new and future flat sister, with questions
Comments
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Yes, bobo enquiring minds what to know how the PS flipped you.
ndgirl, yes squashes are OK, but some in limited amounts. I love spaghetti squash and use it quite a bit.
I've been wearing my hair short for a long time and haven't used a hair dryer in years!! I pulled it out a while ago and it was so dusty I'd be afraid to use it for fear it would burst into flames!!
I would prefer to be cremated too, but as Zills said, it is more what my kids would want in the end. My late DH was cremated and I scattered his ashes in several places that were special to us (we backpacked and hiked a lot) and I took some to India and scattered them in the Ganges. A funny story about bringing my DH home from the funeral home. My dear friend came with me to pick him up and go back to my home. She sat and held the box as I drove and said, "I never thought I'd have Joseph sitting on my lap!!" We both cracked up.0 -
Idesim, yuck for the water retention and hot flashes! how are your sleep habits now? I am still struggling with a good nite's sleep, not sure if I will ever have one.
Ariom, no kittys are not ours, they just stop in for a snack I think. There is quite a few strays in our small town, we claim one calico cat for our own, she is quite old now but such a sweetie. I understand your feelings on the urn, not sure how I would handle it either. DH and I have chosen cremation, but my brother just freaks out at the thought of it and I freak out at an open casket funeral!! to each their own. more and more in this part of the world cremation is becoming more popular, maybe because of cost? not sure. When is your mil's service?
Zills, 14 quarts and a pail of refrigerator beet pickles, they last for several months just in the refrigerator and so easy too. I feel for you with the bloody hormones! my hot flashes will never end! but otherwise not too weepy, once every now and then I feel sorry for myself but not for long. I wish I knew if this arimidex is working or not, hate to take something and not know but guess I will as long as I can tolerate it. I am rested some, went to work for a few hours at the office today and came home feeling better.. go figure huh?
A good night's rest to all!0 -
A
Funny story. My parents chose cremation. I knew I'd have to take them up north for burial. So when my dad died, I told the place where to send his urn. My brother-in-law works at a funeral home, called him and said daddy would be coming in the U.S. Mail.
My mom died several years later in May. I couldn't get away for her burial till Thanksgiving. Her urn was on my dining room table with flowers by it. We never eat there anyway. DD made the trip with me, as I was ready to pull out she says, did you pack grandma?
We have chosen cremation also. Much cheaper!0 -
Loving the funny stories!
A girlfriend of mine had and probably still has, her Father in a cupboard at her house because she couldn't decide what to do with him. Her Husband is a Funeral Director, he did my Mother's Funeral, he doesn't find her strange, for keeping her Dad in the cupboard, I guess he's heard of wierder stories than that one.0 -
We have chosen cremation and I want to be scattered somewhere. Years ago it was a particular hiking trail, but now I would settle for the arboretum. People are getting too old to make that hike and the road up is worse than it was (which was awful). I just don't want people to feel there's a place they need to decorate with flowers. I do feel having the ashes in the house might be a bit creepy at first.0 -
We've got it sorted out!
Colin's Mother is waiting in the car, for the trip to Melbourne! We thought we might accidentally leave her behind if we brought the Urn inside, truth is, I think Colin may be a bit creeped out too!
It's rediculous, I know!0 -
I'm sorry to be chuckling at Mum being left in the car. So hope no one breaks into the car and makes off with her during the night.
OGs brother had his dog cremated and she holds a spot of great reverence on their fireplace mantle it creeps me out every time we visit them.
Of all the things in our house, both of our sons decided years ago that they each want an antique ashtray that I probably bought at a garage sale for next to nothing 30 years ago. To end their squabble, I decided to be cremated and put my ashes into the ashtray. They can each keep "me" and the ashtray on alternate months. It was a grand idea until a horrible thought crossed my mind. DS1 being who he is would probably still use the ashtray. I have visions of DS2 getting me for his turn, peering into the ashtray and saying "Geeze mom, you are STILL gaining weight."0 -
Poor Idesim, No I really didn't laugh at your posts. Snicker, yes, but not a full out laugh. F hormones, F weight gain, F hair loss, and the sleepless nights, crying, raging, and all the other stuff that goes along. In the mail yesterday was a new supply of F Femara, 120 days worth, why can't they get lost like my million dollar sweepstakes check. I've never been accused of being thin, but on this junk I've also gained this spare tire that goes underneath where the boobs use to live. The MO says you need to lose weight to lower the risk of re-occurrence then they put you on this crap that makes you gain a spare tire, it makes no sense.0
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Bobo, did you see a PS or a hypnotist? Please what did this person say to make you change your mind? No worries we will still love you, with or without recon. Dec. 6th is a wonderful date! We will all be there with you. You have had a long road to surgery, it is so great to know that there is a date finally.
