January 2014 Surgery Sisters
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What a day! Had a babysitter scheduled to come to the house this morning at 730 so my husband could go with me to the hospital which is an hour away to get a 24 hour blood pressure monitor on. Babysitter never showed up so i drove myself. I get to the hospital and go where I thought I was supposed to go just on time. Come to find out I had the wrong building. Had to walk half mile to the other building. Get to the receptionist desk and she tells me their monitor is broken, I needed to go to another facility. I had no idea how to get there, their like it's only 10 minutes away, you jump on the highway take a right then a left.... My head was spinning! My blood pressure must've be up by now!! Anyway I jump in the car and drive to the other facility which was like 20 minutes away- not 10! I walk in and then send me to another spot. Get there they send me to another spot! I was livid!!! At least I was in the same building I guess! So I get to the right place and she puts it on and I'm all set. I tell her it's supposed to snow tomorrow morning what if I can't get back here? She says well someone else is scheduled to come in and this is our only machine.... I told her well it's over an hour away from my home. If its bad I won't be in! She just kind of looked at me and said ok.... What a day!!!!! Can't wait to see my blood pressure readings lol0
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Beverly,
Oh my, that is bad! Sorry you had such a rotten day. Hope all your tests turn out okay.
I had my abdominal US last week and it turned out fine. I had my pelvic US yesterday and am waiting the results although I think that will be fine, too. During the exam the technician said she couldn't see my ovaries and wanted to do a vaginal US, but I opted out. I just wasn't in the mood, lol! So apparently when you get older the ovaries get smaller and harder to find. Yep, I can believe that. Sometimes I feel like I'm just gonna dry up and blow away (sigh)!
Hope your week is off to a good start. Here are some funnies to help make you chuckle:
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My PCP's nurse called today. The pelvic US shows that I (still) have a uterine fibroid. I had almost forgotten all about it. The last time I had an abdominal MRI and CT scan was in 2012 and at that time they said I wouldn't have to do anything unless it bothered me. Well...I'm at the point now where I'm bothered. So, I'll be checking with my team on this. Oh boy. Never a dull moment!!
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Hi Ladies: Sorry I've been MIA. I do read all of your posts, and you are all in my thoughts, I have just been distracted with knee rehab and if I'm honest, some depression, which I'm finally starting to dig out from.
Taekwondo was central in my life to my recovery and my mental health. When I tore my ACL in October, it all fell apart. Although it was a freak accident, I will always feel like it never would have happened, if BC hadn't taken away my hormones, and left me with weak joints. Knee surgery and recovery is rough and using food as comfort has put on 25 extra pounds. Emotionally, I felt like BC had taken away my life, although I knew that wasn't the case intellectually. On top of that, things with my implants weren't right, and I was very stressed out about telling my PS that I thought I needed a revision surgery.
Thankfully, I didn't have to go alone. My friend went with me and I saw my PS last Friday. He has agreed to operate again to try to correct the lateral movement of my left implant and raise the right one 1/2", so it is even with the left side. It causes pain and discomfort when I'm trying to sleep and when I'm wearing a bra and it seems like using the crutches may have causes some damage to the tissues holding the implants. He will remove the implants and use more dermal allograph to shore up the pockets. Unfortunately, he has to replace the implants, because once they leave the body, the warranty is voided.
It was such a relief that my PS agreed with me, and that he is going to fix it. I feel the weight beginning to lift and am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Seeing that, I know I'll be okay, and that makes all the difference.
My guess is that it will be slightly more painful than my exchange surgery and as soon as the insurance company authorization comes through, we'll schedule the surgery in mid-April. I'll be spending the month of March rehabbing my knee and focusing on healthy eating and losing some of the excess weight. The very good news is that I can get my tattoos as soon as I'm healed from the surgery, so I will be finished with my PS before the summer, which makes me happy.
