CRAZY TOWN WAITING ROOM - TESTS coming up? All Stages Welcome.
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It's extremely depressing.........when I look at other people walking, walking fast, or even running. I used to do those things. I'm too proud to use an electric cart in the market and my husband thinks I am being silly....I guess I have foolish pride. It's like giving up...so for now I am trying to keep the pain at bay...I do take the Tylenol with codeine occasionally, but it constipates me so badly.....and they want me to take it 3 times a day.....
Tom....I had a nerve block....it worked for about 2-3 weeks and for the first time in years I felt great. But you can't continue getting those shots either...
Getting old ain't for sissies.................
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sounds like me as well, I think my back issues were triggered by a fall from a ladder in my house, I was painting the ceiling and fell backwards and landed flat on my back. I was scared at first as no one else was in the house with me. But then I gingerly got up and actually felt no pain at the time. But then again, last year I was working with a new trainer at the gym, she told me to do something to supposedly help strengthen my core and I felt the zing in my back. That was the start of this current shit. Just back from a short trip to Kohls for some kitchen stuff so now back on the sofa with heat. Hip /back is happier this way
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{{{{{{{{{{Katy}}}}}}}}}}...hope you are ok.
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shorfi and proudtospin (and any other interested ladies) - I haven't been a member on this thread for a long time so don't know your full stories but thought I'd suggest the LiveStrong program for you as an option. This is a free program that is on done through your local YMCA/YWCA that is designed specifically for cancer survivors; it is a 12 week program that helps you get your mojo back so to speak. There are 2 classes per week that last an hour and a half, the first 30 minutes is "community" time, sort of a support group format with some health, fitness and nutrition teaching thrown in. The last hour is learning to exercise based on your age, level and ability. They do assessment "tests" at the beginning of the 12 week period and then again at the end with the intention of helping you reach a fitness goal, whether that may be getting back on your feet and making it through a shopping trip or running a marathon. Check with your local Y if there is one in your area and see if they offer this program. It doesn't matter if you are a recent cancer survivor or it's been 20 years, if you've been through chemo, rads, surgery whatever it's a great process to help in healing mind and body. My class had an age range of late 20's to early 80's, I enjoyed meeting many new people who've been through similar experiences and found a way to exercise and get into tip-top shape for my reconstruction surgery. We have an alumi group that meets on a weekly basis for exercise, there is a weekly support group and fun activities through the year...all at no cost to you. I have stayed with the program as a volunteer and recently enjoyed the Christmas Party they held for ALL patients and survivors. Lovely opportunity if you can take it.
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Meg, I looked into Live strong and a local Y does have it. It is a nice Y but I have been a member at a fitness/wellness center for over 10 years so I did not take them up. It is a good idea for folks who do not have access to a gym and thanks for the offer
at the Y I went to, the ladies would do the 12 weeks and then reup! no one cared!
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I belong to Silver Sneakers at the Y......just got their new book about what's going on and saw that program for cancer patients...........
Will check into it......did sound interesting......
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eggroll, I read your post and I completely understand why you feel alarmed. I would feel the same way. I thought tomboy wrote a remarkable reply. We are very fortunate to be able to openly talk about our fears and joys, our good and bad days, our dark and joyous hours on this thread. I hope you insist that one of your doctors examines your breast to figure out what is going on. I will be thinking of you and hoping that you gain clarity soon.
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just doing a drive by. Had the worst day ever. Everything that could get screwed up did, and I cried in several doctors offices, the pharmacy and the supermarket. A complete meltdown, write off of a day.
I don't have even the energy to complain in writing. Suffice it to say I need hugs and comfort food shoved through the tube and pronto!
Sorry, this is the best I can do for today, but I wanted you to know I was still kicking. More like kicking and screaming. Ugh.
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((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
to Katy
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Katy, I'm so glad you checked in! I know it can be so hard to do that sometimes. I wish I was closer to you; I would go with you to all of those appointments and help in anyway I could. Knowing Slow and Tomboy, they would come along, too. Nothing like 3 residents of Crazy Town to keep you company! ((((Hugs))))))
Iris and Shorfi, So sorry you have these pain issues. Shorfi, I hope you find relief.... it sounds miserable. My DH has bulging discs and when they act up he is a real mess.