What color did you paint the bedroom? Have you moved back in? Do you love it?0 -
Wren, I'm with you in the beet haters corner. They taste like dirt to me. Also hate turnips, love turnip greens but not the actual turnip.
Hope the little kitty had a night without vomiting, poor baby. One of ours just came in with another wound, not sure who is fighting but he isn't the victor. No matter what he refuses to stay inside at night, he will meow, climb the drapes, and cause all sorts of commotion until he is let outside. I'm beginning to think he is protecting the chickens from some other animal. During the day he lays underneath their nesting box like he is on patrol.0 -
Zills, so sorry you are in hormone he11, too. I'm so behind, have you had the family photo taken? What color did you wear, or are you going to wear? So hard to believe that Christmas is coming so quickly, only about 10 more weeks, to quickly for me.
The baby is due Feb.18. We are having the shower early, since the OB has already mentioned bed rest may be in order later on, and we didn't want to get to close to Christmas, too. She brought me her guest list, 65 people, SO Far. She also has her fathers warped sense of humor so she wants her cake in the shape of an armadillo, red velvet cake, grey icing, and she wants it wearing a pink tutu and bonnet. I don't even want to tell the bakery what I need for fear they will have me committed.0 -
Why you ask am I making so many short post. Since the site upgrade, I still can't post from my kindle or phone, and when I post from the laptop it will not allow me to make paragraphs. I have made mods aware, I'm not the only one having a problem with the new upgrades, so they are working to fix the kinks. Sorry if its annoying.0
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Nd, you've been a busy bee with all those beets. Have you had snow? So sad to see what the early blizzard brought to so many farmers and ranchers. So far we have had no need for heat and the AC hasn't been on either. Love it, the power company probably isn't as happy.0
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Half an hour until sunrise. Time to drink some breakfast, put on shoes and hit the park. Yesterday I walked 13,350 steps, that is suppose to be just over 6 miles. It feels great, except for the fact that I starve to death all day. Trying to eat small meals through out the day, and keep calories with in weight loss limits. So far I'm an epic failure, lost a few pounds, but it isn't coming off as quickly as I would like. On the upside, with these calves I could probably kick a mules butt.
HUGS to everyone.0 -
Oh gramwe, you crack me up!!
The boys sharing the ashtray is so funny, what if some well meaning friend called in and thought they'd help out by emptying the ashtray! You could find yourself scattered at a landfill!
I am with you, where's Bobo? I have refreshed the page on this damn laptop a hundred times today. Every time I have walked past I just had to see it there was another post from her, but nothing, nada, I need to know what happened.
I am happy if she is happy! M x0 -
That's a great effort gramwe, sorry you aren't seeing the results you want yet from all that walking. You will be reaping the benefits internally, and eventually you'll see the changes. The calves are first!
I got a letter from the Breast Care Nurse asking me to go to an exercise session at the Gym in town. It may be just what I need to get started. It is a BC specific class every Wednesday. I'll try the first one next week and see how it goes.
Airfryer still being used every day! M x0 -
Okay, I'm back, writing at the crack, first thing, Ariom-style. I've got a million things to do to get the kids ready, plus walk Bobo, but I realize I must explain. First off, loving the Granwe Renaissance! Keep those short posts coming! Bedroom is the color of real cream, with white trim. And OMG -- that cake from Steel Magnolias! Laughing! Just tell them it's the cake from Steel Magnolias. They will not think you are crazy. Feb 18th! I cannot wait! Our princess is Feb 6th. The baby will be a bad-a$s.
ND, I love your visiting kitties. I want to come to your house and eat beets. ND seems like a beautiful and exotic land. Z, so sorry about the F hormones -- and Idesim, I see you are channeling your bad feelings to the bad-a$s good. Excellent story. I can't tell you how many times I have sat in a meeting, dripping with sweat, hoping that no one would notice. M, four hairdryers sounds about right. Totally understandable amount of hairdryers. Ordered new one from amazon and it should come in a day or two.
Okay, the PS. Granwe, I was laughing -- PS or hypnotist? He was not a hypnotist. Nor was he on a bandwagon at all. In fact he was one of the more normal people I've met at the hospital. A New York person. I totally understood him. I know this story is going to sound like he was a Svengali as I tell it.