Beverly - I hope you get that blood pressure under control. I know how hard it is to let go of the little things when your hormones are messing with your head, but we all have to figure out a way, or we will make ourselves, and everyone around us crazy. I wish you peace.
Mary - When is your surgery? I know you will do just fine, but want you to know that I'm here for you. I'm sure it will ease your mind to have things taken care of.
Eve - I hope your kitty is fully recovered and that you are basking in the presence of your boys and your wonderful husband! You are my hero on so many levels, but keeping what is most important, your family and the joy they can bring, is number one!
I think about you all, and wonder how you are all doing. We haven't heard from Michelle or Laurie in many months, but they continue to be in my thoughts and prayers, as do all of the rest of you.
We are stronger together, and I'm very thankful for all of you.
Love and hugs,
Diane.
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Hi Diane! I had been wondering where everyone is. It seemed like this thread has fizzled out. I'm sorry to hear things are tough for you right now, but glad to hear you are finding some resolutions and seeing the light. Slowly but surely....
I can so relate. For me, it's hard to come on here when things aren't going well. Sometimes I feel like Debbie Downer and I'm always so self conscious about revealing all the messes in my life.
Today I have an appt. with a new psychologist who I hope will help me. I've been waiting for weeks for this appt. Like many other survivors, I've been very depressed, anxious, and unable to "move forward." I have lots of other issues going on besides bc, like family issues and my mom's care. It's all so overwhelming. I've had bad experiences lately with psychologists who've left me feeling worse than ever. Let's hope this one works out.
So the latest .... this fibroid thingy in my uterus. It hasn't even been confirmed that's what it is yet. I only had an abdominal US. I need to follow up with a GYN and probably get more tests. I have been unable to speak directly with my RN at the cancer center. She no longer returns my calls and only connects with me through secretaries or email. I feel so alienated! She is willing to help me in clinic, but is no longer just a phone call away. In the beginning and right after my surgeries, she used to return my calls right away, even after hours. I feel so abandoned. The problem is I hate my PCP and my local clinic. I had such anxieties about having the ultrasound that I broke out with cold sores on my lip - a sure sign of stress! In my PCPs office, my pulse was over 100. The care there is mediocre at best. I have issues with the fact that they couldn't find my breast cancer despite annual mammograms, and the diagnostic MRI they did on my bc was messed up. I asked for my records and read through them. I had completely forgotten that they found 4 uterine fibroids back in 2012. I took the wait and see approach as recommended by my PCP. At that time I had an MRI and a CT scan. To think that I probably had breast cancer at the time just freaks me out. So I don't trust them at all. Trouble is, they are the only game in town and I have to drive 3 hours to my cancer clinic, which I am willing to do, but with -25 windchills and arctic temps, well....they seem so far away.
So, I was thinking that my new GYN and clinic needs a bigger picture of my gyncological history and was going over my archives as I call them, lol! Really old medical records from way back. I figured I should make copies for my new GYN - I haven't seen one in YEARS. Well....it brought back all those bad memories and feelings about infertility, endometriosis, surgeries, etc.....OMG, I even have charts of my cycles, dates with temperatures and old xrays! I'm sure I had fibroids back then, too. We stopped short of hormones and IVF. They offered us a surrogate mother situation, but I said no to that. I also said no to adoption which I now deeply regret.
I also had a brush with cervical cancer - it was "just" carcinoma in situ. Thank goodness it was taken care of and I've had normal paps since. So, all this stuff with my uterus, the what ifs of that, has brought on a lot of anxiety and emotions I had packed away like an old suitcase in the attic. I'm weepy as I type this. Good thing I'm going in today to see a therapist!
This weather doesn't help either. Going outside is like taking your life in your hands. Minus 12 this morning and 25 below windchills. I HATE winter!!!
Thanks for letting me vent.
it was nice to hear from you, Diane. Keep your chin up and I'll try to do the same.
