January 2014 Surgery Sisters
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Hi ladies. I had my post op appointment today and saw my new foobs unveiled. I'm really pleased with the results. They are soft and while I can see areas that will be better after the fat grafting, that is truly just the fine tuning.
I got to shower and can resume normal activities like raising my arms and driving now, and go back to class in another week. I'm guessing my fat grafting/nip reconstruction will be sometime in July or August.
I had a lovely day with a girlfriend going out to lunch and shopping after my appointment with my PS. Took off the surgical bra in my PS's office and went comando all afternoon! That isn't something I would have even considered doing with my old saggy boobs, so silver lining for sure!
Hugs to everyone!
Diane
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K it is the weekend
just thinking of everyone.
We are all in different stages of recovery and of course my dears that are still getting bombarded with rads and chemo.
I hope, perhaps that everyone can check in. If not to just say hello but to get some support.
I know, for myself...I still am not back to my self...I am tired...can't explain it. depression , maybe..
it is good Friday...Passover, holy days....hmmm
There was a time that all of that really meant something to me. More out of the fear of God...and the catholic church.
Now...everything in the past few months and years for that matter but specifically to BC ....faith....really hard to come by...except I have found a profound and amazing circle of people...my husband, my brother, my best friend, my in laws, my kids....my "faith in me " family. And heartfully my amazing, lovely family of you strong , giving, brave in your giving of your honesty, family
I know I am not quite saying things correctly ...but I guess God, or the universal power, Jehovah, nature, I don't know...what to call the power that binds us together.... there IS a power...
Happy Easter all, wishing you all the spirit of renewal....take a minute and close your eyes....a deep breath.....we can make a new way forward.
YES?
love to all
peace
Eve
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commando rocks Diane !
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Happy Easter Eve. Yes this has now become an extended family for me as well. A family of brave women that are forced to deal with something that changes each of us and makes us look at life in a different way... It took away the innocence and the feeling of immortality. We are brave and strong!!! Even when we don't feel like getting out of bed we do it... Even when we don't feel like scheduling that next surgery we do it!
This diagnosis has definitely changed me. Right now not for the good... I'm tired, I'm sore, I'm scared. But I know, when I come through this I will be stronger and more appreciative of the little things in life. I know I'm not going through this in vain. I just need to get to the other side physically and emotionally and im glad im in good company with my January sisters!
Love you all and respect you for being you and sharing your experiences. We are not alone, we have one another. Even when others don't understand, we can turn to each other. I thank you for that!!!! Happy Easter my sisters!
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Happy Easter, happy Saturday, happy weekend to all of you. Wishing everyone of you a pain free, emotionally positive, and sunny outlook.
Woke up yesterday with the weirdest scalp sensation of pins and needles. When I bent over it was excruciating! Stayed with me all day and ended with a headache and dull body aches yesterday. Seems I am on the same path for today. I hate to run a comb through my new PIXIE cut I received yesterday because of the sensitivities If I can figure it out I will post before and after pics. It was kind of fun getting it done and seeing all the many different colors of my hair treatments show up differently on super short hair vs medium length.
Some of my scarves ordered during my 3am on line shopping came in, too. My DD with her long chestnut brown hair looked like a bohemian princess when she tried them on. I looked like a frumpy chemo girl when I put them on. There is definitely an art to the scarf tying that I have not yet mastered for use in prime time!
Girls, we all come to this journey from a different place and it has been a pleasure and a gift to learn from all of you. I thought turning 50 was liberating (ok, in full disclosure I hated the very thought of having to say I was 50, but, after the fact, my attitude has been WTF until now!). This experience is helping to embrace who I am and for me it has been important to become an advocate to help other women. Funny, I used to be much more introverted about personal things and now I find myself talking to male acquaintances and friends about the TE process , mastectomy scars and no nipples! Doesn't phaze me in the slightest. I hope that means I am growing as a person and not turning into an odd, eccentric middle-aged lady. Lol"
Remember, tomorrow is Silver Lining Sunday!!!
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Happy Spring to all my Surgery Sistas!
Well, believe it or not we had 8.5 inches of snow in that last (hopefully) final snowstorm. Tomorrow it's supposed to be 70, but I'm not holding my breath. We still have patches of snow in our yard.
I spent the last two days at mom's. We had fun - played color bingo, ate chocolate, looked at her photo books, had her count for me while I did my arm lifts, lol! Not very exciting, I know! But, it's still cold out and she's still recovering from her fall, so we didn't go out at all. I'm going to try to see her at least two days a week. One of my therapists said I should find a volunteer position, so....this is what I choose to do. It'll be good for both of us, although it's stressful. She is withdrawing more and more into her own world of Alzheimer's and we are losing her more each day. So sad.