A little back story. Our princess is boob crazy. She's always snuggling against our boobies and holding a hand on one of them while I read her a story. I always felt badly that I couldn't breastfeed her! Occasionally she has seen my scars and we have talked about it. She's so concerned and grave and sweet. Yesterday morning, on my way to the PS, I stood brushing my teeth. I have been thinking, Now is the time to walk around without a shirt on. Soon you won't be able to do that. It would be too upsetting for the children. In fact, when I had the PMX left, I didn't look directly at the scar for nearly a year, and wouldn't show it to DLLP, because I was so freaked out about the scar. I am much more of a bad-a$s now, and have been through much more, but back then it was my first time. I realize looking at a BMX would be a lot for a seven-year-old. So I have been thinking about this closing window of walking around naked. Even though I think it's a valid idea to show our princess that you can be proud of who you are, rocking flatness, I think I would rock it with clothes on until she was older.
Anyway, yesterday she saw me, and she said to me, with her speech impediment, I see your scars. And I walked over and said again, Sometimes mommies have small things in their breasts that are not healthy, and the doctors take them out, and then the mommies can be healthy, and a scar is left behind. I have been prepping her, saying, it's okay to have scars. They don't hurt anymore. And she reached up and touched the long scar, and rested her cheek on my breast.
So back to the PS. Very highly regarded, BTW. Top ten PS in many journals. Came to start a center here. He didn't tell me any of that; I'd read it. He understands the situation about the BMX in a way that AF doesn't, and is behind it. He's against the need for Psych, but knows I can jump through the hoop. He put a note in my chart to that effect. I wasn't planning on talking about recon at all, the pros and cons, nor was I planning on being examined -- I shunned the robe, and sat fully clothed. I just ran down my history, then told him I'm not doing recon, I've thought about it for five years, asked him to do the close, and he said yes. He said, you know, recon is just prosthesis, but on the inside, and I said I wasn't planning on prosthesis. He didn't flinch. But then when he said, well, there may be a time where you see something at the store, and you want to wear it, but it will be difficult because of the scarring, I said, yes, I am aware of that, and I've been thinking about how dressing will change. And I am a little anxious about arriving flat at work, but I still don't feel that external prostheses are for me. It doesn't feel like a choice for me. And recon doesn't feel like it's for me either. I said look, this is your vocation, I don't want to insult you. And then I laid out all my reasons for no recon. The first one was this: I've seen pictures, and they are these mounds, with a scar running across, and tattooed nipples, and that doesn't really look that good to me. That's when he put up one picture on the projector, just one. And he said because my breasts are large, he could make it so there is no scar across. A skin-sparing mx. The nipple looked good. He makes it out of tissue.
I laid out my other issues, and he addressed them casually, one by one.
I don't want the longer recovery time, I'd read six weeks. He said, my patients have two to three weeks until they can drive, do everything they need to do. In fact, he said, I have my patients up and doing arm exercises before spiguel does.
I don't want big multiple sx, with all focus in the house on me. The implant exchange, etc. I don't want the drama of the 'fills' as they fill up the expander. I wouldn't want big breasts anyway. He said since my breasts are large now, they could do the whole fill during the mx. And if it was too full he could take some out before the exchange. He said the exchange is a day surgery, home an hour later, no drama. And the nipple recon can be done in his office under local, if you want it.
I said, no going back to hospital repeatedly for fills? He said, no.
Posting, for god's sake. You asked for it.0 -
I reply to myself. I said, I don't want repeat sx every ten years, I hear they have to be changed out. He said they used to be. The ones now not so much, unless there's something wrong. He's of the 'if it isn't broke, don't fix it' mentality. And I said I am a runner. I think I can't run with those things in. But he said the size I want would be no problem. There would be a period of no running after the sx, but I'm not running now anyway.
I said, what's your failure rate? It's .7 percent. And he said, if you're in the .7, if you get encapsulated, or you just don't like it, you can always explant and you'd be back to mx in the first place. No extra scarring, nothing. He had noted earlier where the scars would be for the mx with no recon, because of the size of my breasts now, they would go around to the rib cage. I had said I did not want dog ears. I swallowed and thought of the princess. And of DLLP, who has been supportive, but who I know is going to have a hard time. I thought of AF, who is going to have grad students work on me for the MX. The PS said he'd do the whole thing. And then I said to him, I am inclined to do it.
If I lived alone I wouldn't. I don't really want foreign objects in there. I don't want the extra hassle, even though it's less hassle than it was. He def said there is going to be more pain. He did not say discomfort. I wouldn't do it if it was just me. I wouldn't do it if our princess was fifteen. But she is seven. I would have additional pain for her, no problem, and for DLLP. W boy doesn't really care much about this issue, that's why he is not mentioned, but I'm sure he doesn't want to see scars either. So I have decided to do it. Thank you for loving me anyway. DLLP was absolutely gobsmacked when she heard. She would never have thought it would go this way.