HUGS to all,
Mary
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Well,
All I can say is I am right there with you. Depression, family stuff...I look everyday also, to read about you all. I, too am not in a good place. Not bad but just so so and I don't want to bring my downer stuff into your life. Hmmmm sounds like a trend here with us. Some how that makes me feel better in view of your posts....we seem to be experiencing some of the same feelings so to speak in our recovery.
I really admire you for being able to state what you are thinking and feeling. I am tired...and in pain. I am tired of being in pain. My boobs, my side, my back...sigh... just OVER IT.
Anyhow...Yes! my sons are home and they come over almost everyday....pretty awesome. Not without some past issues but I think after some very honest conversations we are good to go. The hugs have been amazing. My DIL is the best any mom could hope for. Love to my Koi.
Wow, Diane so sorry about further surgery. But oh so happy that you are being listened too and the PS will fix everything. I wish you could go back to TDK NOW!.. I get tired of having to reconfigure my life in order to accommodate other "stuff" I do know I am fortunate to have my hubby...he is awesome.
Yes, my kitty is ok. He had all his shots and tests this past Saturday. Good to go!
Oh, Mary...I get the vagina/cervical stuff... I just don't want to deal with any of this anymore....I have tried 3 times in the last 4 months to get my pap and lady examine done....so now I HAVE to do this. I know I have a cyst or something....pain...arrrrgh. part of me just doesn't want to know. Oh well....we have to address our issues.
I know about regrets, Mary. We make decisions that are right at the time. So no regrets. There is no going back...you know? I went through several miscarriages before and between my boys. Diane also. You are perfect , and an inspiration to me.
Gotta go, long day...
I promise I'll post more often.
And get out of my funk.
love to all
Eve
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Thanks, Eve. Yes, you're right as usual .... no regrets. I was just rummaging through some old baggage. Not good. Putting it back now in the suitcase and putting it away!
One of the best techniques I have learned, which I have to constantly remind myself of, is to practice gratitude. EVERY DAY.
I need to post this on my computer:
I AM ENOUGH. I HAVE ENOUGH.
~M
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Wow- I thought I was the only one who was struggling with getting my life back. Don't know how to even describe normal any more. I am still in quite a bit of pain physically, especially on my upper right chest. I have mentioned it to every Dr I've been to, and they all just nod their heads. I am scheduled for surgery Apr 17th to try to reduce the swelling on my chest under my right arm. The surgeon says it's lymphedema- I think it's because no one told me to wear a bra as soon as I could after surgery to support that area.
Family wise, I'm okay, but feel like I live on a roller coaster. From Fl to Ga to SC, every time I turn around, I'm on a plane or going for a long ride in the car. And no one ever mentions the "C" word- it's over and done as far as they are concerned.
Warm hugs to everyone
Anne
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I forgot to add....
My DIL brought me a present from South Korea. She is Thai but went to S.Korea to the U.S. Embassy there in order to become a U.S. citizen. Just faster than trying to obtain it here. Still took her 5 years!
Anywhooooo,
The gift is facial skin care products. The brand name is ESCARGOT. It contains 24k gold....and yes SNAIL SLIME ! That's Snail slime...lol
The lotion actually makes your skin silky or should I say slimy smooth...heh hehmaybe its time we all Tiaraed up again.
love,
Eve
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I'm in the worst funk. I haven't left the house in a week. It's taking me much longer than normal to bounce back from the Herceptin infusion this time. I've also just switched tamoxifen for femara. Added in magnesium to my supplements. Not sure of the cause.
I'm in pain, achy, super depressed (despite my meds), tired, fatigued and haven't moved on. I'm mad at people who tell me to do so. I Have so much anxiety that I can't look at my computer (hence posting fr my iPhone) because I'm afraid of having no work or having too much work or anything deadline related. I won't even go in the room where I last left it. Chemo brain has me forgetful and stress has me unable to handle much of anything. I can't decide if I'm over or under medicated, but nothing feels like it works. Im afraid of active treatment ending this spring (white coat syndrome). Nothing tastes good to eat. I can barely read - too distracted. I'm making mistakes on easy sudoku (usually I like the super hard puzzles). I love yoga but can't make myself leave my house to get there. I don't enjoy doing anything I usually do - even watching Netflix isn't helping. And I feel bad for complaining because compared to others, I have it great.