My visit with my MO was good news/bad news. My AI is being switched from letrozole to see if I can get relief from the fatigue. But, my mammogram was BIRADS 3 (same as when I was diagnosed) area of concern is scar tissue vs cancer.. Fuckity, fuck, fuck! Repeat mammo in 6 mos. My DH wants me to push for an answer now, I want to enjoy Christmas and my trip to Paris with son #2, and deal with it at my follow up appointment with MO in a month.
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poppy...push for the answer now. I'm sure it's just fatty necrosis. I've experienced it a lot after my mastectomy. I'm on a 6 month recall for a lump designated as Birads 3. I've had 3 six months follow ups and there is no change. I'm sorry they said I could get ultrasound in a year.
Katy...I got you. And remember you have my number. Love you girl.
I wish we could all meet one day. It would be awesome.
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Jack,
So sorry you've had such a bad day... I heard your call for comfort food through the tubes... How about a nice piece of my gluten free Pear and Almond cake... There's still a tiny bit left after last nights guests...
Good luck on your cataract surgery. My husband had it a couple of years ago... Evidently his family has this weird genetic thing that causes spontaneous retinal tears ( his younger brother had the same a few years before him!) unfortunately the side effect of fixing it is the person usually needs cataract surgery within about 2 yrs. So he had it it was so quick, I was shocked. He just breezed through it. He's reassured me in case I ever need to do it. I have heard that some anti hormonal a can make one more prone to developing cataracts ... Is this related to your tamoxofin issues?
Enjoy your virtual cake!! Hugs!!
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Katy: hugs on the way...any particular kind of comfort food?
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((((((((((((((katy))))))))))))) from me also! Having albondigas. Maybe I should send you some to enjoy before that cake from Sula (though let's be honest, Sula's cake would probably be the star of the meal....).
Octogirl
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((Katy)). Sorry it was such a tough day. I hope you can get a good sleep tonight and feel better tomorrow.
Can we stop the Christmas season? Total madness. Got the sim done today, tomorrow is the big day. So tired, heading to bed. Goodnight, everyone.
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Will be thinking of you tomorrow, Cubbie! Hope it goes well.
Octogirl
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katy, your body shuttles stress hormones into your tear ducts. Crying releases those stress hormones. A good cry is nature's tranquilizer.
Big hug. You are so kind, so fine, so caring, Little Sister. I had a meltdown myself yesterday with a huge crying jag. I think it is partly connected to the holidays. They bring back so many memories.
I don't have any comfort food in the house. Others have wonderful treats. I hope tomorrow is a good day for you.
In the meantime, there is nothing wrong with crying. Your body is just saying that it is time to get rid of the stress overload.
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Well, I saw my radiation oncologist, he wasn't concerned about it. The nurse seemed to think it looked better than the day before. All I got was "anything could cause it." Man that sucks. So I dutifully went in for radiation and I requested some anti-anxiety meds. I just can't take the worrying anymore and deep breathing, yoga, and being thankful are just not cutting it!
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Tired of it all.........just want to be left alone........0
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Ducky...my sentiments exactly..........
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Here is how I am feeling today...
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Hi Crazies,
I'm very sorry I've been MIA. I sit down each night to catch up and it's such an overwhelming task because I've missed so much. So maybe I will just start from here.
Cubbie, Good luck today on your first rads. We will all be right in your pocket!!
Notagain, I'm sorry I missed your surgery yesterday. I hope you do know we were all there in spirit!! Please let us know how you're doing when you can. You were in my thoughts throughout the day.
Katy, You know you're on my mind. I have no good snacks to send through the tub because we need to go to the grocery store, but I can certainly offer tons of hugs. We will all be thinking about you tomorrow!!
Cubbie, Notagain, Katy:
Bonski, I'm very sorry I missed your entrance into Crazy Town. Welcome to our thread!!!
Please pull up and chair and get your crazy on. Here is your welcome kit consisting of a magnifying glass, mirror, flashlight and coconut oil. Please use it sparingly. We are so happy you found us!!
