January 2014 Surgery Sisters
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hi ladies. Well I made an appt to see my Doctor Who did the hernia surgery yesterday because I was having a lot of pain and started to see bruising on my stomach which wasn't there until now. At the doctors appointment the nurse informed me that my human resources Office at work contacted the doctors office and asked if my surgery was medically necessary. The nurse was shocked. When I told my husband and my sister they said I should report that to my union rep at this point I don't want to rock the boat because they're trying to put together the sick bank but the human resource staff member should never have contacted my doctor to inquire if my surgery was medically necessary. What would you all do? Speak to the union rep speak to the human resource staff member or let it go? The other thing that was not done correctly was the nurse from the doctors office gave human resource information about my care such as how big the hernia was what was involved in the procedure etc. which violates HIp laws. I know she did that on my behalf but that's still should not have been done.
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Hi Beverly,
I think that I would let HR know what the nurse told you and ask why they didn't ask you to provide that information. Our office requires a doctors note if we are out more than 3 days, bug in no way should anyone contact your doctor without your knowledge or consent. I agree that you should be careful about rocking the boat, but would politely let them know that if they have any questions about your health, they should to get permission so they don't put your doctor in a position where they may violate Hippa. You can always contact your union rep after the dust settles and you return if you don't like the response you get, but I would try just asking what was up in a non-threatening way first. Good luck!
Ladies, thank you for the birthday wishes 😊 💜
Diane
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hi ladies. Well I just had my annual follow up with my plastic surgeon. She asked if I was going to do nipples. I told her no. I don't want to risk the emotional risk of it not coming out nice and I wouldn't have feeling in them....
She said my breast look good. One is a little bigger than the other and if I wanted she has a new implant style 4 that would give me a better overall shape. The areas that I had fat grafting would be corrected by this new implant she said. I said I wasn't interested in any more surgeries at this time. I explained I am still recovering from the double hernia surgery but thanks. It's good to know there's options, but you know what? I'm getting used to how I look. I'm not 100%happy with it, but I don't think nipples that don't have sensation or new implants will make me 100% either!!
It was actually good to see the doctor and the staff there though. We hugged and laughed and it felt good to be able to say I was happy with everything. She took pictures of me that may appear on her website. It was just a good visit!😀
2016 is my year to be happy!! I'm claiming it!!!
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Beverly - that is awesome!!! No more surgery. I tend to agree - leave well enough alone. Besides, you must look pretty good if your BS is putting you on her website.
Kudos to you! You have really come a long way. You truly are a survivor - you had much to overcome and now YOU OWN IT, girlfriend. Congratulations!!!Tomorrow is my two year anniversary of being cancer free. For me, I can't say all the demons are gone. I still struggle with the fear and admit that cancer haunts me in the dark of night when I have flashbacks just like the old days. But only in snippets now...not the whole series. The monster is much smaller and easier to tame. I think I could actually forget all about it if it wasn't for my dear hubby who just completed his own cancer journey. Unfortunately it's all too real in our present lives. Still fresh. So we fight on.
But yes, I'm all for second chances. More THAT please!!!!
Love you all.
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Beverly...ditto to what Mary wrote...you own it....good for you!
Mary, hmmmm I guess I am looking for the third chance now ...lol.
I don't think about the actual cancer stuff or even dwell on it coming back. I think about the mortality stuff. I think about whether I have done a good job living my life. Have I been there for the people in my life, was I selfish? Was I good enough? Did I do enough when people needed me? I re-live all those stories almost every morning when I wake up. I have to tell myself to STOP!! just STOP!! The goal is to live in the moment...very difficult for me at times.
I think I have way too much time on my hands and cant get the ambition cranked up and going.
OR maybe
I am going to turn 60.....60 in a few weeks. OMG When did THAT happen? lol lol
Part of my angst comes from my parents passing at 63 and 64 yo. I loooooove my life with my hubby and having my kids close by once again. I want to extend that joy as long as possible in the best way possible.