I had thought that radio silence in this group meant y'all had moved on. Since we've all been in silent misery, hugs to everyone. I sure need them!
Katie
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Anne, sorry to hear you are still having problems with swelling. I've never heard of surgery as a treatment to reduce swelling from lympehema, but if it works, that's awesome.
Eve, Congrats to your DIL!
and have fun with your snail slime, lol! 
Yes, I agree. Time to dust off the old tiaras and spread your wings!
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HUGS Katie!! We must have posted at the same time. I missed your message.
I sure wish that doctors had a better answer for us. Seems like as we go through treatments, and especially as we end them, there should be a program with experts waiting in line to help prop us up again. Bear with me here while I dream....as soon as we end one phase of treatment, our team should have a recovery plan mapped out. They should automatically set us up with compassionate psychologists and others with specialized experience in survivorship who can help us avoid common pitfalls. There should be a comprehensive integrative program available to everyone - Reiki, aromatherapy, acupuncture, massage, etc. should be offered a la carte to every cancer patient. Wait. Some centers are already doing that. But it's still so new and insurance doesn't cover it.
In a perfect world there would be cancer spas attached to cancer centers where we go to get pampered and listened to after getting beat up by surgeries, chemo and rads. There should hand out a list of helplines we can call 24/7 with helpful, knowledgeable, compassionate volunteers to answer those burning "what if" questions that keep us up at night. They should hand out special "insomnia" gift bags including DVDs with relaxing music, eye masks, chamomile tea, melatonin, and guides on how to meditate, along with aromatherapy and other comfort items. Then a "nutrition" bag with a free visits to a nutritionist, recipes, and an individualized plan for vitamins and supplements that to help you gain energy and heal faster. And then another "PT" bag to try to figure out all the different kinds of pain and side effects experienced by most women.
I believe many cancer patients go through this after recovery. Many of them eventually figure out what works for them. It's a combination of things. But why do we have to reinvent the wheel? It should be easier, that's all I"m saying.
I know, I'm a dreamer.
Me - I'd want a personal life coach. Someone to come over to my house, look at what's going on, and talk me through the day, saying "Yes, you're up. Get dressed. Great! Okay, now let's get your priorities figured out and find out what you need to do today....come on, you can do it!" And then go over my giant TO DO list to try and get my life on track. But really, I think a Caribbean cruise would go a long way towards making me feel better, lol!
Okay, your guys' turn. What would you "demand" if you could have anything right now to help you feel better? Don't hold back....if you had a magic wand, what would you wish for?
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WTF.......
Like the term "radio silence". Uncanny that none of us wants to talk about the crappy way we are feeling....but we are mostly experiencing the same stuff.... this just SUCKS!! K putting the TIARA on!!!
I think we all know that it is better to speak OUTLOUD about the way we are feeling.
I am not on any medications, except alcohol. :P Yup I am drinking waaaaaaay to much. Not to the point of getting drunk but still I know it is too much. It is my pain killer on a bunch of different levels. No, I won't take anti- depressants...been there done that for the better part of my life.....hate them. I am stuck at home..no car....but then I have bouts of vertigo...where it can be dangerous for me to drive. (excuse) I've turned into a hermit. I'd like to get my rear outta here, get my a$$ up off the couch but my back is so bad that when I stand up I am in severe pain...the only thing the docs do for that is to give me pain killers and muscle relaxers...yay and no way am I going to take addictive drugs...so hence the drinking. Trying to work it out.
That's my confession.
