CRAZY TOWN WAITING ROOM - TESTS coming up? All Stages Welcome.
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Octogirl, I'm so sorry. I remember when I was in college and our state university had a shooting. Many of my former high school classmates and my best friend were enrolled there, and it was so scary, waiting to hear news about them. I remember listening to the news updates, waiting to hear from my best friend, worried that she might have been in the building where it happened. Praying that the people taken to the hospital will be OK.
This seems like such a small thing in light of the news, but my Oncotype came back at 15. My oncologist does not recommend chemotherapy, given the risk/benefit ratio. Because I'm in Crazy Town, I was almost less worried about the score, and more worried they'd discover some mixup that left me ER negative instead of positive. But I'm still ER/PR positive. And crazy. Definitely crazy.
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Momwriter, if your C-town museum had a library, I'd add Sonia Sotomayor's autobiography. I found it really inspirational. Nice idea!
Just flying by again, Crazies, busy with insurance and work and volunteer stuff and scheduling lymphedema treatment and rads, and it's all coming together in one big, scary stew. Let us say that today, I made 5 (count them) calls about one of our insurance issues. What seems to matter is whether you get a scripted person or a thinking person on the other end. Finally ended with the latter and that particular issue was resolved. Meeting tomorrow with someone in the billing dept. at the hospital to see if we can reconcile the insurer's statements and the hospital's billing statements. The whole thing is sort of like a huge ball of tangled string: you pick and pick and pick and get it undone a little at a time.
Ducky, I LOVE your inspirational (not) sign!
Cubby, I also have that issue with stuff going out of the house, and then new stuff comes flooding in. It's stuff cancer.
Shorfi, did you get some pain relief? Hope so!
Octo, thinking of you. Oh heck, thinking of all of you. Happy thoughts to all! Stuffing my leftover brisket down the pneumatic tubes--or at least I would if I weren't having it tonight.
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Cubbie- so very happy to hear of your low Oncotype score. We all needed some good news around here.
Hugs and a couple of balloons for you! 🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎉🎉 (for no chemo)
So relieved to hear you're still CRAZY. HAHA
👭
🎪🎪🎪🎪🎪
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Cubbie, We celebrate every bit of good news here in Crazy Town. I'm so happy for you. That is awesome that you won't need chemo. Doing a happy dance for you!
Octo, Sending extra hugs for you today. ((((((((((((Octo))))))))))))))
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happy dance for Cubbie!!!! Yay!
Thanks for the hugs all; more later.
Octogir
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Octo, that really is awful. I always think of Merced as being unsullied by the world, but then like Ducky said, they did it to the Amish people, too. The world is just one messed up place, and somehow, it seems more so today than yesterday. Weird feeling in the air. I am so sorry it was so near you, but I am so glad you were home!
Thanks, everybody for not making fun of me for playing with those little... can I call them toys? Instead of dolls? I made some little movies with them, one day I will post to youtube, when I get good and brave. Or set up little vignettes that I then photograph, like this vaguely ominous one. I was thinking I would paint them on canvas, my other world.
Moths ate a hole in some very expensive wool slippers of my man's! Tomorrow I am waging war on them, I don't want them eating anything else! There was a Alpacan throw he brought back from the Yucatan that was just full of them, but we didn't know, because it was not in plain sight. ... I am really not liking bugs anymore. So, tomorrow I am strapping on my jet pack vac, and making their little world suck.
I am giving a special thank to Slow, Just for being herself! I was taking a few steps down those stairs...
If any of you know Blondie, there is now a special thread for her.
My pain doc consult turned out pretty good, I think. We have a plan of action for a month, we are trying a blood pressure medicine, which I thought was kind of weird because my blood pressure is like the only thing about me that is ever perfect. I will try it for a month. I will probably be getting a shot of something in my breast/axilla are right before my next mammo in december. THAT sounds good to me! My imagination tells me that it will split open. Maybe if I close my eyes I won't even know they are doing it...It didn't hurt that he is very young and handsome with good sense of humor too! He told me i can complain to him all I want! So now don't have to bother ALL my other docs about this issue.
A couple weeks ago, I got my 'green card', and a few items of mmj, and I tried that for a few days, a very minuscule amount, and it really helped! I got more done, I was a little lighter on my feet, and it livened up my imagination too. I am not sure I will tell him about that right off the bat. But I will keep it for just in case his plan doesn't work.