Isn't that everyone's wish?
I am so happy that John is doing well...and you too Mary. Thanks for always being candid with your comments.
Love you ladies
Eve
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Ditto Beverly! You go girl!
Happy anniversary Mary. I guess it's mine too. LOL, I forgot what day it was!
Eve, a few month not dats, right? You will totally rock 60!!!
Love you all! 💜
Diane
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Eve, I'm going through that, too. Just the other day....the immortality thoughts all of a sudden popped up out of nowhere. Must be the thought of turning 60 plus hubby considering retirement. We saw a financial advisor the other day because we are seriously considering it for him. The commute is so long and he's just soooo tired. So it looks like he'll be retiring and I"ll be going back to work, lol.
But WOW, I'm so old! How did that happen and where did the years go?!
Diane, it's good you forgot. I think that's the way it should be. Like a passing glance in the rear view mirror....
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BTW - I'm not sure when your birthday is, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVE!!!! Hope you have / had a rockin' day! Just remember, you're not 60, you're 18 with 42 years of experience, haha! That's how I feel anyway!
I saw this cake and just had to share! Breast wishes, lol!!
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ladies,
I know we have a special bond. A bond created through this demon called cancer. A bond created through this connection on breast cancer.org. Many people don't understand our concerns and worries. Not friends, not family, not doctors. With that being said, I have been experiencing pain in the corner of my left breadt (cancer side) and into my arm pit. I don't feel comfortable mentioning it my family or husband. I've felt things before and they been fat necrosis or fluid filled cysts and I've put everyone on that roller coaster of fear! I don't want to do that to them. The doctor feels I'm paranoid, I've vowed that this is my year of no surgeries and moving forward but I'm scared if I let this go and it turns out to be cancer that it will advance. I'm scheduled to go to bs in May!! That's a long time to wait, right? I don't want to be paranoid, I don't want to get back at that roller coaster but the only other option is to pretend it's not there andwait.
What should I do? I trust you guys!! Please be frank and tell me if you too think I'm just paranoid. I have a couple lumps that my bs said are fat necrosis from fat grafting but this is different. It's near the arm pit and corner of my breast. And it's "painful".
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I know what you mean. I'm sure my docs think I'm borderline psycho. I don't care. If I have any issues or symptoms I let them know. Sometimes I will wait for my 3 month if it isn't too far out. But if it's been hanging around and it's really bothering me, I'd want them to check it out sooner rather than later.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't they give you the brush off when you had abdominal pain and it turned out to be a hernia? That wasn't paranoia - that was real.
Several weeks ago I went in for pain in my breasts. My NP said that it's common for that to happen at the two year mark as the nerves start waking up and regenerating. She did an exam and was going to let it go at that. I pressed her for an MRI. It turned out to be nothing. No harm no foul. Insurance covered it and I get some reassurance. Does she think I'm a hypochondriac? I'm sure she does, but it's my life on the line and I don't care what she or anyone else thinks. I'm sorry, but we have good reason to be paranoid after having had cancer.
Only YOU know your body and if something feels different, you need to let them know....and the sooner the better otherwise you're just going to stress over it. Better to check it out if only to ease your mind. And if your doc isn't willing to do that without labeling you, then you need to find another doctor.
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thanks Mary! My bs feels that yes I had cancer, but it was Dcis and we did bmx so I'm cured. The surgery took away any chance of recurrence, and I know that's not true. There's always the chance even if it's small, it does happen!! I might call on Monday and see if they can see me during the week. No one will even know. I'm still out of work from surgery so I guess this is the time to do it.
My husband is going on for knee replacement February 10, I go back to work January 26. This sucks!!! I need to be there for him like he was for me! With fmla for my surgery I get 12 weeks, part of me just wants to extend it. I'm not sure if you can do that though. My fmla is for my surgery, not my husbands. Would I have to reapply for fmla to care for him? I have sooooooo much to catch up on at work. I have an observation by my principal on March 2 I believe. Omg so much goes into that! Report cards are due January 29 I think... My principal was doing a sick bank for me, can I really ask for time off to be with my husband now? Ugh!!!
