A place to greet and meet newbies to stage III
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Aisha....yes, the fear does diminish....the longer you get from Dx and finishing Tx and life goes on the more the beast and fear of recurrence goes to the back of your mind and isn't the first thing you think of when you wake up.....
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Lymph nodes are a kind of spread but if you look at añ anatomical drawing you can see the tail of a breast ends in the armpit and it is connected.......
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Hi all. I am just starting taxol and am thrilled to be over the ac. Maybe im not such a newbie anymore but every new phase of treatment makes me feel like i am. I will say this, its been a really scary ride. I most certainly will never be the same and am hoping to find my voice again and get back some peace. I also miss my sense of humor. I feel lke a completely different person.
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Ellie
The hard part is over. You still have mountain to climb, but they arent as steep and hard as diagnosis and AC. I just had phase 2 of deip recon yesterday. Feel great0 -
karen, i hope what u said about time will work for me because i don,t feel tha same again, i don,t even want to buy clothes, my big problem is i can,t have MRI scan because i,m scared to go in side, please is the MRI scan different pet scan because i only had CT scan thanks aisha
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I am a newbie. I had a bilateral mas 3 wks. ago. I also had 18 positive nodes. I never dreamed that I would have that many, either did my surgeon. My concern is that maybe I should have had chemo before my surgery, and maybe would not have had so many nodes. I will be starting chemo is about 2 wks. I am so glad to have this site to go to for support. I have been on here since I was diagnosed. When i get to feeling low, I will read the many wonderful stories and feel that I to can make it. Trying to stay positive, but sometimes it is really hard!!! I have a wonderful support group(family and friends, but sometimes it is better to hear from people who have been through this difficult journey. Thanks so all the wonderful tips and support!!!!
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Hello Ladies!
I'm not actually a newbie had my last chemo 10/2/12 and last radiation 4/2/13. Was diagnosed 2/15/12.
Oh I remember how I felt after my first surgery. Went in thinking I was stage zero or one coming out stage 3a with 6/10 nodes positive! My heart broke at the thought of my kids growing up without me. Sad depressed scared looked out the window wondering how many more sun rises or sunsets I would see. So much love and support from family and friends but as you know unless you have experienced it can't understand.
So today I can honestly say it gets better with time. I know it doesn't seem like it but once you are done with treatment you think less about dying and just live normally again. No you will never be the person you were before BC you will be stronger having lived through treatment. The fear is always there but one day you will wake up and BC won't be on your mind.
This is what I learned. The way we look at things can affect our moods and thought of out come. Yes the more node the worse the prognosis but as many have said just statics. Think of it this way, lymph nodes are there as protectors, to catch the cancer before it goes to an organ so they did their job. Some people have 40 lymph nodes so only having 3, 10, 20 ect still give you many nodes that are cancer free.
Chemo, surgery, radiation hormonal therapy all increase the chances that our bodies are cancer free. No one can guarantee that we won't get it again nor can they say we will as with all diseases. You will be on meds for depression, sleep, anxiety ect for a long time if needed and that's ok. I wasn't on any meds except for high cholesterol before than I was on what seem to be 20 or more for all kinds of issues now just on tamoxifen and Effexor for hot flashes.
As for as not being cured my MO told me this "We cure stage 3 all the time" as far as he's concerned I'm cured until something tells him it's back. He only uses NED for stage 4 patients. No scans unless symptoms just routine bloodwork. It like glass half empty half full. Living life being cured is easier than walking around NED. So it's your outlook on life. I know at this moment that's very dark and scary but there is light at the end of the tunnel and life after treatment.
Just be patient with yourself. Uncertainty, the unknown about treatments working or if they got it all, sadness, dispear ect is normal. Some people take months others years but eventually it will be ok. I never thought the day of treatment would end but it did and so will yours!
Sorry for the short novel but stage 3 is scary and I want to offer hope to those who are where I was😊0 -
waving hi to Sharon. I am on otherside waiting for you
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HI ladies. I am a Stage IIIC er Oldster " out" 8 years. To the newbies: this is not an easy road to travel, but you will negotiate and get through it. The playing field has changed and us stage III laadies get the " Big Guns" in the way of treatment. It's a rough ride, but ultimately the chances are excellent that you all will be fine. Please be gentle on yoursleves take one day at a time, Come her often for support, to vent or just to feel better.
There are a wealth of Stage III women out there doing great, busy with their lives!
Also, remember fear is part of the " beast", especially in the early days, but I promise you one day will wake up and not even think of BC!
I wish you all a gentler ride, and peaceful, comforting days ahead.
I wish you all a gentle " ride" and look forward to welcoming you to the oldster club
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Hi everyone, I'm a stage IIIer since 2009 but I still have questions regarding my diagnosis. Every now and then I peek at my pathology report to refresh myself on all of the information especially when I learn something here.
