A place to greet and meet newbies to stage III
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Jenwith4kids, the surgeon is my second opinion. She has several degrees, one is "second opinion specialist." I am very weak from treatment also and my head is overflowing with questions that don't seem to have an answer. I guess the "doubt monster" is working overtime. Not a good thing the night before surgery. I'm a widow and am so worried about my 2 sons.
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BIG hugs, I didn't realize that surgery is tomorrow. She should have told you all the risks and what she is looking out for/worried about. I'm SURE she is an excellent doc - eventually you will be fine. The next few months will be rough - as if the last few haven't been. I'm sorry.
Do you have something to help you sleep tonight?
Jen
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Thanks, Jenwith4kids. I don't have anything to help me sleep, but many others in the pink sisterhood have slain the doubt monster before surgery and I will also, somehow. Love and hugs.
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glenfae...please know I'll be thinking and praying for you tomorrow!! Thankful you have such cautious doctors that will monitor you very closely after surgery!
Lisa84...hope you are done with chemo and are on the road to healing! Welcome we thankful you decided to hang out with us!
JFV...congrats on 4 years and being an example of encouragement to all of us! Empathy truly is a gift that comes after breast cancer and love when breast-cancer sisters encourage each other!!
Lolis....I found FEC to be a challenging chemo to get through but I did and so will you! Hopefully you're near the end if not already done!!
Skipper Jipper....thanks for hanging out with us!
Holeinome....congrats on having your port removed...such a wonderful feeling!
Dancingdiva....its so hard doing chemo while caring for children. But loving your two sweet kids will help remind you why your doing treatment and hopefully give you that extra strength to get through! I planned a lil something special to do on my good days between treatments to do with my family! It helped me have something to look forward to!
Truly welcome to all our new sisters and I hope having us in your lives will help this BC journey not be so lonely!
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Glefae I will also be thinking of you and praying for you.
I pray that all my stage 3 sisters have much peace and many blessings now and in the future.
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Glenfae, a lifetime of asthma and recurring pneumonia, along with weakness and a hammered immune system from chemo, is certainly a good reason to spend a couple of days in the ICU after surgery. Look at it as the difference between getting a pedicure at the corner shop, vs. a high-end spa where your every comfort is catered to. The ICU is the spa! The nurse to patient ratio in the ICU is 2:1, and they have the time to help you frequently cough, breathe deeply, get out of bed to walk regularly, monitor your pain...lots of attention that the regular floor nurses just don't have as much time to do. Your doctor is trying to be sure your post-op recovery is smooth and uneventful.
Also, I think you need to have a very open conversation with your surgeon and tell her you want complete and honest answers to your questions. No veiled references to "red flags" or "uncertain about outcome." You deserve it--the whole story--including the details.
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very well said, sbelizabeth
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yes, I meant Axillary lymph node dissection.....must have used the wrong acronym..sorry!
Glenfae, hope all goes well.
Feels good to meet u sisters. If ur treatment was AC, were you all given DD AC? I have no idea why my doc has not done this, seems to be unheard of in my city.
It scares me being in stage 3, seems like most people I meet are 0-2, so I' m out of the ballpark. Being here gives me hope that I will see my kids grow up to be adults. Hope, I've stated to eat much better and do exercise.
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Hey dancingdiva, I am also stage 3. We'll get through this.
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Hi Ladies,
Hope you all are doing well!!
DD welcome to this group :-)!!
Hopefour - yes the D part of FEC-D treatment has not been fun so far. I have two more treatments and get to finally ring that bell. I am glad though that my body is responding well to the side effects, it seems like 3 days is a lucky number for me (the achy bones and pains last for only 3 days for me so far).
We all will get thru this in one way or another!!!
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i think all you guys are going to do great, im here still, and i was BAAAD!! my breast surgeon told me the last time i saw her, they werent sure i was going to make it. i didnt ask her, what without dying? without finishing treatment? i dont have her as a bs anymore. got rid of her. i was probably more likely to not finish treatment. for some one who respects doctors and what they can do very highly, i never ever wanted to be in their clutches. so i want to tell you, ask all the questions you need to if thats what makes you feel better, it is YOUR body after all. just don't piss em off like i did! in spite of that, they still treated me. and i made it, even being as astronomically skittish as i am. hope it all goes event-free for all of you, and there are some excellent women here on bco, and please be gentle with yourselves!