Please everybody be careful
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Hi Best Friends
Just came back from the Internal Medicine Doc........in his opinion it was not a TIA......he said all the testing was normal..........said a TIA would not cause that long lapse of memory........and I had no other signs.........FAST.......you know the ones.....face, arms,speech.....whatever.
He said the carotid was less then 50% blocked, and they don't give any numbers below 50% on the report.......MRA, MRI, were all normal.....
Of course I drove him nuts with questions.....I told him about the house down the shore, the Heloc load being recalled.......my kids driving me nuts at times........and he said if you would have told me that first I would have told you what caused it.........I said "ok, but why now, why when nothing was bothering me should this happen".........he said "the body reached its breaking point......you thought you were handling your stress ok, but the inside of the body was not..............
So it is what it is......and he said I might feel like shit for a little longer, cause this was a lot for the body to handle.........so that's my story, and I am sticking with it...................I still feel like I know nothing..............but I will deal with it.
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Tomboy, I'm glad you found someone to work with you and I hope it helps!! No one should have to be in pain. I love your Shopkin setup. Looks cozy in there!! Here is a link to Blondie's thread for anyone that wants to visit her.
https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/135/topics/836461?page=1#idx_5
Ducky, Stress can be so hard on a body. I'm really glad they didn't find anything serious. I hope you're able to rest your mind. You should go have a massage! Grab one of your daughter or granddaughters and go have one!!! Maybe we can use your wrist transporter to get me there and I'll go with you. Do something fun and relaxing.
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Okay, Duck, i had heard of that FAST before and can never memorize it. Is it Face Arm Speech....Tits?
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I think that doctor may be right, and that you don't have to worry about it happening again. You have been through a lot, and are also a big hero of mine for that. I think you need more fun, but I have never seen anybody have more fun than you! Thank you for warning me in the pm about the bad boo boo in my drawers.
Hi, Sula, and gaia, and jackbirdie, and Pop, and and and and all of you
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hey there Crazies,
Ducky,
I'm with your doc you have been through tons of stuff and the body has it's own way of saying "enough" evidently that was the message the inside was sending. Hoping you continue to mend.
Octo,
Just heard about the events on campus as I have been under a rock working all day. So glad you weren't physically there, even though emotionally it was different. Hope your friends at school stayed safe.
Tom ,
I think it's cool you have toys. I have a bunch of the too all gathered around my monitor in the office watching me work, mainly bears now. I'm done with mice.
Slow,
Good to see the mayor back in town.
Cubbie,
So happy for the low onca#!!
Jack, Shorfi, Proud, Rainn...and whoever else I'm forgetting.... hope all of us have a peaceful night and a better tomorrow
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Cubbie, mazel tov on the low Oncotype score! Not needing chemo is a major relief.
Ducky, if stress caused your episode, the hell with the big girl panties. You have permission to stroll butt-naked if it helps mellow you out.
Octo, mass attacks are horrifying enough, but I can't imagine having one hit so close to home.
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Hi CT residents:
Thanks for the words of support today, much appreciated. We know a bit more now: only four people were stabbed: two students, a contractor working on campus, and a staff member. All are expected to survive. Only the contractor has already been identified (he is with a local business and his father who owns that business has already talked with the media). No identification yet of the other victims or of the stabber, who was killed by police, but they have said he was a student. Which of course is also unspeakably tragic.
However, the entire campus is still being called an active crime scene this evening, and apparently one of the dorms has been evacuated and is being searched....FBI are on scene. So everyone is still very jittery in addition to trying to process what this all means going forward. Campus is closed again tomorrow, so I will stay home, and try and keep my mind off of the sadness....Oddly enough, reading your posts helps with that. You all make me smile and laugh, even when I feel like crying!
So keep those stories of little toys and coloring books and pics of signs and thoughts of museums and all the rest coming....
Hugs to all;
Octogirl
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PTS whatever you do don't Google adult coloring books--lesson learned-- try mandalas.
I had the best intentions of doing all sorts of things during spa days but napping took precedence. Especially today during the 90 min H.
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Octo, glad you weren't on campus. It is so unsettling when it hits so close to heart and home. Praying for all those affected directly and indirectly.
