January 2014 Surgery Sisters
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Okay. GOT IT. Thanks!
I belong to another thread at a different site and insurance is always a hot topic for discussion, especially this time of year. Yes, I am interested in how others do it, too, and how much they pay vs. get for benefits. I need to stay informed in case I end up needing different insurance, which I will probably need sooner rather than later, depending on what happens with DH's recovery. There's something wrong in this country that everyone can't have access to medical care that they can reasonably afford. Ok, nuff on that!
M
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Anne!!!!
I missed your post.
Oh boy I DO get political and extremely agitated about health insurance ( and everything else)...but I'll be good here.
Am in total agreement about cancer care as opposed to other diseases or lack of an erection...can cure THAT but not BC. WTH. Only 50% of women that take an AI or Tamox last 1 year. The stuff is so nasty. I don't know how women do it.
I admire everyone for hitting BC full bore....but it is an individual fight. You have to take into consideration ALL of your physical issues and life issues and spiritual stuff....I mean on dying ...I ask myself where am I in the whole of things. If I had to say...I don't want to nor am I ready to leave...not just yet. I am about to turn 60. Another 20 or 30 years would be awesome but only if I am fairly with it and not a huge burden on anyone. If living NED for 5 years without crappy drug side effects, well then so be it. I'll take it from there. Again I promise I'll listen to everyone.
Some of you have small kids/grandkids....I have a step son who is 12 that begged me "not to die" when I went for surgery last week. Wow, that just pulled my heart right out of my chest.
I am so happy that you are having two new little ones to enjoy this coming year. Babies are the best! Congratulations.
love you Anne and all
E
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happy New Year ladies!! Here's hoping and praying for only good news for 2016!! My wishes for the new year; no cancer, no surgeries, lose weight (about 50 pounds would be wonderful!!!), enjoy my family and last but certainly not least, get my mojo back!!! 😀 Wear those tiaras proud my friends!
Love each of you and pray for you often
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yes,,,to mojo!!! o
Happy new year to all of you wonderful friends. We are 2 years out from diagnosis...and (almost) surgery...wow...what a ride.
2 Years ago I felt as if I was at the beginning of a huge roller coaster ride, which I hate with all I can muster..(.scares me right to death) You know that feeling of climbing up and up and up? Not knowing if it is a small downhill or a frightening huge down hill? The downhill, after surgery wasn't so scary. I was lucky. Just not a big deal.
I feel the same now even with "it" coming back. I feel calm and in control much more than last time. We'll see what next year brings......should be interesting.
Hoping for good health, healing, and freedom from thinking about cancer for 2016.
HAPPY NEW YEAR
Eve
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Happy New Year to all my Sisters! Mojo would be great, weight loss yep...good health for all HECK YES!! Let's ring in the new year with renewed hope and strength!
Love to ALL my brave sisters...Eve, Mary, Ann, Anne, Beverly, Alexandra, Linda, Marissa, Laurie, Polly, JoAnne, Rosie and Michelle.
Diane
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Happy New Year and here's to celebrating two years of our January Sisterhood.
We've all had our own unique journeys, but have "held hands" through it all and shared the ups and downs of that roller coaster ride. I'm so glad our little group is still going strong. Life is so unpredictable, isn't it? But we will take whatever comes our way and handle it with grace and courage, and okay, sometimes downright panic and fear. But hey, it's all about being authentic with our feelings, right Eve? As long as you're crying with your tiara on, it's all good, lol! Thank you all for being here.
A very Happy, Healthy and Hopeful New Year to us all!
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happy New Year Diane
you kept the "list" I have it too. I carry it with me at all times.
Had a breakdown trying not to cry moment tonight. Hubby came home early...yay!!! He brought a package with him that said "RACHEL" on it...stupid me ...I thought it was a gift....you know 'cause I was feeling kinda down from the dx.
ROTFLMAO you know a sexy underwear or PJ gift...it said Rachel on the box after all.....Ummmmm no!
It was packed by miss rachel and it was filled with his pipe tobacco. lol so funny. But at the same time I realized that this new tumor scares me and I am a lot more emotional about "it" than I thought.
Of course Nate is ....i'll buy you anything, honey...so funny....I did get my fav pizza....so we are all good.
have a safe and wonderful new years Y'all....
Love you to the max!!!!!
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You know Mary,
Yes. AND yes!!! being authentic, or now after all the crap we have been through...who has time for trying to be someone we are not? There is precious little time.
There is only recognizing that each moment is the most spectacular moment that we have. That second will never come back, will never be renewed.
So sometimes we have to think first before we lose it...before we get angry or frustrated...can't get that energy back...BUT BUT BUT there are times where we do not allow ourselves to feel what we feel and THAT is just as bad.