Lucy, How are you??? Hope you're enjoying those beautiful grands!! Thinking of you and your DH.
Octo, A mighty BIG squeeze to you!
Sula, Always to the rescue with the delicious food!! Heck yeah I would do the last Herceptin!! I missed my last one due to SE's.
Gaia, Thinking of you. I hope the wedding plans are coming along nicely and the details aren't driving you too crazy.
Shorfi, I wish we all had a magic pill to take away the pain. Unfortunately, they all cause constipation!!!
Eggroll, Sorry to hear about your troubles. I popped anti-anxiety meds like tic tacs when I was going through treatment. I received your wonderful magnets!! Thank you so much!! Wishing you minimal SE's during radiation!
Ducky, Love you to pieces - AS ALWAYS. Glad to see you pulled out the milk container!! haha Also glad you found your way back!!
Tomboy, This is just for you. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) !!
Chi, I hope you're having a fabulous time on your vacation!! I don't fly so I have to live vicariously through all of my crazies trips. Also my DD - she loves to travel. I see the world through her.
Rain, Thanks for always asking about me and DH. We are both on the mend. He is finally back to work and doing much better. It was a long couple of weeks with us both being sick. Is your last rad treatment still on the 22nd??? I bet you can't wait to finish!!
Queen, How are you healing from your surgery??
Poppy, I hope you're on the mend!! I have a bit or experience as far as butt abnormalities and it's not fun at all!! I hope the itch isn't too bad. I'm keeping good thoughts in my head that what they are seeing is scar tissue. 6 month wait and watch club unites!!
DesicionFreak, I hope they get that pain under control soon. Have you tried a muscle relaxer? That REALLY helps me at night. I never thought something so simple could help with the pain.
Iris, You really are an inspiration to us all. You just keep moving forward with those exercises in spite of everything.
MEG, It's good to see you. Welcome back!!
Robin, How did your first infusion go?? I apologize if you said earlier, I decided playing catch was too overwhelming. Hope your SE's aren't too bad so far.
Mulligan, Your rads must be well underway?? I hope all is going well for you.
Rose, How are you doing?
Italy, How is the bike riding? Hasn't our weather been wonderful? I'm so happy it's not hot anymore.
JAN, Waving to you!!
Littleblue, Hi!! I've always loved your name....littleblue. Just typing it makes me smile.
Chloesmom, I know your hands hurt and you don't type too much. Just wanted to say HI!!
For those I didn't mention, you know you're all in my thoughts. Once you post in Crazy Town, you're always a part of us all!!
We are all going through so much. I think we need to have a little fun around here for a change. How about an ugly holiday sweater contest??? hahaha Here is my contribution!!
Love you all....quiet crazies too!!
P.S. Updating the spreadsheet. If you have appointments, tests or surgeries coming up, please let me know. If I've forgotten anyone, please let me know that too.
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I'm healing itchily, but my bruises are now sickly yellow....so doing well enough!
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Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts the last ....well....I guess weeks since I've been right. I think DF is right and all that crying made me feel a bit better. As did the offerings of love, hugs, support, comfort food of any kind. Having a quiet day, and thinking of you all, especially those with surgeries, recoveries, starting rads, finishing rads. You all have a right to your Craziness, no matter where on the "crazy spectrum" you are.
I honestly don't know what I'd do without you all, and the girls in my March chemo group (we are lucky to have Italychick and LittleBlueFlowers there too). I didn't find bco until months after my surgery, the anniversary if which is tomorrow. I was alone for a long time, recovering alone, and trying not to be frustrated that my family and close peeps just couldn't or wouldn't wrap their brains around the details of my case, the decisions I was in the process of making, and my fear. I think, like most if us, I thought just getting through tx was the goal. I realize now that for me, it's going to take much more time. Before BC, as I have mentioned before, I had several serious health problems, surgeries, procedures, and hospitalizations.
All of that left me very unfit, even before the harsh treatment my body experienced in 2015. It may mean I'm not going to ever get close to the fitness level I was at in the years prior. I don't want it to sound like I am giving up. I'm not. I just became aware if how much I was judging myself for not trying hard enough, not walking when I knew I should but just did not have the energy. Some of how I'm feeling me is probably still chemo related. Undoubtedly the Tamoxifen has played it's part too.