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thank u for welcoming me. I feel scared to be here,but this is where I am. And hearing other peoples stories, truly gives me hope. Can't help but wonder how much time do i have and I haven't asked. At this pt, I need lots of hope to stick around for a longtime to see the kids grow up.
Kathec, what did u do to peeve them off? Sometimes I feel I am doing the same with my surgeon. Pm if u want. I do question what they do and ask questions.
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Dancing, hey. I was actually told that i asked too many questions. And i will pm you tonight later, my boyfriend wants to watch a movie, and he has been waiting patiently for a long while now, i better go!
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Greetings, all!Seems like every time I Google a concern of mine I end up at these forums...figured I may as well join and say HI to all the fine and very helpful folks I've seen posting here
...I'm a bit past halfway thru my (6) chemo treatments - go in for session #5 (TC) tomorrow - have been holding up fairly well so far but side effects are definitely hitting me harder, and 'good days' are getting fewer...sigh ...I do have a big dog that forces me to go out walking every day and I think that really helps...even when I don't feel like it...lol
Take care everyone....and hang in there!!
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Welcome, Suhera! Sounds like you are doing great, and it's about time you hooked up with all the fine women here! Just exploring bco is kinda fun, in a weird way. Sorry that you had to join us though.
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I just joined yesterday and not even sure if this is where I'm suppose to post?? I am at a point right now where I'm not feeling very hopeful. I have amazed myself how I've handled things til now. I've always been a very negative person and I am learning to try and think positive and I think I have been. (until now
) I've been coughing a big lately and have decided it's probably gone to my lungs. I wish I wouldn't think this way. Since being diagnosed April 2013 I have had a chest X-ray (my surgeon required it)... it showed a shadow or something so they ordered an MRI. It came back fine. Now that I'm coughing I feel like once again they missed it. My tumor was missed back in late 2009. I had a dimple under my right nipple and went to get it checked out. Doctor said she didn't feel anything but I went and had a digital Mammo. It came back fine. Well, it really wasn't. IT WAS MISSED AND I'M HAVING SO MUCH TROUBLE LETTING THAT GO! I have no faith in negative results now I guess. Sorry for complaining, that wasn't my intent. On another subject, I'm dealing with such awful frizzy hair (I know I should be grateful some hair grew back) that it's making me even more depressed. I've tried all kinds of products and nothing helps. My hair was layered and straight and shiny and shoulder length. Now it looks like I put my finger in a light socket. I know it's not the most important thing, but for me right now I just want to have some control over something! Has anyone had this experience with their hair? I had my last infusion Oct. 31st 2013. Halloween, can you believe it! LOLThanks
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Lexie2002! Welcome to you too. You sound more like me, i got so mad at some of the things that happen when you arent certain you can trust them or the tests. i am not that trusting of mammograms either, i am suprosed actually that a digital one missed it too, or maybe it is the radiologists who read them. and i am hoping that we can trust mri's! I am probably not the best person to greet you and assuage your feelings about the mammo missing it, because i ALWAYS think the imaging AND the doctors are ALL missing something! And i have had a lot of anger about the whole thing. i had my first infusion on a sept 11, that was weird for me. You can post anywhere you like, or where ever it seems relevant. i hate seeing new people here.
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positive thinking won't cure you, but it might make it easier on the people you find yourself in contact with. don't burn any bridges if you can help it, you never know, and that is always a good thing to have: people on your side.
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Very shocking since I ALWAYS had my Mammograms. I thought if they ever did find something it wouldn't be too far along because of
always getting them. I had them every year. Well if I had known I had Dense breasts I would have pushed for another screening, like an
MRI. I know now it's the law that they tell women if they have dense breasts. Lot a good it does me now. My ob gyn I liked a lot. She's the one who
said (when I asked her Well, what could it be then? Why is there a dimpling?) She simply told me it could be cellulite or my age. (This was late 2009.) That was hard to swallow, it sounded dumb to me. I guess I chose to believe her....