Interesting times....we all have been challenged to think and feel differently.. Challenged to look at our futures in a different way than before. But I am trying to choose to see in a bolder kind of way. Bigger and better....not so small and scared. I don't know...how have you all changed???
E
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Like you, Eve, I realize how fleeting time is and how precious each day is. One by one each day adds up to a life. I've learned to spend my time wisely and not waste it worrying about people who really and truly don't care about me.
With this realization comes regret, of course. Just one example of many....I think of my mom and how much I miss her. I see her everywhere in everything she gave me, or did for me, or said to me - but it's too late, she's not here anymore. I didn't appreciate her while she was here. I need to learn from that, but it's a hard lesson.
I've changed in so many ways. I'm more forgiving of myself. I am more honest and compassionate with myself and that helps me be more compassionate with others. I've noticed that the biggest changes come about when I admit when I'm wrong - it opens up so many possibilities.
Cancer has a way of quickly prioritizing life. It makes things all of a sudden become very clear. What is important, what is not. It's the clarity that is the price to pay. Sometimes that clarity is so sharp it cuts like glass. And sometimes that clarity is so beautiful it takes my breath away.
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mary,
you just said it all.
perfectly.
I too miss my mom. I wish I had been better for her. I think I was ok...but I remember things I wish I had not have said....sad about that. But having my own kids...oh boy oh boy ...pay backs and all...
so I am thinking with this latest little lump, it is just another opportunity to move forward...to being better and stronger..to love more and open up to love. I cried a lot tonight....pissed off crying and letting go crying.
So here we go...to infinity and beyond.......with love, friends, and laughter
E
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oh and Mary,
you did right by your mom......trust me....you did and still do.
E
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ok...maybe too much
However, I watch the commercials...for Wounded Warriors, and St Judes hospitals makes me NOT feel sorry for myself.
When my husband Rob was seeing the neuro- oncologist for his brain tumor ...there were young kids sitting on the couch in the waiting room, their moms were holding their bald heads in their arms. Their baldness made their eyes even bigger. I saw sadness in their eyes,and it was clear that those young people were very tired. But in sitting there with them ..they smiled...they were ready to fight...amazing..
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Ditto to what everyone has said about how bc has changed their lives. I try to make my time with family being more verbal about my love and pride for them, but I no longer pussyfoot around their issues. They know how I feel about their drinking and smoking and other issues, but I don't harp on them.
I really need my mojo back. I spend way too much time sitting and reading and now coloring - my DIL gave me a coloring book for Christmas- her mother got a pair of earrings, I got a coloring book, but I am enjoying it. I need to move around more. I know I can join a gym, or a book club, or volunteer somewhere. The problem is that I am very shy and have a terrible time walking in anywhere by myself. Especially after 42 years of having either my husband or at least one child with me wherever I went, I just can't make myself get out there on my own. And for 22 years, we were very active in our church. That has changed also. At least when I am in Fl, I have some friends from that church, and from the school I worked at, so I get out to dinner and an occasional movie. But I would really like to do something more meaningful, you know? I was so busy before my DH's death. Running him to Dr's apptsand dialysis 3 times a week was a full time job. Plus I had younger grandchildren and I was maintaining the house and cooking etc. Now I cook, if I want to, and my daughters do all the cleaning.
My goal for this year is to stop being "sick" and needing to be taken care of, and get back to being a "normal" 66 year old woman. My "normal" will be different from anything before, but I want to get back into real life, whatever that is. With a wedding and two new granddaughters by the end of June, I need to take a more active role back.
Wishing you all the best in the new year,
Anne
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Anne,
Sounds like you know where you are this minute and where you want to be. That's a great start. It's interesting how you mentioned the coloring book. At my school on Fridays we do academy from 9-10. Each teacher has to pick an activity they want to do with the children from kindergarten to grade 3. The students get to pick what they want to sign up for.
I chose coloring! It's so relaxing, allows you to be creative etc. now at Christmas in Barnes and noble there are coloring books for adults that focus on mandalas and decorative designs.
When I had my third child by C section the hospital had a volunteer who went around and did coloring sections with the patients. It took my mind off of the pain and other things I couldn't control. I focused on the page and what I wanted that page to look like. I brought the art piece home and put it in my baby's memory box.
I wish you the very best in creating and should I say taking back your life. I too have big plans this year! Lose 50 pounds, stop worrying so much about each ache and pain, enjoy my family, remember the times I couldn't do for myself and go out and do stuff!! I want to live and be active! I can't wait until I'm healed from this abdominal surgery. I don't want to feel like a victim ever again!!! I don't want to have to ask for help in the shower or putting my clothes on each. I will be able to do it myself and feel so thankful that I can!
