I had to go out late afternoon, early evening and try to divert the flow over to my side yard near the top of my driveway. So I'm shoveling slush to set up dams and it is actually working! Then I smell something and look down there are rainbows on the surface of the water. Carp!! I don't know if it is oil or gas but it is nasty!! No idea where it came from either. I have to keep that water diverted so it doesn't come into my front yard and stink it all up. Worked hard another one and a half hours till it was too dark to do any more. The water came into my snow boots and I am really hoping it doesn't stink them up!! It is going to freeze tonight so won't see any more flooding till it thaws tomorrow.
No teens anywhere nearby, plus even if there were, they would be in school during the day.
I realize the irony of all this, 3 days ago I had no water, today I am flooded!! Sheesh!
posting before it disappears.
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PRB: It happened to you too? Did the page start to flash as well? I decided to write a number of shorter posts tonight so that I do not lose one long one.
Bobo: Please do not take this the wrong way, but I almost feel that your relationship with your DM could be the script for a sitcom. I am afraid I have a bit of an odd sense of humour at times and poor otceb has been a target as well
I LOVE to laugh. Bobo and Ariom: I too want to be alone to deal with the big stuff. I need to be alone to get some perspective before I am able to deal with others and their reactions/needs. Before surgery I almost made my DH go back to the hotel room as the worry on his face was causing me more stress. The nurse was wonderful and we were laughing and joking and then I would look over at DH and he was not even smiling. I found myself asking him if he was ok. Really!
Well I had a great moment today when, like PRB, I decided to get after the dust bunnies. I am feeling way too good to be at home. I start rads a week from today, so better enjoy this while it lasts. Initially from nerves and now because I am trying to be healthy, I have lost 25 lbs since dx. At the back of my closet, I found a brand new, tailored shirt from Italy when I was there in 2000. And a nightie from Paris. That was the year I turned 40 and my mother died and I went from always being slim to gaining weight steadily over the next five years and it stayed. I could not bear to throw out those two items of clothing as they were so gorgeous. I tried them on today and they fit perfectly! I am wearing the nightie and although it looks a bit different with only one breast, I am feeling simply elegant.
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bobo, I am so sorry things are still so bad for you! I agree with Ariom, MD is never going to change, she is who she is. I hope you can get her out of your hair quickly after sx!! I don't get the big push for recon all your med team seems to want you to do. Even down to the whispering PT. It is outrageous! You stated what you wanted, that should be it. I would never give that a$$ of a PS a second chance to do recon. There is nothing wrong with flat.
I can certainly understand your desire to just be left alone. (((hugs)))Glad to hear W is liking his new school. Sounds like he'll settle in quickly. Wow, a chocolate fountain, how cool is that?
Wren, I can't imagine Goldie will be listed for long. She is so cute!!
PRB, yep the nesting bug has bit you! We all cleaned like crazy just before sx. Don't know what that is about, but we all did it! Yeah, Vegas baby!!
ndgirl, I am exhausted!! I took a long hot shower and did feel better, not looking forward to tomorrow. I was so tired all I ate for dinner was a salad and some sardines.
otceb So tired, I will sleep like a rock tonight. No energy to cook tonight, let alone try to figure out a new gadget!
Hugs for everyone!!
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Ohhhh, TB a French nightie!! How sexy is that? Hope DH is enjoying it too!
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gB, I can imagine how absolutely exhausted you must be. That's tough work, only to have it fill up again and bring in stinky petroleum or something. I know you have to do it, but isn't there anyone who can give you a hand? I hope you get a good rest and don't lie there stewing over it all. M x
TB, I know just what you mean! I don't want to be brought down with a sad or worried face. I also don't want to have to make conversation if i don't feel like it.
I like to joke around with the staff and the Doctor too, it always makes me feel better.
I envy you the weight loss. I lost a good amount of weight, but I just slowly put most of it back on.