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Yes, that's true, mastectomy is not considered a cure and it does not decrease your chances of recurrence more than any other type of surgery. It usually take five years in the clear to be considered "cured". Until you hear otherwise, technically you're cancer-free, which is pretty awesome in itself. But wow, it's hard to believe your BS believes otherwise. Excuse me for being so bold, but that's BS.
As for your hubby's surgery, I feel for you. My hubby took FMLA for his cancer treatment and then had several months of donated sick time during his recovery. That kept us from dipping into our savings and allowed us to be covered by health insurance. I was so grateful for his co-worker's generosity.
You are so lucky to have such a flexible and generous workplace. I'm sure they'll be willing to work with you for more leave based on what they've done for you so far.
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Sorry guys for being MIA.....nasty cold...again..
Beverly, I think you have already gotten good advice. I still get pain...but if you have pain then your docs should listen to you. This last tiny little cancer that I had removed was surrounded by dcis.....I didn't think I had any ducts left....never ever ignore pain. Can you get an MRI with contrast? As far as I can tell that is the best way to reveal anything that could be worrisome. Do you have your path report? Oh well never mind....I see you were grade 2..I am also grade two...which tells you how aggressive your cancer is. How fast it grows...or grew for that matter. Mine showed up again in exactly 2 years. It showed up on the MRI and bda bing we took it out.
In my opinion everyone should have at the very least a breast MRI once a year...period.
My MIL had knee replacement a couple of years ago....make hubby do his exercises......that is the key to recovery...it hurts...but in the end he'll love being back to normal.
Mary...love the cake. B'day isn't until 03/17 just looking at 60 and trying to wrap my head around it. All is well.
Keep warm...I see where some of you are getting some real winter weather. It is going to be 36 tonight here in central fl yay!.......
love you all
E
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thanks eve. I made an appt for Monday. I've never had an mri. Always ultrasound when I go for my 6 month appt.
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Beverly
you have an appointment for an MRI ? I sure hope so. For me it is THEEE only test that showed I had cancer. Both times...it is THAT important...IMHO. However, and I hate to say this...you cant always go by the report that the radiologist sends to your doc. ALWAYS get the CD from the scan and look at it yourself. My last MRI showed NO cancer from the radiologist's report BUT my BS looked at my scans and found the tumor.....scary stuff...who do you trust anymore???
My BS is on my case and promised me she will always look at all my scans ...everything, everytime.
Get a second opinion if you don't have faith in what you are being told! It IS YOUR life...
take care
E
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Eve,
Actually when I called the bs, the receptionist said weren't you just here recently?! I said yes and the lump I felt was a fluid filled cyst from fat grafting. She asked if it was drained. I said yes. Then she put me on hold and came back and said I would be seeing the pa but the dr will be here if she needs to pop in. I'm not scheduled for mri. I've never had one for this. They usually feel the area that I feel and do an ultrasound. Often with comments that I've had a bmx for Dcis I need to let this go and live my life. This is my new normal aches and lumps. But I told them that if I feel something I'm not going to waiting not paranoid I just know my body. The bs even said wow you know ur body when I pointed out the fluid filled cyst after fat grafting. I mean really how hard is it to look at the area.
It probably is nothing- GOOD!!! but give me the peace of mind! I feel a lump and have discomfort occasionally on armpit why take a chance? Right
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- Beverly- it really bothers me when anyone who hasn't had cancer thinks it is the same as the measles- with a been there-done that mentality. You've had it, fought it, you're cured so move on already. It is especially hard to hear from Dr's who treat reaccurrences on a daily basis, for several reasons- we know our own bodies better than anyone else- they should understand that we will never "get over it" and they get paid every time we see them. My office visits are more than $150 at least, whether they do anything or not.
