new and future flat sister, with questions
Comments
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A. A cyber friend from another forum lives in Pottsville. Is that close to you? He has called it a Lake District. Just wonderin'.
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GB, that just sucks! You're so patient about it all.. I'd be in such a foul mood!
M, OMG that's like 107 here.. I've never experienced that type of heat.. but I have to say it sounds kind of nice right about now. Still so cold here and more snow due tomorrow... everything is a sheet of ice outside.
Otceb, sorry you are in a sh!tty mood.. is it the haircut or just things in general... you can vent here all you want, you won't bring us down.. we love a good b!tchfest.
Was hoping for a princess party update, but I'm sure she's running around 1000 miles per hour.. hope everything went well.
*hugs*
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As far as being patient about this mess, what option do I have??? I know it will be fixed, eventually....it does me no good to fuss and fume about it. Now if the heat was still out too I may not be so patient!! DH and I did lots of long backpack and camping trips so I am used to limited water and "marine" showers so I can deal with it. Longest trip was 12 days in the backcountry of Yosemite. I'm just not as young as I was then!!
In defense of W4U, I have talked to the boss 5 times today, he's talked me through things to do and asked me to report results. There really isn't anything they can do for the pump until the pipes are thawed. The assistant came out and he was the one to warn me about the shaking and to keep the water off if it continues. I had no idea there was still a frozen pipe in the pump house. I also talked to my plumber and after he listened through the phone to the sound the pipes were making in the house, he was spot on diagnosing the problem as the pressure tank.
I'll check the pump tomorrow morning and if it still is thumping/bumping W4U boss said he would come out and check it out tomorrow and see what he could do. I'm just hoping with the heat on it overnight, tomorrow I wake not to shaking but to real water in the house again!
otceb, sorry you are having a hard time. Don't be shy to share the $hitty along with the good!
My guess today was a super busy day for bobo and we won't get any Princess Party updates until tomorrow at the earliest.
Hugs!
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Just had to log on and tell you!
I have opened every large slider in the front of the house. I looked out an hour ago and thought there was thick smoke covering the water. The sky was gray, but when I opened the first door the COLD wind just blew in and took my breath away! The wind is so strong it has whipped up white caps. No rain yet, but it shouldn't be long! WooHoo for the cool change!
Spookiesmom, I hadn't heard of Pottsville, but that name is almost as bad as Paynesville! It is NSW which is up North of here. It is on the water too, so likely similar to here. There weren't many pictures on the Where Is site.
I am impressed with your calmness gB, that's a lot to deal with on your own. I doubt I would be so rational!
I doubt Bobo is getting much rest this weekend, but what fun, having an 8 year old party! I loved Bec's parties. Her Birthday falls during school vacation, so we used to invite the whole class every year, there were always kids away, but we always had a good turnout. I had to rope in friends to do "Pool Watch" just to make sure everyone stayed floating! We often had days like this where it would be sizzling and then change in a second. Twenty plus, cold, wet kids, in a line for a hot shower. LOL
I hope all has gone well at Bobo's house...M x
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ndgirl, I didn't answer your question. I think the plumber's son unplugged the heat tape the summer before last when they replaced the filters & were unclogging the drain in my kitchen. He was in training, messed up replacing the panel to the access under the house, his dad had to get him to do it right. I didn't know then, but he also didn't pull the insulation back into place at the opening, I suspect he unplugged the heat tape when replacing the filters. We had a mild winter last year, this year NOT!
It was just the perfect storm, everything that could go wrong did all at once!
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We just got a little bit of snow here! Don't expect it to amount to much but it's pretty. DS lives in the Columbia Gorge and had 18" this morning with more predicted for this afternoon. He was feeding the boys before taking them sledding. The smaller one is 6 and hasn't had a good snow that he remembers. They didn't have any the past 2 years.
One year we lived on a small side street. We had a decent snowfall and the only tracks on our street were from cross country skis. I prefer skiing when the snow is deeper because it hurts less when you fall.
My bone density test was ok. I've lost a little more, but still osteopenia so the AI isn't doing a major hit on my bones. That's a relief. I don't really trust the drugs they give to build bones, so I'd rather hold off as long as I can.
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Don't you love that gB, incompetence! Wouldn't you think the young bloke would know that you retrace what you do in reverse?
Just been watching the devastation from the fires across the State. There are houses being lost not far from the big City. My girlfriend who is coming here tomorrow just called to say her Sister has just been evacuated from her new home, and her Brother is on alert at his farm which is a long way away in the other direction. Her youngest Daughter lives just out of town and has fires all around her.