At the same time I am grateful. My sons are out of the military and home. I have a fabulous husband. I have a roof over my head and a great dog and cat. It's almost like living in a cocoon knowing I will have to complete the metamorphous at some point. Not ready to be a butterfly yet.
I will always try to spread those wings.
through all the depressing crud...this is what I have been doing...hope you like my little guys.
They will sit in your hand...very small. The White polar bear ...spoke to our friend the other night. His father passed away a few days ago. I had Joe hold the bear and he just cried. Somehow these little guys speak to your heart. So of course I sent Joe home with the bear..My sons just love them. So cool, Joe is a former Marine and served in Viet Nam...you know my kids history....so I have all these tough guys that melt when they have one of my little bears in their hands....sweet.
good stuff!
love
E
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MARY!!!!!!
I was delayed when I was posting.
Yes yes and yes.
My wish is that Doctors would simply LISTEN!!!! Please don't talk AT me...I know ME! darn it.
My magic wand....wow what a concept. I could fill a book. Limiting it to cancer treatment and the aftermath.... I had it very easy. no chemo, no rads. I am a lucky lady. But, I wish there was a back up plan in place where I had support ...a phone call or two during the past year from a breast cancer survivor...just to touch base. My BS surgeon and the hospital has a fabulous program for BC patients....somehow I fell through the cracks. I don't know why?? is it because I don't have insurance?? We paid my bills out of pocket...so I don't get it. But I feel so alone in this...locally.
My magic wand would be to have transportation for people needing to get to radiation treatment and chemo and Dr. appointments. My BS has a program called "The Pink Army" My magic wand would be to have a way for volunteers to transport people to their appointments and sit with people that are scared and just simply hold their hand.
I also think that it would be great if one could have a partner, Someone that was a survivor that would go through the whole process with you. Someone that had survived and could give you a perspective ..of their life...after surgery... My mom did that after her bout with colon cancer and a colostomy. She would go talk with people in the hospital and hold their hand and tell them about her experience.. What a great lady, my mom. Her doc would send her roses every time she visited someone. We need more of that.
K hubby just called....8pm on his way home and wants a cigar before he eats dinner....well, I am eating now...lol. Nothing like working 17 hour days..
love, as always
Eve
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Ok girlfriends, I have so much to catch up on and promise to come back with more.
In the mean time tiara city it is.
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Eve - Those bears are soooo CUUUUUTE!!! I just love 'em! You have a real talent and the bears reflect the love you give to others. You and your mom are two of a kind.
Sorry you fell through the cracks. That just sucks.
When I get stressed, I reach for my crochet hook. I find making things so therapeutic. I crocheted a Yoda bear for my friend's little boy and he absolutely LOVED it. To see his eyes light up when he opened his present, well....it made my year.
I'm always making crafty things for mom - a vintage shadowbox, a scrapbook of my parent's love letters, an activity apron. Right now I'm working on putting together a rummage box with sewing items.
Yes to more roses! And teddy bears! And holding hands!
~M
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Thanks Mary,
The black bear looks a little crazed in the picture...lol maybe a reflection of me at times. The designs are mine. I have looked at patterns online for hours and developed my own.
My older son has a new girl friend. he wants me to make a seal point Siamese cat for her to match her kitty...I have drafted the pattern...the fur is proving to be a real challenge. Keeps me busy and I love to make things that causes people to smile and be surprised in their own reaction to something. fun stuff! yes?!
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I want to take Eve's Pink Army shuttle to Mary's cancer spa! Now that is something to get me to leave the house! Mary, I love your comprehensive plan. I can tell you've put a lot of thought into it. They are building a new cancer center here. I highly doubt it will include room for any complimentary care services. At my last MO appt., I asked whether there could be a job for me at the new center - administration or managing a center with spa services and diet suggestions and cookbooks. He looked at me like I was insane. Well, to put it in context, I also had just told him that chemo brain was affecting my ability to work, suggested that I become his partner in writing research papers for San Antonio (to which he replied, get a grant), and then landed the spa idea on him. Lol. He must think I'm ready to be committed. It maybe I'm a typical cancer patient at this stage of grasping for things?