Anne
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Beverly - you've never had an MRI? That's amazing. I had two before my surgery, one which was diagnostic and the other one when I switched providers. My previous BS was anti-MRI and anti-MX, which was really scary to me, so I left.
I don't think it's unreasonable to ask for an MRI in your case....especially since you've never had one. It's been two years and most importantly, you have symptoms. The last time I checked they don't have a crystal ball for cancer.
I think that all docs are cost conscious these days when it comes to care. I don't like the new guidelines that say don't do scans unless you are symptomatic (and even then they don't seem to want to). Some women gets PET scans and CT scans regularly - not sure why the difference. Guess it all depends on your doc. While I wouldn't want to get radiated that much, it is a small price to pay if you can get a scan, say once a year, and be able to treat a recurrence or catch a new cancer earlier. My NP likes to argue that most of the time, the cancer recurs in other places besides the breast area. To her I say, uh uh. Tell your doc about Eve as an example. Her case proves the point that even when you get an MRI, you can't rely on the results. My first MRI was screwed up somehow ... they couldn't read it very clearly. I should have had it done over but I didn't. The first surgeon I saw just figured I'd have a MX and be done with it, but it didn't turn out that way. Scary stuff! Eve, your BS is an angel.
Beverly - to your BS, I'd say, "Yes, but what if you're wrong?"
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thanks for your support ladies.
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Oh YES!!! Mary, my BS is an angel alright. My surgery was ony$508.00 a 75% discount. My office visits are $72, and they always ask how much do I want to pay? I pay the whole thing but she gives me the option.
I don't understand why docs don't do the MRI. There is no radiation and it should take the same amount of time as a CT or PET.(?)
My tumor as I said was only 3mm tiny, tiny.....if it showed up on your chest wall how would you feel it before it got too big? Mine was right under the skin in the scar...just as I have read would happen if it came back. So many differing opinions.....gotta be careful and err on the side of hypochondriac...lol
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would an ultrasound pick that up
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You know Beverly, I don't know if it would pick up something that small. I had an ultra sound initially, even before a mammogram. The US showed the 1cm tumor and I don't think the docs concentrated on any other lumps because they didn't matter (small in comparison to the biggest one)..not sure on that .With an US they are looking at the shape and density of a lump. If your lump is large not tiny like my last one I think I would be ok with the US.
The thing with an MRI with the contrast that they soot in your vein...no big deal, is that if the lump is cancer it lights up on the scan...a bright light against a black background... It also has to do with how fast the lump draws up the contrast and then releases it. Pretty interesting stuff...you can google MRI vs Ultrasound....and see what you think.
The problem with me was nothing was conclusive...even the biopsy came back iffy for cancer. I don't know why....I decided to have the BMX...and I was right to do so. My BS is totally on board with the fact that I seem to be a weird case and I don't fit the cancer mold at all. So she is extra diligent with me.
My advice is to get the MRI even if insurance wont pay for it. My MRI's are $350-$500 depending on where I get it done. I wont be going back to the cheaper place again because the radiologist missed the tumor....
Anyhow, let us know what you decide
E
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That would be a good question for your doctor. I've found lumps and my NP recommended US that showed they were from fat grafting and benign. I've had at least two US since my BMX. So they must be able to tell with an US if the lumps are cancerous. This time though, I pushed for an MRI because I felt more pain than just a lump and it felt just like my tumor did - it hurt, and I was scared. I feel better having an MRI because it shows a larger picture vs. pinpointing one spot or lump.
I think, but don't know for sure, that MRI's provides more detail. BUT in my case my first MRI didn't turn out. Maybe I wasn't still enough and the image blurred - who knows. MRI's can result in false positives making it more stressful if you have to do a biopsy. That was my first BS's argument against them and plus they're uncomfortable. That's true, but again, those are not good arguments in my opinion.
Did you have BRCA testing done? Depending on whether or not you have a family history and gene testing shows you at high risk, I would argue for MRI vs. US. I think a lot depends on who is reading the images, I think. I'd rather have someone who is GOOD doing an US than someone who's NOT GOOD doing an MRI.