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Hugs to you Shorfi and Ducky. This medical stuff really wears you down. Ducky, I had wondered if your memory loss might be a delayed stress reaction. I remember reading about that in psychology class a long, long time ago.
Octogirl, I missed that thread - thanks for pointing it out. It looks now like I will be having radiation instead of more lymph node surgery? Recommendations keep changing. It's weird, yesterday I thought for sure you and I would be comparing notes on chemotherapy, now it looks like I will be heading into radiation about the time Simplicity finishes.
Noddy, I agree with Katy - I would want to talk to my MO about anything that would increase estrogen levels, even temporarily, and make sure I understood how this worked before I agreed to it.
Tomboy, I don't even want to think about the holidays this year. I've got enough going on without the usual holiday stuff. I am telling my family that I am not cooking Thanksgiving dinner this year, so they better figure out something else. I don't care what it is, don't even care if I'm involved, but I'm not doing the cooking.
Slow, I hope your RA doc can get to the bottom of this inflammation quickly and get you back on track. Love the animation, the dance scene is one of my favorites in the Charlie Brown christmas special. I remember when I was a kid trying to copy what all those characters were doing. Yeah, I was pretty silly.
Sandy, I don't think I've ever seen the color-by-number kits. When I was kid, it was paint by number. If there had been color-by-number, I would have bought those for sure.
The truth is, though, I bought a Big Nate book (a kid's story book, not really a coloring book) and I'm coloring all the illustrations in the book. I did this years ago with a different book I later gave away to the library sale. I've often wondered what the person who bought the book made of the colored illustrations.
Ducky, remember the coloring is not busy work, it's occupational therapy.
Tomboy, is that a pineapple on the sidewalk in that scene? It's so cute!
Sula, yes, that is me with my Oncotype report in hand. That even looks like my hair, before I cut it shorter for my surgery. I told my niece I am going to have to touch up the gray hairs again - I was counting on them all falling out anyway.
Good grief, Roses, there are inappropriate results for adult coloring books? I'm torn between a horrible curiosity and never, ever, wanting to google that. I'll take your word for it.
The support group meeting last night was really good. We had an instructor from the YMCA talking about exercise you can do at home with a few inexpensive items like resistance bands. And I met a bunch of local people who are survivors of many years - I was surprised how many members they had who were 8 to 15 years out. One is even 23 years out! I was one of two people in active treatment attending that night. They were making arrangements to help with driving another woman who is in treatment and doesn't have family nearby to help, with people who are retired, work part time, or are stay at home moms splitting up the appointments. What a great group.
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Googled “Venus Paradise coloring sets” and found on eBay a few packets of picture templates and some sets of the pencils (most incomplete, used or several of the same color)--all insanely expensive. Apparently, there are collectors of ‘60s crafts memorabilia out there! (Remember “Colorforms” vinyl stickies)? I never did get into paint-by-numbers: kinda messy (even watercolors) and the oil paints triggered my asthma (as well as flashbacks of wet alkyd paint in the hallways during my grade school years--the smell made me hurl; and I have this thing about ruining my clothes with paint stains). I am a fountain pen collector--over 400 vintage & modern over the past 20 years, as well as about 30 different inks. But I am not in the least talented at visual arts--just music & theater (and definitely not dance). I draw like a three-year-old. I write with pen & ink for correspondence, journaling and crossword puzzles (especially cryptics & acrostics; for diagramless I have to resort to pencil, eraser and graph paper).
Wonder if there are b/w templates for comic strips or even graphic novels, for honing coloring skills? I really liked the Venus Paradise stuff (guess it was a northeastern thing primarily) because the pencils were neat and precise, and the pictures were intricate. An there was nothing to clean up (save emptying the pencil sharpener of shavings).
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Hahahaah, ChiSandy! You made me laugh when you gave Ducky permission to stroll without her big girl panties! I am going to have to look up those venus paradise coloring sets, and yes, I loved colorforms ! I couldn't remember the name!
Cubbie, yes that IS a pineapple! Good eye! When I have gone to buy those toys, and they are pretty scarce to find sometimes ( I actually think you will hear about them on the news this year) , I see the kids faces brighten up so much! And they yell "Mom! They have shopkins!", they really are something adorable, and the kids are crazy about them. I actually keep some by my bedside lamp, they make me smile as I turn out the light. I know. I've got it bad.