It is still blowing a gale here, but it is 20 degrees cooler. Bec is doing fine, even though she doesn't have air con and refuses to move to another apartment. She loves her little retro apartment right across the road from the beach.
Wren, you've got snow! Wow!
So pleased to hear that your scan was good and there hasn't been any deterioration. I agree about those drugs for Osteoporosis. Colin has Aclasta infusions with no problem, he just had his 3rd a couple of weeks ago. I had one infusion, and thought I would never recover from the SE's. My bones have suffered from 17years of steroids. I also injected Methatrexate which is a chemo drug that "supposedly" works for Rheumatoid, for 7 years, I doubt that did me or my bones any good, and of course all the proton Pump Inhibitors for GERD erode bones too. Damned if you do and damned if you don't! M x
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Wren, glad your bone density isn't taking a big hit. I was really surprised when my PCP told me in June last year (before bc was even in the picture) that once I hit medicare age he'd do a bone density test, but he didn't like the any of the drugs available if needed. I have always had strong bones, don't know what diabetes and bc have done to that. The previous bone density tests I've had have always shown I have the bones of someone much younger than I actually am.
I love going outside after a snow fall. I see all the bird tracks, the neighbor's cat's prints (he thinks my birds that I feed are a great buffet for him!) and the deer prints. I have seen a fox a couple of times this winter. He/she may be the cause of the red snow I found today.
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I remember one summer when we had extreme heat (heat? oh how I wish this winter was over). We had a big wind/rainstorm come through that was crazy. I live across from a park with baseball fields and the sand was swirling in the air. The temperature dropped 20 degrees in a matter of minutes. All I could think of at the time was how awesome and powerful nature is... 10 minutes prior to the storm we had been sweating and pretty miserable (before I had a/c) and then *poof* it was a beautiful day... nice temperature and the sun was shining!
So a little update from me, I tried radiation last week. One treatment. It went poorly. My ears started ringing and my face felt sunburned (in the prone position). Of course, they said it couldn't be from the rads...but a girl knows what a girl knows. I have always been sensitive to stuff...like drug reactions and an extreme sense of smell, so it didn't surprise me that I'd have something like this happen. Anyhow, the following day the machine was down, so I was off the hook for Tuesday. Wednesday came and I cancelled. Thursday came and I decided I was more afraid of radiation than surgery. So surgery it is... scheduled for Feb. 17th.
I am scared out of my mind, even though the nurse said most women feel the mastectomy is an easier recovery than a lumpectomy. My lumpectomy was pretty smooth, so I hope she is right. I know many of you have said the same thing too, that recovery isn't too bad, but then there can always be complications like bobo had.
As most of you know, this has been one emotional journey for me. Once and awhile I feel relieved that it will be over and I can get back to 'living'...which is something I haven't done too well over the past few months. On the other hand, there will be the dreaded pathology report to deal with...again..and the recovery ... again, and most importantly, there will be my new reality of having a big scar, no boob and a constant reminder that I had cancer. I'm not sure I'll be able to cope. I hate the thoughts of being lop-sided and how getting up and dressed
will never be same. Maybe I'm afraid that no one will ever view me the
same again...that somehow I am not a whole person. Funny, I didn't
feel that way after my hysterectomy, but then no one could see my
uterus.Well there, I have managed to depress myself yet once again! You are all so upbeat... I wonder if you all were like that before you even had cancer? I bet you were. My sister is the eternal optimist, and I am the polar opposite. I am obviously on the wrong board lol. Thanks for letting me vent. I will be lurking to see if grammaB's finally gets water, how bobo's birthday cake tasted, and if Ariom's heat somehow finds its way to the Midwest. We sure could use it.
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PRB. Don't beat yourself up. You tried. You didn't stick your head in the sand and ignore it. My treatment went quickly so just now dealing with the emotions. Surgery isn't bad and you will be amazed how quickly you feel better. It may be a relief to you.
OTC I'm sure you are upset but it's ok. You're probably trying without noticing to put on a brave face. We are here for the good, the bad and the ugly. Several of us have been in your shoes. This is a safe place to vent.
GrammaB. Yes you are very patient but you're right. No use getting upset over what you can't control. I need to practice that more often.
Wren. Good news about your bones.
Waiting to here about the MD, princess party, menu and cake!
Poor M. 100+ for days is miserable.
Granny was moved to hospice. Much more comfortable now. I go up and have dinner with my sisters and stay for a few hours. Can't do the 24 hour vigil.