And now, report in please! Hmm. I am not inclined to be cremated. But I have learned this week that it is possible to change my mind.0 -
Thank goodness Bobo, I thought you'd never post!
If this is right for you, and you trust this Surgeon, then I think it is great! Whatever you feel comfortable with, is the way you should go. Hugs from me........thank goodness I can go to bed now! Mx0 -
Bobo, Thanks for the post, sounds like you have a good ps and you can relate to him.. good deal. Whatever works for you is good.. we are not here to judge. I chose not to recon, dont like surgeries, I am a long distance from Mayo, I know they do a great job and wasnt looking forward to more pain, but then I really didnt have any with mx. I sometimes think about it but mostly am fine without. I know I can always have it if I chose later but now dont see that happening. I fully understand about your little princess. my granddaughters dont know. But they are 2,4, and almost 7.. the older one is such a worrier about any illness etc, I know kids to adapt much better then we adults give them credit for, but the parents said not just yet and that is ok with me, their choice.
Gramwe, like the ashtray story! I have one of those in basement.. but never thought of it for an urn!! I know someone who has his wife's ashes in urn on mantle and when he passes his ashes will be added to and then spread.. everyone has their own ideas.
No snow here yet, but yes how terrible that was in South Dakota, and now they got another 8 inches.. so sad to see all the cattle and sheep lost, just devastating for the ranchers, that is their living. We will likely have some flurries in the air soon but snow is not predicted just yet.. but in this country weather changes hourly. Baby shower sounds fun.. pictures of the cake please.0 -
This is bad, I really should be doing work today, but I just can't bring myself to get to it. I have to leave early too which is making me feel doubly guilty.. but I still can't bring my @ss to the crap on my desk.
Hell, Bobogirl, I want recon now with him, he sounds wonderful. I am so glad somebody sat down and listened to you. What size do you think you will go for.. you are very tall and thin, I can't even believe you carry around what you do now lol. The thought of multiple surgeries and fills and discomfort is what has turned me off as well, so you brought up valid points on not wanting it done. You talk of DLLP and the kids, but please don't forget about you as well.. it is after all your body and whatever you decide all the people in your life who love you will be fine with it... please believe that.
Granwe, as usual you have me in chuckles
Ndgirl, I sleep fine, I wake up soaking wet, but it does not wake me up... I think I have the opposite sleep habits of you.. Joe is astonished at what I can sleep through at times, but it's scary to think if I was every home alone and the house was on fire, I'd probably perish because I wouldn't wake up to the smoke detector lol. Sorry to hear you are still having sleep issues.. I can't imagine anything more frustrating except for this F'ing bloating lol.
I'm going to go catch up on this whole cremation/beet discussion lol.
Bobogirl, is Dec 6th your def surgery date or might it change? I hope it is that or around that time as I think it's perfect as you'll be right as rain by Xmas.0 -
I haven't caught up on the beet/cremation subject yet... I am feeling a bit defeated right now.. I will blame the Tami. I just got off the phone from this wonderful woman who has just been through the shits and back. She was widowed for like 15 years and remarried 6 years ago. Bought a house for her and new hubby and let the hubby talk her into taking out a sizeable HE on the home. She took care of his dying daughter in this home and found how this piece of sh1t was having an affair behind her back. When she went to visit her daughter in CA, he emptied the house and moved in with the woman he was having the affair with and now is not paying the mortgage. Of course, she is the sweetest woman around and we are trying to sort this out for her.. I want to just go and pay him a visit.. I feel the charles bronson in me coming out.. I'm so tired of this type of shit and people always destroying each other!!!0 -
Go get him Idesim.. what a piece of crap! always the sweetest nicest gals.. damn him!
just realized that 6 months ago today I was having my surgery! glad that is behind me and hope i can keep moving forward.. as the saying goes.. my how time flies! well in this case maybe not having such a good time.. but hey.. could be worse.0 -
so glad something finally went right and you found someone nice and supportive. Sounds like a McDreamy. Hope you didn't feel like we were questioning your decision. It's your body and your family. I wondered about the princess. We are all very happy for you.
It's hard to hear anything in the bag. GrammaB and I were blowing our noses, Idesim and Granwe were trying to get away from the beets, Wren and NDgirl were swapping cat stories and M was snoring:)0 -
Happy Anniversary ND! You have made it through some challenging times. I love that you told our Idesim to 'go get him.' I like it when you have a little bit of a potty mouth.