Eve, what a great idea for everyone to check in this weekend. Like you, Ann, I have always been a very private person. It's sometimes hard to share knowing this forum is open to the whole wide world, but I believe by sharing I am helping others in some way. So that means a lot to me. If someone learns from my experience, that's a good thing. I agree we are like family. We share a part of our lives that few others can fully relate to. I feel like I now have two parts to my life. My life before cancer and my life after cancer. Those I knew before are not traveling the path I'm going down now, although they are watching me from a distance. Hope that doesn't sound too depressing, but that's how I feel. But the good thing is, I met all of you. I'm so glad our paths continue to cross on this journey as we each try to find our way out of the jungle. It really helps me so much knowing I'm not alone.
I have to keep reminding myself every day that survivorship, like life, is really very simple. It's enjoying the little things and people you love and just showing up every day. It's being present, REALLY present in your life and with people who matter and spending your time in a way that is meaningful to you.
And every day I look forward to logging onto this site and reading about your days - good or bad.
Happy Easter to you and your families!
Love,
Mary
Here's a song called My Silver Lining - enjoy!
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Happy Easter and/or Passover to all- and Happy Weeknd to those not celebrating this weekend. For me, all holidays have lost the celebratory feeling they once had. I think it started when the kids started moving away, and then any gathering became a struggle for the last three years of my husbands life, and it all became so empty to me, even with family there. I feel the spiritual side has become more significant to me, although I find church to be somewhat empty as well. I guess I just am unable to change my mood because of a date on a calendar. That said, I want to make sure you know I am not wallowing in depression either. I am content and happy for the most part. This BC has knocked my world on its butt, but even that is looking better and I can see the light ( just a flicker now and then) at the end of the tunnel. It will just be "us" tomorrow, me, my daughter, her husband and the 2 boys. We haven't even planned a meal yet. It will be a typical Sunday, although we might all sit together in the dining room for dinner.
I wish safe traveling if you are going somewhere, as well as safe travel for your loved ones as they traveL to you. And I hope you hear from all yor loved ones that can't be with you in person.
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Happy Silver Lining Sunday, ladies. I figured out how to insert pics so you now have my before pic at the hairdresser's and my pixie as I do a selfie alone in my bathroom!. One silver Lining is the no maintenance. Getting ready is a breeze!
Mary, the love you have for your mom is beautiful and every moment you spend with her will be well spent.
Anne, I can relate to your comment on holidays, especially Christmas . 3 Christmases ago I was in a neck brace recuperating from a cervical fusion. 2 Christmases ago I was stuck in bed with a nasty flu bug. Last Christmas I was diagnosed with IDC. It will be a tough holiday for me when it rolls around this year. I wish you comfort as you celebrate holidays this year
Wishing everyone a basket full of jelly beans, chocolate eggs and my favorite, malted milk balls. You deserve the treats whether you celebrate Easter or not:-)
Have a glorious day everyone.
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Wow Ann! I love your pixie, and you fantastic smile!
Happy Easter everyone! My son was invited to go to my mom's and with his sisters (he has 2 half sisters who are in their 20's), and he chose to go with his sisters this year, but we've been having a nice morning together. I went down to the garage (I live in a condo) and pulled down the bin with the Easter decorations late last night after he went to bed (I was afraid to pull it down until I was cleared to raise my hands over my head Friday) and he was excited to wake up to see them, along with his Easter basket.
As for me...I'm not really sure why my mom thought I would be up for driving 3 hours on Easter to attend Easter dinner at her house one week after surgery, or why my family never thought about coming here...but there you go. I chose to stay home and will be having dinner with friends who live down the street. Silver Lining...we'll have MUCH better wine there
It has been such a privilege to get to know all of you ladies. You have all become true sisters and I love and care about all of you.
Wishing you all a fabulous Silver Lining Easter Sunday!
Diane.
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Wow wow WOW Ann,
You look absolutely stunning with your pixie cut. No kidding wow...it suits you to a tee.
Diane, I remember the days with my sons...and their dad and the back and forth crap. My boys, came to realize, without any prompting from me, that life at home with mom was way better than with the "rich" dad family. The boys now come home...to our 2 bed 1 bath condo 2 sons 2 wives 1 stepson (7) all of us ....it is awesome.
we did back up the plumbing one time...and how yukky, my step son had lice and we all had to do the de liceing thing. My poor DIL ...she is Thai and has that beeeeutifu long black hair. really rewarding seeing my son comb her hair...and just being a dear loving husband....sigh....can't wait till they move home.