Snowing again. Trees still encased in ice. Birch, willows and pines took a beating. Have 6 calves and 1 filly. More to come:)
Going to go for a walk. It's pretty with the sun shining on the trees. Looks like a fairy tale castle. See Eddie and pass out peppermints. Kittens haven't been going.
About time for an update from Granwe. Hope everyone else is doing ok.
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Still no water. I went out this morning to try turning on the water and got the same shaking and thumping. Called W4U waiting to hear back. Going to have to go over to my neighbor's and fill up my water jugs again, if it doesn't get resolved today.
It is 25°F and ever so lightly snowing. Had about 5 more inches overnight so that meant more shoveling today. Sheesh, no wonder I'm exhausted. And the trudging up to the pump house through the deep snow is getting to my knees now.
Ariom, we were typing at the same time last night, so just read your post. Fires are frightening! I hope your friend's family escapes any damage and stays safe. Glad it is cooler for you even if you have to deal with the wind.
Yeah, you'd think his dad would have ingrained that in his head right from the start. First lesson!! I think he was just lazy and did a half @$$ed job and thought he'd get away with it. He got caught on the access door, but got away with the under the house mess ups.
PRB, at least you gave radiation a try. You know your body better than any one and you know which you can deal with better. Surgery will come and be over before you know it. I agree with Zills that surgery isn't that bad and you truly may feel so much better once it is done and behind you. Don't compare to bobo's surgery as she was having recon and there are all sorts of things that can go wrong with that. As to the "big" scar, that isn't necessarily a definite thing, my scars are only 4" on the left and 4.75" long on the right. I am close to 6 months out and they have really faded a lot. Are they a constant reminder I had bc? Yes and no, what they remind me of most is how strong I was to take the most aggressive option to rid my body of bc. And I am proud of that! (((hugs)))
Zills, sorry about Granny, but it sounds like she is in a good place now with loved ones around her.
Wow, so many baby animals! I bet they are sooo cute!!
posting have to take the garbage up to the road....
Hugs for everyone!
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Ariom, When we lived in Texas, the summer had temperatures in the high 90'sF and humidity to match. Our first cold front would drop the temp 20 degrees and was called a blue norther. Very welcome after 8-9 months of hot weather. The charity hospital kept track of the date and wouldn't OK vacations for OB and nursery personnel. Big baby boom 9 months later.
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Hello all, well it has stayed cool this morning, but the smell of smoke is so strong and the view from where I sit is shrouded in smoke. There were many homes lost yesterday.
Wrenn, how funny about the baby boom after the weather change. I remember them talking of same after long power outages here.
gB, I really feel for you. You've really had a shitty time with this water and heat problem, but all this shoveling must be taking it out of you too. I hope it all starts to melt soon and give you a break.
That sneaky little so and so! to get caught on one job and hope to get away with the under house stuff. I doubt he'll ever make it in that job!
I haven't spoken to my friend yet this morning, if everything is OK I will pick her up from the train at 5.30 this evening. Take it easy, don't push the shoveling too much..M x
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Hey my friends! Oh, dear gB, I wish I could send you running water across the border! You are so resourceful, and your past camping experience seems to be coming in handy. I hope it gets resolved soon...
M, I hope the winds will have died down overnight and you can enjoy hopefully milder weather.
bobo - how was the party? Did the princess have fun? Can you take time to relax now?
PRB, sending you a big hug. You will be fine, believe us!
Zills, Idesim, thank you for your support. Yeah, it's stupid vain me so F* upset with the stupid hair. I look awful with short hair. I can't hide behind my curls anymore and see that, well, I have aged since the last time I truly looked at myself! Fat face, wrinkles, whatever. And the frigg*n wig is frigg*n poofy, I cancelled my apt with the PT on Friday because I couldn't go out of the house with it, it was clownish. My darling hairdresser trimmed it, but it's still too poofy, I'll go back to see him this week. I'm going to use this frigg*n hairpiece for a year, might as well have something that looks passable. I'm so happy with my hairdresser though, I've been seeing him since I've been living in Toronto (15 yrs) and I'm not his first chemo/wig client, so he knew exactly what to do.
The good thing is I started running again - yesterday and today, it felt good, no pain, wore the bionic arm (sh!tty gauntlet and sleeve), the poofy wig, the fake boobs, really, quite a sight! Might as well laugh, right?! Other good thing is being able to do whatever activities with the family - hiking in the snow & restaurant yesterday, tobogganing today. I will be very happy if my chemo days continue this way.