Wish the heck I could go back. So two normal mammograms later then the
third one April, 2013 my whole world changed. I was seriously more worried about colon cancer than breast cancer. I didn't know there was even
more than one kind! I hate this crater in my chest. It's so ugly but if it saved my life to do three freakin surgeries I guess I can deal with it. So as far as we know it had been there since late 2009. It was actually almost 2010. Who knows how long it was there....
Thanks so very much forwriting me. I have a question, if you write under one subject do the other women have to be on that board to see any of my posts???
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lexie - yes, each "thread" is only viewed by the women who have chosen to post or follow that thread. There is a good thread called "hair,hair, hair" where you might find some answers to your hair questions.
I can appreciate all the "mad" feelings, since I'm here with a recurrence this time. But Kathe is right - don't burn your bridges on the "outside". You can bitch to us at BCO all you want since we've all been there.
Welcome & welcome to Suhera.
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Crap, Minus, I didn't realize that you had a recurrence. It hasn't even been that long. crud. And you had been followed closely during that time? How the heck did it get that big? And all in the nodes? Now that is really depressing. I see that yu had the gummies. did they say that is part of the reason, that the tumor was obscured? I am so sorry to hear that. I said that about burning bridges because i was seriously unhappy with part of what happened to me during treatment, and i am afraid now they wont sign disability papers for me. They told me that mine was in there for 8 years. the last year i had done a mammogram. I knew they told me i had dense breasts but didnt tell me what that meant except for less fat. so i was proud about it, and i knew nothing about bc, except i had heard of the halstead radical mastectomy, and that people died from it. i never knew there were different types either.
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Kathe - Well, "they" got EVERYTHING when I had the BMX in 2011. I really think they did too. But when I went for my 2 year NED check up there was a lump just under my collar bone. Not related to implants. Turned out to be lymph nodes, and a nasty HER2+ kind. They think a micro met must have escaped somehow. I too had mammos every year starting in 1974 for crying out loud. Many years I was called back for additional screening mammos too due to dense breasts. And yes, I think part of it is the skill of the mammo tech & part the skill of the radiologist who reads the darn things. Sigh.
My latest bitch is my MO is retiring. He is an absolute jewel. I know he deserves the best wishes, but I still feel abandoned. Also I wanted a PET/CT before he left. He says there are problems getting insurance companies to pay for the now. Excuse me - I have been been in 18 months of continual treatment for recurrence & I'd like to start the next phase at least knowing I'm "clean", even if temporarily.
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welcome Suhera and Lexie. I am new too.
Lexie and Kathec, our stories are similar. I always had US because of my 32G dense breasts for years. Last one was in 2010,negative. Last fall sept 2013, I took a Zumba class and boob was hurting. Also noticed some denseness in upper breast, went for US, 3cm fibroadoenema under nipple. Sent to surgeon who looked me over in 5 sec, claimed pain was not sign of bc and sent me home. Hey, I was happy. Must be the exercise. Follow up in 6 mths. 4 months later, pain is getting worse under arm and chest, nipple starts hurting, go for US. No change. Surgeon repeats himself about pain, feels nothing wierd. But was referred for biopsy. Was not being called for one though be cuz I wasn't rush. 2 wks later nipple is inverting so called hospital, biopsy next day, 2 wks later IDC diagnosis. When I had surgery, surgeon took out the dense part i had pain at as well. all Bc. So I had a huge tumor that wasn't even seen by US. I had a lumpectomy bcuz they were only taking out what they saw in US. After chemo these babies are coming out.
I should have been told to have MRI, but no one did. Now this is the law in the UStates? That is great. I'm in canada.
So,yes i am angry and yes I'm pessimistic...OMG we could all be sisters!!! So f-ing tired of people telling me to be positive.
Kathec and Minus, what are gummies?
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dancing diva - gummies are Allergan 410 anatomical silicone implants. There are other silicone implants, but traditionally these Allergan 410s were the ones called gummies. I believe they were the first anatomical implants.