Your French and Italian finds sound divine. If I can make a suggestion, even though I haven't seen the nightgown. I wore sarongs a lot after my surgery, it was so hot. They were silk, or very light floaty fabrics. I took the modest pad thingy out of a sports bra and put a couple of tiny stitches to hold it onto the fabric. It was just enough to hold the fabric away from my chest and to give the impression of a protrusion. You may not even be concerned about that, but it worked for me in the early days before I had lots of options.
I am so thrilled to hear you say, you are wearing that beautiful silk nightgown and you are feeling elegant! I love that! M x
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otceb, my gf went home yesterday. There are still fires in the area, and the smoke is still very thick and strong.
We have the Australian Laser Masters, which is yacht racing for over 40's. There are 140 entries, but I can barely see them on the water. I feel so sorry for people coming from all over the country and these are the conditions.
Nesting is good, we all did it! I am so pleased you went to LGFB, I loved my involvement, years ago. It really is a great way to get tips and to get together for a while with others who are facing similar things. I hope you had a good laugh! It's really nice to come away with a bag of goodies too. I think it is a brilliant concept.
I have no idea if this would be of interest to you, but one of my friends at my Pink Ladies group is having chemo right now and she has lost her hair. She is wearing several different color "Trilby" hats, and she looks amazing in them. She doesn't wear anything under the hat except lovely earrings and you'd never know she has no hair. She is a really well groomed 60ish and everyone remarks on how wonderful she looks in these hats. Just a thought...M x
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Hi ndgirl! I'm in, I love a trip to Vegas!
I am wondering if all is well with ldesim, not like her to be missing so long, and Zills isn't around either, gramwe, I hope you're still reading, and everything is ok.
I am going for a massage, so I will check in later....M x
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Happy Valentines Day!
Poop emergency for the boy. What a way to start the day! It's also skunk love month so it stinks outside and inside.
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Thank you Zills, glad to see you!
Not the best way to start the day, but it can only get better! LOL
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delerium pie got some bad news. If you know her, give her your support please.
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Happy Valentine's Day to all you dear ladies. I made some cookies for our dgd's, our little one will be 3 on Sunday so we will be heading to the birthday party tomorrow morning.
What a find in the closet from Paris and Italy, how nice! I would never have those finds in my closet! probably find the old size 8 jeans that no longer come close to fitting and would be depressed so heck with it.. no cleaning closets for me.
Zills, not a good way to start your day.. hope things get better. I saw on thread dp got bad news, I dont post there often but do read it. Sorry to hear that.
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OK, went over and read some of delerium pie's flat thread. I read the beginning...and the end. Not a good idea.
I was feeling ok about the surgery on Monday ..but now I'm back to feeling panicked. Plus, I have a tooth that is hurting and my dentist is not in the office today. I have a history of teeth just absessing for no reason. What if I go into surgery with a tooth infection?
Feeling overwhelmed and sick to my stomach.
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PRB, Call your BS and ask for antibiotics. I don't think they'll want you to have an infection. That's probably what the dentist would do also.
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PRB. DP has a different diagnosis than you. Get started on the antibiotic. Surgery is Monday right?
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Happy Valentine's Day All!!
Well, the water froze up over night and it has been snowing all morning. It is supposed to turn to rain later in the day, but I sure hope not!! I will go out and clear the concrete pad but hopefully everything else will stay frozen. The creek has gone way down so that is a good sign the main melt has passed. I really wanted to go to the grocery store today, but I don't want to drive over the dams I made in the driveway until I'm sure the floods are over.
Ariom, I did sleep well actually. I knew there was nothing more I could do at that point so just let it go.
AW Zills, not the best start to the day, but as Ariom said, it can only go up from there!! Sorry to read about DP, I do follow that thread too.
ndgirl, have a great time at DGD's Birthday party! My youngest DGD turned 3 last month. They are so precious at that age!
PRB, yes to what Wren said, get some antibiotics in you ASAP! You need to be able to have your sx on Monday and get it behind you! ((hugs))
Hope everyone has a great day!