So these last few days I've simply let myself off the hook. I tell myself repeatedly, as in like a mantra when I need to hear it, that it's all ok. That it's going to be ok. That I am loved. By many people and I am so lucky to have that love. But without loving myself, and accepting my actions and thoughts, all if the rest has little power to heal.
So that's where I am right now. Injured but not broken. I wish I had the energy to be more individually responsive, but you must believe that with every post I read, and I do read them all, I shut my eyes for a minute and imagine you, each of you. And mourn with you. And laugh with you. Cry with you. Wish good results for you. Wish your husbands and children grace to help you and themselves during thus sometimes senseless time. Wish you peace. And wish the holidays, whichever you celebrate, bring you a sense ofwholeness and home, and no tsunami of pressure or guilt about what you cannot achieve during these difficult days. Please only count the good you feel, think, and do. Let the rest go.
That is my wish for all my lovely Crazies on this rainy day.
🎪🎪🎪🎪🎪
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Okay, Bep, Who is Mulligan?? Did I miss something?? Also, you said, 'send it thru the TUB!!! Cracked me up!! And I adore the little face you made for me! How did you DO that?!!?
Eggroll, sounds like you are good to go. I am glad you got it checked out. And don't worry, I am sure I was the most freaked out person ever, to get bc, and man did my doctors know it!! I wasn't very nice sometimes!
Apology to Decision Freak, just a general all around apology....
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My Part D Medicare plan would not pay much or any money for one of the good muscle relaxant. I can't remember the name of it. $80 a month though I could now check GoodRX. I tried one muscle relaxant years ago and it didn't work.
Any suggestions on good muscle relaxants? I thought the family doctor was going to give birth to a cow when I asked him for a muscle relaxant prescription. He went into a rage state. He gave me one month, no refills. He said one of my other doctors should be writing the prescription. Same doctor would not give me B12 shots, but another doctor I see on a consulting basis felt I should have B12 shots, and he prescribed the vials.
They are coming tomorrow to take away Anne's hospital beds. Medicare refused to pay despite medical need and legitimate doctor's orders. They are paying auditors $$$$ to find ways to reject medical equipment claims. The auditors rejected the claim for Anne's medical bed based on two words the doctor wrote in the order. Welcome to medical care rationing. It is only going to get worse. My own doctor who is a big deal at a medical school could not find the right words to get a medical bed for me. I got a used one from a charitable organization that was nearly brand new. Now that group cannot keep up with demand because Medicare is paying these auditors big bucks to find ways to turn down claims.
I may need bone grafts in my mouth and additional dental work if I need to take one of those bones drugs to protect against osteoporosis on the AIs. I am on a limited income and can barely pay now for my medical care. What a mess it is to get cancer treatment.
I am sick of hearing myself bitch, too.
It is Christmas but I don't feel full of cheer all of a sudden.
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Tomboy, what did I miss? Why do I need an apology? I need to look back and see what I said.
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Queen, glad to hear you're healing nicely.
Katy, It has taken me a long time to accept my limitations. At the beginning, it really bothered me. Most times, I have to use the wheel chair when my DH and DD want to go shopping. At the beginning, I was mortified. But, I NEVER lose hope that it will get better. I know this from past experience. I have learned to be kinder to myself this time. Don't get me wrong....I still get frustrated along the way, but I also know that each day will get just a little better. Believing that helps me go on each day. You may have to take the long way around, but what matters is you'll get there eventually!!! ((((((Katy)))))
Tomboy, Mulligan hasn't posted in awhile, but I know she had her rad sim at the beginning of Dec. I assumed she would have started by now. If you're a good little girl, Santa may just drop his/her list of smiley faces in your email sometime soon!! hahaha
DF, I am on Flexeril. I only take it right before bedtime. I was getting zero sleep due to pain, and this was suggested by my RA doc. It has made a big difference for me.
Ducky, That is so true. (((((Ducky)))))
I've got so much to do for the holiday and no energy to move!! Maybe I'll just hang out in CT all day!!!!
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