We had an exceptional day....took pup to a different dog park. the first one she ever went to. It was ok...there was a lovely Golden retriever and her parents were lovely also. The dogs had a ball running together. They left and a Rottie mix came in the park. Super sweet dog, but our girl did not like that rottie al all. I have never seen my girl be so upset and so protective of us. We had to take her out of the park....in one way weird but on the other hand my pup can protect her own.
Any how we went geocaching and walked 3 miles and found the little treasures we were looking for...so much fun.
Pup was introduced to several cows. So funny, she is a herder by nature and it was really neat to see her instincts come out. She tried a few tiny barks to get the cows to move. I truly think I saw one of the heifers smile at her.
I know I am going a bit. Just really appreciate this day with my DH and my pup.
totally love you guys, having a place I can just "talk" is is is well I guess indescribable.
thank you all, for your love, openness and vulnerability.
peace,
Eve
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Ann- love the haircut and malted milk balls. We had a very quiet day today. I cleaned up my desk, which was out of control, then relaxed. We had turkey, mashed potatoes and a corn casserole for dinner. May not be a typical Easter dinner, but I couldn't eat any dinner on Christmas, I was 4 days out of final chemo and miserable. So I now feel I have had Christmas dinner. Maybe we'll have ham for the Fourth of July...
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Happy Easter sisters!
I hope everyone is having a good, relaxing day.
Hubby and I went on a little road trip yesterday with my friend and her husband to the casino. It was nice to have grown-up time and NOT have anything we "had" to do. We didn't get home until 1am, though, and by the time Hubby and I got the Easter baskets all set and got to bed it was almost 2am, and my daughter woke me up at 7:05. <yawn> Luckily I talked her into going back to bed until 8 (son slept at his grandfather's next door) but still.... I'm one tired mama.
We went to my brother-in-law's house for a family meal today, and we did an Easter egg hunt and some games. It was fun. I'm glad to be home, though. Back to the rads grindstone tomorrow. Double digits - #10!
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michelle,
you guys are so darn good looking. I know the rad ritual is difficult...you go girl...you are always such an inspiration...even though you don't really want to be identified in that manner....oh well...get over it, we love you and you give me the strength to move on.
Anne, I am making sauted chicken , marinated in an Asian tasting sauce with a cabbage salad with ginger sauce.....not very Easterish either...but yummy none the less.
Do you have a recipe for the corn casserole? one of my favorite dishes
love ya
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Eve
My daughter has a recipe that includes 4 cans of corn (2 regular, 2 creamed) and cornbread mix. That's all I know about it, but it sure is good. She hates to cook, so this is one of the few things she will make.
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Ladies,
How do you post pictures on here?
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Beverly.................................. ^ .........................................
click here well ...click here means to click on the 8th icon over in the bar with the text stuff on it. above your screen when you are posting. it is a rectangle with a mountain range kinda picture in it.
I then click browse and the select the pic and click open
there you go! that is my jasmine and one of my bird houses.....smells so good!
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You girls are awesome! And making me hungry:-)
I have a story to tell that includes TMI but to give full effect to the story I need to share it so just warning y'all!
Woke up this morning feeling better than I have since starting chemo. Went to the bathroom and had some weird blood and it was no way near time to start my period. Near as I could tell it was coming from That Other Place. Didn't tell my family, went to church, left early because I got too flipping hot. Came home and more blood. Talked to my DH and my mom the nurse and off we went to ER.
Several fun exams and a CT scan later and I can tell for SURE that I started my period!! The embarrassment continued to mount. By this time I just wanted to get out of there and home to my Easter brunch. I told every doctor and nurse that came in that I made a terrible mistake and needed a biology and anatomy lesson and to send me home but they would not.
My WBC was low so a nuepogen shot was ordered. The CT scan came back and my colon is inflamed and I have colitis. No food or drink since yesterday nor will I get anything before tomorrow. Pumping me with antibiotics, I am in isolation and everyone that comes in wears a mask. The gastroenterologist will be in to see me later but I am here for the night. They don't want to do any internal checks because of the WBC.
I better have one hell of a good 4th of July partying it up on the lake this summer. Otherwise, I cease and desist from any further holidays!
I want Eve to make me dinner. Asian is my favorite....don't care what country. I won't turn down Anne's cornbread either!