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Seaglass, good to have you on board.
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Hello, I'm another stage 3 gal. I was diagnosed last summer at age 32. Its almost been a year, I'm still getting herceptin and just started tamoxifen.
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Welcome to you newbies...I love the encouragement written here...I still need it at times myself!I just pasted my second year from DX and 17 months out of the end of treatment. The first year out of treatment I spent working hard to regain myself in strength both mentally and physically. I re-figured how I wanted to move forward after BC...I lost relationships that proved to be to weak to make it to the other side of BC..I changed my eating habits, exercised daily and read everything I could about what may or may not help to keep this horrid BC from coming back. The battle for my mind was big for me....fear was always there! I was always counting to see if I would still be alive at a certain time that was important in the future....would have these waves of "really I had BC??? Still so unreal this all really happened to ME"!
The waves of fear have gotten less...my new life stlye has become comfortable and normal for me...I have new relationships that are an encouragement to me...and I deeply admire those of you with young children or who are young dealing with BC....you have my prayers!! I found encouragement, info and understanding here. Most important is that here I never feel alone...I have sisters here who know each others fears, loneliness, battle and hope... I hope the same for you all!!
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Another not so newbie here too, but still a stage lll'er.
Welcome to any newbies, and thanks to those who have helped me get this far.
Hopefour- yes, I have that: 'Did it really happen to me?' - thing too! -It's a strange feeling.
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Hi All,
I am a newbie to stage III. I was originally given a clinical 2b stage; had neo-adjuvant chemo therapy then a mastectomy. The pathology report came back with a nasty little suprise I am stage 3C. I hate it, I am so scared and worried about what the future holds. Any who I will say that I am going to fight this cancer, more than anything I want to grow old with my husband.
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Thank you for starting this thread. I don't know how recent your diagnosis needs to be to qualify for "newbie" status, but I consider myself one. I found a lump (more like a small egg) under my right arm in early January and was diagnosed officially in early February. I started neoadjuvant chemo in mid-March, and by that point I had grown a large and ugly tumour in my right breast and had a palpable node under my left arm, of the exact same kind of bc, which the oncologist considers a metastases. I've done four rounds of A/C and one round of Taxotere (3 to go), and it still feels surreal to me that I have cancer. Early in the Fall I will have a double mastectomy along with dissections of both axillary areas. Then 5 weeks of radiation. I have a son who is almost ten years old, and an amazing husband, and I am so afraid of losing the future with them. I have been reading posts on this website for many months. I have so many incredible friends and close family who are supporting me through every minute of treatment, which I am so grateful for, but I yearn to connect with other women who understand what it's like to have a diagnosis this serious. It helps to know that others have come through this gruelling treatment, and all the dark thoughts, and are doing well.
Wishing you all the best.
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Welcome to the both of you! Many of us thought we were stage 2 only to come out of surgery stage 3, but this is a wonderful place to connect with other gracious, encouraging woman who understand this BC journey! You guys are not alone with your fear for the future, but hopefully here some of the fear will be replaced with HOPE. Love the fight attitude and there are lots of ways to continue to "fight" after treatment is finished. Many exercise, change diet, use supplements, remove stress ( and the people who cause it) and so on! There's lots of info and books concerning building a life style after cancer...but that's a personal choice!!
So wish I could tell you both that BC will not come back ( wish someone would say it to me), but I can tell you that there are lots of stage 3 woman who are many years out and it hasn't come back....so hang tight to that Hope!! Having a little one does make it harder I think, but don't let fear take today just treasure it more and watch the days add up and hopefully you'll watch your grand-kids grow up too!!
I am two years out from DX and feel me again..it does come back, but I did have to work to get to this point. The fear gets exhausting....it hard handling fear every moment and over time my fear became a wave that would hit from time to time, but it hits less and less....not all gone, but it doesn't take me to my knees anymore!
So glad you are hanging out with us...your stage 3 sisters!!
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Mgdsmc, thank you for sharing your story. It is so good to hear you are doing well.
started treatment last week, so hearing positive stories is an inspiration. Thank you.
Karen0 -
I'm another Stage III who thought I was a Stage II prior to surgery. Diagnosed 11/30/12, left BMX 01/17/13. I finished dose-dense AC/T in May and am half way through radiation. Will start Tamoxifen in late July or early August. For most of the time, my fear has been kept in check since starting chemo, but I suspect it will return when I'm done with active treatment. So good to hear from all of you who are in the same boat!
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Just wanted to give some hope...I was Stage 3a out of the gate with a large tumor. I'm 13 months past chemo and almost one year out from Rads - had single MX. In that mix, I had a heart attack from AC and had to stop Herceptin after 3 months also because of heart. That's all the bad news. The good news is I feel better than I have since diagnosis in Oct 2011.