I have finally learned why people give hope to magic potions in jars to prevent evils from returning.
Keeping it real, my MO said my anxiety over tamoxifen vs. Femara (with OS) was likely misplaced, in that you can't cure cured. Meaning that he thinks I'm likely in the clear and it does not make a difference which path to take. But then he next said that if my cancer comes back, it will be lethal. I'm still chewing on that
Eve, I am so sorry you are stuck at home in pain. I'm taking lessons from you though because I never would have guessed it from your upbeat and entertaining posts here. I do look forward to reading words from my sisters and apologize if I've been a Debby Downer for others. This is my venting place.
And I made it out of the house this morning. I drove my daughter to school. Baby steps. (Back in bed with coffee to post). I also am going for a first appt. to an acupuncturist today. Her office is between me and town, so it felt doable. At least I'm trying to get myself out of my funk. I'm kind of scared but fascinated about it. Trying to figure out my top two complaints for her to address, in case I need to choose. Will report back!
Katie
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Isn't it strange that even here, where we know we are safe to be real, we still all either put on a strong face or just don't post at all, rather than let anyone know the "truth"? Years ago, we forced our son to go into the military because he was headed down a really bad path. We flew to San Antonio for his graduation from boot camp, and stayed at the local motel they recommended, which offered a free breakfast for military families. Everyone was talking about how proud we were of our kids until I said that we were hoping this would be the start of a better life for Rob. Suddenly everyone opened up- several had daughters who had babies that the parents were raising so the girls could grow up, others had boys in way more trouble than Rob and the choice had been the military or jail. Like here, it just took one person, being honest, to open the door for everyone to be honest.
It hurts me to stand up- every single time. My whole upper chest hurts. I never thought I would still be hurting 13 months after surgery. My scars are just about gone, but it still hurts. And I feel like I am constantly wearing a bra that is several sizes too small, even when I am not wearing one at all- which isn't often since is wear one 24/7.
My daughter told me about 2weeks ago that our local hospital's fitness center has a cancer recovery program. It is free for the first two months. I called and was accepted. Thank God I had one Herceptin infusion in South Fl.- you have to be referred by a local Onc. It is supposed to include exercise, nutrition and counseling. So far, all I've had is the exercise, but at least it's a start. I have never done formal exercise before, except for a treadmill occasionally. They have me on 3 machines and doing 2 floor exercises. I haven't joined any exercise or aquatic classes yet, because just going and doing what they taught me is about all I can handle. But I am doing that.
My problem as usual is traveling. I leave tomorrow to go to Tampa for my cousin's daughter's funeral, so that's 6 days I won't be at the gym, then at the end of March, I am going to Disney for 5 days, then in early Apr I have to go back to ATL for surgery. Mary- I have never heard of surgery for lymphedema either, but I think he left extra skin for reconstruction and the LE swelling has found a nice little pocket there to make its home. By tightening that up, the fluid will have to move. At least, that's what I am telling myself.
Wishing you all hugs and silver linings today
Anne
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Katie, you are not a Debbie Downer. We have always maintained this thread as a safe place where we can all vent - no rules and no judging allowed.
So....on the shuttle to the cancer spa - all first timers get a gift bag with an Eve Teddy Bear !
I seriously do not think it is unrealistic to expect MORE from our doctors. Maybe if we pushed for more supportive services they might realize the need and the demand. There are other clinics within about 50 miles or more from my home that offer these types of services, so I know it's already out there in the mainstream.
I've been shopping around for a new therapist, or anyone who knows something about bc survivorship. I setup an appt. with a psychologist who also does acupuncture. I'm just kind of curious as I've never had it done before.
Good job, Katie, on getting out of the house! Yay!
