Stage 2 Sisters Club

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  • ssales13
    ssales13 Posts: 78

    maggie15 Thanks. I have been lurking on the stage 4 threads. Take care

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Posts: 47,960

    Oh Stacey, I am so sorry to read your news. Please don't despair. There are plenty of women on the Stage 4 threads who have had long, full lives since their diagnosis (some a decade or two ago). One Stage 4 thread I peek on occasionally (because I'm friends with a couple ladies there) is titled 'Life does not end with a stage IV diagnosis (really!)', and I know there are Stage 4 Zoom meetups too. Please keep coming back here & let us know what's going on. 💓

  • ssales13
    ssales13 Posts: 78

    ruthbru thank you. My breast surgeon is really unsupportive and I haven’t met the oncologist yet but losing hope that she will be any better. I’m sorry to be so doom and gloom but I feel like this is a death sentence. My daughter and mom and brother and husband ( separated) are around me and all of them are sad and I’m sad and scared. I’m 53. It’s so exhausting pretending I’m gonna make it through this. Thanks for listening

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Posts: 47,960
    edited January 1

    Surgeons like people better when they are unconscious, and are famously known for their lack of bedside manner! If you don't click with your oncologist, find a new one! There are many options. I have a personal friend here in town who was diagnosed at Stage 4 when her son was a junior in high school & her daughters were in college. Her son is now 30 years old. All the kids are married & she has 3 grandchildren. Once they get the cancer in remission, you can have many good years ahead. Hugs!!

  • ssales13
    ssales13 Posts: 78

    ruthbru thank you for the encouragement ! I really hope that can be me too.

  • maggie15
    maggie15 Posts: 1,547

    Stacey, Meet the oncologist first before making your decision. Surgery is often not done for a stage 4 diagnosis. Most of my post surgical interaction has been with the surgeon's PA since the surgeon only deals with problems needing surgical correction. If you are not happy where you are UMD is another decent option. I join Ruth in wishing you many good years ahead.

  • ssales13
    ssales13 Posts: 78

    thank you maggie15 I will.

  • Just checking how you are doing? Any updates?

  • ssales13
    ssales13 Posts: 78

    hi @asbirdwell i went to oncologist. He said im stage 4 Mets to bones. I have an appointmentho on the 24th for a bone biopsy and then I see him again on February 3 rd to start an anti hormonal pill and another type of medication. He said no to chemo , radiation and surgery. Said he doesn’t see the benefit for me. He asked if I wanted to know Statistically how long I had and I told him no. I did ask if his other stage 4 patients were living longer than he thought. He said yes they were between 5 and 10 years at the moment. He said I’ll be going once a month to see him.

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Posts: 47,960

    Thanks for the update, ssales. One hopeful thing to consider is that new treatments are being developed all the time. As you go forward, there will be more effective and targeted options coming out all the time. Sending a hug your way!

  • maggie15
    maggie15 Posts: 1,547

    Hi Stacey, It sounds like you have an oncologist that you are comfortable with. The published survival statistics are out of date since they are from a time before some of the new treatments were being used. There is one woman who posts, @denny123, who has been stage 4 for 23 years. That is probably not the norm either but it shows it is possible. I hope the bone biopsy goes well. I had one done on my mandible which went fine. The oral surgeon took what seemed like a lot of bone but he explained the sample has to be dissolved in acid and separated in a centrifuge before the pathologist can examine the cells. I hope your treatment is tolerable, effective, and lasts for many years.

  • ssales13
    ssales13 Posts: 78

    @ruthbru thank you! I appreciate your kind words.

    @maggie15 thank you I appreciate it!