Hugs!
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Yes, surgery is Monday....but seeing all the problems she had with her surgery, and the emotional part of it ...just hit home with me. Concave? I thought it would be flat. Tooth is not hurting as much and my dentist just called back. He'll be back in town tomorrow and will look at if it hasn't calmed down. I might just be clenching my teeth at night.
I want to cancel soooo bad. Having big regrets.... wishing I had done the rads. blah blah blah. I am not strong enough to handle this. I am frozen with fear once again.
Thank you all for your support. I'm just having my own little pity party today it seems. Still thinking that I have a 75% chance of it not coming back if I do nothing. That's really pretty good odds.
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Just wanted to pop in and say Happy Valentines Day to everybody. Between office reno and f'ing snow.. I feel like I've been on a treadmill.. hope to catch up this weekend..
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ldesim, Happy Valentines to you too! So glad to see you, but sorry you are still suffering the renovations and that weather would get me down.
Looking forward to hearing from you when you have time....M x
PRB, you are going to be fine! know this is scaring the crap out of you, but you can't look at a bad experience that someone else with a different Dx had and decide that's what will happen to you. The vast majority of women going through this surgery have an experience that really surprises them. Most of us fall into that category.
I know you have reservations about how you will deal with the result of the surgery, I don't know if suggesting you look at pictures is a good idea or not. I spent ages searching for, and looking at pictures of other women who had opted to go "Au Naturel" and it just reaffirmed my decision to avoid recon. I actually gained strength by looking at them, but that was me. I had a fairly good idea how I was going to look, because I had become so used to seeing my Mother after her Mx.
It is absolutely, your call, but as good as a 75% chance of it "not returning", if I do nothing sounds, I would be crapping myself at the thought of a 25% chance that it would!.......... Again, just me.
You are strong enough to handle this!
Just a few days to go now, I know it is hard when you can't shut down the constant doubting.
I learned a valuable lesson from a friend of mine who was a total believer in Positive Affirmations. She believed that reaffirming things in the positive, as though they had already happened, would set you up for a positive experience. It can be anything that you like......"I am supremely healthy!" "I breezed through the surgery, and feel strong and comfortable!" "I look fantastic and I feel great!" I know it sounds a bit hokey and Hippie like, and it probably is, but if you focus on the repetition of these affirmations, you'll be doing something positive rather than the stressful negative thoughts. Do it often, and repeat at least 5 times each time you do it. If you say these things out loud, and in front of a mirror, and you can smile at the same time, you'll be surprised how it makes you feel. It is a known and proven fact that smiling actually causes the "feel good" endorphins to be released, and you will feel a bit of a lift in your mood. So even if you don't feel fabulous, a smile, even a forced one, can make you feel better when you're low.
We will all be here if you need us, just remember we all went into this, "shitting bricks" too, and you can see where we all are now.
"It's big girl panties time!" Lean on us, and vent all you like....Hugs M x
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gB, so glad you could "turn off" and get a good sleep. I'm sorry that it isn't over for you yet though. Take it easy, and be careful with all that ice around. M x
ndgirl! Have a lovely Valentines Day, we forgot! LOL I didn't even realize it was the 14th till last night!
Have fun at the Birthday Party!
I am going to spend some serious time in the spa today. I was up early picking Figs this morning. I have been out to distribute them to people who have a business nearby making relish and jams etc, and one of my friends from the Pink Ladies makes fantastic jam with them, and gives me some....yum! The birds have come, how do those guys know exactly when the Figs are ripe? So the tree is ablaze with Rozellas. I would get a picture, but they take off when I go out there.
The sun is out, and most of the smoke is gone, so we are returning to normal again. Lots of tourists around and yachties here for the competition. I have just been to the Farmers Market and will make Vitamix soup later, and Mango Frozen Yogurt with Coconut for dessert. I bought heaps of fantastic organic produce, and yes ladies, Fudge, loads of Fudge!
I'm off....chat later..M x
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