Today I am making an effort to get out and attend a Yoga class. I feel guilty spending money when I'm not working, but I try to get the best bang for my buck. I'm worth it!~M
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Just wanted to say
I LOVE YOU LADIES.......
E
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Love you too! ❤💜❤💜
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Love you guys, too!
Well, I finally did it - I signed up for a YMCA membership. I tried out several Yoga classes town and decided the Y has more to offer. Plus I get reimbursed if I go 8 times a month and that's the incentive I need. My cost is only $17 month. Not bad, huh?
I figure I can use the pool, do Yoga, or the treadmill. They have a Arthritis Exercise and Joints in Motion class in the warm pool, which sounds like something I can do. The Gentle Yoga is pretty low key, which is just what I need, but I still have to modify for down dogs and planks.... too hard on my arm. I hate havin to worry about that, but if I don't wear my sleeve and take precautions, my LE flares up.
Yay, Anne! So glad you are going to be able to use the cancer recovery program at your hospital. That's awesome! Are you seeing a LE therapist or are they going to wait on all that until after surgery? It took me months to find a LE therapist who really knew her stuff. Like you I was in pain, although maybe not as bad. It was very uncomfortable - I couldn't wear a normal bra, lay on my side, or go without some kind of compression garment day and night. And the worst thing was that no one seemed to be able to help me. But this wonderful gal I found worked with me to get rid of my swelling and shoulder pain. It took several weeks and a lot of work on my part at home. I never thought I'd see the day, but the pain and swelling is gone and I now have complete ROM. Such a wonderful thing!
Diane, what kind of PT have you had? Hope things are improving for you. I have some joint pain in one side of my hip. It's bad enough so that I can't sit in a simple cross legged position. But I think mine is partly due to an old injury combined with osteoarthritis I had before bc. My goal is to be able to sit in Yoga class cross legged like everyone else, or at least have the same amount of flexibility as in my other side and not have it hurt. I'm sure that'll take time, too.
Have a great weekend ladies!
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Hi Mary: The knee rehab is sort of slow. They have me doing a few minutes on the stationary bike and some gentle, low weight leg presses and mini-squats with straight leg raises to the front and side. He also hooks me up to the electric stim unit and has me do straight leg raises while trying to activate my quads...it is crazy how the surgery took away my ability to trigger them. I'm hearing that in another few weeks (I'm almost 9 weeks out from the surgery), I'll be able to get more aggressive because the ACL graft should be integrated and stronger by then. I see the surgeon on Thursday, so we'll see what he says.
I know from FB that you had a flare up on your LE. Take it easy and try to be patient. I know it's easier said than done. We're all with you!
Anne - I'm sorry for all the pain you are still experiencing so much pain, but glad you are going to be able to get some help.
Eve - What can I say, you know I love you. I wish I could just take away all the pain with that magic wand. As to my wish...I would love to be able to whisk us all away to a beautiful tropical island retreat where we could sip Mai Tai's and talk real time to each other, taking time out for massages (special therapeutic ones for the LE ladies) and to float our cares away in beautiful, azure waters, tiara sparkling in the sunshine. I do buy the occasional lottery ticket, so you never know.
Katie - Baby step will still move you forward, so bravo! If you get a good acupuncturist, it can be amazing. If I could afford it, or it was covered, I would be going all the time. It is fantastic for healing especially, since they can increase your circulation. Writing this, I think I'll see about going after my next surgery.
I vote we all do our best to remember why we all are here and not worry so much about bringing each other down. Hearing about the struggles that all of you are having just makes me want to reach out and hug you all and takes the focus off my own stuff. We all know that the best way to move past something is to talk about it. We need to share the good, the bad, and yes, the ugly. There is no safer place to do so.
It sometimes takes me a while to post. The full time job and single mom thing can get in the way, but I read every post and keep you all in my heart.
I love all you ladies.
Diane.
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I like your wish, Diane! Lol - tiaras sparking in the sunshine. Sounds divine!
Good luck with your appt. on Thursday!