Diane, I am counting on you to drink an extra glass of wine for me. I am a self professed wino!
Michelle, you family is beautiful and look just like you.
My silver lining? Just got a text from my family that they were home now and finally found their Easter basket....and loved it :-)
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My goodness,
what a load of crud.
Hoping you can get some sleepy time meds and mellow out for the night.
I'll cook for you anytime...I also make a killer pork fried rice...
ditto about the 4th. DH is already planning our vacation for next year. An RV trip across country....Cool beans...I m ready.
get some rest my friend, and let those hospital people take care of you
keep us informed...tmi is never tmi.
love
Eve
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Thanks Eve,
I don't see that symbol on my cell phone so I'll try it tomorrow on the computer!
Mmtagirl, hey your story started out like what I'm dealing with now. Here's my tmi story.... I have been having heavy periods for a few years now-since I had my last child and tubes tied in 2010. I had an iud, a cryoblation (just this past August) and my periods are still ridiculous. I sleep w a hospital pad under me, I'm afraid to leave the house because of leaks etc. well my period started at day 19, what happened to a 28 day cycle!!! I called my gyno and they set me up w an appt but it's not until April 30. The plan was if the cryoablation didn't work, I'd have a hysterectomy. This was discussed in August 2013... Well then I had my mammo in October 2013 and found out i had microcalcifications which led to biopsy which led to lumpectOmy which led to BMx in January. Long story short (ok not so short lol) I know she's going to discuss hysterectomy but I still have my exchange to schedule, nipple reconstruction and aeroloa tatoos. Not to mention I need to get this "lump" on my neck surgically removed at some point.... Geez, how much can we take!!! I am going to tell my gyno I want an ultrasound done to check my ovaries etc ( not only do I have family history of breast cancer but also ovarian) and will ask about that test- I think it's CA-125 or something like that. I know it's not always reliable but.... I HAVE to go back to work in August!!!! I don't have time for all this $&@! I wish they could just knock me out and do the exchange, surgery on my neck and hysterectomy all at once!!!! I'd wake up and be able to move on!! Ugh
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mmtagirl - I hope you're feeling better and that you are home soon. Nice to see pics of you and put a face to a name. Love your smile. BTW, it's Anne, right?? Michelle - hang in there. You're looking good, too.
My DH and I had a nice, quiet weekend. Believe it or not, yesterday it got up to 70 degrees!!! I spent most of the day outside enjoying the sunshine. Did some raking and started some garden clean-up. Hopefully we get some good rain so that things start greening up and the streets get cleaned off. I'm looking forward to getting my VW convertible bug out of the garage. It's parked right next to the Harley. Time to get out all the toys!! BTW, no one commented on my Sturgis pic I posted a ways back, so I'm going to delete it (sniff). Just kidding. I think I'll make it my new profile pic.
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this is my crew, taken a few weeks before DH's death. We are missing one DIL (she was in So Carolina) and since then have added another granddaughter- second picture. Two boys on the left and the lady next to them and the man behind her are the family I am living with right now. Put these pictures up just to see if I could do it, following Eve's directions- thanks Eve.
Anne
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Ann - What a crazy Easter! It sounds like you may have gone in for the wrong reason, but ended up in the right place, so I'm glad they are taking good care of you. I hope you are feeling better today. Do keep us posted, and as Eve said, never worry about TMI. Know that we are all there with you!
I had MORE than one extra glass of wine for you. We started with Mumm's in the afternoon and graduated to a decent cab, and ended with a fantastic bottle of Emblem cab, that was truly amazing. As I sat there sipping my wine on her deck (it was over 80 degrees out) I thought about all of my sisters, and how far we have all come together, and it made me feel truly thankful.
It may be true that the holidays will be a little wonkie for a few years. I'm sure most of us were in a BC fog for at least Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Years, but the Silver Lining is that there will be more to come, and we will eventually get there.
Michelle - Great pic! Your smile is something that shines through...like a beacon, so Lighthouse Lady is all the more appropriate for you! I'm so glad you are taking time to enjoy yourself.
Bev - It does seem like it comes in waves, but trust me when I that that you when you are through this, you are going to feel like a superhero! It's already apparent from your posts that you are much stronger already!
Mary - I loved your MM (Motercycle Mama) pic, and it's fantastic that you finally got the sunshine you need and deserve!
Eve - I'm getting hungry just reading your post. I cook too, and think it would be great fun if we could all find a place to meet for a weekend retreat in a year or so when all of us have finished with treatment/recon. What fun it would be to cook for each other, lift our glasses, and actually hug for real!