My fear level lessens with each day. I write a BC Blog and hear from hundreds of women. Who knew that would be all the good that came out of this. My biggest passion is to give others hope. There is life after BC - keep up the great work!
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I'm a stage IIIa who thought I was a IIb until I had a pet scan a week ago. Had my first chemo Friday and am surviving with some nausea, feeling tired and a little muddle headed. Ready for the fight of my life! Bring it on! Just leave the SE behind please.
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Thanks for the encouragement Denise-G! Welcome GraceB1...sounds like you have a fighting spirit, but always know we're here for you when you're weary of the fight. I think the muddle head was the worst for me...just didn't feel like me...it does pass after treatment and in time you will feel more like yourself everyday!! I focused on one treatment at a time and planned something special for the "good days" between treatments. I remember thinking I can't do another chemo treatment, but I always did and am thankful I am on the other side as you will be too!!
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what do you'll thnk about low dose estrogen use for menopausal women-not me!- but a friend at work with no BC history. Her gyno thinks its a good idea for 5 years to help maintain her bones. I told her I didn't think that was a good idea
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Hi ladies,
Glad to see this group. I have IIIa IDC. I had my lumpectomy and sentinel node and node dissection June 12, a chemo port July 1 and my first AC on July 18. #2 will be next Thursday. What hits my head with a bomb of fear late at night is concern that if recurrence, it would likely come back at a higher level. So throat constricts and worry that I don't have a lot of room before stage IV. I have generalized anxiety disorder - ya think?! But seriously, though having guided imagery CDs about going through chemo and boosting my immune system I have a a brain that contemplates the worse that can happen so never will I be surprised. Trying to be very positive but there is an undercurrent of this fear "what if?" Goal is to get me cancer free. Scared about what signs I may not know about that would lead me to conclude I am high(er) risk of recurrence. Can't do much about recurrence danger? Don't want to allow negativity to be in my brain as believe our will to live and positive attitude is far more helpful. Rambling. 2:05 am. Hard to not be judgmental about my fears but cripes, I have had surgery and one chemo with 7 more and 6 1/2 weeks of radiation but I am already worrying about possible recurrence and no wriggle room to survive it. Sheila with the brain that swallowed Manhattan. :-)0 -
Hi Sheila and welcome! You are in the right place
I think anyone here who claims never to think about and worry about recurrence/stage IV would probably be lying.
Thing is, whatchagonnadoboutit? My conclusion is that if I turn out ot be one of the lucky ones who ends up surviving a long time and dying of a stroke in ripe old age, then it would be really, really stupid to have wasted that boon on freaking out and worrying for years on end. On the other hand, if I am unlucky and end up croaking from cancer in two years, all the MORE reason not to waste whatever time I have on an ongoing anxiety attack (and I hear you, I too have anxiety issues). So, after mulling this one, I basically can't see any good reason to be a ball of nerves and I do my very best not to be.
In some ways, I think it is a matter of habit. If I find myself slipping, I take steps to turn myself around - a good walk, a nice dinner a good laugh, friends etc.
Also, I try my best to live a decent lifestyle without having it take over. So, I exercise daily, I keep my weight steady, I eat my veggies and go easy on the booze. All those seem to be associated with reduced risk.
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Sheila~~I agree with Momine. We really never know what tomorrow holds. There's always a chance of dying....accidents, infections, heart attack, stroke. Worrying wont keep recurrence away. As a matter of fact, I believe worry & stress actually feed cancer ( my theory).
I have a friend on the this forum who's aunt was diagnosed 20 years ago. Her dx was exactly like mine, IDC, 5.6 cm, 13/16 nodes. She's still here to encourage me, and she's never been upgraded to stage IV.
Don't play the "What If Game." Just live your life to the fullest everyday.
Blessings
Paula0 -
Thank you Momine and Paula. I have to grab ahold of my meditation practice and do it for 30 min in the morning and 30 min st night. And pray to be in acceptance and grace to live in the moment. I needed to hear your reminders -and validation that it is scary as I have been bopping around being so positive with this deep worry festering. So now spiritually lanced and believe I can heal. {{{{hugs}}}}} Sheila
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Sheila, you will be fine, even if there wil be some bumps in the road. Hang on to laughter, meditation, good company, pets or whatever keeps you grounded in the moment.
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Sheila.....the gals here have given you some great advice....As scarey as BC Dx is, it is doable....there are many of us stage 3 gals who have been around for a number of years....me, I'm 7 years out since Dx. There is no rhyme or reason on who progresses to stage 4 but don't let that rule your head.....think positive...get through your treatments....the longer you are here, the easier it gets.....Hugs,
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Hi Karen, I'm not a newbie, but sure needed your encouragement today!! Congratulations! Denise
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