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Mary,
I always think that! When someone says how are you... I always want to be like do u really want to know? Should I really tell them how I am or just say good?!0 -
Hi all
I agree with Mary- we may choose to edit our responses to the "outside world" but here on the cancer planet, we are free to be completely honest- about everything: how we feel inside and what's happening outside that effects us. I have really come to treasure having a place to voice my emotions where I know that even if they are not completely understood (which rarely happens), they will still be accepted and validated without judgement. I have never been one to talk about me, and this has been an amazing journey in that I have learned to voice my feelings, and have found others that really care about how I am feeling, good or bad. That is a wonderful gift
Anne
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Go Anne! Well said!!
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yes! Brava Anne.
I am like you...I don't like to complain about my health. However I am a willing listener when others want to talk about their ailments or troubles in their lives. I never, ever want to be a burden. Like you I find my friends and family are so lovingly supportive. It is pretty cool!
The past few days, having my kids home, have been wonderful. Getting back in touch with my sons, who are amazing adults has been an absolute joy. My son Steven and his wife, Koi, have invited me to go house hunting with them. We haven't found anything that is within their budget that is something I would recommend for a purchase. (I love houses, was a realtor for a few years and have remodeled several houses) So I suggested that they look for a townhome or apt. to rent while they get their feet on the ground.
They decided to do just that and rent along with my other son Sean. No one has a job....Sean is in college, Steven starts in May. They both have a BAH (basic housing allowance) through the military. Koi will go to work as soon as they get setteled.
ANYWAY........The 4 of us....OMG I haven't been able to say that in 9 years....Went out today. ALL day...lol I am tired. We viewed several Apts. The last one was by a fluke...a wrong turn...BINGO!
We found a beeeeeutiful new townhome. 1925 sq ft. Granite, stainless ...it is huge. Fab landscaping...and every amenity you can think of including an indoor basketball court. They even have a garage. It is a bit pricey, but I asked if the extra $125 a month over the much smaller places would offer them a more peaceful feeling and a home to share. The resounding answer was yes...so they went for it. In the office there were pictures of Koi fish on the walls...I told them it was a sign...lol. So they move in in a week. It was so much fun seeing my kids so excited for their future and their military service paying off.
Great day and I am a happy mom.
hope you all are feeling better.
love,
eve
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Beverly - that's a tough question. I think you have to follow your gut on that one. Sometimes I just blurt out something when people ask. Other times I just say what I think they want to hear.
Anne - I think it's also interesting that we feel free to share whatever - good or bad, yet this is a forum open to the whole wide world. Sometimes knowing that holds me back. I wish we could all meet via Skype - wouldn't that be fun?
Eve - So glad to hear you are enjoying the good life with your wonderful family. How exciting to have discovered the perfect place with them. Please send pics!
The winter here is finally losing its grip. The snow is melting and it's 35 degrees!!! I'm sooooo ready for spring, but it's gonna be awhile yet!
Looks like I got my wish. I finally found some providers that offer comprehensive rehabilitation services. It's kind of a drive and the clinics are in different locations, but that's okay. I'm used to driving. I spoke with a CNP yesterday who setup all the appts. for me. I told her about some of the symptoms I"m having - like with memory issues - among other things. So on Monday I'm seeing an OT therapist for cognitive therapy. Hmm, I don't know how successful that will be, lol! She also arranged for fitness therapy sessions with a PT who works just with bc survivors. We even found a place close to mom's so that should motivate me even more! Plus, I'm seeing a nutritionist, a psychologist, and last but not least, I hope to attend some of their bc support groups. It's interesting because the nurse said that it's usually at this point in recovery when most women start looking around for help. So we are all NORMAL. Feel better? I did!
This weekend DH wants to drive up north to check on the cabin. Sounds like a great idea to me.
I'm making homemade pizza tonight.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Oh, here's a great cartoon for you all - I don't know about you, but I sure can relate....
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