The condo is quiet. My son is crashed out, having been up late watching The Hobbit with me last night when he got home. He's on Spring Break and although I'm off today, I go back to work tomorrow. I'm ready physically, but will miss being able to take a nap, and to have time to "talk" with all of you.
I'll be living the single life this week, since my son will be with his dad Tues-Wed, and my mom Th-Friday, then back to his dad Sat-Sun. Hopefully, I'll be inspired to get some cleaning done, and get started taking off the extra pounds. Happy Monday Ladies,
Diane.
P.S. I woke up on my side for the first time this a.m., and don't need to take an Aleve, because I'm not sore, so relief is coming!
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Wow Anne - What a great looking family. Your granddaughter is beautiful!
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Wow girls....I absolutely love all of the pics that you are posting. So nice to see everyones lovely faces and to know that we are all more than "C". Absolutley love Ann'es pixie and the way that Michelle can rock a baseball cap!! Just yesterday I too wore a baseball cap when I was finally able to take a long walk in the sunshine; the weather here actually went up to 70!!! Yippee!!!Like all of you I had a very busy Easter weekend. I hosted 18 people and 4 dogs on Saturday...all good though. I saw some relatives that I hadn't seen since diagnoses and they were all really supportive.
This weeks continues to look busy for me as I juggle work and doctor appointments and radiation and driving all over the state. Thank goodness for satellite radio. I will be done with rads tomorrow. I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy for that milestone. Then its off to heal from rads, participate in a clinical trial, and meet with my PS next week to see the timeline for getting my girls done.
Love much to you all, Marissa
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Anne...sorry I forgot to mention in my last post but you take the cake for having a crazy Easter. So sorry you had to go to ER, got your period, had to re explain your situation tons of times, had low WBC, got he neulasta shot....Wow. That is one for the books..or should I say Easter basket. Hope your having a much better Monday0 -
My DD just called from FLA. My Shelty that I have had for 15 years is in complete renal failure and the only option is to put him down. My oldest DD's in- laws had stopped by one day with the Shelty puppy they had just gotten. Sheltys have always been my favorite breed. When my husband heard they had paid over $300 for her, he said , no way- we already had a dog at the time, plus we had not paid for any of our dogs- they were strays or had been given to us. He sounded definite, so I dropped the subject and just kept playing with and laughing at the puppy. We also had never had a puppy. We went to bed that night, we were just laying here, going to sleep, when he said " I said no, we cannot get that puppy" I thought the subject was already closed, so it took me a minute to realize he was actually saying "yes". When I called the breeder the next morning, I said I had gotten her number from Lynne, and she said "oh, you're the one with the cheap husband" ( Lynne had told her we might be calling) she said she had no more females, but would have one in 8 weeks. I didn't care if it was male or female- in fact, all the dogs we had had been males. So we picked Dusty up that afternoon and he was the smartest, sweetest dog ever. And he was mine. He followed me everywhere, and when I was sitting, he was right at my feet. I hated leaving him in Fl when I knew I would be going thru the BC treatments here in Atlanta, but my DD 's house has a basement, which means she has a deck outside her back door, with a full flight of stairs to the yard and I knew Dusty couldn't handle the stairs. I will miss him terribly
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Oh, Anne, I'm so sorry. Our beloved furry friends are like family. I know if anything happened to my kitties, like you, I'd be heartbroken. Sending you gentle (((hugs)))!
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So very sorry Anne. Our furry friends are just as much loved as our kids...maybe more. I recently had to put one of my kitties down , same issue. I balled on the phone making the arrangements with my vet. He was 15 also.
love to you
Eve
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Anne, so sorry to hear about your beloved dog. My condolences to you. Also loving the family pic and there is nothing sweeter than a little angel in her Easter dress.
Sounds like a lot of good Easter celebrations were done on the beautiful spring day. Yay!
I hope to be home tomorrow. WBC are at .7 and I got a second nuepogen shot this afternoon. Platelets and rbc have also dropped but so far no need for a transfusion. I can eat clear liquids now.
I actually do not feel bad and want to go home. I won't be released until the counts rise. Missing my DD soccer game tonight and it is beautiful outside! So happy to see green again :-)
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Anne - I'm so sorry to hear about Dusty. It is never easy to say goodbye to a beloved pet and companion.
Ann - Awesome that you are getting better! Sending you gentle hugs and wishes for you to get out of there tomorrow!
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