STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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I exactly have the same feeling Micmel.
JanetMara
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Meow13.
I feel you,I just had 2 sessions and I stopped it due to harsh side effects.Now I am doing what Naturopathics have told me,diet avoiding sugar.My ONCO told me to go see a RADIATION ONCO,my platelets are going lower and lower and scared of bleeding but not my ONCOLOGIST,he never cared,only for the money he gets from CHEMO.
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Bcincolorado.. hahaha.. yeah, the pink stuff. I forgot that one
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I think years and years from now people are going to be shocked and mortified reading about how people with cancer were poisoned as a treatment.
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mistyeyes just like we laugh when we read how things were treated in the early 1900s. We are all really test subjects for future generations.
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And quit calling it a journey, it's a nightmare!
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I'm so sorry that you find it a nightmare. That is such a horrible experience for you. For some of us it truly is a long and stressful journey fraught with success and pitfalls both, we should Describe it as it occurs for each of us. A journey, a nightmare, a process, a path. It is what it is.
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Well, I choose my journeys, I choose my paths. I don't choose my nightmares!
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Speaking as one of the many who have to be in treatment FOREVER, I choose not to call it a journey. It is simply part of my life. I do however respect each person's right to describe their own cancer in their own way. Journey may help to cope, nightmare can be true to. Whatever helps to get us through the day.
The only time I get angry is when people tell me how I should react if they haven't had cancer or another awful illness.
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I hate calling it a journey too.
It's not like i called a travel agent and asked them to book me on this trip to hell.
I pick and plan my own "journeys," and this is certainly not one i would've chosen.
L
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Mara51506 - today was my last IV chemo and I thought "it is the last, no matter what happens in the future. I will take another options, even none, but this never again". I have a supraclav node, so if radiation can't take care about it I might be in stage 4 soon but this treatmen was brutal to me. I will not repeat it
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My bs said it was like climbing a mountain. That doesn't work for me, not helpful. It is never over until we die, but it is putting it aside and living. I still have hope of better medicine, a real cure that doesn't affect good health.
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You guys nailed it. I’m sick of the pink crap too, people calling you a fighter - as if we had a choice, call me if you need me - please how many people actually do that? One of my neighbors said I was going to bring you a dish but I know your husband is a good cook. Seriously? This is the same neighbor who was the neighborhood crier and told everyone in our cove and included former neighbors of my DX. Wasn’t her story to tell.
This is truly a disease that you can’t possibly relate to unless you have had it or have it. We are branded with the C word forever and will always be looking over our shoulder for the other shoe to drop. There is no cure. We are just managing our disease.
I know that commercial where they have a lady helping cancer patients find a wig, etc. I think it’s Walgreen’s.
My wish is that they put more emphasis and money into helping women pay the exorbitant bills that come with this DX. I know some ladies who are near bankruptcy paying for meds, etc. and what about the poor ladies who can’t afford the treatments? What happens to them?
I’m just sick of these wealthy celebrities sharing their “journeys.” They aren’t the average Joes.
Off my soapbox now.
Diane
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Wow! You all have just described me and my feelings!! I was recently diagnosed and will have my first chemo treatment May 9th. UGH! My emotions are all over the place and being a person who did not cry (or could hold it really well) i literally will cry within seconds. I am so sad/mad, feel that friends and family "do not get it" and so mad that I am so healthy right now and feel great, just so they can put poison in my body and make me feel awful!! just to have the "opportunity" to get radiation after. A whole year is being devoted to BC. :-(
How are we still at this point??? I seriously want to scream at the top of my lungs.
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I bet your BS never had breast cancer..
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I call it a battle,I resist and resist and just fighting it everyday like everybody but the body is just poisoned by CHEMO the MO decided to give me. I've also read that the CHEMO is as acidic as a CAR battery,I could just imagine how corroding it is especially our veins and organs. I hate CHEMO and RADIATION and my MO suggested me to have radiation where it damages all the more,then there will be fibrosis,broken bones. Besides CHEMO and radiation eventually will cause secondary cancer.I don't want to suffer with the side effects anymore. I chose to fight cancer with natural means,herbals,diet,vitamins,exercise and medication.And if God says it's time to come home,he will hold my hand and take me home.
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Yndorian,
I have the same reaction to CHEMO, I had a supraclavicular node too,I took just 2 sessions of CHEMO and stopped it.My MO suggested radiation,I will meet with the radiation ONCOLOGIST 05/03/2019 but really am not thinking of taking radiation,both chemo and radiation will cause secondary cancer and I will be prone to Clavicular and rib fracture and stenosis of my artery supplying my brain due to radiation. There is a treatment/cure out there but the BIG PHARMA because of money just controls all cancer treatments.
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Never forget that chemo is a CHOICE. No one can force you to take it....not your dr, not even your family.
We do CONTROL some of the Tx's. I've postponed several of my sessions because I've either needed a break due to excessive fatigue or I had a trip planned.
One of my film professors from graduate school was Dx'd with advanced prostate cancer some years back. They offered him chemo, the whole shebang, and he turned it all down, saying he just wanted to enjoy his last weeks and go peacefully. He "could have" had several months more if he subjected his body to the chemo, but he said, "What for? No matter what we do I'm still going to die, whether it's in a matter of months or a matter of weeks."