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lexie2002, I think you'll find the anger about the screenings NOT finding our cancers a pretty common theme here. I know I was/am! But, all you can do at this point is start the journey from where you are now. For me, time has helped me realize that carrying bitterness around about what should have been will not help me to heal. When your mortality is dangled precariously over a cliff, like it has been for all of us, it's just a waste of precious time to consume your thoughts with anything but the journey forward. My hope for you is that as space between diagnosis and recovery grows, you'll make peace with the fact that you can't change the past but you sure as hell can take control of your future. Take good care of you!
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Thanks guys for the words & welcomes.
I know what you mean about trying to stay positive, most days I do and got to hang in there for teenage daughter and not scare her on those days I feel like running out of house screaming like banshee WHY and wanting to jump in cold cool lake....other times I'll take myself and my pale bald head out on the porch and sit serene in the noonday sun soaking up the rays and the vitamin D and realize how good it is to be alive at this moment.....! (before I remember chemo =photosensitive and I better move inside before I'll have melanoma to worry about too)
I've been kicking myself for NEVER having had a mammogram. At a still pre-menopausal 54 I should have known better but I've always been leary of doctors, labs, tests...ugh. No cancer in family, breast-fed 3 kids, walk a lot, heck I sure eat a lot of broccoli....!! ...but you just never know. Did regular self-exams...nothing. One day sitting at table reading eating toast scratching armpit I notice grape-sized lump floating just beneath the skin in center of armpit, nowhere close to breast. Figured I'd mention it to doc next checkup, coming up soon. Wow. Went from 0-50 getting on THAT train. 2 weeks later I was in surgery, and awaiting test results and more scheduled scans to see how far advanced the cancer might be. Scary stuff indeed.
Well sorry I didn't mean to ramble on so this early - already pumped up on steroids for today's chemo and got notepad full of questions for the good doctor, haha....!
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Good luck to you today Suhera! One thing i do remember, is while you are in it, its like you are on autopilot, and just do what you have to do. it is hard, but doable.
i have many good days that i appreciate greatly. but there are parts of many of those days, that i do approach a kind of rage about it all, i guess i am still processing it all.
the thing for me now is, about six months ago, all these nodes left in my armpit, and on the outside curve of my breast, and my breast itself, and even in my upper arm are really really hard, and they keep telling me that it is just the other nodes doing the job of the missing ones. they did a biopsy in january that said benign glandular tissue, and i did have mri, but i think they missed it. i just feel like there is something really wrong that they are missing. i did ask my onc for a pet/ct scan, and it did not show any of this. but i think it was a cat scan that i had at the beginning that showed right renal uptake and subcentimeter nodules in my lung, and now there was no mention of those things. Was/am i really stage lV? because i know from reading here, they do miss things, and they can't see things sometimes.
but i am ranting now and realy off topic. its just that none of those tests showed how big my original nodes that were taken out were: 2.5 cm's.... and i just feel these, and they hurt, and they are beginning to interfere with my range of motion.
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Suhera & Lexie
Welcome to stage 3 group. The club no one wants to belong..
Lexie, we all feel that it was missed by our previous mammo. I had a breast exam by my personal Dr. Just a few months before mammo. She did not find it either.
Suhera, Try not to beat yourself up about the mammo. I went every year ( for the last 3 years, skipped a few years before that ). My dx is similar to yours. My ? Was to Dr. How could such a small tumor cause so much damage. They said no way to know with breast cancer. My nodes were bigger than the tumor, all matted together & bursting out. Good luck with the last 2 infusions. I was tired for a solid month after my last chemo. Then comes radiation.
Dancing diva, I agree with you, I would get so irritated on the just stay positive crap. I tried, always to be pleasant to all the hospital & chemo staff. It was friends that drove me batty. Now, its something that happened last year, over, done, no biggie. That's why coming to these boards help, we all get it.
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holeinone, the same thing with me as with you. tumor small, nodes a mess.
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kathec, I have been thinking of you and wondering how you are? Are the medics happy to leave you with this `node issue` ongoing? It feels like you have exhausted every possibility now. It`s so difficult to know what to do next in these circumstances as I know well.
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