Katy, you ok? I am just about done with your thingy, I am sorry I have had a lot of distractions lately. I will get it in the mail soon, and then you will have my address!
Hi shorfi!
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Wow Good Morning Crazies.
It is a thriving thread. Super misty in NYC this morning; feels like everything is draped in gauze.
Where to begin hello's? first Slow It's good to see you back here sister. I am sorry things have been so flared up for you. I hope once you cycle back to RA doc you can get a game plan to support you.
Tom- I love your statement- 'childhood return' and You have never sounded like an idiot! be gentle with yourself.
Octo- i am so sorry for the heartbreaking violence on the campus. How are you feeling this morning? Did you have the appointment with the RO? sorry if I missed you mentioning the outcome of that.
Shorfi- I feel your utter frustration with the chronic pain. Do you have any 'diagnosis'? like herniation or stenosis? I don't remember if you mentioned the genesis of the pain.
Katy - Ah how we've all been poked and prodded and tested and just generally invaded- of course the idea ( and timing) of having the eye surgery feels awful. How can we support you to bolster your fortitude leading up to it? creating the holiday card sounded like a good distraction. And morning walks are healing!
Cubbie yay for low onco type
Ducky I love that sign- Cancer was not a gift and it did not make me a better person- SHOUT IT!
Getting ready to head up to Rhodes Island this morning. Can't wait to be near the ocean. My acupuncturist Master Lu said my energy reserves are very low and I need to sleep and rest more. Argh, and I thought I was turning a corner! But the invisible is more powerful than the visible, so I will rest by the sea for a couple of days. The real challenge is figuring out how to rest in NYC.....
I know I'm missing some of you sweet sisters but my spirit is always with all of you fine ladies of CT.
More later crazies
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Chevy, just read on the Insomniacs thread about your friend Theresa and her return to the here and now. Enjoy those cupcakes and laughter. Sharing your happy tears. Or as my nephews, when they were little called them "tears of Joyce" (Joyce's tears)
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gala, enjoy your time in RI, my ENT told me once that sailing was good for me, as in wind and salt air would clean out the old sinus stuff so do go get cleaned out!
I am feeling a ton better today, think stopping the pill for my back was a good idea as the last two mornings I have gotten out of bed with not a lot of achies! so good. I also just saw a video on one of the news shows of some speeches by Christie, out chubbie governor in NJ. I sort of neutral about him and really think he should stay home and do his job but that is not my thought. In a few speeches in NH he talked about addiction and told a story about a pal of his who died after becoming addicted to pain meds after injuring his back jogging. It has gone viral. It just hit home to me and so glad my solution to my back issue has been helped with chiro and exercise.
Gee I did some searching for where to find coloring books but did not find any creepiness! I now know that Michaels and the book stores has them so sort of planning a trip to Michaels although you do have me interested!
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Good Morning Crazies!!
We've got some appointments today to mention so first things first.....
Poppy, We are all in your pocket for your follow up today with your endo doc. I hope you receive good news from your US results!! Please let us know when you can.
Ducky, Hope all goes well with your neurologist appointment today. We are in your pocket as well!! Hope you were able to get some sleep last night.
Marie, Best wishes on your biopsy today!! We are all in your pocket too. Keeping all crossable body parts crossed for a B9 result. Please let us know how it went when you can.
Sula, Hahahahahahaha!! Sue Heck cracks me up. She plays that part so well.
Gaia, Thank you. I've had this swelling since chemo ended over two years ago. It will be nice when they are finally able to give me an explanation. Enjoy your time in Rhode Island. I hope you're able to restore your energy and get some much needed rest.
PTS, So glad to hear you're feeling good this morning. Does the weather ever affect how your back feels?
Katy, Where are you sweet Katy? Not like you to be so quiet. Have you ever seen my milk carton??? If you don't show up soon, we may need to use it. Seriously though....I hope you're doing ok today. Thinking of you kind lady. I get worried about you when you go quiet. I still have wooden spoon stories if needed!!
Tomboy, Got any projects going today? I've got to go through my old pictures and get them sorted. I'm thinking about doing a family video with all the old pictures. Give them away at Christmas. I haven't decided if that will require more energy than I have. hahaha
Octo, I've been following the story at UC Merced. Very sad and scary. They aren't releasing much information on the suspect other than to say he was a resident of CA.