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Bev
My coloring book is an Adult insirationAl one. I am really enjoying it.i don't think I am quite ready for the mosaic ones yet, but maybe I will grow into that. This one has fruit and flowers baskets, churches, lighthouses, and inspirational sayings with colorful borders. It is wOrder fully calming
Anne
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Anne,
Ironically my daughter who is 11 got a gift certificate for Barnes and noble and used it on a tessalations coloring book. It helps her relax before sports games and at night before bed. She's actually coloring right now in the car! She bought herself colored pencils and a sharpener to go with it
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From my personal coloring book....I made this for my SIL for Christmas this year..... I have always loved to color...guess that's why I got my degree in Fine Arts....I have more if you all are interested.....markers, and colored pencils and paint and inks....you name it I have it and if I don't you can find me drooling over all the new stuff at the art store...lol.
E
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Had a really crappy night last night...ashamed to say I got so mad I broke the glass top to our coffee table..... didn't really mean too but my glass came down a little to hard..eeek.
CANCER SUCKS...I HATE IT!.....
We are in the process of buying a new sectional sofa...so now we need a new coffee table......hmmmmm maybe it was intentional after all.... ;0
Then I woke up with a crappy cold...sheesh!
So, I see BS on Monday, I am going to ask about a PET scan and the MRI'S twice a year. No radiation or tamoxifen. That is my plan...for now.....we'll see.
love you all
E
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great picture! Good luck Monday ev
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Eve,
YES, cancer sucks. Big time! Been thinking about you. I hope you had a good meeting with your BS today. Wishing you strength for the days ahead and hope you're doing okay.
Love,
M
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really great meeting today...Thanks for asking Mary and for the good luck! Beverly
The stiches are gone...feels so much more comfortable and I'm ooking pretty good.
Interesting in that the tumor was almost exactly the same as the others.....left over bad, bad, bad cancer cells..little buggers. I am still stage 1a..yay! My doc is just super sure that this won't ever metastasize, she wants me to think about the AI'S or Tamox but agrees that the side effects, with regards to my other health issues, may not be worth any benefits. She said the usual course of action would be radiation.....but again isn't pushing that either. Doc is on board with treating this like a chronic disease...watching, MRI'S every six months and taking it from there.
My tumors are 99% er+ and pr+ so we are going to have blood tests done to see my estrogen, estradiol, and progesterone levels. Just to see if my adrenal glands aren't all whacko....WHICH could also explain why I have a difficult time regulating my blood pressure. I find all of this to be super interesting and relish all the research I get to do...(call me weird)
Anywhooo
I am cancer free again....big smiles....it could come back....we'll deal with it. And I'll kick its butt again...yeah! rock on ladies
I also got to spend 2 hours at the craft store with my bestest friend....Now THAT was a blast!
Hope everyone had a great day!
love you all
Eve
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Eve,
That is great news! I'm glad it was a productive meeting with various options for you!!
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Wow, that's amazing news, Eve! Glad to hear all the optimism and that your doc is confident, too.
Good stuff!
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It's so great to see optimism return Eve. It sounds like you have a plan, which has to make you feel better 😊 Love you Lady!
Diane
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I got a phone call from my principal today. He said he knows I'm concerned about being on leave with no paid sick leave left and he doesn't want me to return until I'm 100%. He said he doesn't want me to return too early and have a set back or get hurt. He wants me back but not at that expense. He told me he put in for a sick bank so I can be paid while on leave. He said if the 6 weeks isn't enough ask dr for an extension. Let him know how many days I will be out and he will make sure they are covered. I almost cried!!! I work with amazing people!! They did the sick bank for me last year from January through june! I am blessed!
I told him I will be out until January 26 and if I'm not 100% by then I will get letter from Doctor to extend. God is good!! Now I can relax a bit and heal without the pressure!!
On another note I spent the morning with my mom and sister filling out paperwork for genetic testing through myriad. That was intense!!!
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Great news Beverly,
Hey guys...tomorrow is Diane's birthday......
Happy Birthday friend.....you know why there are purple hearts on this tiara.
love ya
E
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love the tiara Eve! Happy birthday Diane
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Awe. Thanks Eve! I love my tiara! 💜
Fantastic news Beverly!
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Beverly - wow, that's awesome. They came through for you not only once, but twice! Amazing!
Happy Birthday, Diane! Hope you have a wonderful day!
Eve, again, just want to say how happy I am for you that you are cancer free (again)!
Yay!
Wish we could all get together and celebrate! And yes, I know we're not as old as these ladies, but just think how awesomely fantastic we would look all dolled up in that car!
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Happy Birthday Diane
Congratulations Eve- so happy for you🎉🎊👍
Beverly - so glad things are working out for you 😀
Anne
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