I respect my professor's choice, but I'm still willing to take "the poison" because I'm not ready to go yet.
I just "celebrated" (yeah, as if...) my three year cancerversary. It's not getting any easier, let me tell you. I can barely walk or get in and out of the car. I'm exhausted ALL THE TIME. I have to sit at the kitchen table to prep vegetables or stir batter. I wear full thigh-high support hose because of chemo lymphedema, The weight gain caused by chemo fluid retention has been miserable. (Heck - I only eat two well-balanced meals a day - no snacks.) I have to wear long-sleeve shirts all the time because I have those hideous purple/reddish spots up and down my arms from the thrombocytopenia brought on by low platelets. I'm losing my eyesight and can't drive anymore. Because of multiple brain mets, my short-term memory is gone.
But I'm not ready to go yet.
....Ask me in a couple of months, and the answer may be different...
My death binder was set up months ago. I've written my obit, and designed the program for my memorial, picking out the music, etc. I bought my urn and made all the payments for my interment at the cemetery, so I'm not burying my head in the sand.
When the time comes, the choice is MINE. I will choose VSED (Voluntarily Stopping Eating & Drinking), and let MY BODY decide when it's time to let go. I will do nothing to prolong the agony/misery.
I pray for a quick and pain-managed transition home.
L
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Hi Lita, it feels good to take control of the things you can. I am thinking of the green composting option. I really feel no one should critisize the treatment options people choose. My neighbor is of the belief you should do everything your doctor says, well I don't share that belief. My feeling, they are advisors to take into consideration.
So many of us live with the fear of cancer coming back stage 4. I always think of the time I asked my husband's Aunt, she was approaching her 100th birthday, if she was afraid of her breast cancer coming back. She laughed and said that is the last thing I worry about. Oh would I love to say that!
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Not sure what I am about to write even belongs here, but not sure where to ask.
Are all hospital records a mess, or just the hospital I am being treated at? I gave initial information on my first visit, but the doctors also imported information from other doctors, hospitals, etc. Much of the information, mostly medications and test dates, is wrong. Each visit they ask what medications I am on, if there any changes and each time I watch the nurse enter info into the computer. Yesterday I saw the PA from plastic surgery. I gave the nurse a paper with all the medicine I take circled in green, those I no longer take circled in orange. At the end of the appointment I got a long print out, four pages of which were medications supposedly updated yet totally wrong! Not one medication was taken off the list. I can understand if they don't want to totally remove the medication, as it might help in the future if they see I had been on a certain medication before, but shouldn't there be some indication as to which medications are being taken at this time and which are not? This happened too many times for it to be the mistake of the nurses. I think the system is a mess! Does anyone read those lists? If it is only that way on my copy I don't care, although it is a waste of paper, but how do I know what is showing up when the doctors look at it?
I won't make changes anymore. What is the point? They even have a booster tetanus vaccine listed as a medication after I told them it isn't a medication numerous times!
I'm not angry, only greatly frustrated!
Anyone else have this problem?
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Yndarian, when treatment eventually falls and I progress, I will no longer take chemo myself. I live on my own and really have no reason to keep extending my own life to get weaker and weaker. I would look into hospice at that point.
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@edwards750.....no it was not her story to tell!! Sorry that happened to you.
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I agree though Ms Lita,you're so tough and so smart. praying for your daily relief from pain and lymphedema.
It's such a dreadful disease that we are experiencing,horrible life it creates into our bodies. I am just very angry everyday.
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Mavericksmom, one of the nurses (I forget which doctor's office) explained that meds we've stopped are kept in the current list for about four months. I THINK it has to do with the possibility of trace interactions.
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Thanks carpediem - I was so ticked at her. Her personal life is an open book because she literally tells everything. People can rarely get a word in edgewise. She and her husband moved to a farm in Arkansas in the middle of nowhere so she’s chatting over the fence with the many animals, etc like Dr. Dolittle. Anyone or anything who will listen.
Diane
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Mavsmom, I use 3-4 different portals and all have outdated and wrong information posted. You can go in and add/fix/post all the info you want but I think it is THEIR job, not mine. And there is never any current or valuable information posted by them anyway. The medical portals have limited value. Medical practices do not hire extra personnel to handle electronic communications with patients. They just add that task to the already overworked people they have. Worthless. Lab results seem to be the only meaningful item I look for/at. That inaccuracy usually also applies to the records they have in their possession since they get those from the computer system. Circular inaccuracy.
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the affordable care act insurance is a joke! I found a lump in my breast last May 2018, I did not have insurance and read so many things about how free mammograms were not covered if it was diagnostic mammogram, so I waited until November to enroll in this affordable health care. It was effective in January and I can find very few doctors or hospitals that accept this insurance. It is Blue Cross Blue Shield soI thought I had picked a reputable company, WRONG, I was diagnosed march the11th and still have not had surgery because of insurance! I cannot get on womens health Medicaid’s because I am insured lmao. I am so frustrated with this I could scream! Now the surgeon I have found takes my insurance but the hospital he works out of doesn’t so more delay
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Is there a social worker you can contact at the hospital or with the breast surgeon to get assistance in care? That is really awful!! You should be able to get someone to help you get the surgery you need without going bankrupt or letting cancer progress in the meantime.
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Sorry forgot to say if you have not read through the main pages here on the financial info here there is a lot of info there.
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Above link in clickable form:
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