Rose, Hope your Herceptin infusion went well yesterday and you're feeling good today.
Notagain, How are you?? Thinking of you.
Cubbie, Thanks for the good wishes. I loved watching the Charlie Brown specials as a kid. It's so different now. The kids don't have the same anticipation we used to have because all of the Christmas shows are on DVD, and they can watch them all year long. When we were kids, you either watched it when it came on or you had to wait until the following year. Your support group sounds wonderful. It's great hearing about the women that are 8-10 years out. Twenty-three years is amazing!!! Gives us all hope - thank you!!
It's brisk and chilly here this morning. Such a nice change from how it's been. I'm tempted to try and get out there and walk a little. I'm afraid if I get too far from my house I won't be able to get back!! haha
Hope you're all having a pain free, peaceful morning.
Love to all....quiet crazies too!!
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Christine- how wonderful to have some R&R in RI. Will be thinking of you.
Octo- hope today has dawned a little brighter for you. You haven't been far from my heart and thoughts since yesterday.
Iris- so glad you are feeling better. The pain meds issue is near and dear to my heart. I still have post mastectomy pain, pretty much 24/7. Since I got treated for truncal lymphedema it is better, and I have greatly reduced my pain meds (oxy+meloxicam) but I just can't get completely off. I get so frustrated with all of the pain for so long now and don't see why I should live in constant pain. But I am hyper aware of the dangers and talk to my MO and my shrink constantly about this. There doesn't seem to be an immediate solution. Pain is complicated, and I am aware at some point that my brain might be missing/mixing signals. But it's not imaginary pain as far as I perceive it. One of my greatest problems..
But today the crisis is I decided I wanted a heritage turkey for my Thanksgiving table. My neice is coming. She can get them in her town. But they are already sold out for the year. I called everywhere. Unless I want to mail order and pay beau coup $$ for shipping, the best I can do is non GMO/organic. I just can't stand the idea of anything else. Even if they are free range, a lot of their diet is corn, which is all GMO these days. So organic it is, and next year I will order early and upgrade to a heritage turkey. In a way I'm glad that these small suppliers are doing so well. It means consumers are getting smarter and making better choices. The name of the company I'm getting mine from (through a local market in my neice's town) is Mary's. Cool company.
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Good morning crazies...
First of all, thanks for the kind thoughts and love...I really do appreciate it. Campus is closed still but it looks like we will be open and classes will resume tomorrow. Meanwhile, I am trying to take it easy and work from home although I will confess that my mind isn't really on work, in the traditional sense. There is a candlelight vigil planned by the students at the end of the day tomorrow, I am planning to attend and look forward to being a part of the community as we heal.
I've learned a bit from the experience: I've learned that I love this community more than I thought I did, which is a really nice lesson to learn. Apart from that, one of the more interesting lessons is that I am finding *any* political comments on social media and such to be surprisingly hurtful, *regardless* of whether I agree with the political point of view or not, because they feel divisive at a time when I feel that it is important for our community to come together and support each other. The students in particular feel so vulnerable: many of them are young and away from home from the first time (as apparently was also the case for the man who initiated the attacks: he's been identified as an 18 year old freshman who was living on campus). Moreover, a significant majority of our students (over 60%) are the first in their family to attend university. I think this increases anxiety for the parents, who honestly in many cases are not sure about the entire college experience.
But honestly, even for someone like me who has worked in a university environment for almost twenty years, it is very hard to process, especially since the young man was shot on a bridge that is basically iconic for folks here....(at the start of their freshman year there is a ceremony where the new students cross the bridge with the Chancellor and leadership, as a symbol of starting their new educational journey). And oh yeah, my son was a student here and is now an alum. So, it all feels so close to home.
Anyway, lesson learned, even in the worst cases where I feel a need to scream my political point of view from the rooftops I am going to refrain from doing so publicly for a week or so afterwards. (but if you want to know my views and can't guess based on the fact that I grew up in the SF bay area :-) , just ask, a week from now...)
I wish I had time to catch up with all of you individually, but today isn't the day. Just a few comments: Christine, have a wonderful time in RI by the coast. I hope you can find a way to take away that hip pain! It sucks....oh, and Katy, Mary's is a great brand of turkey, with roots right here in the Great Central Valley....I've also used them for many a Thanksgiving dinner. and of course, thinking of you too Ducky! In your pocket today also.