Z, our PS is def not McDreamy (!), but he seems proficient enough! I saw what was going on in that bag while I was kept waiting for 20 minutes. As a gang we are just getting worse and worse. Z, so kind of you to think of me that way and to say those kind words.
I am the most subversive of subversives: the anti-recon punk who is getting recon. And guess who else got recon. That's right! The girl with the dragon tattoo! I've got to make this something of an adventure for myself, since I understand it's going to be quite painful. Much more painful. Looks like I'm not going to have to get that tattoo for quite some time.
Roasted beets:
Quarter a bunch of beets (unpeeled, but scrubbed). Put them on a sheet pan with olive oil, balsamic (optional), salt and pepper. Roast at 400 until crispy outside and soft inside. Cool. You could sprinkle chopped parsley over before serving.0 -
Idesim, I reply to myself. Dec 6th was set, but now PS has to get with BS to make sure the schedules work. If not, they'll change the date. But it needs to be somewhere around there. I need to get some rest time in before kids are out for Christmas break.
M, I am getting more and more jealous of the air fryer.0 -
Good Morning everyone!
I have to be honest here, I have wrestled with your words all night Miss Bobo.
I sure don't want to upset or offend, and I hate that this is a written thing and not a face to face discussion. I don't want it to be misconstrued, or for me to be seen to be a meddler. I truly have your best interest at heart. I really care for you!
I really truly am happy if you are! I just have this awful nagging doubt that it isn't really, truly, definitively, what you want. I absolutely, understand your deep love and maternal protection of our Princess, I know you'd walk through fire for her, but when you say if she were a bit older you wouldn't do this, that you don't want foreign objects in there, and if you lived alone you wouldn't do it, it gives me cause to worry about what you are about to embark on.
I am so sorry if I am throwing any kind of spanner in the works. I so don't want to upset you or make you any more conflicted than I am sure you already are. I just want you to be 100% happy with your decision. It's no small thing to be going through.
The scar issue is a whole other thing. When I read of your reaction to the previous surgery, I have to understand that scars have an adverse affect on you, and this is partly your reasoning for the Princess. I get that, although dare I say, I think you'd be amazed at the resilience of children and how they adapt to anything that is presented in the right way. That unconditional love is a powerful thing!
Please don't think I am trying to sway you in either direction, whatever you decide is absolutely backed 100% by me and the others here.
When it comes to the surgeon, I am so happy that you've found someone with great credentials that you like, and feel is listening to you, but the pain issue concerns me, as does the one photo.
Oh hell, I don't want to sound controlling here. If your mind is made up and you're feeling good with it, I am so behind you in this! I just need to be sure you're ok!
Please don't think I am a meddler! We just worry about you! M x0 -
bobo, it sounds like you got yourself a great PS there! We each make our own choice and what ever it is, it is the right one for us. I can understand all your reasons for deciding to do the recon. Just be sure that it is what you want to do for yourself too. He sure makes the process sound a lot easier than much of what I have read on some of the threads here. Will be waiting with much interest to hear about how it all goes for you.
I too looked at a lot of pretty scary photos online of recons and that pretty much cemented my decision to go flat. But I am older, live alone, my children are both grown and are totally behind my choice. I have been going every where flat and most times without even a scarf. Its cold here now so I am wearing vests and fleece jackets and you can hardly tell I'm flat. It is pretty freeing actually!
Just don't you dare ever think you can't still hang out here!! :-)0 -
Bobo, me with a potty mouth... oh if you only knew!! I try to be better now that i have grandkids, but I make lots of slips, one son, with the girls, really gets on my if he hears it! and geez he is the worst, but not around them, my older son never swears, cant take after me, but my Dad was the same, no profanity from him and he didnt like people that used it.. i also didnt around him either!! Arent I two faced??? yea, I am jealous of the air fryer too, need more stories from Ariom about it. Dont you just hate decisions? but you do what is right for you, I think they were surprised I didnt choose recon as well, but not a word was said, but when I told the resident, a young man that I really liked, asked me I told him I dont like surgeries and he said neither did he and that is why he wasnt a surgeon, he worked with breast doctor. We are all behind you all the way and you better not leave this board or we will all come stalking you!!! Take care of your little princess and boy.. and of course yourself.0 -
Celine, the little kitty, had a vet visit today. They are afraid she is seriously ill and/or has cancer. They're treating her as tho it's the illness and we have the fun job of getting a boatload of meds down her twice a day. We'll probably be bleeding by day 3. They sent something out to the lab, so we may know more in a couple of days. She's on so much stuff, I made a chart so we can check them off as we go. I'm feeling pretty down this evening.
Bobo, you're our sister whether you're flat or not, so don't even think of leaving.0