Sorry, I know that doesn't help much.
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Hi Beverly,
My tumor was tiny, and they did find it with US when they couldn't see it on the mammogram. I think US is a good place to start. I did get an MRI after the initial biopsy came back, which showed scar tissue, which we also biopsied, and found no BC. You can always ask for an MRI later. Good luck 😊
Dianr
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Well there you go, lady.
There isn't one good answer, is there?
So I think, if I were you...I'd do everything available , in order to have peace of mind. Not that I think any of us will ever be free of a thought of reoccurrence. But at least you can get a pretty good idea.
I have a "pretty good idea" . It came back...but now it is gone. So I can only keep checking for lumps and get the scans. That is all I have...that is all any of us has. Well, one can do the hormonals and I could have radiation...but I choose not to. I'll save the big guns if I need them...but again that is my choice....that feels good to me. But in the long run I have to go forward and not dwell on cancer. I feel that I owe that to the people in my life. To live. everyday. well.
I still am trying to get there.
E
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there was a variant in RAD 51c and RAD 51d and msh6. These are breast, ovarian and colon.
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Eve, it's understandable that you're not there yet - considering this second episode. I'm not there yet, either, but am determined to start another year with hope. Hard to do, though...
Beverly, best of luck whatever you decide. Hope you get whatever you need to feel at peace.
~M
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Hi Ladies: I don't know if there will ever come a time when we will stop looking over our shoulders, which is pretty messed up, considering many of us did this hoping we would not feel that way. I have a weird white-ish spot on the BC side, which I'm sure is just the fat grafting, but yes, I'll be calling my BS next week to book and appointment, since I don't see her until September.6. I'm not really concerned, but who knows. I'm just really annoyed, because I'm so tired of this stuff. Yes, I'll keep you posted, but I'm sure it's nothing. Grrrr.
Beverly - How did your appointment go?
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what a day!!! Let's see, my first stop was to the dr who did hernia surgery. He made me make an appointment before giving me one more week on leave. He gave me the week.
Then I was off to the bs. I felt a few lumps and had pain in armpit. She ultra sounded and said its the muscle tightened up near the arm pit. Do physical therapy things at home. The lump I felt was fluid again!! It's from the damn fat grafting! There were also a few fat necrosis little lumps. She said She would aspirate it in May when I go back for my 6 month. It's the same spot I felt in October that she aspirated so she said not to worry about we sent the fluid out to pathology last time and it was normal.
I asked about the mri and she said no they just do ultrasound for Dcis after bmx. My chances of a recurrence are just above 0%. So there you have it
Oh and then I went to my human resources office to drop off my letter of return date. She said there was NO sick bank put in place, I had to use the 45 days that is in our contract (after u use up all your time they give another 45 days but u get the difference after your sub is paid). Then she goes on to say that since we tapped into the 45 days, when I'm out with my husband (hoping it's only February 10-19), that will be unpaid. Wth?!?? This is not what I was told like last week!! My principal assured me the sick bank was set up not to worry about finances etc and that he was not using the 45 days this way I can use that for my husband! What a mess
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Diane, my friend
When is your appointment? It is probably nothing to worry about.....BUT you never know. Sending healing thoughts your way.
You too Beverly. I always hated dealing with HR. The people there were like these power mavens. Just snotty and evil...lol...
for me...I have really lost my mojo....I swear I'm going for a walk tomorrow and try to find it. Or post it on a milk carton.
I called the anesthesiologists office today to ask for a discount. They cut the bill in half...yay! The difference this time is they gave us 6 months to pay...last time it was immediate payment for the discount. Found that to reflect that more and more people don't have insurance. Sad. My BF has a polyp in her throat that interferes with her breathing...she cant get an ENT to see her. My son's friend has a large kidney stone that causes him to have blood in his urine and he cant get it taken care of....wow! Things HAVE to change in our health care system.
Any how, hope the rest of you lovey ladies are well.
love to all
E
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