Wishing you all a good end to your weekend!
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Hello Zills, I am sorry to hear about your Granny, but you couldn't really wish for a better way to go. Being cared for and loved by your family. I am pleased you can go and see her, and spend time with your Sisters too.
I am sorry you are having to deal with emotions now after all that treatment, but when you think of how fast it all happened to you and what you had to face and process, it isn't surprising. I am sure you'll get through that and move on as you have with everything else. I'd like to think that if I had to do what you did, that I could get through it half as well as you have.
If you need to vent, you know we are here! Big hugs to you! M x
Our power just went out, so I will just continue on this post and send when the power returns.
PRB, I so understand where you are coming from with the sensitivities, I am very much the same. If there is a SE for a drug, I will always present with it. I need far less than others to get relief, which has been a good thing, in a way. I was on the Chemo drug Methatrexate for 7 looong years, but at a fraction of the amount that almost anyone else needed to inject to get results. These days, I can keep Rheumatoid stable on a small amoutnt of Cortisone.
Don't beat yourself up about the Rads, at least you gave it a shot. I just went for the big op straight up! My surgeon told me that I would "Just Breeze Through!" my Mx. I sure didn't believe him at the time, but I even surprised myself, like the others here, just how different, and dare i say "easier' it was, than I expected. As gB says, don't think about Bobo's experience, that was quite different, and was all to do with recon. Even Bobo's previous experiences weren't anything like what she had this time. This wasn't her first BC surgery.
I think most of us would agree that being "scared out of your mind" is totally normal, perhaps that is why we get such a surprise when we find it isn't anything like we have conjured up in our terrified minds.
When it comes to your fear of not feeling "Normal", or being reminded every day, I can't really speak to that. I don't have that feeling at all. I can say, that friends kind of held their breath, wondering if I was going to melt down after my surgery. Perhaps they thought I was a tad vain, and couldn't deal with the changes! LOL
When it comes to being lop sided, others may be able to explain that, I am "D" on my remaining side but it doesn't affect me at all. As far as people viewing you differently, that hasn't been my experience either. This is the kind of surgery that you can keep to yourself if you prefer. No one has to know, if that's your choice.
I had a tendency to blab, at first. I think it was just my way, of adjusting to it. Now I don't care either way. I have no issue talking about it, especially if someone is facing the same thing.
I had a woman say to me, "Oh my! you don't look like you just have one boob!" I still laugh when I think about that. I have no idea what she expected!
You will do just fine, it is a scary thing with all the possible ramifications, but the surgery itself, I am sure, will be easier than you think. The recovery will happen, but the way you "feel" is uniquely personal.
We are going to be here for the long haul, so feel free to lurk, or to join in. We are all here if you want to vent or just to chat.
Try to be kind to yourself for the 10 days, get things organized. I think most of us went into a kind of nesting mode. You'll soon be on the other side of this! M x
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otceb! Hi, you snuck in there while my power was out!
You're amazing! Back to running already, I am seriously lacking in the exercise area.
I am so pleased you are feeling this good, I am sure your hairdresser will get that wig right for you, and you'll get to feel comfortable in it. Have fun with the family! M x
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Ariom, Yikes! I went to BBC to look at the fires you mentioned. I hope they are able to get them under control soon and people can stay safe. When DS lived in Point Reyes, CA, they had a fire very close. They had their car packed and ready to go. The headquarters was 3 houses down. He has photos taken from his back porch showing the edge of the yard and just a lot of red behind. Poor firefighters, the area was full of poison oak.
PRB, My mastectomy was as easy as the lumpectomy. Since the sentinel nodes had already been taken, it was more comfortable. Most of my pain was from the nodes. Mine was 2 years ago and isn't a huge reminder any more. Everyone reacts differently, but time will help. I didn't tell very many people and I don't think people I didn't tell have noticed any difference - except that I lost some weight.
GB, Hope they get your water working well ASAP. It's been long enough.
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Hi Wren, aren't those pictures terrifying! I feel for those people having to evacuate, not knowing what will be left when they return.
Most of the firefighters here are volunteers, what would we do without them? I just hope for a huge downpour without winds. M x
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Wren, I really had to laugh about the hospital keeping track of the date. In 05 Florida was hit with 4 back to back hurricanes. My oldest grandson is a result of one of them. It was all over the media how the hospitals were seeing an increase in births, few years later an increase in school enrollments.
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Ariom, so sorry to hear about the terrible fires, that must be just awful to endure.