I did see the RO yesterday and it went well, so I am going with his practice for the rads. Maybe I mentioned that already? Brain a bit foggy today....Meanwhile, I am fighting with insurance (AGAIN!) over the Nuepogen for my last chemo treatment Monday. Every time I've had to go through this and every time I win, but they still make me do it again. I gave them an earful earlier...Which reminds me: Rain: I hope you get a good resolution on your own insurance issues and soon!
Thanks for being there crazies and for letting me rant on. This is such a safe place.
xoxox
Octogirl
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Octo, I am not sure I would not be much the same as you at this time, have had some not same but traumatic events and others comments well, not welcome really. Glad you have this safe place to vent.
Hard to say really if the weather affects my back as if it did, it should be nasty as it is damp and rainy but it is not bothering me much. So a good thing there. I saw a man at the gym this morning who is planning on surgery for his back ( he has already done the dang shots), he did not have a good expression on his face, interesting how I can tell when folks are in pain, the gym has a few of them.
Well you made me do it! I went to Michaels and bought a coloring book and pencils. Made sure I also bought an eraser just in case! The certainly do have some pricey ones but think the 5.99 ones are best for this rookie. I used to do lots of artsie farstsie things so maybe I will get back into things again.
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Ok, if we are going on a Coloring Book Club, then I am going to join........LOL.........my daughter stopped at Michael's for yarn last night on the way home from taking me to my Dr. appt..........(would not let me drive, REALLY)...............so I waited in the car for her to come out..............had I gone in and broused the stores I might have seen them...............will check it out..........
Guess what.......went to the Neurologist like I was suppose to at 4pm today.........guess my head was still up my ass on Tuesday.................
I went to the wrong hospital......called to apologize for missing the appt...........and it was for yesterday at 4pm......................REALLY..........as usual like my kids say "MOM YOU NEVER PAY ATTENTION WHEN SOMEONE IS TALKING TO YOU"............hmmmm, guess they are right.0 -
oh dear Duck, definitely think you need something to relax you, you certainly are preoccupied, thinking maybe a stiff drink tonight is in order? If you decide to do the coloring book, they display was right in the front of Michaels, they seem to be promoting them so there must be nutty folks like me around!
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Went for a walk with Friend and our two dogs at the beach. Very therapeutic. So beautiful and watching these to jokers really made me laugh. I couldn't keep up with Jack with the camera. See the YouTube link above
Sorry I've been so quiet. Really have been struggling and I hated to cry wolf again. Please forgive me, you are all always on my mind, even when I'm too self-centered to life a finger and comment.
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Gentle hugs to you Katy!! ((((((((((Katy)))))))))) ......We are all always here to pull you back into the light!! That's what we do for each other. Love the video of the dogs!! They look so happy together....thanks for sharing it!! I also love the beach and wish I lived closer.
Ducky, Love you. You're not alone in your confusion. I'm right there beside you. When I have more time, I'll tell you the really silly things I've done THIS week. hahaha
PTS, I think you may have convinced me to get a coloring book.
Octo, Sending you extra hugs again today.
My DH and I are off to run some errands. When I get back, I'm going to tell you all another wooden spoon story. It's one of my favorites!!
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Hi Crazies,
Hugs to Katy and Octo , ducky and all who need one. Congrats to cubbie! I thought I had hit send on a note last night. Octo so sorry about the shooting, how horrible. So glad you are ok and can only imagine how hard this is for you all. Hopefully the community will pull together. There is such incredible power in that.
I had been lurking. Finally saw my BS today. He says it is tiny (2-5 mm)IDC and estrogen receptive. He suggests mastectomy and tamoxifen. I'm opting for double. I also have scans scheduled for next Tuesday, that will be my next gauntlet. Chest, abdomen, bone scan and brain. How scary is that?. I also see plastic surgeon same day so things are starting to throttle forward. BS is suggesting DIEP. 10 hour surgery! Now need to go read up on all of this. I was so certain I was on my last legs and headed for chemo, I feel this is a slight reprieve. Tests must go well and surgery must go well... No nodes, etc. so time will tell. Thanks for being there crazies.. You are wonderful.
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