GB. yep, you have the right notion, dont fret about things we cant change, I need to learn that lesson most days, I love hearing about you and DH camping and hiking trips, you are a trouper.
Otceb, hope you get your wig the way you want,, you are running? good for you, chuckled about running with boobs, wig etc. We have to have humor to get thru this crap dont we?
PRB, I will just echo what they other gals said about mx, I too was scared silly before hand, but couldnt believe how quickly I recovered. Agree that you cant compare with Bobo, if you arent having recon. sometimes things just happen that shouldnt. come here often and vent, share or whatever is on your mind, dont think there is anything that someone along the way has not experienced. We are all here for you... Big hugs now and gentler ones after mx.
I just heard today that a lady I know that is about 80 years young, very active great gal, was diagnosed with bc that has went to nodes and is having surgery tomorrow, she was deciding what to do... hard at any age isnt it? But one the other hand my friend that has stage 1v lung cancer just had a scan and is cancer free for now!! Said she was the only one in the treatment room that got that news!! She is a walking miracle, her attitude is great too. I was so pleased to hear that news, she was so concerned as her husband just had open heart surgery and she is trying to take care of him and was afraid she may have to have more treatments and he wouldnt be able to take care of her.... wow, life can pack a wallop at times cant it??? Take care everyone.
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OK I am officially here. I will start rads on Feb 20th. For any of you who have been following my "big decision", you may be relieved even more than I am that I finally made up my mind
This is my favorite thread as it is fun, supportive and informative. I do not have time tonight to speak with all of you but I wanted to tell otceb that your description of your jogging "outfit" made me laugh out loud. My DH loves it when he sees me laughing on the computer as he worries that I am finding worrisome news, etc. But I gain so much by being here.
PRB: Did I get that right: When I go back to check, sometimes I lose everything I wrote, so I am hoping I got that correct. I totally get your fear of rads as I have agonized over my decision. But I am going for it.
Ariom: I finally have a picture of my beloved Blanche (cockatoo) on the computer and am hoping that DH will help me later tonight create my picture (what is the correct terminology) by my name.
Anyone else watching the Grammy tribute to the Beatles tonight? Awesome. I am also trying to finish sewing some drapes.
Glad to be here and moving forward. xxxxxx
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Hi All,
Been in such a lousy mood. No tears, sadness, or anger, just plain disbelief. Radiation is off the table now and Herceptin is over. Because of my Afib, or irregular heartbeat, I am back to chemo. Silly me complaining about my gray ultra curly hair! Two weeks from the first infusion my hair will be gone again. People here call the new chemo, "Red Devil", but you may know it as adriamycin. I feel like I am back to square one, but with a very sore chest. (The incisions are so sore and I am massaging them.) I won't start the new chemo until March and I don't know how many rounds I will have. Sometimes I feel like no one wants to tell me anything. Like the bad news will keep until the last moment. Heck, I put on my "big girl panties" before every appointment. I think my oncologist and I need to have a talk! Anyway, I'm not feeling like myself, Suzie Sunshine I am not. DH looks like he!!. He sleeps a lot to escape. DD2 is in her own world and DD1 wants me to figure out what I like to do so we can do something fun before I feel very crappy again. (Right now I have barely enough energy to get through grocery shopping!). Great gesture, but just cooking dinner and cleaning up would be great! I know this too shall pass and I will move forward. I wish there was a support group here where I could unload all this crap! Thanks for listening tonight. I really appreciate you all being here!
Always, Susan
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Sgc: I am new here but why is radiation "off the table"? I am guessing that the Herceptin may have aggravated the arrhythmia?? Sorry if I am asking a stupid question as I do not know your history like the other women here do. I am thinking that the risk of the radiation to your heart may be why. It is so frustrating when treatment options are not available due to other issues that we have. As IF the damn breast cancer is not enough. This whole thing is so complicated with so many let downs and scares along the way. Glad that you are listening to Ariom an massaging those scars. I am now too but not entirely certain why
I just trust Ariom. It is entirely Ok not to be Suzie sunshine. At least we have something to complain about. DAMN. Why can't we be one of those shallow people complaining about nothing.....?? 0 -
Ariom: My picture is here. That is my beloved Blanche outside on a summer day overlooking our lake and a sunset. Finally am getting myself set up here
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I had 4 rounds of the red devil. Ask for it to go in slowly, I got dizzy if they pushed fast. DONT freak the first potty and the pee is red!!! Looked like red kool aid. It's the chemo.
Why is rads off now? I did 28 reg and 5 boosts, with Afib. My RO said they could stop it before the rad got to my heart.
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Thank you all for your wonderful comments. I have calmed down some since earlier today...mostly because of all your great advice and wisdom. You've been there, done that...and hearing it over and over (yes I know I've been asking these questions over and over for months now) helps pound it into my hard head! Seriously..I swear I am not usually this dense.
Something else that helped ....I took my daughter to the pool (inside) today and was reading a book about inner happiness. Some of those chapters seemed written just for me and really made me think about my life and what I expect from it. Interesting stuff.
So right now I feel confident....but tomorrow morning is another day!
Thanks again to all of you.
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Oh Susan.. I just read your post. I know how you feel about doctors not telling you stuff. It sucks and does nothing to relieve all the anxiety involved in this diagnosis. When I cancelled my rads, the radiation supervisor called me. I told her my concerns with the RO and his tendency to just poo-poo my questions. She said a major problem is that people treat the doctors like gods, and because of that, they rarely develop good communication skills.
I'm sorry things are not going well...but there is always time for a second opinion. I met a lady at the treatment center who had 4 rads to go to be done. I was shocked when she told me she was in the process of going for a second opinion at U of M. I said.. well isn't it a little late now that you're almost done with treatment? She said no.. I want to know if the treatment I received was the right one.
So maybe seek another opinion...because we all know that treatment is all over the place.
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Big hug prb!
I am glad you're feeling better today. They don't call it a Roller Coaster for nothing!
We don't care how often you ask the questions, we know you aren't dense. It is a big deal and asking for support is new to all of us, but it is what we all did. It's just your turn now, but soon you'll be the one giving the advice to new ones, who are feeling just as you are now. It's a wonderful circle of women here, we don't judge, we're just there for each other, when we need it.
Finding a book that gives you some confidence is great too! I am an affirmations kinda gal, even did a great "Treasure Map" of where I wanted to be in the next 5 years. That was many years ago, before I met Colin, when I had been on my own for about 6 years. I pretty well have everything that was on that map. No, there wasn't a BC clause! LOL
Take it easy, and come here to vent if you need to...M x
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TB what a gorgeous picture, and a beautiful girl. Is she really large, or is it just that she's spreading her wings? They come in varying sizes, and I had a few in the garden a few days ago. One was so big, I had to call Colin to see it.
I just snorted hot tea, when I read about you massaging because I said so!
I have always massaged scars, and have always feared getting attachments or adheasions, so I always start massaging asap after an op. I had a big hand surgery some years ago for RA and the surgeon kept telling me how important it was to keep everything supple and moving. I had a condition call CPRS, or Chronic Pain Response Syndrome, which was all to do with the sympathetic nervous system, and I had to retrain my hand, to feel things as normal again. The massage was a big help with that. I did the same thing for my chest which was feeling pretty weird, not painful, but tight and the strange sensations were similar to how my hand had felt. I really believe that the massage has been the main reason I am feeling pretty normal now, and I also believe the touching helps a lot with acceptance too.
I am a massage devotee, and have been having regular remedial massages for probably 15 years or so, so it's something I am used to doing anyway.....Hugs M x
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sgc, I am so sorry for what you're going through. It just isn't fair. Don't you worry about being Suzie Sunshine! She'll be back when you're ready!
There is just so much crap, and we never really know how each family member is going to compute what's going on. You've got some tough stuff ahead that wasn't expected, so you'll still be wearing those "Big Girl Panties" and come out at the other end better for it.
What is it really, with these Doctors, there are so many with useless people skills, a good slap to the side of the head is what's needed, get a grip guys, this is important stuff! It just seems to happen so often.
I am sure my Surgeon cringes when he knows I am the next patient, I always , have a list, and I quiz him about anything I need to know, but I have the "he works for me" attitude. My Mother was part of the generation that never spoke to Doctors, and never questioned anything they were going to do to her. She just turned to me, in the Surgeon's office, when she had been Dx with BC and said "You decide!" She knew I'd question everything. That was a big kick in the pants for me, to be responsible for choosing her path and her treatment. Funny that, I remember saying, I think if it were me, I'd want it off! How prophetic, that's exactly what I wanted when it was my turn, 18 years later.
I just had a thought, while you are feeling so exhausted, how about a little roster, at home, or delegate one night a week each, for help with dinner or housework. Truly, sometimes it just has to be put out there in case it hasn't been thought of. We have a tendency to "just do" everything, and never ask for help...just a thought.
I hope you can get some rest, and feel better! M x
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